hi to all citizens of filipino uk forum

[bernice_sheila]

am a young woman age 24 i put to birth some 6 months ago i wish to place my son for adoption to any christian and financially viable family living in the UK.i guess you all will help me on how to carry on.

[KeithD]

Contact social services, or your local church.

[LadyJ]

First of all welcome to the forum.

Are you currently living in Phils? If yes:

In my opinion the UK government is encouraging those who wants to adopt to choose those childrens first who are in the waiting list or needs a new family within the UK.

So you're chance of gettting a new family from UK for your son is slim unless you knew a friend or relative who currently living here and happy to adopt your child.

Keep looking for info on the internet though and goodluck to you and your son.

[Arthur Little]

am a young woman age 24 i put to birth some 6 months ago i wish to place my son for adoption to any christian and financially viable family living in the UK.i guess you all will help me on how to carry on.

Welcome to the forum, Bernice/Sheila. First of all, forgive me for asking ... but are you absolutely CERTAIN - in your of s - you really WANT to give-up your son for adoption? It's a HUGE and, for the most part, IRREVERSIBLE step to take!

I stress this point because there may come a time later in life - perhaps when the child grows into adulthood [or maybe even earlier] - that you are filled with a fervent maternal longing to find out how he fared over the intervening years. And he could-well harbour an equally strong desire to meet his natural mother. But, if you are living at opposite ends of the globe from one another, this could prove extremely difficult for both of you.

So please, before you make any "rash" decisions that will influence the lives of two people - yours and your son's - forever, have a heart-to-heart discussion with your parish priest, and also talk to Social Services about the implications.

[GaryFifer]

This post makes me angry. As 2 people had a night of passion you and you boyfriend cannot be bothered now. So much for Filipino family culture.

Face up to responsibility&take care of your child.Money is not everything for what you need to take care of a child. I bet you have a big Filipino family. How did they all survive? Love&care and help from family.

You insult many hardworking Filipinos with your disgusting attitude.They sacrifice in life so kids can get a good life.Get of your ass and help you kid.

[winner]

well said gary2 jessica i would have said the same to

[Ana_may365]

This post makes me angry. As 2 people had a night of passion you and you boyfriend cannot be bothered now. So much for Filipino family culture.

Face up to responsibility&take care of your child.Money is not everything for what you need to take care of a child. I bet you have a big Filipino family. How did they all survive? Love&care and help from family.

You insult many hardworking Filipinos with your disgusting attitude.They sacrifice in life so kids can get a good life.Get of your ass and help you kid.

ur absolutely right there!like they say'gagawa gawa tpos di kayang panindigan!

[miss.piggy]

am a young woman age 24 i put to birth some 6 months ago i wish to place my son for adoption to any christian and financially viable family living in the UK.i guess you all will help me on how to carry on.

Hi Sheila,

I have a friend who is so pretty, so bubbly, and so smart -- but not so smart in choosing a guy for herself. She got pregnant when she was 23 and it was a huge problem because her parents didn't know about it, and her father is the most difficult person you would ever meet. She also found out the guy who got her pregnant was actually married. The guy suggested they abort the baby. She never spoke to him again.

She had no choice but to let her parents know -- all tablewares flying, there's swearing, etc., but her parents knew they also had no choice but to accept what happened and support their own child.

Three years after, my friend met another guy. He's single (for a change), but still not the right person for her. They've decided to get separated, and then she found out she's pregnant.

My friend is bringing up two kids on her own for the last 8 years. Her family has never supported them financially, but they were there to take care of the kids when she's at work.

I am telling you this story to make you realise that you are not and will never be the only single parent to raise a child on her own. If you do not have your family with you, I tell you, there is always, always someone who will be willing to help.

I don't know what your actual situation is aside from your being 24 years old and now have a 6-month old boy. The decision to put your child for adoption is not a joke, so you must be in an adverse position to come up with this idea. But as a mother of two beautiful kids myself, it's a bit sad that another mother somewhere is giving up on her own child. I know it's not an easy decision, so you may want to rethink this over again and no need to be hasty.

And may I suggest that instead of you thinking about how well your child would be with another parent or family, why not think of how well your child will be being with you as his biological parent? You may not be able to shower him with material things, but you can always give him an overwhelming love which is natural -- because you are his MOTHER.

[Tawi2]

Hi Sheila,

I have a friend who is so pretty, so bubbly, and so smart -- but not so smart in choosing a guy for herself. She got pregnant when she was 23 and it was a huge problem because her parents didn't know about it, and her father is the most difficult person you would ever meet. She also found out the guy who got her pregnant was actually married. The guy suggested they abort the baby. She never spoke to him again.

She had no choice but to let her parents know -- all tablewares flying, there's swearing, etc., but her parents knew they also had no choice but to accept what happened and support their own child.

Three years after, my friend met another guy. He's single (for a change), but still not the right person for her. They've decided to get separated, and then she found out she's pregnant.

My friend is bringing up two kids on her own for the last 8 years. Her family has never supported them financially, but they were there to take care of the kids when she's at work.

I am telling you this story to make you realise that you are not and will never be the only single parent to raise a child on her own. If you do not have your family with you, I tell you, there is always, always someone who will be willing to help.

I don't know what your actual situation is aside from your being 24 years old and now have a 6-month old boy. The decision to put your child for adoption is not a joke, so you must be in an adverse position to come up with this idea. But as a mother of two beautiful kids myself, it's a bit sad that another mother somewhere is giving up on her own child. I know it's not an easy decision, so you may want to rethink this over again and no need to be hasty.

And may I suggest that instead of you thinking about how well your child would be with another parent or family, why not think of how well your child will be being with you as his biological parent? You may not be able to shower him with material things, but you can always give him an overwhelming love which is natural -- because you are his MOTHER.

Piggy,can I just say your a true humanitarian,your husband must be very,very proud of you I read the other posts and was quite surprised,theres an old saying,never judge a person till you have walked a mile in their shoes,its probably taken a lot of guts for this young lady to sign-on and log-in,not one of us know what she is going through,or her circumstances,so not one of us can judge her,I felt her pain when I read her post,very,very sad,but I liked your response piggy I think you realise a little of the hardship of life,we cant obviously understand her motives,but you understand a little because of your vicarious experiences from your friend,I hope she resolves her problem,lifes hard sometimes,a little compassion goes a long way

[miss.piggy]

Thanks Tawi, I'm just being realistic. I was also surprised with a few responses to this post, but hey...

I don't condemn, because I have seen life in the Philippines. I can say my life is pretty boring compared to most people there -- I don't exactly have the colourful telenovela kind of life, but I was lead to listen to most people whose life experiences are second to impossibility. But their stories are only good because they fought, or atleast they tried. I hope Sheila would make her own story as good, whatever decision she might end up with.

[GaryFifer]

I condemn if she gives up. That is me! I do not give up. Remember that British attitude- we will never surrender. Well that i why we won the war and have so many hero like the guys in Colditz, Douglas Bader, Cromwell. Dr Bruce Hunt.

[Tawi2]

But thats the thing,she isnt a hero,she isnt a heroine,she is a young woman,probably a single parent mother,certainly facing mental turmoil and anguish over her circumstances,we are lucky in this country,we cant empathise with her plight because we have a cushion,a social network that will always support us,but we could spare a few kind words for a kid who is going through something most of us cant even imagine,maybe I am getting soft in my old age,but life isnt good for everyone in this world,just because our experiences dont mesh with hers doesnt mean we should be harsh in words,a little sympathy costs absolutely nothing

[charlwill]

Hi, Tawi2 lovely to see you again. Where have you been?

[joebloggs]

I read the other posts and was quite surprised,theres an old saying,never judge a person till you have walked a mile in their shoes

and that's if they even have a pair of shoes

at least she didn't have an abortion, but i would never give my kids up for adoption

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hey Tawi2 you're back!.... You can't leave your friends here...

To bernice shiela,
You're 24 and very young. I am deeply touched by your present predicament. Just wondering how you could be able to bear the pain and loneliness if your baby will be put to adoption. Pls think 1000 times before doing it. You'll never know when he grows up he will be someone to give sunshine to your life. Even now as a baby, he is a gift. You're lucky you had him, some people are dying to have a baby. I remember there was a filipina who gave birth to a daughter when she was only 18. She was still in the university and wanted to abort it for she was still very young, and not yet ready to start a family. Definitely her family was against it so she hid it from them. Her bf then and she decided to pursue her pregnancy against all odds. Now, their daughter has given so much to their family. In terms of love, care and she is someone to be proud of. You know what i mean...

I just hope you could sort this out. Just think of some girls who are younger than you but had fought the battles and were able to traverse the long path to a better life ahead. I know we are just here for advices and you're the one concerned and we don't know exactly what you've been through...
Wish you all the best... And hope you'll arrive at the right decision which will be good for both of you...

Take care..

BTW welcome to the forum!

[fred]

But thats the thing,she isnt a hero,she isnt a heroine,she is a young woman,probably a single parent mother,certainly facing mental turmoil and anguish over her circumstances,we are lucky in this country,we cant empathise with her plight because we have a cushion,a social network that will always support us,but we could spare a few kind words for a kid who is going through something most of us cant even imagine,maybe I am getting soft in my old age,but life isnt good for everyone in this world,just because our experiences dont mesh with hers doesnt mean we should be harsh in words,a little sympathy costs absolutely nothing

Very well said Sir!!!

(I still reckon this thread is a good ole fashioned wind up however)

[joebloggs]

Very well said Sir!!!

(I still reckon this thread is a good ole fashioned wind up however)

yes, maybe by someone who is bored and has nothing better to do, but sit under a plam tree all day

[Florge]

I condemn if she gives up. That is me! I do not give up. Remember that British attitude- we will never surrender. Well that i why we won the war and have so many hero like the guys in Colditz, Douglas Bader, Cromwell. Dr Bruce Hunt.

Maybe for her, giving up her son for adoption hoping that he will have a better life, is a heroic act for her... well, who are we to judge what's heroic or not... we simply do not know what she has been through or going through...

[Tiggers0608]

Hi Sheila,

I have a friend who is so pretty, so bubbly, and so smart -- but not so smart in choosing a guy for herself. She got pregnant when she was 23 and it was a huge problem because her parents didn't know about it, and her father is the most difficult person you would ever meet. She also found out the guy who got her pregnant was actually married. The guy suggested they abort the baby. She never spoke to him again.

She had no choice but to let her parents know -- all tablewares flying, there's swearing, etc., but her parents knew they also had no choice but to accept what happened and support their own child.

Three years after, my friend met another guy. He's single (for a change), but still not the right person for her. They've decided to get separated, and then she found out she's pregnant.

My friend is bringing up two kids on her own for the last 8 years. Her family has never supported them financially, but they were there to take care of the kids when she's at work.

I am telling you this story to make you realise that you are not and will never be the only single parent to raise a child on her own. If you do not have your family with you, I tell you, there is always, always someone who will be willing to help.

I don't know what your actual situation is aside from your being 24 years old and now have a 6-month old boy. The decision to put your child for adoption is not a joke, so you must be in an adverse position to come up with this idea. But as a mother of two beautiful kids myself, it's a bit sad that another mother somewhere is giving up on her own child. I know it's not an easy decision, so you may want to rethink this over again and no need to be hasty.

And may I suggest that instead of you thinking about how well your child would be with another parent or family, why not think of how well your child will be being with you as his biological parent? You may not be able to shower him with material things, but you can always give him an overwhelming love which is natural -- because you are his MOTHER.

hi miss piggy just curious about ur friend, coz i have a friend who's in the same situation as in and her eldest is 8.yo the youngest one is 3y.o. , her family in watching her kids bcoz she's working hard.

and about bernice_sheila why do u want ur child to be adopt by a family in UK? are u in the phils? won't u miss him if he gets adopted? coz in my opinion only ok, i would rather be with my child and work hard than thinking of whats happening or whats going on with him.

i have lots of friends who got pregnant and the guy ran away without any traced but my friends are working hard for their kids, some of them even work in other country to give a good future to their kids.

i'm not against you in putting ur child for adoption but its only my point of view and a view as mother also hope i didnt step on someones point of view again

[miss.piggy]

[QUOTE=Tiggers0608;151113] hi miss piggy just curious about ur friend, coz i have a friend who's in the same situation as in and her eldest is 8.yo the youngest one is 3y.o. , her family in watching her kids bcoz she's working hard. QUOTE]

Hi Tiggers0608,

Hmmm...my friend is now working in Singapore, while her parents take care of her 8 and 3 year old girls in the Philippines.

[pennybarry]

I wish you're my sister ehehhehe I said I want to adopt your boy if I got settled in UK. She is alright but I can feel her loneliness everytime I mentioned so I just help her son for the meantime.
But my other nieces who were finished their course, their Moms(my sis) forcing me to adopt their nurses daughters. They said, they are all yours now as they finished their courses already I said they're all above 18

One time I was watching Reporters notebook and there was little girl who wants to be adopted by someone. No more parents just living with his grandad who is dying It was heartbreaking as she walks 7 miles everyday to go to school, she lives in the highland. I sent email to Reporters Notebook and got reply. She's under DSWD and accepting financial help.

[irobot]

Irobot...." Sunny... Different From The Rest... "

Hi There, bernice_sheila ... Welcome to the forum...

[aphrodite78]

hi bernice_shiela,

welcome to the forum. i do understand your situation, we may have the same or different situation but i am here not to judge you. i got pregnant at 21 y.o. to a man i thought will be my first and last. it was very difficult at that time because all of a sudden a big responsibility landed on my lap i don't know what to do because he rarely showed himself and of course at that time i was naive, too much in love i went along with him with his stories. to cut the story short we parted ways because i learned that our marriage was bigamous so he just disappeared.

i kept on asking myself what is life really all about, life is crap until i met my british husband then he was still crap because he assaulted me, good thing my kids we're not with me that time, and then third time lucky my fiance now came along, accepted me and my kids and even willing to adopt them and now life is really good. now i keep on pinching myself and thinking sometimes this is going to end soon but four years on our relationship is still going strong. to top it all we are going to get married this august and we are going to celebrate it in the phils next year.

but it's your life it's your call, i was just citing myself as an example and it may or it may not affect your decision, all i can say is life can be really hard and tough but like what they said god will always provide, there will always be a lifeline waiting and lying around. if you could live on the decision that you are going to make and live without any regrets nor any resentment with the decision you are going make then go for it. all i can say is if you can ride out this storm you are going through you will come out really strong at the end of it. keep strong and god bless.

[Happy_Now]

It was sad that our governemnt is not good as the UK government. If you are only here young lady, being a single parent is not difficult in the Uk. The government will take care both of you. The more you have baby, the more money coming in. Thats why many couples didnt bother to get marry because they want to be as single parent
where infact in the Philippines if you become pregnant being single, "it was a disgrace of the family"... We cannot blame this young lady to give away her child. Maybe she had good reason but i agree with others, think very hard "ading".... I become a widow at the age of 32 with 4 kids on my shoulder without support from government or any benifits but i Praise God, my kids become very very proud of me, they love me and i love them so much
I wish and pray you can think very carefully. God bless

[beppe]

This post makes me angry. As 2 people had a night of passion you and you boyfriend cannot be bothered now. So much for Filipino family culture.

Face up to responsibility&take care of your child.Money is not everything for what you need to take care of a child. I bet you have a big Filipino family. How did they all survive? Love&care and help from family.

You insult many hardworking Filipinos with your disgusting attitude.They sacrifice in life so kids can get a good life.Get of your ass and help you kid.

Everybody can make mistakes, sometimes solidarity suits better than judgment.

[beppe]

am a young woman age 24 i put to birth some 6 months ago i wish to place my son for adoption to any christian and financially viable family living in the UK.i guess you all will help me on how to carry on.

See if this link is of any help:

http://www.dswd.gov.ph/search.php?cx...sa=Search#1020

[Florge]

hi bernice_shiela,

welcome to the forum. i do understand your situation, we may have the same or different situation but i am here not to judge you. i got pregnant at 21 y.o. to a man i thought will be my first and last. it was very difficult at that time because all of a sudden a big responsibility landed on my lap i don't know what to do because he rarely showed himself and of course at that time i was naive, too much in love i went along with him with his stories. to cut the story short we parted ways because i learned that our marriage was bigamous so he just disappeared.

i kept on asking myself what is life really all about, life is crap until i met my british husband then he was still crap because he assaulted me, good thing my kids we're not with me that time, and then third time lucky my fiance now came along, accepted me and my kids and even willing to adopt them and now life is really good. now i keep on pinching myself and thinking sometimes this is going to end soon but four years on our relationship is still going strong. to top it all we are going to get married this august and we are going to celebrate it in the phils next year.

but it's your life it's your call, i was just citing myself as an example and it may or it may not affect your decision, all i can say is life can be really hard and tough but like what they said god will always provide, there will always be a lifeline waiting and lying around. if you could live on the decision that you are going to make and live without any regrets nor any resentment with the decision you are going make then go for it. all i can say is if you can ride out this storm you are going through you will come out really strong at the end of it. keep strong and god bless.

well said.. where in Manchester are you from? My bf is at Rose Bank Road... hope to see you soon? hehehe....

[aphrodite78]

well said.. where in Manchester are you from? My bf is at Rose Bank Road... hope to see you soon? hehehe....

hi,

i'm not too familiar w/ manchester but i'm from rochdale 20 mins away from the city of manchester. i'd love to meet my kababayan as well but never had time because i was so traumatized w/my previous partner, got over it now after 3 years. where is rose bank rd? thanks hope to see you as well

[vbkelly]

am a young woman age 24 i put to birth some 6 months ago i wish to place my son for adoption to any christian and financially viable family living in the UK.i guess you all will help me on how to carry on.

just get a job and take responsibility of your lil boy, or find a man that able to love and care to you and your lil boy

[Florge]

hi,

i'm not too familiar w/ manchester but i'm from rochdale 20 mins away from the city of manchester. i'd love to meet my kababayan as well but never had time because i was so traumatized w/my previous partner, got over it now after 3 years. where is rose bank rd? thanks hope to see you as well

Lancashire... I hope I'm giving you the correct answer... LOL