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Thread: Hiding something from me?

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    eagles's Avatar
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    Hiding something from me?

    yesterday, i had a chat with my british boyfriend. He was pricky. Our usual daily hour chat ended with hurt feelings. Why was that so? Overnight, i did looked back on how we are handling our long distant relationship that had span for 5 solid years. Yesterday, he felt irritated of my question " why are always offline in the IM?


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    Talking

    ldr,s are very hard work at times wether its 1 year 2 yrs or 5 years it does not get any easier just hang in there maybe he just had a bad day at work


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    Quote Originally Posted by eagles View Post
    . Yesterday, he felt irritated of my question " why are always offline in the IM?

    I showed offline when relatives or friends were online, because I didn't want to be disturbed by them, while chatting with my mahal...


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    Respected Member yam's Avatar
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    Maybe he wasn't feeing well that time or he had a problem and he couldn't tell you that time...I wish everything would be fine later...


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    Quote Originally Posted by eagles View Post
    yesterday, i had a chat with my british boyfriend. He was pricky. Our usual daily hour chat ended with hurt feelings. Why was that so? Overnight, i did looked back on how we are handling our long distant relationship that had span for 5 solid years. Yesterday, he felt irritated of my question " why are always offline in the IM?
    One hour a day ! seems a bit limited, even allowing for the time difference.

    Not knowing the full story of your relationship. its hard to say anything.

    BUT on your comments above, my opinion is that he is one of those who have a few filipina on his list to chat with.
    And after 5 years.... maybe you should start again and look for a guy who is online and able to take less than 5 years to either get you into the UK or move to PI!

    I hope I am wrong for your sake... but thats my opinion! Soory!


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    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eagles View Post
    i did looked back on how we are handling our long distant relationship that had span for 5 solid years.
    5yrs in a LDR how have you made it last so long
    3+Yrs me and the misses were in a LDR was bad enough..

    time and distance not good for any relationship, you get use to living your own life in your own world


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    Respected Member Sim11UK's Avatar
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    Could just be a bad day, we all have them....one minute we can be up, the next minute down.

    5 years is a long time, how many times has he been to visit you?


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    eagles's Avatar
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    thanks for the advices.. Indeed 5 years is too long. By the stories shared on the forum, less than 3 years, the couple were either together and married. Anyway, we will see the outcome of this LDR


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    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eagles View Post
    yesterday, i had a chat with my british boyfriend. He was pricky. Our usual daily hour chat ended with hurt feelings. Why was that so? Overnight, i did looked back on how we are handling our long distant relationship that had span for 5 solid years. Yesterday, he felt irritated of my question " why are always offline in the IM?
    hi eagles,

    sorry about what happened I am sure everything will be ok soon.. when my hubby and I chatted before he's also offline always and I prefer it that way because I am sure if he's online lots of other people will disturb us..

    Uve been LDR for 5yrs? how many times uve meet already? oh sorry nosy.


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    Hi eagles, as what most here said already, maybe he just had a bad day.....
    We all have bad days and get into a mood once in a while....due to outside factors most likely and nothing to do with you....
    And yeah, 5 years of LDR is a bit long indeed but i commend you both for that....
    it's not easy to sustain and maintain a long distance relationship and at that length - so kudos to both of you
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


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    Hi Eagles,
    He probably is just tired or in a bad mood at the time. I hope everything works out between you and your boyfriend.
    Wow, five years... Congratulations and I hope you can be together soon.
    Take care.xxx
    When in doubt, mumble.


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    Sorry to hear that eagles. Five years is too looooong waiting. If you feel he's chatting with others, you can still give space for yourself to find Mr. Right. It depends on you on how long you can still wait.

    When we first chat online, my hubby said "I Love you"
    I replied and said come on big man! you're crazy! we need to know each other first before you get my YES

    After few weeks he said I want to marry you
    Few months later we met and I can't resist anymore
    After we married, I had hard time to get my spouse visa.
    So we need to chat online and I was the one who is always busy at my shop. I was always on invisible mode. I can see he's online but I ignore him sometimes if I'm so busy. Sometimes he sent me shock replies.
    He said "I know you're there, I'm going to divorce you soon"
    I know he just want to get my attention and later on we get on well.
    Too hard if your other half is too busy and always tired at work like me.
    Try to catch her attention if you think he's online. Give him ultimatum if it will works


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    5 years is not too long,its a lot better than the speed-daters who meet someone online and instantly pledge eternal love,race off to pinas and are married or engaged within 6-9 months of first meeting Everyone has their own speed,if he is visiting you once or twice a year,your in daily contact and your still together after 5 years thats fine so long as your both comfortable with it right?These things have a habit of working themselves out He might be the cautious type or still healing after his last relationship,all scars dont close at the same speed ayaw pagdadali sa inyong panag-uban. hulata nga makaangay jud ka.
    Hey,your having water problems in Davao this weekend due to the pipes being laid at Dumoy toril pumping station?



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    have to disagree with you tawi2, going to see someone twice a year for 3 or 4wks a year, for 5 years (and that's if your lucky, you can afford to and have the hols to) that's not what i would call much of a relationship, i've been there there, so for 48wks of the year your apart, getting on with your life, as i said before in your own little world, and wondering if being apart will ever end


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    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    5yrs in a LDR how have you made it last so long
    3+Yrs me and the misses were in a LDR was bad enough..

    time and distance not good for any relationship, you get use to living your own life in your own world
    Quote Originally Posted by Sim11UK View Post
    Could just be a bad day, we all have them....one minute we can be up, the next minute down.

    5 years is a long time, how many times has he been to visit you?
    Quote Originally Posted by eagles View Post
    thanks for the advices.. Indeed 5 years is too long. By the stories shared on the forum, less than 3 years, the couple were either together and married. Anyway, we will see the outcome of this LDR
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    Hi eagles, as what most here said already, maybe he just had a bad day.....
    We all have bad days and get into a mood once in a while....due to outside factors most likely and nothing to do with you....
    And yeah, 5 years of LDR is a bit long indeed but i commend you both for that....
    it's not easy to sustain and maintain a long distance relationship and at that length - so kudos to both of you
    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    5 years is not too long,its a lot better than the speed-daters who meet someone online and instantly pledge eternal love,race off to pinas and are married or engaged within 6-9 months of first meeting Everyone has their own speed,if he is visiting you once or twice a year,your in daily contact and your still together after 5 years thats fine so long as your both comfortable with it right?These things have a habit of working themselves out He might be the cautious type or still healing after his last relationship,all scars dont close at the same speed ayaw pagdadali sa inyong panag-uban. hulata nga makaangay jud ka.
    Hey,your having water problems in Davao this weekend due to the pipes being laid at Dumoy toril pumping station?

    Five years isn't that long! My bf now my husband, we met on the 6th year!!!


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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    have to disagree with you tawi2, going to see someone twice a year for 3 or 4wks a year, for 5 years (and that's if your lucky, you can afford to and have the hols to) that's not what i would call much of a relationship, i've been there there, so for 48wks of the year your apart, getting on with your life, as i said before in your own little world, and wondering if being apart will ever end
    I totally agree, on my second year now in LDR. It's getting frustrating cos it feels like forever before you can finally be together! You don't know where the relationship is headed.

    My boyfriend is going to kill me when he finds out this is how I feel.
    When in doubt, mumble.


  17. #17
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    We all have different speeds Joe,I guess some of us are slow its the opposite end of the scale to meeting someone online and proposing to them before they have a chance to draw breath,but I know from experience the ones who take their time are the ones that last Fools rush in where angels fear to tread......marry in haste repente at leisure.....etc.....etc.....etc,some of us just move at a tortoise like speed



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    5 years is not too long,its a lot better than the speed-daters who meet someone online and instantly pledge eternal love,race off to pinas and are married or engaged within 6-9 months of first meeting Everyone has their own speed,if he is visiting you once or twice a year,your in daily contact and your still together after 5 years thats fine so long as your both comfortable with it right?
    A 5-year relationship is just fine, but a 5 year LONG DISTANCE relationship is another story............
    Personally, a maximum of 3 years for a long distance relationship is enough for me.....
    But that's just me, just an opinion
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    A 5-year relationship is just fine, but a 5 year LONG DISTANCE relationship is another story............
    Personally, a maximum of 3 years for a long distance relationship is enough for me.....
    But that's just me, just an opinion
    Three years for me too. Ohh well, we can't rush guys though. So an extension of another year is ok, I guess.
    When in doubt, mumble.


  20. #20
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    I know someone who is doing specialist work for IOM,World-Bank,EU and several other organisations,she has known a guy for five years,she is a pinay,they are both doing seperate things but both have trust and know where they are heading so no rush,its a couples choice I guess,as long as your both comfortable.



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    I know someone who is doing specialist work for IOM,World-Bank,EU and several other organisations,she has known a guy for five years,she is a pinay,they are both doing seperate things but both have trust and know where they are heading so no rush,its a couples choice I guess,as long as your both comfortable.
    You could be right, but is it not also true that, when you love someone, you can't wait to spend the rest of your lives together?
    When in doubt, mumble.


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    Quote Originally Posted by monkeyface View Post
    Three years for me too. Ohh well, we can't rush guys though. So an extension of another year is ok, I guess.
    I agree, it's not advisable to rush guys into marriage thing,
    it has to be something they decide on their own and by choice, not forced nor pressured upon....
    And as tawi said, if you're comfortable with the set up, then it's fine
    as long as you're open to each other and has a clear vision of where you're relationship is heading....
    As time progress, so should your relationship too.....
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


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    Quote Originally Posted by monkeyface View Post
    Three years for me too. Ohh well, we can't rush guys though. So an extension of another year is ok, I guess.

    That's cool!

    We live together after 3 years of dating and chatting!


  24. #24
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Thats true,but from personal observation women are normally the ones who try to force the issues over time,all I am saying is if your both comfortable with the relationship and you both have a set plan and you can see each other for maybe 2 months a year thats fine for some,we dont all have the same agenda



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Thats true,but from personal observation women are normally the ones who try to force the issues over time,all I am saying is if your both comfortable with the relationship and you both have a set plan and you can see each other for maybe 2 months a year thats fine for some,we dont all have the same agenda
    Trudat. I am guilty for raising such issues before, not to force him to marry me as I know I am neither ready for the responsibilities. I think girls, raise them cos, well, not speaking for everyone, we are more clingy?! Who doesn't want lambing all day and night long!
    When in doubt, mumble.


  26. #26
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Some guys like lambing some guys like mas maglambing and some guys ayaw ng malambing



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Quote Originally Posted by eagles View Post
    yesterday, i had a chat with my british boyfriend. He was pricky. Our usual daily hour chat ended with hurt feelings. Why was that so? Overnight, i did looked back on how we are handling our long distant relationship that had span for 5 solid years. Yesterday, he felt irritated of my question " why are always offline in the IM?
    Hi eagles,

    5 years LDR !!!!!

    Has he been over many times to visit you?
    Does he love you, have you made plans to marry?

    Be careful dear, he could be stringing you along.
    How long can you wait?


  28. #28
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Some guys like lambing some guys like mas maglambing and some guys ayaw ng malambing

    What are you then Tawiwi?


  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Some guys like lambing some guys like mas maglambing and some guys ayaw ng malambing
    Not sure if that was Madonna inspired or the voices in my head are back. :s But it sure got me singing!

    Happy weekend everyone!
    Tc.xx
    When in doubt, mumble.


  30. #30
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    What are you then Tawiwi?
    ako ay pambihira



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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