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Thread: am i being played? :(

  1. #1
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Unhappy am i being played? :(

    Hi everyone. I've been sad for nearly two weeks now. Its getting too heavy on me already and I need to let this out of my chest. :(

    I dont know what went wrong. He suddenly stopped communicating. He told me to give him a week to purchase or fix his pc and I did wait for that but its more than a week now. I sent him text asking him to speak to me but I got no reply. I even email him but got no reply either. We never had a fight before this. The last time we talked he told me to 'never give up on him'
    and I will not because I love him so much and I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him but its more than a week now and his silence is driving me mad and this is hurting me too much. I am in the dark here. I dont know
    if I should still wait for him or maybe i am looking like a fool already, waiting for no one. I dont know if he got sick or much worse, dead. I dont know if i should move on already. I never played at our relationship nor in any relationship that I had. I loved him genuinely. I sent him an email telling him that I will wait till Friday. If I didnt hear from him, if I got no calls, text or email, then I have to move on. So now I am still hoping that he will show up and talk to me again.

    I've been reading so much great stories here about loving, meeting and finally being with the one she/he love and its making me jealous. Makes me wonder where can I find such nice guys. I thought my love story with my british bloke would end up like you guys but I guess not for me.
    This is the first time I had a long distance relationship and I never thought it would be this hard. There are stories here about filipina's who just played with her brit bf well, maybe I am the counterpart.

    Is it normal for brits to do that? Its kind of rude to just leave without saying a word dont you think? I thought brits are born gentleman?


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    Quote Originally Posted by jam07 View Post
    Hi everyone. I've been sad for nearly two weeks I am in the dark here. I dont know
    if I should still wait for him or maybe i am looking like a fool already, waiting for no one. I dont know if he got sick or much worse, dead. I dont know if i should move on already. I never played at our relationship nor in any relationship that I had. I loved him genuinely. I sent him an email telling him that I will wait till Friday. If I didnt hear from him, if I got no calls, text or email, then I have to move on. So now I am still hoping that he will show up and talk to me again.

    ?
    Ultimatums never go down very well.....

    There could be genuine reasons why he cannot contact you.
    Can't imagine which ones tho.....

    Just don't despair just yet, try to keep in touch and see if you can get an answer.
    For all we know, he could have lost his job and too ashamed to say anything until he gets another one.....

    Cheer up.


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jam07 View Post
    I've been reading so much great stories here about loving, meeting and finally being with the one she/he love and its making me jealous.
    You haven't read them all then, most have problems at some stage.....Read Fity's posts yesterday ........knocked Eastenders off top spot that one

    British guys can be stubborn, but we also have a habit of dumping folk by just moving on and never contacting again, saves giving an explanation.
    Keith - Administrator


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    Respected Member aryM's Avatar
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    Hello Jam,.. my friend here had experienced the same thing before, her boyfriend had an accident and was not able to leave any message. I know how it hurts. I am not saying that the same thing might have happened to your bf, maybe there are some circumstances that can't be avoided. You said you have emailed him and wait for a reply this Friday, just wait for it and don't stop praying. Have you tried calling him...? I don't think its the right time to give up and say start moving on. Just trust in his words, and lift it all to God. Ask some signs.


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    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    try calling his mobile, if it rings move on.... u have sent him a text and in theory he should have read that. the emails and chat might be down to his pc not working or something.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  6. #6
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aryM View Post
    Hello Jam,.. my friend here had experienced the same thing before, her boyfriend had an accident and was not able to leave any message. I know how it hurts. I am not saying that the same thing might have happened to your bf, maybe there are some circumstances that can't be avoided. You said you have emailed him and wait for a reply this Friday, just wait for it and don't stop praying. Have you tried calling him...? I don't think its the right time to give up and say start moving on. Just trust in his words, and lift it all to God. Ask some signs.
    I will try to give him a call tomorrow early... if it rings, maybe its a sign that i have to move on... :(


  7. #7
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maria_and_matt View Post
    try calling his mobile, if it rings move on.... u have sent him a text and in theory he should have read that. the emails and chat might be down to his pc not working or something.
    thanks maria and matt, I will give him a call tom early morning and we'll see then... :(


  8. #8
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    Ultimatums never go down very well.....

    There could be genuine reasons why he cannot contact you.
    Can't imagine which ones tho.....

    Just don't despair just yet, try to keep in touch and see if you can get an answer.
    For all we know, he could have lost his job and too ashamed to say anything until he gets another one.....

    Cheer up.
    thanks aromolus
    honestly, I dont know if that ultimatum will ever happen because i feel i can still hold on. For how long? that i dont know... i hope he shows up soon :( i am missin' him so much....


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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    ..Read Fity's posts yesterday
    Yesterday forum was really alive about "his thread" and the "fart" as well, so I ask myself what would be interesting topic today and when I log on,saw this thread and I said "oh my gulay"

    Anyhow jam, wait and see, since you said friday,lets wait till friday, to comfort you, and its a fact that most (especially) the british guy here in the forum are genuinely gentleman and the way they love thier filipina wife are amazing. No doubt, so to be fair dont give up that easily since he said he will fix his pc, not that long thou, keep calm jam, I do understand how you feel.


  10. #10
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jam07 View Post
    thanks maria and matt, I will give him a call tom early morning and we'll see then... :(
    try calling now.. its 930 here he should be at work... miss call only if you little load ka lg..
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  11. #11
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    god i hope he doesnt had an accident... he's a civil engineer... :((


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    Respected Member Les_lady888's Avatar
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    He told u that pc is broken so maybe the reason why u and him cant chat nor can he reply your emails.....lets say his pc got worst so it takes him maybe more than a week or maybe a month to fix it or replace it...

    I think it's a good idea that u call him instead and hopefully u can reach him. If not, just keep on trying. Better not dwell on negative thoughts. For all you know, he might be knocking on your door next morning (to dream is free so dream big)


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Les_lady888 View Post
    He told u that pc is broken so maybe the reason why u....
    Doesn't stop text messages though does it?
    Keith - Administrator


  14. #14
    Respected Member estherboaz's Avatar
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    hello jam. it happened to me before.actually he did not communicate with me for 2 weeks.i was worried and many thoughts came in my mind.i felt the same.gave ultimatum, sent text messages and emails.my emails nearly reached 100...only to find out he was hospitalized.


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    Respected Member Ana_may365's Avatar
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    hiya!,just give him a chance to explain it to u why,whats happened?dont think too much coz u only give ur self a heartache.dont be very weak in ur relations,if u really2x love him wait for his explanation or side,ok?


  16. #16
    Respected Member Les_lady888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    Doesn't stop text messages though does it?
    Hmmm...maybe he doesn't have a load??? ooops i mean mobile credits ok


  17. #17
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    No "Load" and he is a civil engineer Most people here have contract phones,you dont need a load,you just pay your monthly tariff



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Les_lady888 View Post
    Hmmm...maybe he doesn't have a load??? ooops i mean mobile credits ok
    i dont think load is the issue here...
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  19. #19
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    while chatting to my wife i went a few weeks without a laptop and i think it drove her mad,my pc needed replacing.

    my wife got some load and phoned me every few days,so i really dont know the reason why your bf didnt text you back???

    maybe try phoning and texting him telling him how you feel about having no contact??
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  20. #20
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    You didn't say how old the guy is Jam...if he's still young his family may still have a big influence on him...

    When I was planning to marry my Vimvie I didn't tell my family for a long time 'cause they can be interfering and controlling! Perhaps try to talk me out of it!?

    It's just a suggestion of what may have happened...

    Don't feel hurt, we're all your friends here!

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  21. #21
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    well sad but true some foriegners do this thing really by making some excuses because they dont want to hurt their filipina gf by telling its over and I am not telling you jam that yours like this.Its just that some of my friend suffered this experience and its not fair for them really...
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


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    Maybe he hasn't bought a new pc yet? Don't fret too much about it. Just let him be.. and I have to agree with Aramolus that ultimatums (at most times) don't work specially in LDRs since anyone can simply disappear... my last bf (not the one I have now) disappeared for a month! and well... it obviously didn't work eventually as I have realized how much fun life is without him... LOL...

    Glad I found my Simon though... but I didn't go looking... he found his way to me.. hehehe...


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    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Exclamation Am I Being Played ... ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post

    British guys can be stubborn, but we also have a habit of dumping folk by just moving on and never contacting again, saves giving an explanation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Daddy View Post
    well sad but true some foriegners do this thing really by making some excuses because they dont want to hurt their filipina gf by telling its over ... and its not fair for them really...
    I've taken the liberty of linking these two separate responses in my reply because, together, they seem to sum-up perfectly, an attitude that, sadly, all too often prevails with a certain TYPE of male OR female and can be found practically anywhere in the world. Such individuals invariably take "the coward's way out" of a difficult situation by choosing to ignore its existence - usually through lack of contact - on the pretext of "not wanting to hurt another's feelings ... etc., etc.". Piffle! Postponing the inevitable can only serve to prolong the agony [for the unfortunate person anxiously awaiting news] leading, in turn, to further unnecessary heartache.

    NO ... it ISN'T fair! And, in my estimation, THAT sort of behaviour amounts to nothing less than mental cruelty!


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    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post

    ... but we also have a habit of dumping folk by just moving on and never contacting again, saves giving an explanation.
    SOME do, admittedly ... But NOT ALL, Keith!


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    SOME do, admittedly ... But NOT ALL, Keith!
    You don't come from Liverpool do you?
    Keith - Administrator


  26. #26
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    relationship

    I think it is rather unfair to treat someone like this.
    Is it too much trouble to pick the phone up?
    There is no reason for him not to pass a message on to his Honey.

    I hope all does go well 4 u though and there is a genuine reason for this.

    Don't never be put off by Brits, loads of genuine great guys waiting to be with filapina's

    best of luck


  27. #27
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigel View Post
    You didn't say how old the guy is Jam...if he's still young his family may still have a big influence on him...

    When I was planning to marry my Vimvie I didn't tell my family for a long time 'cause they can be interfering and controlling! Perhaps try to talk me out of it!?

    It's just a suggestion of what may have happened...

    Don't feel hurt, we're all your friends here!
    Hi Nigel... he is 46 years old and divorced so I think family interferance is not a huge issue.. i just dont know what happened. We never had a fight or tampuhan before that and I didnt see it coming. there were no signs that he will leave like that at all... :(


  28. #28
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    In his late 40's?Already been through a divorce yet he cant be botherd nor hasnt the decency to contact you?I think you should steel yourself for whats probably going to happen,as pinays say,collect and select He might have another



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  29. #29
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Travellor View Post
    I think it is rather unfair to treat someone like this.
    Is it too much trouble to pick the phone up?
    There is no reason for him not to pass a message on to his Honey.

    I hope all does go well 4 u though and there is a genuine reason for this.

    Don't never be put off by Brits, loads of genuine great guys waiting to be with filapina's

    best of luck
    Hi Travellor. I find it rude and I dont think I deserve such treatment because I never did anything bad to him. I did love him with all my heart and I never fool him on anything... i dont want to end up broken hearted again...


  30. #30
    Respected Member jam07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Daddy View Post
    well sad but true some foriegners do this thing really by making some excuses because they dont want to hurt their filipina gf by telling its over and I am not telling you jam that yours like this.Its just that some of my friend suffered this experience and its not fair for them really...
    Hi Mrs. Daddy but the funny thing is, we never had a fight before this happend and there are no signs that he will leave just like that... it is really not fair :(


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