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  1. #1
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Unhappy Understanding teens...

    Was deadly worried today as never in the past years my eldest daugther come home late. It was almost past 8 this evening when my sister and I noticed that my eldest daugther is not home yet. Since I am so pre occupied with Kevin and my other young ones...I dont really check on my eldest. I set rules in the house to which everybody must follows. Because I am the eldest in the family, they all knew that at 6pm everyone must be home. So then I thought my daugther would be following the rule that I set.

    Before, one of the yayas knocked at my room and almost in tears as she found out that Coullene is not in her room. So the I checked it as I dont really see her, went to other rooms, and even asked my neighbor if they saw her. I was in panic call the school and asked what time she finished school today...and the guard told me that he saw her going out around 3 PM with her classmates. I need to drive to where her school service lives and asked why he didnt pick her up. He then just said he thought I picked her from school. I drive around the area trying to look for her...phoned everyone and no answer. Then my sister and I was surprised to see her walking near the guard house. Angrily, stopped the car and asked her to get in. My sister started nagging her as I dont know how to start with her.

    When we got home I asked her to go to her room and change. After few minutes I knocked and asked if I can speak to her. I try to be calm though my body still shaking as I knew it was late for her to be home. I asked where she went and why she never informed me of her plans. She just told me she went to her classmate's birthday party. Told her off by not asking permission, and by going home too late. She start crying and told me I should not get angry as she just went to a party. I explained why I am angry, I told her I am not angry to her but to what she did. Explained that she is only 11 years old and that age she must not go anywhere without me knowing it especially now that we still have problems. Burst into tears and told me that she is OLD ENOUGH and can handle her self...


    Oh...this is the hard time having teens in the house. Cant understand her at all. But as a mum has to have patient and extra understanding. Dont know what to do with her at the moment. Cant really allow her with going out especially at her age.
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  2. #2
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    My son is worse,my goodness the schemes and machinations in his mind make my blood BOIL but then when he smiles I never had a daughter so cant speak from experience,but you have to explain bad things happen sometimes in this life,tell her not every man is as nice as her dad or grandfather,tell her your laying down a set of rules that need to be adhered to for a reason,tell her you love her and that makes you worry about her safety,give her a cell-phone so theres always contact,make sure its always got some load on it,explain its for emergencies and she must keep it handy at all times.I was in Polomolok 2 years ago,maybe 3 2 schoolgirls got into a tricycle,the driver took them just outside of town where his drunken friends were waiting,the girls bodies were found in a sugar-cane field,children are never really fully aware of the dangers



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  3. #3
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    My son is worse,my goodness the schemes and machinations in his mind make my blood BOIL but then when he smiles I never had a daughter so cant speak from experience,but you have to explain bad things happen sometimes in this life,tell her not every man is as nice as her dad or grandfather,tell her your laying down a set of rules that need to be adhered to for a reason,tell her you love her and that makes you worry about her safety,give her a cell-phone so theres always contact,make sure its always got some load on it,explain its for emergencies and she must keep it handy at all times.I was in Polomolok 2 years ago,maybe 3 2 schoolgirls got into a tricycle,the driver took them just outside of town where his drunken friends were waiting,the girls bodies were found in a sugar-cane field,children are never really fully aware of the dangers
    Its really terrible eh...have to have a long string of patience to understand her. I gave her cellphone but she always switch it off and will have alot of excuses why it should not be switched on. I have been telling her how would it be dangerous for her to be outside especially at night, but then just ignores me at all. Most of the time I would blame myself for not being with her. She grew up with my dad's and my sister. When I gave birth to her, coz I was only 19 then...my father didnt gave her to me. She grew up thinking that I am her eldest sister coz even in her BC her paprent are my parents...that time just have to follow my dad as I needed to finish my studies. Then only last year, Kevin able to have my dads approval to tell her the truth about me and she living with us. I think it is something to do with that...O guess. But I am trying to be a good mum and a friend to her. But ost often she will just ignor me and even would tell me, why would I care...she didnt grew up with me and she only knew me as her sister. Wish she would really understand me not allowing her going out. I even tried inviting her friends in the house so she wont say im very strict. How would I get to understand teenager?
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  4. #4
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Complex story,but not unusual in Pinas we both know that,hope she isnt going through a wild-phase,but she is only 11 Boys are different,my sons 12 but he knows when my eyes widen and my voice is low and quiet fireworks are about to start I have never hit him,I always threaten to kick his ass,he just laughs,but when my voice is at full volume he is sensible enough to be on his best behaviour for a few weeks.Tell her if she turns off the phone your going to take it away from her,it was bought as a communication tool,if its switched off its uncontactable so whats the use of her having it?Ground her?Theres loads of people on here with similarly aged daughters,anyone else going through the same sort of thing with a girl?Whats the answer?



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  5. #5
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Complex story,but not unusual in Pinas we both know that,hope she isnt going through a wild-phase,but she is only 11 Boys are different,my sons 12 but he knows when my eyes widen and my voice is low and quiet fireworks are about to start I have never hit him,I always threaten to kick his ass,he just laughs,but when my voice is at full volume he is sensible enough to be on his best behaviour for a few weeks.Tell her if she turns off the phone your going to take it away from her,it was bought as a communication tool,if its switched off its uncontactable so whats the use of her having it?Ground her?Theres loads of people on here with similarly aged daughters,anyone else going through the same sort of thing with a girl?Whats the answer?
    yeah sad but true...my life is a big hell diffirent really. During that time all i need to do was to follow my dad or I'll loose everything. But Coullene went through counselling ;last year for her to understand the complexity of the situation. She went good with that. Only started these problems early June...her attitude on being so independent really annoys me at all.
    I used that technique...lowering your voice, making your eyes big but...i think my eye balls would pop out my eyes and she would just ignores me or just do the total opposite. I thought at that age they would be contented playing in their room or reading...got her own cp but always switch off-give her freedom to have visitors but then she prefers going out..I even chat with her every night but not interested at all.
    Im more protective as she is female and it is alot hell dangerous having a her out at night especially she doesnt look like 11
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  6. #6
    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    Charlene, those days when we only play patintero or piko in the neighbourhood is over. I don't have a teenager yet, but we are also worried about our kids because they have no sense of fear. I think we just have to keep on reminding them of the do's and never's, and tell them beforehand the consequences if they disobey.
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


  7. #7
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    Charlene, those days when we only play patintero or piko in the neighbourhood is over. I don't have a teenager yet, but we are also worried about our kids because they have no sense of fear. I think we just have to keep on reminding them of the do's and never's, and tell them beforehand the consequences if they disobey.
    I hope my love for her would be enough for her to understand me why its a big NO NO going out at night. Really trying my hardest to be close to her and somehow scare her of what outside can do for her
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  8. #8
    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by britishdetained View Post
    I hope my love for her would be enough for her to understand me why its a big NO NO going out at night. Really trying my hardest to be close to her and somehow scare her of what outside can do for her
    I was once an angry child ( ), and I can still remember the days when I go past my curfew, and had to climb up the gates to get in the house! Your 11 year old is still young, and she will only see your advices as criticms. (That's how I felt at that time) You can only wait for her to mature a bit to understand that mummy knows best!
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


  9. #9
    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    and since your dad told her the real score...she now have no choice but to understand that. you can't limit yourself as a mother specially now. Eitherway, what you're asking from her is respect, that even an older sister should get, di ba?
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


  10. #10
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    and since your dad told her the real score...she now have no choice but to understand that. you can't limit yourself as a mother specially now. Eitherway, what you're asking from her is respect, that even an older sister should get, di ba?
    youre right...I has to accept me and understand why im being angry. Sometimes t am thinking what other option to use...softie one or the firm one? She thinks she is a teenager and old enough to handle herself...
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  11. #11
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    I was once an angry child ( ), and I can still remember the days when I go past my curfew, and had to climb up the gates to get in the house! Your 11 year old is still young, and she will only see your advices as criticms. (That's how I felt at that time) You can only wait for her to mature a bit to understand that mummy knows best!
    actually i think im trying to be a better mum for her. as when i was young, gosh didnt got any friends and never allowed out. my parents are very very very strict...im not even allowed to stay in the living room only school and my bedroom! But with her, every weekend I send her to her voice lesson school, then she can go out with her friends but with the yaya and go back before 6 but dont know what else i should do..
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  12. #12
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    My lads 19 and just starting puberty mood swings!
    Keith - Administrator


  13. #13
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Who in here is watching SKINS or have watched any of the episodes? It's utterly shocking Drugs, Sex & Violence in teenagers.


  14. #14
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    well, I always believe in treating the child like an adult by levelling with him/her... shouting, throwing things, widening one's eyes would work for toddlers... but since your daughter is, as you say, independent, she would appreciate it if you talk to her as a friend... that's what she needs now...

    well, just my 2 cents worth... who knows, it might work! good luck!


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