Am I being fooled???

[Tawi2]

Difficult call,when you marry a pinay you dont always marry the family,depends upon the individual,some owe more allegiance to their husband others still feel more love towards their family,and some are torn in two with utang na loobWomen cant be categorised,Oh my filipina wife is submissive,she is quiet,she does this...she does that....thats crap,women the world over are exactly the same though countries like pinas place a greater emphasis on family collectives rather than the individuality we do here in the west,hence their reliance on ang pamilya,she is wrong about we dont chat about things like this openly in Pinas,I have known women who were 110% honest and open with me,and that was and is also from Dabaw,I think you might have a few surprises in store reading between the lines

[Tawi2]

Frantic desire to get married ASAPHear that sound?Its alarm bells ringing in the distance,you could be the last train out of town Lots of guys jump in out of their depth,meet a nice lady online,fall for her smile,her sweet words,marry in haste repent at leisure is a truism,I have seen it with dozens,maybe hundreds of guys over the years living here,in Hong Kong or the time I spent in Pinas,sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt,but 9 times out of 10 the one who wanted the rush wedding was the lady

[Tawi2]

In her defence however can I just say if you really,truly,deeply love a woman enough to accept her "Baggage"(and I hate that term as I have some of my own)then you should also be prepared to carry it for her as she has struggled with it for a while and its heavy

[pacificelectric]

Frantic desire to get married ASAP

Yes, frantic. When I told her we should first go to the Embassy and apply for a Certificate of no Impediment and would have to wait several months for the response she was just distressed and wondered why we could not just marry when I walked off the plane. No kidding! This can be acceptable for a young Pinay but she is 50 and when she married first, that was with her college bf, and they dated 7 years before saying "I do"......

[Tawi2]

Pacific,your going to get ladies later telling you give her the benefit of the doubt.....Understand her.....etc.....etc....etc,you know why?Because they empathise more,Trader Dave is giving you wise counsel,no offence intended to Dave but I know he has been about a bit,he knows the score,no woman would be desperate to marry you without meeting unless...........Go into the kitchen,get your egg timer and turn it over,see the sands of time running out?Always be a bit wary,its like the sands at Morcambe Bay,it all looks the same to the inexperienced eye,but some will suck you under,some will be firm and support you,step back and examine the situation from a different angle

[trader dave]

Pacific,your going to get ladies later telling you give her the benefit of the doubt.....Understand her.....etc.....etc....etc,you know why?Because they empathise more,Trader Dave is giving you wise counsel,no offence intended to Dave but I know he has been about a bit,he knows the score,no woman would be desperate to marry you without meeting unless...........Go into the kitchen,get your egg timer and turn it over,see the sands of time running out?Always be a bit wary,its like the sands at Morcambe Bay,it all looks the same to the inexperienced eye,but some will suck you under,some will be firm and support you,step back and examine the situation from a different angle

thanks tawi you just put it a little more diplomaticly than me you have such a way with words

[Tawi2]

thanks tawi you just put it a little more diplomaticly than me you have such a way with words

Dave,we used to call it pussy-whipped,a guy would get involved with the first woman who flashed him a smile,its a waste of time saying avoid her because remember when your mum said "Dave dont do that" whats the first thing you did when she turned her back? Its always best to learn by experience,she is a cruel teacher but you never forget her lessons

[britishdetained]

Dave,we used to call it pussy-whipped,a guy would get involved with the first woman who flashed him a smile,its a waste of time saying avoid her because remember when your mum said "Dave dont do that" whats the first thing you did when she turned her back? Its always best to learn by experience,she is a cruel teacher but you never forget her lessons

i never learned my lesson then

[britishdetained]

Yes, frantic. When I told her we should first go to the Embassy and apply for a Certificate of no Impediment and would have to wait several months for the response she was just distressed and wondered why we could not just marry when I walked off the plane. No kidding! This can be acceptable for a young Pinay but she is 50 and when she married first, that was with her college bf, and they dated 7 years before saying "I do"......

Marriage is something you must plan well. No reason for a rush especially if not all the cards are laid on the table.

[Tawi2]

Marriage is something you must plan well. No reason for a rush especially if not all the cards are laid on the table.

Let me tell you something,you impress me more and more,Kevin has a good catchPacific,she panicked when you mentioned the delay in wedding plans because she thought the train was pulling out of the station and she hadnt got her ticket,pinas is a matriarchal society,its run by the women,even their president is a woman,BUT its the guys who pull the strings,your a guy,lay out your cards on the table,show her your hand then ask to see hers(check her sleeve,just in case she has an ace secreted away up there)Its not being chauvenistic,thats a concept that hasnt surfaced over there yet I have had relationships with a number of women over there from a number of different social backgrounds,they all wanted/expected me to take control,they actually told me that,your the one sitting in the drivers seat mate,most pinays wont burn their bras and shout for womens lib

[britishdetained]

]Let me tell you something,you impress me more and more,Kevin has a good catch[/B]Pacific,she panicked when you mentioned the delay in wedding plans because she thought the train was pulling out of the station and she hadnt got her ticket,pinas is a matriarchal society,its run by the women,even their president is a woman,BUT its the guys who pull the strings,your a guy,lay out your cards on the table,show her your hand then ask to see hers(check her sleeve,just in case she has an ace secreted away up there)Its not being chauvenistic,thats a concept that hasnt surfaced over there yet I have had relationships with a number of women over there from a number of different social backgrounds,they all wanted/expected me to take control,they actually told me that,your the one sitting in the drivers seat mate,most pinays wont burn their bras and shout for womens lib

I hope so...just trying to be honest with pacific

Remember this...you need to check out first the best shoes for you before you purchase it! Marriage is something that you must plan very well. Besides, it is her that you are marrying (if it can be) but her children should not be your burden (gosh they are old already..) Its shameful but true many pinays want white guy for MONEY. But remember your the guy...you must be in control of your life. Nobody must point a gun on your head to tell you WHAT SHE WANTS.

[Tawi2]

Well said Its normally deflowered disgraced virgins who are marched quickly down the aisle to avoid shame you have made several uncertain posts in the past,you have an underlying current of unease,something you feel isnt quite right but you cant quite put your finger on it,your the guy,the head of the household,you pay the bills,you make the arrangements,your the one who says green for go!But she certainly wants you putting a ring on her finger PDQ and thats got to set alarms ringing seeing as how you only met her scant months ago,lots of guys never meet their true soul-mate,they settle for an "almost" woman,she is almost perfect but they dont have many options so they take whats available,its always best to hold out a little,the world still turns,life still goes on but the planet is filled with women