Best ever blonde joke?

[pennybarry]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . .. .

[Tawi2]

A blond Pinay, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?'

The blond Pinay said, 'How about pipty dollars?' The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, 'Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?' The man replied, 'She should. She was standing on the porch.'

A short time later, the blond Pinay came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' he asked. 'O-o,' the blonde Pinay answered, 'and I had paint lept ober, so I gabe it two coats.'

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.'And by the way,' the blond added, 'it'snot a Porch, it's a Perrari'.

[miss.piggy]

A blond Pinay, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?'

The blond Pinay said, 'How about pipty dollars?' The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, 'Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?' The man replied, 'She should. She was standing on the porch.'

A short time later, the blond Pinay came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' he asked. 'O-o,' the blonde Pinay answered, 'and I had paint lept ober, so I gabe it two coats.'

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.'And by the way,' the blond added, 'it'snot a Porch, it's a Perrari'.

[nigel]

Did you hear about the dumb blonde that won 5 million on the lottery? When she went to collect her winnings they said "We are very sorry, there has been a mistake...you have only won 2 million..!"

The dumb blonde says "That's not fair I want my £1 back!"