Am I being fooled???

[pacificelectric]

well then that's good you offered ,has she ever asked for large amounts of money of expensive things ?

i've got 2 step kids, thou they are a lot younger than your g/fs, from the start they were included in our plans b4 we married. looks like you've both have not agreed on this yet. maybe you should ask her what she truly wants for her kids. as i've said maybe she is embarrassed to ask you to help support her kids.. so maybe your not being fooled

She actually never asked for money, although she has made it clear from the start that as a widow with three children she needed to budget things but she never asked for anything.... and she showed me the invoice of the dermatologist on webcam!

[Matt7]

She actually never asked for money, although she has made it clear from the start that as a widow with three children she needed to budget things but she never asked for anything.... and she showed me the invoice of the dermatologist on webcam!

I don't think the problem is that she's spending the money legitimately. I think its that you've given her so much money with no real structure to the relationship. To me, you've perceived this as a handout and are worried she'll come to expect more from you as a result of this. You may be right, you may be wrong.

But in my humble opinion throwing money around isn't going to help anybody, money is no foundation to build a relationship on

[Jay&Zobel]

Are you serious? I have a friend who performs diamond peels for the wealthy in Makati (the business district in Metro Manila) and those don't cost half of what you sent! And your lady friend lives in Davao (a place where the cost of living is lower). I'm honestly shocked that you fell for this hook, line and sinker.

Guys, please don't fall of the sob stories you hear (e.g. pawning stuff off? and diamond peels aren't necessities). It's quite saddening to read so many posts from guys who feel that they're helping when in fact they're only making things worse by continuing the notion that those women have that white men have all the money in the world and that it's only fair to share that money with every Tina, Donna and Laura that "needed" it.

But in my humble opinion throwing money around isn't going to help anybody, money is no foundation to build a relationship on

Very true!!!

[joebloggs]

She actually never asked for money, although she has made it clear from the start that as a widow with three children she needed to budget things but she never asked for anything.... and she showed me the invoice of the dermatologist on webcam!

well a good point is her children are not children any more, the youngest is nearly 18, maybe she can get a job in France and use part of her wage to support her kids (that's what my misses does).

you just need to get her to talk about it, easier said than done thou

are you French or a Brit living in France ?

[Tawi2]

Chi si marita in fretta, stenta adagio,marry in haste repent at leisure,ask her whats the rush,you obviously dont feel comfortable at the speed its going hence the thread,maybe you should apply the brakes just enough to be in full control,but as I said earlier if your willing to accept a woman with baggage its your duty as a man to carry it for her when she tires.

[pacificelectric]

well a good point is her children are not children any more, the youngest is nearly 18, maybe she can get a job in France and use part of her wage to support her kids (that's what my misses does).

you just need to get her to talk about it, easier said than done thou

are you French or a Brit living in France ?

I am a French living in France and I do not believe she can be successful on the job market at 50 with no knowledge of the language and in fact I doubt her children are interested in following her over here.....

[Sim11UK]

Am i missing the point here?

In the email she sent you, it sounds like she is being realistically cautious.
She's waiting to make plans, until you meet properly in person.

From some of your other posts Pacific, I've been getting the impression it's you who is keen to marry quickly?

You haven't met yet...you need to spend time together, a good amount of time, before you make any plans.

Caution has always been advised on this forum, about sending money, to someone you haven't met in person.

[pacificelectric]

From some of your other posts Pacific, I've been getting the impression it's you who is keen to marry quickly?

You haven't met yet...you need to spend time together, a good amount of time, before you make any plans.

I do not think I would rush into a marriage especially after a very bad experience a few years ago....