Going Public?

[Jay&Zobel]

I am also a pretty private person, especially around my family as I grew up and noticed how they always started fights over petty and trivial things. I learned long ago that my business was just that, my business! They never knew much about the women in my life as I lived on the other side of town from them, they learnt some gossip only when I was once spotted in the street with some girl. And that was how I liked it... I used to always joke that they will know about my love life when they meet my wife

Thanks

But just make sure that you are NOT embarrassed of her. Make her feel that she is important and you don't think of her the same as the PREVIOUS girl. Anyway, you have learnt your lessons from the past and I'm sure you won't get fooled again, right?

Take care & all the best!

[laurel]

Good luck to you Northerner, all of us can appreciate the difficulties involved. Im sure we're all rooting for you.

[bornatbirth]

[QUOTE=Piamed;158332]I undertsand how she could feel hurt. I had no issues telling everyone where the woman i was dating came from. One black lady asked me why all the black men with a reasonable education and job tended to go for the trophy wife. I gave her a lecture about ignorance and the areas in which she might improve herself so that she would not remain single and never heard from her again.

Another foolish person remarked that i 'bought my wife'. I addressed that head on also.
[QUOTE]

im not sure getting into an argument with you is such a good idea

when i first met my wife i didnt tell anyone for what reason i dont know?,after a month of chatting online i went and met her in manila for just 5 days,a bit like speed dating but slower as it involved me flying there and back just to meet her!

our first night was a bit tense as we was both a little nervous and after the flight,i was also tired as i discovered that i cant sleep on planes!

after i got back we chatted online and my wife wanted us to be bf and gf

i have to admit after meeting her it felt so good,so i dont know why i had a problem telling anyone,i guess some of us think like this?

i had my next trip a couple of months later for 2 weeks and before this trip i told everyone i met her and i havent had any problems with anyone i know but if you do,just hit them head on?

your gf looks really nice,why dont you explain to her how you feel and after you meet you wont have any problems telling anyone about her!!

so goodluck!!

[Northerner]

Thanks everyone

I have explained everything to Rizza and I think she understands, I also sent her to the link of my profile on this forum so she can read up on my posts... And I encouraged her to consider joining as I am sure she will have questions from some of the ladies on here.

I'm really looking forward to flying out to the phils (2160 hours till cebu... such a geek) and I am sure we will both have a great time.

And when I return I will consider telling my family if I think it is time, besides I only see them once a month or so....

[Sophie]

Thanks everyone

I have explained everything to Rizza and I think she understands, I also sent her to the link of my profile on this forum so she can read up on my posts... And I encouraged her to consider joining as I am sure she will have questions from some of the ladies on here.

I'm really looking forward to flying out to the phils (2160 hours till cebu... such a geek) and I am sure we will both have a great time.

And when I return I will consider telling my family if I think it is time, besides I only see them once a month or so....

That's a great idea, let her join this forum so we can welcome her to the family
And have fun on your trip to the philippines in 2160 hours, lol

[Scouse]

Doesn't matter what anybody else thinks as long as you are happy.

I met my wife in my local pub, but still get people asking if we met on line. They are the ones who get embarrassed and apologise.

I have friends who met their current (English) partner on line, why should it bother me how they met. At the end of the day it is just another way of meeting someboy. It is no different to speed dating and lonely hearts columns, it just uses different technology.

[mickcant]

Doesn't matter what anybody else thinks as long as you are happy.

I met my wife in my local pub, but still get people asking if we met on line. They are the ones who get embarrassed and apologise.

I have friends who met their current (English) partner on line, why should it bother me how they met. At the end of the day it is just another way of meeting someboy. It is no different to speed dating and lonely hearts columns, it just uses different technology.

Hi Scouse,
I totally agree with you on it makes no difference how couples meet, its how they bond afterwards, I have said this before but the worse comment I have had was when around 2 months ago I went to my High St bank to send my filipina wife some money while we wait for her visa, and my saying it was to my wifes bank account, the chap doing the money transfere said "have you met her yet" I replied several times and we married last year!
Mick.

[Scouse]

Good on you Mickcant. You could have complained about him though. Cheeky

[English Rose]

When I told my sons about my Filipino friend, they were dead set against it. I found this very hurtful but then I got to thinking. They were only trying to protect me (which is a good thing). I let them have their say and did not try to persuade them they were wrong, as that is just a waste of energy and gives them an opportunity to repeat their accusations (mostly that he was after my money). I just quietly got on with leading my life my own way. Nearly 2 years later, I think they are beginning to see that there must be something special about this man.
Pretending you're not in this relationship is a bad idea. When you finally "come out" your friends are going to be angry that you lied to them, and that will confirm in their minds that there is something dodgy going on.
If you value your friendship with this lady, tell the world and show them how proud you are of her.

[Tawi2]

Mick when he asked had you met her yet you should have said very dead-pan "No,thats why I am sending money,I am paying for her in installments"

[Jay&Zobel]

Mick when he asked had you met her yet you should have said very dead-pan "No,thats why I am sending money,I am paying for her in installments"

Nice one!

[mickcant]

Mick when he asked had you met her yet you should have said very dead-pan "No,thats why I am sending money,I am paying for her in installments"

Hi Tawi2,
Yes that would have been good, problem is I did not think of anything good in time!

The next time I went in the bank, he served me again, and asked if there was any progress on her arriving here, so he might have thought on about it aftrer!
Mick.

[Tawi2]

Thats cool Mick,maybe he had a rethink and realised

[Matt7]

Crazy idea, but why not go about introducing her the way you would any other girlfriend? If you start to draw distinctions between a girlfriend from the Philippines and one from the UK then you are no better than the people who assume all Filipinas are mail order

To me, the very fact you're so reluctant to announce your status suggests you are embarrassed by the situation. If I were you I'd think LONG and HARD about whether you really want this, or whether its just convenient for you right now. Because to me it doesn't sound like you're really committed to this girl, and that's unfair on her

Just my 2p

[Jay&Zobel]

Crazy idea, but why not go about introducing her the way you would any other girlfriend? If you start to draw distinctions between a girlfriend from the Philippines and one from the UK then you are no better than the people who assume all Filipinas are mail order

To me, the very fact you're so reluctant to announce your status suggests you are embarrassed by the situation. If I were you I'd think LONG and HARD about whether you really want this, or whether its just convenient for you right now. Because to me it doesn't sound like you're really committed to this girl, and that's unfair on her

Just my 2p

Yeah, you have a point but sometimes it's better not to talk too much about it. There's a thin line between being private and being embarrassed.

[Tawi2]

Just my 2p 2 pesos?See,your fluent in Tagalog already

[Piamed]

[QUOTE=bornatbirth;158775][QUOTE=Piamed;158332]I undertsand how she could feel hurt. I had no issues telling everyone where the woman i was dating came from. One black lady asked me why all the black men with a reasonable education and job tended to go for the trophy wife. I gave her a lecture about ignorance and the areas in which she might improve herself so that she would not remain single and never heard from her again.

Another foolish person remarked that i 'bought my wife'. I addressed that head on also.

im not sure getting into an argument with you is such a good idea

I'm a softy n general, really! Only thing is don't mess with who I hold dear - I'm a fierce defender of those I care about! Grrrrr! Woof woof!!!!!

[dontpushme]

Just my 2p 2 pesos?See,your fluent in Tagalog already

LOL! I think he meant two pence.

Also, I think what Matt meant by treating this as you would any other relationship is just that. Long distance relationships per se aren't bad (Matt and I didn't meet in person until last June, when we'd been together for over a year). It's when the couple act like the relationship is a dirty secret that other people will start to perceive it as such. Another thing that leads other people to assume that your relationship is less than acceptable is when money changes hands (sending cash for surgery, family, emergencies, electronics, expensive gifts, etc), even if it's the guy who always offers to send cash after hearing a sob story. Relationships should never be based on money.

If you've done nothing wrong and you feel proud of this relationship, show it. And be strong. After a while, if people see that you truly are in love with each other and you're not just becoming her sugar daddy, they will accept the relationship. Love is a beautiful thing. If this is the same kind of relationship you'd expect with an Englishwoman, then treat your lady the same way you'd treat someone from your country. You'll find her appreciation is worth more than your pride or any embarrassment the long-distance relationship may cause you.

[Northerner]

Crazy idea, but why not go about introducing her the way you would any other girlfriend? If you start to draw distinctions between a girlfriend from the Philippines and one from the UK then you are no better than the people who assume all Filipinas are mail order

To me, the very fact you're so reluctant to announce your status suggests you are embarrassed by the situation. If I were you I'd think LONG and HARD about whether you really want this, or whether its just convenient for you right now. Because to me it doesn't sound like you're really committed to this girl, and that's unfair on her

Just my 2p

Matt, perhaps you have a point. But I have always kept my private life private, let's just say I have a disfunctional family As for being embarrassed! No, not at all.. And I think you will find a lot of members on this board had kept their relationships privae for a short while.

Once I get back from the phils then I will think over this some more.

LOL! I think he meant two pence.

... if people see that you truly are in love with each other and you're not just becoming her sugar daddy, they will accept the relationship.

Sugar Daddy Does being 8 years older make me a Sugar Daddy?

[dontpushme]

Matt, perhaps you have a point. But I have always kept my private life private, let's just say I have a disfunctional family As for being embarrassed! No, not at all.. And I think you will find a lot of members on this board had kept their relationships privae for a short while.

Well, there's really nothing wrong with keeping a relationship to yourselves if that's what you really want, but do it for the right reasons.

Sugar Daddy Does being 8 years older make me a Sugar Daddy?

I don't think your age would do it, and I don't know how to define it without sounding like an . But you're all grown up, you know what it means. :P And in case you don't, here's a link to definitions (if you click it, don't blame me for what you read).

Aaaanyway, it sounds like you're just a private person. If you're just keeping this private because you kept your other relationships private too, then there's really no harm in telling others how much you love your girl. It's just a privacy thing that a part of you anyway. You have nothing to lose but more of her affection to gain.

[Northerner]

Aaaanyway, it sounds like you're just a private person. If you're just keeping this private because you kept your other relationships private too, then there's really no harm in telling others how much you love your girl. It's just a privacy thing that a part of you anyway. You have nothing to lose but more of her affection to gain.

One complaint I often hear from my sisters is how I hardly ever tell them about my life. I learnt that when I was a teenager and saw them bicker about the smallest and most useless thing

As for Rizza, I would be a proud man taking her along to my family functions (if you can call them that) and along to the cinema with my friends and their other halves

[Sun Shine]

My close family know about my Pinoy bf, but none of my work colleagues do and this is purely because it's none of their business right now, I'll tell them when and if I want to tell them.
It's nothing to do with being embarased, I just like to keep things private.

[Northerner]

My close family know about my Pinoy bf, but none of my work colleagues do and this is purely because it's none of their business right now, I'll tell them when and if I want to tell them.
It's nothing to do with being embarased, I just like to keep things private.

I plan to tell my family some time after coming back.... With photographs of the two of us together! But it will probably find its way onto facebook as all my family, friends and colleagues are on there. Not that any of that bothers me I don't date in work any more

[dontpushme]

I plan to tell my family some time after coming back.... With photographs of the two of us together! But it will probably find its way onto facebook as all my family, friends and colleagues are on there. Not that any of that bothers me I don't date in work any more

Good luck! Let's hope she's accepted. And if she isn't, well, they're not the ones planning to marry her so it doesn't really matter.

[Northerner]

Good luck! Let's hope she's accepted. And if she isn't, well, they're not the ones planning to marry her so it doesn't really matter.

Well considering I have 4 sisters, split into 2 camps - camp a hates camp b and will never talk to each other... I don't think it matters how they feel Plus, I recently moved away from them and live well out of their gossip range

[Sun Shine]

Good luck! Let's hope she's accepted. And if she isn't, well, they're not the ones planning to marry her so it doesn't really matter.

As long as you're both happy it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

[jakeob]

If it was me i wouldnt rush to spill the beans to anyone, not until you'v met in person and decided to be a couple, lets face it you could me and not like eachother, hope thats not the case but its possible, I know while i am looking for a woman i keep it low key , becuase i honestly get sick of the comments from people, but when i find somebody and i think it will last then for me thats the time to spill the beans,

N