1066 & All That ...

[Arthur Little]

... is a satirical, tongue-in-cheek parody charting memorable and significant events in the History of England. Co-written by early 20th century humorists W.C. Sellar (a Scot) and Potuguese-born R.J. Yeatman, it purported to contain "all its readers needed to know" about their country's past from Roman times up until the Great War. First serialised in the popular 'Punch' magazine (for whom Sellar and Yeats both worked) it was finally published in one slim volume [circa 1930].

Mention 'Ten Sixty-Six' and, in terms of word(s) association, most modern Britons immediately conjure up notions of the famous Battle of Hastings culminating in the *Norman Conquest (incidentally this was the *name of one of my daughter's schoolteachers about 25 years ago ... except that he taught chemistry and NOT history!).

As for ME ... well ... being a 'mine of use[?less] information - and at the risk of "boring the pants off" my fellow members - I simply thought it worthy of comment that THIS will be my 1,066th post, and it seemed a novel way of marking the event.

[KeithD]

When I seen 1066 Arthur, I thought it was your memoirs

[Sophie]

... is a satirical, tongue-in-cheek parody charting memorable and significant events in the History of England. Co-written by early 20th century humorists W.C. Sellar (a Scot) and Potuguese-born R.J. Yeatman, it purported to contain "all its readers needed to know" about their country's past from Roman times up until the Great War. First serialised in the popular 'Punch' magazine (for whom Sellar and Yeats both worked) it was finally published in one slim volume [circa 1930].

Mention 'Ten Sixty-Six' and, in terms of word(s) association, most modern Britons immediately conjure up notions of the famous Battle of Hastings culminating in the *Norman Conquest (incidentally this was the *name of one of my daughter's schoolteachers about 25 years ago ... except that he taught chemistry and NOT history!).

As for ME ... well ... being a 'mine of use[?less] information - and at the risk of "boring the pants off" my fellow members - I simply thought it worthy of comment that THIS will be my 1,066th post, and it seemed a novel way of marking the event.

good one arthur

[Arthur Little]

good one arthur

Thanks, Sophie.

[Jay&Zobel]

... I simply thought it worthy of comment that THIS will be my 1,066th post, and it seemed a novel way of marking the event.

Yay, congratulations Arthur! Few more posts & you'll be reaching the 2000th

[Arturo]

- I simply thought it worthy of comment that THIS will be my 1,066th post, and it seemed a novel way of marking the event.

Well done mate.. thats one in the eye for the others.....eh!

[Pepe n Pilar]

Congratulations Arthur!...

[Arthur Little]

Well done mate.. thats one in the eye for the others.....eh!

Congratulations Arthur!...

Thanks folks.

[Arthur Little]

Well done mate.. thats one in the eye for the others.....eh!

Ahhh, I see ... even though poor old King Harold COULDN'T ... after his eye was pierced by the Norman bowman's arrow.

Bang on target, mate!

[Arthur Little]

When I seen 1066 Arthur, I thought it was your memoirs

I might LOOK like Methuselah, Keith - but I'm not quite THAT old ... ... YET ...!

[Arturo]

Ahhh, I see ... even though poor old King Harold COULDN'T ... after his eye was pierced by the Norman bowman's arrow.

Bang on target, mate!

Hi,

Funny you brought up 1066, originally my family were from around the hasting area. And in the old family bible...dating back to 1065, is a mention of a Egbert Swithelthorn. Seem he's also mentioned somewhere in either the Doomsday book or some Parish records.

Its recorded that he was "taken" as a bound field hand to fight for Harolds "crush", the batch of raw "troops" armed basically with farm tools to take the brunt of an horse charge from the enemy.

Anyway, he was on the fore shore collecting drift wood for camp fires and he saw out at sea in the distance.. a lot of small ships heading directly at them, he saw the flags and banners and realised that these were the battle colours of the French knights and mercenaries.

He raced back to the main camp and blurted out his sightings...out of breath and talking in a reet broad country dialect, he was thought to be drunk... and sent on his way with a slight kicking. Quickly he found a knight in full armer and his squire shining up the knights sword. Again he blurted out his sightings report.

The Knight listened and said.... Not really my thing old boy, nip orf to the immigration chaps, France is full of immigrants waiting to get into England so they need to meet them on the beach!

Too late, the French ships had landed just has Egbert rushed into the tavern where the King and his trusted knights were have a quick pint of meade and a game of arrors.... Bursting through the door, Egbert shouted..." Quick the f.... before he could finish his words.. a loud scream went up.
King Harold had just thrown a corker for double top to win...put off his aim..the dart hit the wire...bounced back and wacked him in the eye.

....French are here" finished Egbert..looking at the bleeding King.
Unstinting and un-phased Harold quickly run down the Beach to lead his men, tripped over his sword and fell flat on his face, knocked out cold.
As the battle roared on... about 10,000 English troops all ran over the prostrate King...who..obviously never got up again.

Now, as William surged forward and claimed England has his own, the scribes were already writing the stort to send back to France so that his Mrs, Matilda, waiting in Byern could get on with her tapestry.

William knew that if it became known that his army had actually beat the leaderless English, his success would have been degraded and it would not be William the Conquerer, he would become known as Bill the bloody lucky.

Looking down he saw the dart in Harolds eye and called his scribes, " Look "...he said pointing at the dart. "Thees ees han harrrow frum my special troop new whepon" ) his Normandy accent was different to what the real French spoke) " Enter into history that the English King was hit in the eye and died instantly.

As the years to come woul dshow... this was to became teh norm.. the English typically lead by an incomptetant pillock and the French always ready to come up with a load of Bull s**t to make them look good.

As for our Egbert, he went to Scotland and changed his name to Brown, thinking he could forget his roots and start a family, his first son he named George and it became a family tradition....

And thats the real story of 1066.