am i being played? :(

[lavander]

Hi Jam,

I can relate to u on the feeling of no sudden contact of someone which merely part of your everyday routine.....

Did he makes any move now? any news so far?.... do u have contacts of his relative or so?, his mates perhaps?

[jam07]

Hey Jam, how is it going - any news yet???
Fingers crossed for you and good luck...

Hi Jam,

I can relate to u on the feeling of no sudden contact of someone which merely part of your everyday routine.....

Did he makes any move now? any news so far?.... do u have contacts of his relative or so?, his mates perhaps?

Hi Lavander, thanks for understanding how I feel. Well, he finally texted me yesterday and guess what he said: 'ring me now'. what the... is the the only thing he can say to me after not communicating for more than two weeks?! god!

Just called him. He told me his pc is still down. He told me that he loves me.
He told me not to panic (well, maybe i sounded like one when I talked to him). He will be back online once the pc is fixed...

I dont know what to think anymore...
why are guys soooooo insensitive at times?! grrr!!!

[maria_and_matt]

why didnt he call you??? it is his pc thats broken and not his mobile or landline..!

[jam07]

why didnt he call you??? it is his pc thats broken and not his mobile or landline..!

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses!

[Ji&Ma]

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses!

This is very very weird and suspicious behaviour on his side I have to tell you...
Even if he's soooooooo busy don't tell me he can't find an odd five minutes (even less maybe) just to call you and tell you that everythings OK to calm you down???
Just in case my laptop will be broken down I would be trying to call my sweet mahal everyday and if not possible to call then txt at least...

[Tawi2]

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses!

He is too busy to phone you but not to answer you when you phone him?He is too busy to phone you but not to TXT you TO phone him?I think your thread title "Am I being played?" is a rhetorical question,look at it from an outsiders perspective,this relationship is going nowhere

[Sophie]

Well, he finally texted me yesterday and guess what he said: 'ring me now'. what the... is the the only thing he can say to me after not communicating for more than two weeks?! god!

Just called him. He told me his pc is still down. He told me that he loves me.
He told me not to panic (well, maybe i sounded like one when I talked to him). He will be back online once the pc is fixed...

That's it??? That's all he can say??? I'm sorry jam but this is a very bad sign.....
looks to me he is just trying to keep you around like a reserve and just leaves you hanging.....
while you wait for him to spare some time to contact you and telling you he still cannot get his pc fixed?? Oh that's so lame jam....
And he got the nerve to tell you not to panic??? How cocky!!! i suggest you ditch this guy, he is so not worth it...
Just my opinion jam, the decision will be entirely up to you....

he told me he'e a busy man...

Obviously you're not his priority.....i suggest you move on jam.....you deserve better......
Besides, his sudden change and lack of time for you and his lame excuses could also mean he is slowly letting go and probably just being subtle about it

[Tawi2]

Yup,sounds like your not high on his list of priorities,more like an afterthought,plus why should YOU be the one to phone HIM?Who is he?Brad Pitt?Which part of UK does he live Jam?Do some research on him,example has he told you his home phone number and address or do you just have a e-mail addie and cell-phone number?

[Sophie]

Yup,sounds like your not high on his list of priorities,more like an afterthought,plus why should YOU be the one to phone HIM?Who is he?Brad Pitt?Which part of UK does he live Jam?Do some research on him,example has he told you his home phone number and address or do you just have a e-mail addie and cell-phone number?

private investigator talking

[Sophie]

If he really loves you as he says, he will have his pc fixed the soonest possible time
and no matter how busy he is, he will make time for it....if he really wants so bad to chat to you and can't wait to talk to you again...
But looks to me now, he is actually using the broke down pc as an excuse for not communicating and chatting with you.....
Think about it jam............

[Jay&Zobel]

[COLOR="Red"] How cocky!!!

You're becoming British now Pia, Sophie rather...

[Sophie]

You're becoming British now Pia, Sophie rather...

looks like it

[Mrs Daddy]

That's it??? That's all he can say??? I'm sorry jam but this is a very bad sign.....
looks to me he is just trying to keep you around like a reserve and just leaves you hanging.....
while you wait for him to spare some time to contact you and telling you he still cannot get his pc fixed?? Oh that's so lame jam....
And he got the nerve to tell you not to panic??? How cocky!!! i suggest you ditch this guy, he is so not worth it...
Just my opinion jam, the decision will be entirely up to you....



Obviously you're not his priority.....i suggest you move on jam.....you deserve better......
Besides, his sudden change and lack of time for you and his lame excuses could also mean he is slowly letting go and probably just being subtle about it

Completely agree we`re trying not to discourage you or anything its just that as what members said there`s loads of ways to get in touch to you.Specially in todays technology you could have an internet on your phone and can access the net wherever you are, if he`s that skint he could pop in town and go to internet cafe.As what our friend say like the film she watched he might not really in to youAm sorry hope you`ll get over this bad situation soon

[vbkelly]

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses!

you know what jam if your man loves you he find a way to contact you or send any messages that still thinking of you, work its not an excuse. My bf now my husband every morning he wokes up sent a text to me, before his going to work sent a text to me, in his break time sent text to me,when he got home sent text to me. everyday more 10 text i recieved from him and he calls me in the weekend five months before we met in person and no online chat.

[aposhark]

...........I dont know what to think anymore...
why are guys soooooo insensitive at times?! grrr!!!

Hi Jam,

Just caught up on some posts.
Glad to see your bf and you are back in touch.

Now I don't know about every man, but when you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (referencing the experiences of many many relationship problems), men generally follow a pattern of "going into the cave" to reflect and sort out their predicaments.
I know I do.
Women generally like to talk all the time, men can shut off at times.

Don't worry too much, perhaps he will keep in touch for a long time, but do be prepared for his occasional silences.

[Sophie]

men can shut off at times.
but do be prepared for his occasional silences.

Can be true to some men or most men i suppose, but i still don't get it until now lol. Maybe you could shed some light on this........

[aposhark]

Can be true to some men or most men i suppose, but i still don't get it until now lol. Maybe you could shed some light on this........

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

[Sophie]

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

wow, very interesting, that sure made things clearer
women ought to get gray's book so we understand men more,
or better yet, consult with aposhark for free

[Sophie]

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

This one really made me laugh, i think because it definitely figures, lol
I bet you took her word for it, coming from a woman herself....
Anway, i'm sorry about your mother, but she sure was a very wise woman

Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

while the woman proceed to talk and pick up from where they left off

[aposhark]

while the woman proceed to talk and pick up from where they left off

Hi Sophie, we would say "Hello dear, I have to pop out, see you later" (another trip into the cave!, or is it we are cowards sometimes?)

[Mrs.JMajor]

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

Everytime I read your words, I always thought of my lovey dovey, when I am annoyed, he did that, he walk away quietly/politely (that I feel guilty) and if he know that I am calm, he will just give a big hug and asking if I am alright or still grumpy, you really mature and sensible person, Rochelyn will be very proud of you

[PAT]

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

My salute to your words of wisdom aposhark, will ask my fiance to help me look for that book.

[D&G]

"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".




Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

you certainly raised some good points

[jam07]

Hi Jam,

Just caught up on some posts.
Glad to see your bf and you are back in touch.

Now I don't know about every man, but when you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (referencing the experiences of many many relationship problems), men generally follow a pattern of "going into the cave" to reflect and sort out their predicaments.
I know I do.
Women generally like to talk all the time, men can shut off at times.

Don't worry too much, perhaps he will keep in touch for a long time, but do be prepared for his occasional silences.

Hi Aposhark yup i guess he's back... he texted me a while ago but I didnt reply. I'm still irritated at him... I am at the verge of breaking up with him but still I want to see if there will be some more developments... we'll see...

[Sophie]

he texted me a while ago but I didnt reply.

Yeah, give him a doze of his own medicine

[jam07]

Yeah, give him a doze of his own medicine

yup sophie! that's what I am planning to do

[Sophie]

yup sophie! that's what I am planning to do

you go girl