Not sure if these have been posted before... but they still make me laff !
Something you mount: "A mountain.."
Something you lose when you get older: "Your purse.."
A number you might have to memorise: "Seven.."
An instrument you can play while walking in the street: "A cello.."
A word used to describe a very hot day: "A very hot day.."
A song from 'The Sound Of Music': "Dancing Queen.."
Someone who works early hours: "A burglar.."
A nickname for a slim person: "Slimmy.."
A famous Dick: "Carrot.."
Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: "Feeds your pets.."
Something that comes in 7's: "Fingers.."
A vocalist known by only one name: "Michael Jackson.."
Something associated with Liverpool: "The Yellow Brick Road.."
Something associated with Queen Victoria: "Her husbands.."
Something you hide in your socks when you go swimming: "Your legs.."
Something a Frenchman would say: "On Garde.."
A character from Little Red Riding Hood: "Hansel and Gretel.."
Something a policeman might say: "Spread 'em.."
A sign of the Zodiac: "April.."
Something you open other than a door: "Your bowels.."
A type of record: "A floppy disk.."
A type of large cat: "Persian.."
An occupation where you need a torch: "A burglar.."
Something you use a microchip in: "A fish-fryer.."
A dangerous race: "The Arabs.."
A game played in the dark: "Charades.."
Some famous brothers: "Bonnie and Clyde.."
Something you find on a fire engine: "Coal.."
A famous royal: "Mail.."
An item of clothing worn by the Three Muskateers: "A horse.."
Something you might do in a power cut: "Read a book.."
A famous Arthur: "Shakespeare.."
Something a girl should know about a man before marrying him: "His name.."
A bird with a long neck: "Naomi Campbell.."
A song with moon in the title: "Blue Suede Moon.."
A part of the body beginning with N: "Knee.."
A famous Scotsman : "Jock.."
Something red: "My cardigan.."
A kind of ache: "Fillet-o-fish.."
Something with a hole in it: "A window.."
Something in the garden that's green: "The shed.."
Something a blind man might use: "A sword.."