What are you afraid of?

[britishdetained]

During my college years back when i was doing my masteral we needed to have our case study. It was about the trauma and psychological effect of being jailed. I was assigned at the Correctional (women's jail for convicted prisoners), there i learned the hardship and pain of women who are serving their sentence. I saw the cruelty of the guards and even their situation food, clothing, health, sleeping quarters, etc.). I pitied each one as they all have diffrent stories that would break your heart. Most of my cases are mother's who had left their children for adoption as no one would take care of them and they are serving their sentence.

Before I had this casework, i always thought that criminals are criminals...but then after all they are also human. Yes, they have to be punished for whatever their crime is...but being jailed is not only serving your sentence, but as well as killing your life, hope and even morals. That is when I started being afraid of jail. I have nighmares of what I have seen there. Those are not will be forgotten. I have promised myself that no way i would let myself in that situation.

And now...i am facing the threat of being detained. What a life? What a mess I am in.

So tell me...how about you? What are you afraid of to happen?

[Tawi2]

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[britishdetained]

Your not in a mess,its one of those things that make us unique,its called life,we all have differing expectations,experiences,trauma,joy,ups,downs swings and roundabouts,you learn from each day,deprivation of liberty is pretty traumatic I must admit but hopefully its short-term only,you will learn from it and empathise with the people you meet,its part of the game.I was locked up in Pakistan once,I was single so wasnt too phased by the experience though the fact I expected a beating perturbed me a little But your strong,your characters ebullient,your writings echo that,this wont crush you,if anything it will make you stronger.

sometimes i dont understand my life...imagine at my age i have experienced alot of pains, traumas, happiness, achievements and love where others might just only started. At my age i've been married twice already and have six children. first marriage was happy until i found out im sharing my husband with another guy. then got lost...then found kevin. thought it will be a good one as. marriage is good and i can say we both tried to be good parents. manage to get our second business after the first one failed. but now...lost again everything...kevin being imprisoned...me have a threat of being detained...and being way to my lovely children. hope that i can be able to see the light at the end (but i hope not that late). Honestly, this thing had made me a brick heart, and a numb mind.

oh well dont know why i get this things...i know it was me who choose what path i will be on...but never intended to be in this one.

[GaryFifer]

You are not alone are you? That my fear. Worst thing. Noone there for you. You have family and people who love you. That is the greatest gift of all. Remember that.

[britishdetained]

You are not alone are you? That my fear. Worst thing. Noone there for you. You have family and people who love you. That is the greatest gift of all. Remember that.

thanks for the reply...yes i am not alone now but im asking myself most of the time why this thing should happen. My greatest fear being jailed is what i am facing. im not afraid of being jailed, but im so worried to my children and kevin. there is no more scary as being deprived of justice.

i hope tomorrow i still be able to continue this thread...

if not then, my witings will not stop. i will only take a rest when we both get the justice we have been looking for

[Tawi2]

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[britishdetained]

QUOTE=Tawi2;158375]You havent lost everything,you got 6 kids,my goodness,I would love six kids,thats true happiness,6 individuals who rely,depend,love you implicitly,its like your on the road of life,loads of bumps,one or two potholes,but the surface is good and most of the ride is smooth,we all get flat-tyres now and again but on the whole the journey is good,dont start letting negativity creep into your thoughts,banish that,positive and strong k?You really dont know what surprises today will bring,good news hopefully I know several couples in this area,pinays who married much older guys,they have no children,nice houses but no laughter bouncing off the interior walls,just places to live and nothing else,your blessed,seriously,not just saying it to lift your spirits,you have 6 children,and at this moment in time you need to be strong k?[/QUOTE]

ohhh...mind is out of my head honestly. so scared for tomorrow as i may not be able to cuddle my children. worried as never in my children's life ill be away that long. they have lost kevin as he is in jail and that had gave too much trauma to the children, it breaks my heart to see them crying after visiting kevin. im the one who fills up the attention that a father should do as he is jailed. but if im going also, what whill happen to them? yes there will be shelter, food and things for them as my dad is coming home...but i know they will be looking for kevin and i.

just really hope that things will be better tomorrow. its difficult as i feel that all that i love are taken away from me all the time. honestly...this is more than the pain i felt when my mum died. just cant imagine leaving the children.

but need to be strong i know...ohhh boy, hope that i can still have more strenght for the coming days

...and thank you honestly, you're such a nice person tawi2. and to this forum who gave me comfort and encouragement. gosh, i hope kevin will see how good this forum.

[Tawi2]

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[britishdetained]

We have all been through trauma,its how you handle it that determines the outcome sometimes,theres times only your strength of character influences the outcome,your case is different,but always examine all the angles,probe for weakness,examine everything twice,I hope your lawyer is damned good,I am sure Florge has given you behind the scenes advice,always remember never crack or show weakness in front of the children,your strong inside,I know guys who would curl into a ball and weep in your position,Kevins lucky in more ways than he can imagine,the old samurai warriors used to say a blades strength can only really be tested on the field of battle,your undergoing your test at the moment and your holding up well so dont weaken,besides,you and Kevin owe me a dinner next time I am in Manila k?

i hope i got the right lawyer....i also gets advise from a friend who is as well a lawyer, but he cant represent me coz he is the head PAO at San Mateo. He is helping really. Many people are negotiating with some people there, got also help from the office of Sen. Defensor. Just really hope that a fair trial will be given to us.

im trying to be the strong charlene i can, but there are times i panic and just burst into tears. hope i wont do this tomorrow as Kevin only depends on me. I had a conference meeting earlier with Kevin and the attorney...but it seems that he had already lose hope. So i guess i have to give my strenght for him. Actually, though we are in this situation...i never thought on abandoning him, infact my love for him becoming more and more stronger. but when it comes to the children....

i really want to see you so i can thank you for your support and introduce kevin. youre one of a kind tawi2 (im still puzzled of who you are...but i have i feeling already of who you are)

[aposhark]

Life gives everybody highs and lows.
We are all the same.
I know a multi-millionaire that couldn't sleep as his feet felt like they were on fire.
I knew people without jobs who cope.

I have met people who went to jail.

A friend of mine just had a double-masectomy, and she is optimistic still.

Throughout everything we have to stay strong and focussed.
It will be hard but it won't last forever even though it will probably feel that way sometimes.

Books are wonderful things to keep us occupied and there are no boundaries to where we want to be in our minds.

Best of Luck and Ingat.

[britishdetained]

Life gives everybody highs and lows.
We are all the same.
I know a multi-millionaire that couldn't sleep as his feet felt like they were on fire.
I knew people without jobs who cope.

I have met people who went to jail.

A friend of mine just had a double-masectomy, and she is optimistic still.

Throughout everything we have to stay strong and focussed.
It will be hard but it won't last forever even though it will probably feel that way sometimes.

Books are wonderful things to keep us occupied and there are no boundaries to where we want to be in our minds.

Best of Luck and Ingat.

thanks alot

[Sophie]

And now...i am facing the threat of being detained. What a life? What a mess I am in.

I know you're in a messy situation at the moment, but look at the brighter side - you still have your family....
Kevin is still fighting and trying to survive in jail, your kids are still there and you got supportive family and relatives to help you look after them...
And you're still doing well, fighting a good fight, facing the problems head on and just rolling with the punches.....
Trust me, after all this mess is over, you'll emerge as a better and stronger person....and you can take on anything.....

So tell me...how about you? What are you afraid of to happen?

I'm afraid of Death - To loose my loved ones and to leave my loved ones behind.....

[britishdetained]

I'm afraid of Death - To loose my loved ones and to leave my loved ones behind.....

thanks for the encouragement...just wishing things will be better VERY SOON

[Sophie]

thanks for the encouragement...just wishing things will be better VERY SOON

Things will get better charlene, just be patient, be strong and be optimistic....
Do not entertain negative thoughts, it will just discourage, weaken and pull you down....

And try not to cry as much as possible, this is the moment you don't waste time on tears
coz you will only end up in self pity and feeling sorry for yourself and your family.....

Focus on fighting your case and never get distracted.....and keep praying that eveything will work out on your favor...

[britishdetained]

Things will get better charlene, just be patient, be strong and be optimistic....
Do not entertain negative thoughts, it will just discourage, weaken and pull you down....

And try not to cry as much as possible, this is the moment you don't waste time on tears
coz you will only end up in self pity and feeling sorry for yourself and your family.....

Focus on fighting your case and never get distracted.....and keep praying that eveything will work out on your favor...

Its absolutely incredible. Araignment was cancelled and moved to 12 August coz no Fiscal avaible as they are all attended an inaguration

Dont know if ill be happy or not but im more concerned about Kevin's detention. Hope this is not another deleying tactics from the court as they knew the case is dismissable

[Sophie]

Its absolutely incredible. Araignment was cancelled and moved to 12 August coz no Fiscal avaible as they are all attended an inaguration

Dont know if ill be happy or not but im more concerned about Kevin's detention. Hope this is not another deleying tactics from the court as they knew the case is dismissable

Just keep on encouraging kevin and try to uplift his spirit as he must be really exhausted in jail and feeling down.....
Tell him to hold on a little longer and be patient and assure him that this will be all over soon.....
Hopefully the arraignment next month will push through already....

[Happy_Now]

Correct Mrs Britishdetained... Be strong!; think positive, look forward
because, if you are worrying and thinking negative, you will become sad, no appetite which make you weak. If you are weak, of course your immune system is low, if your immune system is low, madali kang mahawaan ng sakit.. If you get ill, another problem
See? look positively, think everything will be fine and truth will prevail. Have faith to God that He will provide good people to help you. Be inspired with the love of your family. ok?

[britishdetained]

Thank you Happy Now... bytheway im glad to know your hubby is getting better now. I know WE Filipinas are really strong and can cope up for every storm or even cyclone coming to our lives...

Just feel blessed as im loved and im in love

[Jay&Zobel]

Oh Charlene, I've been reading your posts/threads and I don't know what to say really if I was in your situation. But please know that we empathize with you.

You are a very strong woman, keep it that way. Take care always.

[britishdetained]

Oh Charlene, I've been reading your posts/threads and I don't know what to say really if I was in your situation. But please know that we empathize with you.

You are a very strong woman, keep it that way. Take care always.

I need to be strong i guess if not i will end up in mental. just blessed coz people are supporting kevin and i really

I told Kevin taht whatever happens he need not to worry as im here for him and i wont stop till i get him out in that mess.

[Florge]

Charlene,

Please know that you are still lucky despite everything that has happened. Your family is still with you.. you can still see your children. I lost a sister 2 days before Christmas 2007. And like you, I have never thought that a tragedy like this would happen to our family. She died in my arms and I always feel my heart breaking again whenever I think of her. But I have to remain strong for my family, especially my parents, as I am the eldest. A day after my sister was buried, an uncle died. A few months after, my dad was hospitalized for a month and we owe people so much money because of that. Then a cousin had a motorcyle accident and is in a coma until now.

Why am I sharing this? I just want you to know that there's no reason for you to be weak now. There are others who have experienced worse than what you and I have experienced. Laban lang ng laban. That's life.

Keep us updated with your case. There's always hope.. and there's always an answer to any problem.

[britishdetained]

Charlene,

Please know that you are still lucky despite everything that has happened. Your family is still with you.. you can still see your children. I lost a sister 2 days before Christmas 2007. And like you, I have never thought that a tragedy like this would happen to our family. She died in my arms and I always feel my heart breaking again whenever I think of her. But I have to remain strong for my family, especially my parents, as I am the eldest. A day after my sister was buried, an uncle died. A few months after, my dad was hospitalized for a month and we owe people so much money because of that. Then a cousin had a motorcyle and is in a coma until now.

Why am I sharing this? I just want you to know that there's no reason for you to be weak now. There are others who have experienced worse than what you and I have experienced. Laban lang ng laban. That's life.

Keep us updated with your case. There's always hope.. and there's always an answer to any problem.

thank you for sharing you for sharing your story...

i always try to be strong especially when im infront of kevin. just really hope i can really take him out there and the truth will come out soon