Just a quick Q. An ex-BF is coming over to Ph for a visit apparently with no intentions but "for friendship's sake." So a dinner with friends most likely. Is it proper to let current BF know about it? BTW, both men are english. So this is really a Q for the men. If you were the current BF, would you rather not know about ex coming over so he is spared of unnecessary worry (relationship is still raw) OR simple honesty matters since you're not doing anything wrong anyway.
Yes we would like to know, and we'd really like to know why'd you still be 'associating' with him, and we'd then like his address so we could knock the crap out of him......this is generally how blokes over here will think.
I'm sure you'd be very happy if hi ex-girl was calling around to his house for 'food' while you're out they're happy in the knowledge that they are not
So in answer to your question, tell you current BF, and tell you ex to get theout of your life, you've moved on, otherwise this will cause problems with current bloke, and he may dump you.
Keith - Administrator
Originally Posted by Win2Win
and we'd then like his address so we could knock the crap out of him
you know keith, i like ur icons...
insanity- doing the same thing over and over again,expecting a different outcome...
Hi...
Even im not a men...but let me give some adviced to you too... even you did not ask some advices....just ignore your ex-bf or stop communicating to him...and let him know that u have a new bf.....then for now focuse your relationship to ur current bf as well....
just do the right thing...why bothered about ex when he is your past when you got future ahead with your current bf...just say no thats it.....done...
Hmmm you all have points
Scot ===>
"The world is all about diversity. I am different and you are different."
Some men from the UK are okay with this and would appreciate being told. However, when I say "some", I really mean one or two.
In the UK, it's considered not a good thing to do and breaks an important boundary in British culture. If you're still not sure, consider your bf in your situation and you in his. Would you really be happy if an ex-gf of his wanted to meet up with him while you are so far away?
for me, seeing an ex is a risky business and that i would always question his motives...if its over between us, whats the point?
dumped or being dumped one cant simply move on if u keep on seeing each other and with the current bf, long distance relationship is not easy and adding insecurity in it doesnt always helps even tho it's "raw" doesnt qualify u seeing an ex!
sometimes we want to play safe but it matters a lot if we play by the rules and we dont have to suffer for needless guilts bec we did something which we didnt expect to happen.
in my own experience, i could never be friends with an ex...for the reasons that he still feel soo good or i simply hate him.
it sounds like u want the best of both worlds.
insanity- doing the same thing over and over again,expecting a different outcome...
If you love your current boyfriend then don't do it, 99 times out of hundred it will simply cause problems with your current relationship. Maybe not now but in the future.
A brit does not just fly over to phill for dinner (well the average brit doesn't anyway). What else is doing over there, tourism, meeting other friends?
Best to politely decline.
If you still have feelings for the exbf, you need to decide which man should be your boyfriend.
If you were my GF and I found out you had an ex BF round for dinner when I was out of the country, then there would be no more me and you. It would be over, finito, gonzo. It is not a question of whether you should tell him or not, the point is there should be NO 'dinner with ex' for him to even worry about.
Paudlo is really Magaret Philips who does the letters page for Woman's Own
Keith - Administrator
Which one has the most moolah??
(not that I am trying to influence your decision)
so its all that matters...keith has more moolah...and the missus keep denying it...
insanity- doing the same thing over and over again,expecting a different outcome...
Love is an ocean of emotion...
insanity- doing the same thing over and over again,expecting a different outcome...
Just made a wise decision to decline politely to ex. And your feedback has been of help esp that I have been accustomed in Fil culture and in the church I grew up with that ex's for friends are acceptable if at all to show forgiveness and letting go. Just made me realize that I can afford to give up friendship with ex for the man i love most.And no I cant afford him to hurt now or in the future.
Thanks all!
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