How do you balance your holiday in Phils

[IainBusby]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

[maria_and_matt]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

yes and no... yes because your wife only sees her family once a year, and no coz its is your annual holiday so you are expected to want that.

what we do is we take my mom with us all the time, when we go to resorts we also take with us some cousins so my son has kiddies to play with. treat her parents to a trip in bohol she would like that...

[adam&chryss]

you know that she's been away from her family for a long time and when you visit PI, she'll take all the oppurtunity to be with them so you really can't blame her for that.

if you want a holiday just for you, maybe best try to visit other country instead after visiting PI i guess

[ca143]

you know that she's been away from her family for a long time and when you visit PI, she'll take all the oppurtunity to be with them so you really can't blame her for that.

if you want a holiday just for you, maybe best try to visit other country instead after visiting PI i guess

200% correct

[pennybarry]

I'm panic! All I know is I want to stay beside my Mom
Little kiddie nieces and nephews teasing me for jollybee, SM
They want swimming every weekend
Everyday fiesta at farm.

I'm panic now making some more money lol. Have only few weeks to go!

[IainBusby]

yes and no... yes because your wife only sees her family once a year, and no coz its is your annual holiday so you are expected to want that.

what we do is we take my mom with us all the time, when we go to resorts we also take with us some cousins so my son has kiddies to play with. treat her parents to a trip in bohol she would like that...

I'm afraid that finacially that sort of thing is out of the question at the moment, It's going to be a struggle to afford a decent holiday just for my wife, step-daughter and myself as come September we will be applying for citizenship for them both which is probably going to cost about £1200.

To be honest, the fact it's going to be a struggle finacially is another good reason for going somewhere else, because as is usually the case, so much is expected by so many when we go there.

Iain.

[IainBusby]

I've even mentioned going to Thailand or Malaysia instead, which didn't go down too well, but I'd prefer to go to Phils really because English is more widely spoken.
Iain.

[maria_and_matt]

I'm afraid that finacially that sort of thing is out of the question at the moment, It's going to be a struggle to afford a decent holiday just for my wife, step-daughter and myself as come September we will be applying for citizenship for them both which is probably going to cost about £1200.

To be honest, the fact it's going to be a struggle finacially is another good reason for going somewhere else, because as is usually the case, so much is expected by so many when we go there also.

Iain.

yes, if financially it would be a little tight it is best to go elsewhere for now. try a european holiday, or even here in the uk.. go to spain and enjoy the sun .... dont feel too guilty about wanting to be in a resort with a pool to relax, you work all year here you too deserve a good holiday . when we are back home and when my familys 'crowding' gets a little too much, i take my husband and son on a boat to Iloilo just for a day, so we can have quality time together as a family.

[Tish]

I don't think you're being mean or unfair at all Iain. We are in the same predicament as yours when we go to Phils.

I don't think going to Phils is a holiday, as everytime I get back here I'd end up needing/wanting a break

Going to Phils for me is just visiting family and I find it very hard to find the right balance. I always get this feeling that my family just want me/us all to themselves! And whenever I mentioned about going somewhere without them, they'd all end up making me feel guilty!

I've tried explaining to them that we work all the time, and that we need to have a break (meaning going somewhere and relaxing just us!), and without having to drag the entire family!

So in the end, I'd end up going to Phils just by myself, and hubby staying behind to look after the kids here, which is not fair on him as he needs a break too

Tish

[maria_and_matt]

I've even mentioned going to Thailand or Malaysia instead, which didn't go down too well, but I'd prefer to go to Phils really because English is more widely spoken.
Iain.

hmmm thats too close to home.....

[maria_and_matt]

I don't think you're being mean or unfair at all Iain. We are in the same predicament as yours when we go to Phils.

I don't think going to Phils is a holiday, as everytime I get back here I'd end up needing/wanting a break

Going to Phils for me is just visiting family and I find it very hard to find the right balance. I always get this feeling that my family just want me/us all to themselves! And whenever I mentioned about going somewhere without them, they'd all end up making me feel guilty!

I've tried explaining to them that we work all the time, and that we need to have a break (meaning going somewhere and relaxing just us!), and without having to drag the entire family!

So in the end, I'd end up going to Phils just by myself, and hubby staying behind to look after the kids here, which is not fair on him as he needs a break too

Tish

maybe its just me but i wouldnt want to go on holiday without my husband or my son...

[IainBusby]

I don't think you're being mean or unfair at all Iain. We are in the same predicament as yours when we go to Phils.

I don't think going to Phils is a holiday, as everytime I get back here I'd end up needing/wanting a break

Going to Phils for me is just visiting family and I find it very hard to find the right balance. I always get this feeling that my family just want me/us all to themselves! And whenever I mentioned about going somewhere without them, they'd all end up making me feel guilty!

I've tried explaining to them that we work all the time, and that we need to have a break (meaning going somewhere and relaxing just us!), and without having to drag the entire family!

So in the end, I'd end up going to Phils just by myself, and hubby staying behind to look after the kids here, which is not fair on him as he needs a break too

Tish

Precisely! Thats what I mean, I'd like to go there just for a real holiday.

Iain.

[Tish]

maybe its just me but i wouldnt want to go on holiday without my husband or my son...

Don't get me wrong here, I didn't like going away without them either
Quite a lot of my co-filipinas where I live tend to give me the raise brow on this matter as well, but I have to find ways of making visiting Phils situation more practical, and this was the only solution we can both agree on.

And still, I don't find it easier either, as I'd end up coming back to work still tired/worn out and needing a holiday

Tish

[Tish]

Precisely! Thats what I mean, I'd like to go there just for a real holiday.

Iain.

It is so difficult to be able to do just that Iain

We're all hoping to go back next year, but hubby and kids dreading it already

So we might not go there next year now, as we're talking of going somewhere else instead

Tish

[IainBusby]

It is so difficult to be able to do just that Iain

We're all hoping to go back next year, but hubby and kids dreading it already

So we might not go there next year now, as we're talking of going somewhere else instead

Tish

I wouldn't mind if my wife were a little more understanding of my feelings on the matter. I mean, I've gone through that routine 3 times and I'd be happy to go along with her wishes and do it again in the future, maybe next year, because I know it's important for my wife, but this time I'd really like to see some more of the Philippines and have a relaxing holiday as well.

Iain.

[Tish]

I wouldn't mind if my wife were a little more understanding of my feelings on the matter. I mean, I've gone through that routine 3 times and I'd be happy to go along with her wishes and do it again in the future, maybe next year, because I know it's important for my wife, but this time I'd really like to see some more of the Philippines and have a relaxing holiday as well.

Iain.

Hubby and kids just don't want to go back to Phils now, and I don't blame them as they're not really getting that 'well deserve break' whenever we're there, because in the past, we just tend to spend all the time with the family

It is important for me to visit my family too, hence going back to Phils just by myself as all of us going together cost a fortune But when you're doing it too often, I'm now worn out too

Tish

[maria_and_matt]

Hubby and kids just don't want to go back to Phils now, and I don't blame them as they're not really getting that 'well deserve break' whenever we're there, because in the past, we just tend to spend all the time with the family

It is important for me to visit my family too, hence going back to Phils just by myself as all of us going together cost a fortune But when you're doing it too often, I'm now worn out too

Tish

strange, when we go back it is me who feels my family is crowding us... my hubby especially my son loves it, they love it when we go malling or hit the arcades. my hubby normally just disappears with one of my brothers sightseeing, and we all would meet up at the end of the day for a big family dinner at the hotel.

when it turns to be unbearable (for me mostly) i take them both for an hour boat ride to iloilo where i can have my hubby and son all to myself....

[Tish]

If we can save enough, I suggested to do all sight seeing/holidaying first before heading to visit my family next year, but it would mean, only seeing them for the last few days of our holiday.

And I've no intention of informing my family on our immenent visit until the day before so no guilt trip whining in my ear

We just need to save the money now

Tish

[Tish]

strange, when we go back it is me who feels my family is crowding us... my hubby especially my son loves it, they love it when we go malling or hit the arcades. my hubby normally just disappears with one of my brothers sightseeing, and we all would meet up at the end of the day for a big family dinner at the hotel.

when it turns to be unbearable (for me mostly) i take them both for an hour boat ride to iloilo where i can have my hubby and son all to myself....

It's good that your husband and kids fits in really well with your family in PI. But it doesn't work for us though

And like you, I do feel that my family are crowding us at all time

Tish

[Ping]

Its cheaper if you go to America.You can do whatever you want and its nearer.

[maria_and_matt]

It's good that your husband and kids fits in really well with your family in PI. But it doesn't work for us though

And like you, I do feel that my family are crowding us at all time

Tish

it all gets too much after a week for me i miss my alone time

[Tish]

Its cheaper if you go to America.You can do whatever you want and its nearer.

I'm actually considering it Boss. In fact, I've suggested to go to Las Vegas in the festive season as I'm off work for two weeks, but kids and hubby prefers christmas here

Can't please them all

Tish

[Tish]

it all gets too much after a week for me i miss my alone time

Ditto

[trader dave]

I was just wondering how the other members on here manage to balance their Philippines holidays between visiting family and having a really good, get away from it all, stress free, unwinding holiday.

We're thinking of going to Phils again this year but we always end up arguing about it, because I told my wife that I don't want to go to CDO, where her folks live. I said I don't mind going there for a couple of days at the end of the holiday just to visit and see them.

This is because everytime I have been to Phils it's been the same routine, go to CDO and stay in a hotel in town, then visit her folks up in Bukidnon every couple of days, take the family out for meals in CDO etc and visit her other relatives away out in Balingasag about an hour and a half away from CDO.

The last time we were there we did manage to visit Duka Bay resort for a couple of days, but mostly it's just the same routine. My wife says I'm being selfish because I don't want to visit her family but it's not that, I would just like to have a really nice holiday in a resort hotel with a swimming pool and a beach nearby, somewhere like Bohol for instance.

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

just tell her you are going away with the boys to bangkok for a little r and r whist she does the family thing that suggestion should stir some emotion

[trader dave]

i understand exactly were you are coming from because with my first filipina wife it used to be the same as you meet family go here go there the same old routine in the end i went to a resort on my own because i was fed up

the trouble was that was the beginning of the end of that marriage because i was a naughty boy nevermind life goes on but my new wife has a better understanding of what a guy needs and she has no family

[darren-b]

Do you think I'm being mean or unfair in wanting this?

Iain.

I don't think you are being unfair not wanting to spend all your holiday in that way, though you do need to work out the right balance. As we don't go to the Philippines every year we do spend more than a few days with my wife's family, but part of our trip is arranged to be a real holiday.

[Tiggers0608]

I don't think ur being mean of unfair too ....

but for us filipina , our holiday is to see our family and spend time with them as we only see them a year or two , and u guys ur holiday is too relax and have fun and also away from stress and relatives that stressed you lol, and yes i know its hard to do both of them we had the same problem when we last visit the phils last may.

so maybe next year, i don't know if philippines is still on the list of holiday destination or maybe no holiday at all for next year

well good luck ian, just get ready for the tampo

[IainBusby]

If we can save enough, I suggested to do all sight seeing/holidaying first before heading to visit my family next year, but it would mean, only seeing them for the last few days of our holiday.

And I've no intention of informing my family on our immenent visit until the day before so no guilt trip whining in my ear

We just need to save the money now

Tish

Sounds like a great idea. That's more or less what I've suggested, but my wife thinks I'm being unfair and that I just don't wan't to spend time with her family, but to be honest, apart from the extra expense, when I'm on my "much longed for, once a year" annual holiday I wouldn't really want to spend all my time with my family either. I just want us to have a real get away from it all family holiday, just the three of us, my wife, Mary Grace and myself.

To be honest, if my wife and step-daughter already had british citizenship and passports to go with it, I think I would probably be looking at going somewhere other than Phils just to avoid the hassle of it all.

Iain.

[adam&chryss]

Sounds like a great idea. That's more or less what I've suggested, but my wife thinks I'm being unfair and that I just don't wan't to spend time with her family, but to be honest, apart from the extra expense, when I'm on my longed for once a year annual holiday I wouldn't really want to spend time with my family either. I just want us to have a real get away from it all family holiday, just the three of us, my wife, Mary Grace and myself.

To be honest, if my wife and step-daughter already had british citizenship and passports to go with it, I think I would probably be looking to go somewhere other than Phils just to avoid the hassle of it all.

Iain.

I completely understand your situation Iain. You want to unwind and relax after working hard and thats something you deserve isnt it.
Afetr all, if you`re like me you work for 6 days a week and are entitled to a holiday from that where you can get away from any stress.
If you go to Phil then i`m sure you`ll have to make trips here there and everywhere that arn`t of your choice.
From what I remember you`ll also pick up the tab for them!
So it`s like a double whammy. You can`t do what you want and also you`re paying for the privilege too
It`s a difficult situation and I dont know the answer.
Myabe once you`ve found a solution you could let me know cos i`m sure it`ll be happeneing to me in about 2 years time!
Adam

[scott&ligaya]

Hi Iain,
wow feel for you on that one mate, If Louella can get the time off why don't you do what we did. We both go for three weeks (2 weeks in Palawan at our place just us) then we all move to Pangasinan to the farm with her family and neighbours/friends. I stay one week and then leave Joshua and Ligaya for four more weeks. We did this in winter so they got seven weeks off the dark cold wet days. I am a little luckier than many guys as Ligaya had spent many years kliving away from home in Singapore and Hong Kong and is not quite so attached to home, in fact she likes to spend time with our friends in Hong Kong on the way there and back just as much.

good luck with finding a compromise