Good morning

[Jay&Zobel]

... and many things to ponder on.

Mrs JMajor .... we do EVERYTHING together, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Re; the dinner ... it was a BUSINESS (work) dinner, with colleagues I see only 3-4 times a year. I'd already postponed it twice .... and no others brought their wives or girlfriends. It was over by 9.30ish, and that was why I'd suggested she meet me afterwards at the restaurant.

Lets try another example ....
I was invited to a Wedding Anniversity party. The invite arrived in the post with my name on it many, many months ago.
"Why isn't my name on it ?"
"Because they are not aware of you... it's someone i see very rarely, so are unaware that you and I are a couple. They,ve always known me as single. But I've called them up and told them I'm bringing you"
"I'm not going unless my name is on the invitation"
.... so I got them to send a new invitation.
The night of the party....
I explained that knowing the people & where it was held, and the "style" of the invite, the women would be wearing long / cocktail dresses and the men, suits.
"I'm wearing jeans"
"If that's what you want, feel comfortable in.... but all the other women will be wearing a dress, and you'll be the odd-one-out"
"I'm wearing jeans... not interested in what they are wearing"
So, I also dress down , hang the suit back up in the wardrobe.

We arrive.....
"All the women are wearing dresses..... I totally stand out"
"Darling, I told you, I explained this"
"Well, you should have INSISTED on me wearing a dress, you should have DEMANDED it..... well. I'm not staying. You can if you want... I'll sit and wait in the car"
So I gave my apologies to the host/hostess and left.


I'll put up with lots of things .... I appreciate the "transition" is difficult, and I'm always there with a smile, a kiss, support, a hug .....
.... but it's so so difficult

Neither of us are "teenagers", just setting out in the world...... there are 5yrs between our ages.

Aaawww...that's really awful! She has to think that it's not you that only needs adjusting (about her behaviour), but her too! She is in Britain now and she has to make an effort to fit-in as well.

I'm really sorry... I hate to think this, but was/is she just after the visa? citizenship?

[NtoN]

Aaawww...that's really awful! She has to think that it's not you that only needs adjusting (about her behaviour), but her too! She is in Britain now and she has to make an effort to fit-in as well.

I agree! Marriage is supposedly a lifetime commitment. Being through thick & thin is the greatest covenant you can give to each other. Attaining this entails a lot of sacrifice & understanding of each others differences. We all have unique personalities and coping from this requires a higher level of maturity. There are lots of possible factors affecting her behaviour (e.g. silent battle against homesickness, exposure to society, family upbringing, geographic & lifestyle change etc) and it would be unfair to her if you are not open about your sentiments towards it. It is always best to be honest no matter how difficult the circumstance is. It’s true that she’s already in Britain and she has to make an effort to fit in. Your fiancée needs a lot of growing. Make a reality check and if everything else fails, buy her a homebound ticket. Good luck! Keep the faith!