Good morning

[tomm]

That's Filipina for you, all over the place

Don't forget, a certain times of the month all women can lose the plot.

But apart from the tampo... how's the rest of the relationship?

[aromulus]

Your right, That is why I ask him, then if he fed up of me and I will just dis appear in the forum like Tawi then,

The Smilie at the end of that post "", means "joking"....

[Mrs.JMajor]

hey i think hes kidding with you mrsM!!

your not getting pikon are you?

Heh Mrs M, please don't get offended, sometimes it is easy for miscommunication between forum members, all is love and peace here, just you keep right on chatting

The Smilie at the end of that post "", means "joking"....

No worries Mod (Good Morning to you) I just love the way they (borna and scott) react

[trader dave]

i have sat here and read some ot this and i can relate with some of it ,my now wife is a normal young pilipina and jelious thats in there nature



to tell you straight i would not get married i would pack her back home tell her to grow up and enjoy your life

because believe me there are many many more who would love the chance to come to uk and have a loving ,caring husband get rid of her and go to the philippines and find another it is that easy

even if you ask on here i am sure members know of pilipinas who are looking for a lovely man to look after them and care for them

[Florge]

communication... talk it over.. tell her what you didn't liked with what she did, what you liked about her, and how you would prefer things to be and how you can make thing work between you... with the party incident, it clearly tells me she's a big time brat!

I was a big time brat myself! was being jealous and insecure at most times with my bf.. but we talked about it... agreed on certain "rules" on how we want to handle our relationship.. trusted each other... and talk why there's no need for a tampo... your fiancee may not be used to being straightforward so I suggest that you find time this weekend to talk about what you both feel about everything... and when you talk, come from a space of love, and you'll never go wrong with it.

Good luck!

[NtoN]

Aaawww...that's really awful! She has to think that it's not you that only needs adjusting (about her behaviour), but her too! She is in Britain now and she has to make an effort to fit-in as well.

I agree! Marriage is supposedly a lifetime commitment. Being through thick & thin is the greatest covenant you can give to each other. Attaining this entails a lot of sacrifice & understanding of each others differences. We all have unique personalities and coping from this requires a higher level of maturity. There are lots of possible factors affecting her behaviour (e.g. silent battle against homesickness, exposure to society, family upbringing, geographic & lifestyle change etc) and it would be unfair to her if you are not open about your sentiments towards it. It is always best to be honest no matter how difficult the circumstance is. It’s true that she’s already in Britain and she has to make an effort to fit in. Your fiancée needs a lot of growing. Make a reality check and if everything else fails, buy her a homebound ticket. Good luck! Keep the faith!

[NtoN]

Just want to quote a portion from one of my emails -

"Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that " It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river, than a person's character."

[aphrodite78]

there maybe an underlying issues i.e. is she preggy? or monthly period? do you make her feel secure / wanted? if not then i think you need to re-evaluate your relationship and whatever you choose stick with it and make it work. good luck

[Mrs Daddy]

It seems that the advice you have from my co forumers are divided but same as some of them said why not sit her down and talk to her about how you feel right now... coz as they said it might be the culture shock that affected her and the sudden change of sorroundings.It`s difficult if your girl not experienced being away from home.I must admit even if I had experienced being away for two years from my family before coming to UK to settle down I did still feel alone and lonely that time coz it`s not the thing we used to.But when I had my job and got friends here I feel at home and settling down alright.It took me awhile but somehow I surpassed all those troubles.I dearly Hope that you`ll surpass yours too.I am sad if both of you will not gonna make it to the altar but if somehow both of you think not to pursue the commitment is right,that will be sad on both of your part but you cant live a lie ,can you?.well,All the best my friend whatever it is you plan ahead!

[Tawi2]

Theres enough stable and decent ladies in the world to not waste time on one who sounds as if she has underlying issues,I have indeed known one or two and dropped them like a ton weight once their true character had revealed itself,life is short,you obviously have doubts as your airing them on a public forum,move on my friend while theres still time,I would never try and swim through lifes pool with a heavy stone tied around my neck

[tiN]

communication... talk it over.. tell her what you didn't liked with what she did, what you liked about her, and how you would prefer things to be and how you can make thing work between you... with the party incident, it clearly tells me she's a big time brat!

I was a big time brat myself! was being jealous and insecure at most times with my bf.. but we talked about it... agreed on certain "rules" on how we want to handle our relationship.. trusted each other... and talk why there's no need for a tampo... your fiancee may not be used to being straightforward so I suggest that you find time this weekend to talk about what you both feel about everything... and when you talk, come from a space of love, and you'll never go wrong with it.

Good luck!

i totally agree with u sis.. communication is an important part of the relationship as other co-forumers said, talk to her.. she will not know that she's being a brat if u will not tell her? Be a honest to her how u feel, it seems like she's not only jealous, she is being selfish also.. in a relationship u should give and take to each other.. u just cant give and give..

welcome here and goodluck

[Grievous Angel]

Good afternoon, and an update, as the days have gone by, and I certainly don’t want to be viewed
as a “one-post wonder”( I see how other’s are treated LOL).

I appreciate the comments posted, and as I asked for comments/thoughts, I’m not really in a position
to now criticize, but I’m certainly not comfortable with the “there’s many more fish in the sea”, or the
“throw that one back, there’s always another swimming passed” thoughts.

If that was/is the attitude, it’s no wonder so many relationships fail. The idea that, if someone doesn’t
bend to your will, or fit your ideals…. then it’s a case of “well, I guess I’ll find someone else” is abhorrent
to me. We might as well live in a “Stepford Wives” society.
A real relationship is about two people in a true partnership, both loving each other through the good
times & bad times, the highs and the lows …. and not for any other reason.

Anyway….. we’ve talked & talked, cried & laughed….. and we’ve decided to move forward TOGETHER,
hand-in-hand.
As the song goes … “for deep inside his heart he knew she was the only one”… I think applies to
both of us.

We’ve been honest with each other, perhaps even hurtful on the things we’ve said … but we are now
closer than ever.
I’ve even learned things about myself (from her point of view) which I wasn’t aware of ….as we are all
too aware, there are always two sides to every story.
She has opened up to me…. her fears, her apprehension, her worries…. And we’ve either addressed them
all, or are in the process of.

So …. once again, my thanks to ALL that commented.
(The more negative ones actually spurred me into a frame of mind to be even more determined that this
would work).

Take care one & all.



“Twenty thousand roads I went down, down, down
And they all lead me straight back home to you”

[bornatbirth]

its good that you talked and didnt give up!

im sure after you say you love her and reassure her that she will relax and calm down but that doesnt mean you can carry on life acting like your single,you need to make sure in everything that you do she comes first!!

it took a while for my wife to adjust being here and leaving her life and family.

[tiN]

Good afternoon, and an update, as the days have gone by, and I certainly don’t want to be viewed
as a “one-post wonder”( I see how other’s are treated LOL).

I appreciate the comments posted, and as I asked for comments/thoughts, I’m not really in a position
to now criticize, but I’m certainly not comfortable with the “there’s many more fish in the sea”, or the
“throw that one back, there’s always another swimming passed” thoughts.

If that was/is the attitude, it’s no wonder so many relationships fail. The idea that, if someone doesn’t
bend to your will, or fit your ideals…. then it’s a case of “well, I guess I’ll find someone else” is abhorrent
to me. We might as well live in a “Stepford Wives” society.
A real relationship is about two people in a true partnership, both loving each other through the good
times & bad times, the highs and the lows …. and not for any other reason. [/B]

Anyway….. we’ve talked & talked, cried & laughed….. and we’ve decided to move forward TOGETHER,
hand-in-hand.
As the song goes … “for deep inside his heart he knew she was the only one”… I think applies to
both of us.

We’ve been honest with each other, perhaps even hurtful on the things we’ve said … but we are now
closer than ever.
I’ve even learned things about myself (from her point of view) which I wasn’t aware of ….as we are all
too aware, there are always two sides to every story.
She has opened up to me…. her fears, her apprehension, her worries…. And we’ve either addressed them
all, or are in the process of.

So …. once again, my thanks to ALL that commented.
(The more negative ones actually spurred me into a frame of mind to be even more determined that this
would work).

Take care one & all.

agree with u..

its good that u talked and all sorted

I've been married for almost 3 years now but once in a while we have a heart to heart talk also which i think is a very good thing, being honest and truthful to each other

All I can say is goodluck on ur upcoming wedding

[Sophie]

Good afternoon, and an update, as the days have gone by, and I certainly don’t want to be viewed
as a “one-post wonder”( I see how other’s are treated LOL).

I appreciate the comments posted, and as I asked for comments/thoughts, I’m not really in a position
to now criticize, but I’m certainly not comfortable with the “there’s many more fish in the sea”, or the
“throw that one back, there’s always another swimming passed” thoughts.

If that was/is the attitude, it’s no wonder so many relationships fail. The idea that, if someone doesn’t
bend to your will, or fit your ideals…. then it’s a case of “well, I guess I’ll find someone else” is abhorrent
to me. We might as well live in a “Stepford Wives” society.
A real relationship is about two people in a true partnership, both loving each other through the good
times & bad times, the highs and the lows …. and not for any other reason.

Anyway….. we’ve talked & talked, cried & laughed….. and we’ve decided to move forward TOGETHER,
hand-in-hand.
As the song goes … “for deep inside his heart he knew she was the only one”… I think applies to
both of us.

We’ve been honest with each other, perhaps even hurtful on the things we’ve said … but we are now
closer than ever.
I’ve even learned things about myself (from her point of view) which I wasn’t aware of ….as we are all
too aware, there are always two sides to every story.
She has opened up to me…. her fears, her apprehension, her worries…. And we’ve either addressed them
all, or are in the process of.

So …. once again, my thanks to ALL that commented.
(The more negative ones actually spurred me into a frame of mind to be even more determined that this
would work).

Take care one & all.



“Twenty thousand roads I went down, down, down
And they all lead me straight back home to you”

Good for you grievous angel
I'ts great you were able to sort things out with your gf and that you are doing better now
after talking and opening up to each other more about your feelings....
I hope this is the beginning of a great and wonderful future ahead for the both of you...

And i commend you for being so patient with your gf and loving her unconditionally....
and sticking by her and fighting for her even at her worst...that is so admirable of you....
your gf is so lucky to have you and hopefully she already realized that....
Best of luck to you both....

[Jay&Zobel]

Take care one & all.

“Twenty thousand roads I went down, down, down
And they all lead me straight back home to you”

Awww... take care then and all the best Mate!

[Florge]

whooopppiiiii... see! Communication is the key... take it from someone who's overly jealous and insecure... and so glad that my bf didn't opt to leave me and look for another fish swimming by... LOL...

tears and laughter are a good combination... at least now, you are sure that your fiancee is a loving, kind-hearted girl after all... best wishes to you and more laughters to come!