Parrot

[aposhark]

David received a parrot for his birthday.
This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird became angrier and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer for a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming-then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said:
"I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behaviour."
David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued:
"May I ask what the chicken did?"

[nigel]

Oh gawd you've got me started on the parrot jokes!

A man buys a parrot and is disturbed to learn it has a filthy mouth!

"Fancy a shag? Fancy a shag?" "Want a BJ? Want a BJ?" The bird is always talking dirty unholy things!

The local Priest suggests an idea! Put your parrot with my parrot, the Priest suggests...my parrot has been raised by me, and will be a good influence!

So they put the foul mouthed parrot in the same cage as the Priests parrot and it says "Fancy a shag? Fancy a shag?" "Want a BJ? Want a BJ?"

The Priests parrot says "At last, my prayers have been answered!"

[acs]

very funny posts.

[belfast_dude]

David received a parrot for his birthday.
This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird became angrier and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer for a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming-then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said:
"I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behaviour."
David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued:
"May I ask what the chicken did?"

lol