How do you balance your holiday in Phils

[IainBusby]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

[maria_and_matt]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

yes and no... yes because your wife only sees her family once a year, and no coz its is your annual holiday so you are expected to want that.

what we do is we take my mom with us all the time, when we go to resorts we also take with us some cousins so my son has kiddies to play with. treat her parents to a trip in bohol she would like that...

[adam&chryss]

you know that she's been away from her family for a long time and when you visit PI, she'll take all the oppurtunity to be with them so you really can't blame her for that.

if you want a holiday just for you, maybe best try to visit other country instead after visiting PI i guess

[ca143]

you know that she's been away from her family for a long time and when you visit PI, she'll take all the oppurtunity to be with them so you really can't blame her for that.

if you want a holiday just for you, maybe best try to visit other country instead after visiting PI i guess

200% correct

[IainBusby]

yes and no... yes because your wife only sees her family once a year, and no coz its is your annual holiday so you are expected to want that.

what we do is we take my mom with us all the time, when we go to resorts we also take with us some cousins so my son has kiddies to play with. treat her parents to a trip in bohol she would like that...

I'm afraid that finacially that sort of thing is out of the question at the moment, It's going to be a struggle to afford a decent holiday just for my wife, step-daughter and myself as come September we will be applying for citizenship for them both which is probably going to cost about £1200.

To be honest, the fact it's going to be a struggle finacially is another good reason for going somewhere else, because as is usually the case, so much is expected by so many when we go there.

Iain.

[IainBusby]

I've even mentioned going to Thailand or Malaysia instead, which didn't go down too well, but I'd prefer to go to Phils really because English is more widely spoken.
Iain.

[maria_and_matt]

I've even mentioned going to Thailand or Malaysia instead, which didn't go down too well, but I'd prefer to go to Phils really because English is more widely spoken.
Iain.

hmmm thats too close to home.....

[maria_and_matt]

I'm afraid that finacially that sort of thing is out of the question at the moment, It's going to be a struggle to afford a decent holiday just for my wife, step-daughter and myself as come September we will be applying for citizenship for them both which is probably going to cost about £1200.

To be honest, the fact it's going to be a struggle finacially is another good reason for going somewhere else, because as is usually the case, so much is expected by so many when we go there also.

Iain.

yes, if financially it would be a little tight it is best to go elsewhere for now. try a european holiday, or even here in the uk.. go to spain and enjoy the sun .... dont feel too guilty about wanting to be in a resort with a pool to relax, you work all year here you too deserve a good holiday . when we are back home and when my familys 'crowding' gets a little too much, i take my husband and son on a boat to Iloilo just for a day, so we can have quality time together as a family.

[Florge]

I'm afraid that finacially that sort of thing is out of the question at the moment, It's going to be a struggle to afford a decent holiday just for my wife, step-daughter and myself as come September we will be applying for citizenship for them both which is probably going to cost about £1200.

To be honest, the fact it's going to be a struggle finacially is another good reason for going somewhere else, because as is usually the case, so much is expected by so many when we go there.

Iain.

Better to tell her about it... I know she'll understand why there would be a slight change of your Pinas visit...

[pennybarry]

I'm panic! All I know is I want to stay beside my Mom
Little kiddie nieces and nephews teasing me for jollybee, SM
They want swimming every weekend
Everyday fiesta at farm.

I'm panic now making some more money lol. Have only few weeks to go!

[Tish]

I don't think you're being mean or unfair at all Iain. We are in the same predicament as yours when we go to Phils.

I don't think going to Phils is a holiday, as everytime I get back here I'd end up needing/wanting a break

Going to Phils for me is just visiting family and I find it very hard to find the right balance. I always get this feeling that my family just want me/us all to themselves! And whenever I mentioned about going somewhere without them, they'd all end up making me feel guilty!

I've tried explaining to them that we work all the time, and that we need to have a break (meaning going somewhere and relaxing just us!), and without having to drag the entire family!

So in the end, I'd end up going to Phils just by myself, and hubby staying behind to look after the kids here, which is not fair on him as he needs a break too

Tish

[maria_and_matt]

I don't think you're being mean or unfair at all Iain. We are in the same predicament as yours when we go to Phils.

I don't think going to Phils is a holiday, as everytime I get back here I'd end up needing/wanting a break

Going to Phils for me is just visiting family and I find it very hard to find the right balance. I always get this feeling that my family just want me/us all to themselves! And whenever I mentioned about going somewhere without them, they'd all end up making me feel guilty!

I've tried explaining to them that we work all the time, and that we need to have a break (meaning going somewhere and relaxing just us!), and without having to drag the entire family!

So in the end, I'd end up going to Phils just by myself, and hubby staying behind to look after the kids here, which is not fair on him as he needs a break too

Tish

maybe its just me but i wouldnt want to go on holiday without my husband or my son...

[Tish]

maybe its just me but i wouldnt want to go on holiday without my husband or my son...

Don't get me wrong here, I didn't like going away without them either
Quite a lot of my co-filipinas where I live tend to give me the raise brow on this matter as well, but I have to find ways of making visiting Phils situation more practical, and this was the only solution we can both agree on.

And still, I don't find it easier either, as I'd end up coming back to work still tired/worn out and needing a holiday

Tish

[IainBusby]

I don't think you're being mean or unfair at all Iain. We are in the same predicament as yours when we go to Phils.

I don't think going to Phils is a holiday, as everytime I get back here I'd end up needing/wanting a break

Going to Phils for me is just visiting family and I find it very hard to find the right balance. I always get this feeling that my family just want me/us all to themselves! And whenever I mentioned about going somewhere without them, they'd all end up making me feel guilty!

I've tried explaining to them that we work all the time, and that we need to have a break (meaning going somewhere and relaxing just us!), and without having to drag the entire family!

So in the end, I'd end up going to Phils just by myself, and hubby staying behind to look after the kids here, which is not fair on him as he needs a break too

Tish

Precisely! Thats what I mean, I'd like to go there just for a real holiday.

Iain.

[Tish]

Precisely! Thats what I mean, I'd like to go there just for a real holiday.

Iain.

It is so difficult to be able to do just that Iain

We're all hoping to go back next year, but hubby and kids dreading it already

So we might not go there next year now, as we're talking of going somewhere else instead

Tish

[IainBusby]

It is so difficult to be able to do just that Iain

We're all hoping to go back next year, but hubby and kids dreading it already

So we might not go there next year now, as we're talking of going somewhere else instead

Tish

I wouldn't mind if my wife were a little more understanding of my feelings on the matter. I mean, I've gone through that routine 3 times and I'd be happy to go along with her wishes and do it again in the future, maybe next year, because I know it's important for my wife, but this time I'd really like to see some more of the Philippines and have a relaxing holiday as well.

Iain.

[Tish]

I wouldn't mind if my wife were a little more understanding of my feelings on the matter. I mean, I've gone through that routine 3 times and I'd be happy to go along with her wishes and do it again in the future, maybe next year, because I know it's important for my wife, but this time I'd really like to see some more of the Philippines and have a relaxing holiday as well.

Iain.

Hubby and kids just don't want to go back to Phils now, and I don't blame them as they're not really getting that 'well deserve break' whenever we're there, because in the past, we just tend to spend all the time with the family

It is important for me to visit my family too, hence going back to Phils just by myself as all of us going together cost a fortune But when you're doing it too often, I'm now worn out too

Tish

[Ping]

Its cheaper if you go to America.You can do whatever you want and its nearer.

[Tish]

Its cheaper if you go to America.You can do whatever you want and its nearer.

I'm actually considering it Boss. In fact, I've suggested to go to Las Vegas in the festive season as I'm off work for two weeks, but kids and hubby prefers christmas here

Can't please them all

Tish

[Mrs Daddy]

Its cheaper if you go to America.You can do whatever you want and its nearer.

yezzzz that`s what ate ping told me today btw thanks very much for such a very warm welcome and very lovely food ate ping and Boss keith.Am getting too fat now food, food, food how can I resist

[trader dave]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

just tell her you are going away with the boys to bangkok for a little r and r whist she does the family thing that suggestion should stir some emotion

[trader dave]

i understand exactly were you are coming from because with my first filipina wife it used to be the same as you meet family go here go there the same old routine in the end i went to a resort on my own because i was fed up

the trouble was that was the beginning of the end of that marriage because i was a naughty boy nevermind life goes on but my new wife has a better understanding of what a guy needs and she has no family

[darren-b]

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

I don't think you are being unfair not wanting to spend all your holiday in that way, though you do need to work out the right balance. As we don't go to the Philippines every year we do spend more than a few days with my wife's family, but part of our trip is arranged to be a real holiday.

[Tiggers0608]

I don't think ur being mean of unfair too ....

but for us filipina , our holiday is to see our family and spend time with them as we only see them a year or two , and u guys ur holiday is too relax and have fun and also away from stress and relatives that stressed you lol, and yes i know its hard to do both of them we had the same problem when we last visit the phils last may.

so maybe next year, i don't know if philippines is still on the list of holiday destination or maybe no holiday at all for next year

well good luck ian, just get ready for the tampo

[flomike]

Everytime we go home to Phils I am having a hard time to balance visiting my family. We usually stay either in Manila or Makati hotel then almost everyday travelling to Laguna (San Pedro) its really a nightmare. Spending almost half day sitting in a traffic then need to go back again about 8 in the evening at the hotel, its so tiring I can't bring my parents to the hotel with us bec my mother is dependent on oxygen and my father don't like aircon.

This coming Dec we're going back after 2 years and I have a plan to rent a condo for a week atleast 2 bedroom so my father can stay with us (my mother is not with us anymore) then my siblings can visit us there anytime or stay for a night. My siblings lives in diff places, I am not prepared to visit them coz its time consuming.

Me and my husband usually have atleast 2 weeks to go around and enjoy our holiday together. Ofcourse, sometimes I feel guilty that I don't spend much time with family the fact that I don't see them every 2 years. I think the only advantage I've got is I have no relatives to visit except my family and my siblings usually working on week days so I'll try to leave the weekends free so we can see each other and treat them for a dine out and their kids.

I can't wait to go home and we are going to Bohol for a week and some places near Manila.

[fred]

Iain if I were you Id just forget about coming here for a quiet holiday..Even if you persuade her to do it your way she will give you constant grief knowing that her family are so close but yet so very far away..
Most filipino`s idea of vacation/holiday is nothing like ours and most of them simply don't go on holiday unless its to visit relatives,eat and drink a lot and blow their cash.(so that the neighbours can see)
The Philippine holiday experience is for young single people ...
not for those married to a Filipino.
Go to Spain nalang!!
Viva Espana.

[maria_and_matt]

Iain if I were you Id just forget about coming here for a quiet holiday..Even if you persuade her to do it your way she will give you constant grief knowing that her family are so close but yet so very far away..
Most filipino`s idea of vacation/holiday is nothing like ours and most of them simply don't go on holiday unless its to visit relatives,eat and drink a lot and blow their cash.(so that the neighbours can see)
The Philippine holiday experience is for young single people ...
not for those married to a Filipino.
Go to Spain nalang!!
Viva Espana.

who cares about the neigbours? is that how u see us filipinas when we go back home? out to impress neighbours???

and of course when we go backhome we want to see family, andyes we want to eat food that we have not eaten in probably a year..

[pennybarry]

Iain if I were you Id just forget about coming here for a quiet holiday..Even if you persuade her to do it your way she will give you constant grief knowing that her family are so close but yet so very far away..
Most filipino`s idea of vacation/holiday is nothing like ours and most of them simply don't go on holiday unless its to visit relatives,eat and drink a lot and blow their cash.(so that the neighbours can see)
The Philippine holiday experience is for young single people ...
not for those married to a Filipino.
Go to Spain nalang!!
Viva Espana.

who cares about the neigbours? is that how u see us filipinas when we go back home? out to impress neighbours???

and of course when we go backhome we want to see family, andyes we want to eat food that we have not eaten in probably a year..

Ahahahah I cannot impress my neighbors as my house is surrounded by big houses. Three storey houses with swimming pool.Mine is the smallest and I'm the poorest

I said I envy you neighbors! I can't reach you!!! They said if you build yours, it maybe 4 storeys 2 hopes. No hope and Bob Hope

The real reason is only one. To visit my family and friends.

[vbkelly]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

i do feel its a bit unfair of you for to expect louella and mary to travel 3/4 quarter around the world to go on holiday and not spend sometime with YOUR other family being married to pinay lady you have to take the rough with the smooth unfortunately.

[IainBusby]

i do feel its a bit unfair of you for to expect louella and mary to travel 3/4 quarter around the world to go on holiday and not spend sometime with YOUR other family being married to pinay lady you have to take the rough with the smooth unfortunately.

I've been there and done that 3 times already, but this time I'd really like to do something different as the only part of Phils that I've seen is CDO. Then I won't really mind if we do that same routine again the next three times we go to Phils, so I think I am being more than fair.

Iain.