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Thread: Jokes from their homes

  1. #1
    Respected Member Pepe n Pilar's Avatar
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    Jokes from their homes

    Tawa muna tayo

    1. Frederique - We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.
    Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen? “Kapre yun ma’am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na tuy!”

    2. Ivan – Kid : “Yaya look, boats!”
    Yaya: “Dows are not boats, they’re yachts.”
    Kid : “Yaya, spell yachts?”
    Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”

    3. Sam – Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office..
    Doc: “Bottlefed?”
    Woman: “Breastfed po.” (Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts repeatedly)
    Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”
    Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”

    4. William & Luli – The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
    She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor: “Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!”

    5. No name – My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
    Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”

    6. Cutie Girl – Yaya: “Huhuhu…”
    Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”
    Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
    Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”
    Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”
    Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”
    Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”
    Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”
    Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”

    7. Curt Smith – Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”

    (Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”
    Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”

    8. Fuzzy Secretary – Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform. I angrily asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?”
    She answered: “Secret!”

    9. Dew Berry – After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out: “Ang pangit naman, happy ending!”

    10. No name – Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”
    Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”
    Mom: “It’s up to you.” (During dinner)
    Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”
    Yaya: “Di'ba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko, sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”

    11. Aries – Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”

    12. Abelski – Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can at isang Sprite na Coke in can…”

    13. Ken - SIR : “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!”
    INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”
    SIR : “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”
    INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”

    14. No name – Ate: “O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”
    Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”
    Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
    Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!”

    15. Geyp – We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
    Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?” Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”

    16. S44 – Neighbor’s yaya telling her ward to climb down the stairs: “Down to earth! Down to earth!”


    17. Astroboy – We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son. So one day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.
    Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered: “Parang Watson’s yata…”

    18. No name – Sir : “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”
    Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”
    Sir : “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”
    Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”

    19. Ivan – Yaya sumakay sa tricycle.... ...
    Yaya: “Magkano sa City Hall?”
    Driver: “Ikaw lang?”
    Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”

    20. Jun13 – Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya........ ........
    Kuya: “Yaya…” Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”
    Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”
    Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”

    21. Mr. Perk – Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”
    Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”

    22. Yñaki – Midget Yaya who was newly hired: “Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo. At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”

    23. Geyp – (after being scolded for breaking her promises): “Ma’am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”

    24. Jose de vengenge – Yaya buys food at McDo. Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?” Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”

    25. Ivan – AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”
    MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”
    AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”
    MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.”

    26. Ehem - Yaya picking up the phone saying: “ Hilo ?” We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
    We told her, “Yaya, baliktad!” Then Yaya said: “Lohi?”

    " The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best" don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes....
    They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by... "


  2. #2
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    LOL.. classic!!!


  3. #3
    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    super nakakatawa!


  4. #4
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    Hey guys my Tagalog is not that good yet!


    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  5. #5
    Respected Member Pepe n Pilar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigel View Post
    Hey guys my Tagalog is not that good yet!

    HI Nigel,
    I want to translate this to English when i have time... But sometimes it is funny if it is in tagalog... anyway...i will try..
    " The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best" don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes....
    They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by... "


  6. #6
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe n Pilar View Post
    HI Nigel,
    I want to translate this to English when i have time... But sometimes it is funny if it is in tagalog... anyway...i will try..
    Awwww don't worry I was just being a silly!

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




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