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Thread: Understanding teens...

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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Unhappy Understanding teens...

    Was deadly worried today as never in the past years my eldest daugther come home late. It was almost past 8 this evening when my sister and I noticed that my eldest daugther is not home yet. Since I am so pre occupied with Kevin and my other young ones...I dont really check on my eldest. I set rules in the house to which everybody must follows. Because I am the eldest in the family, they all knew that at 6pm everyone must be home. So then I thought my daugther would be following the rule that I set.

    Before, one of the yayas knocked at my room and almost in tears as she found out that Coullene is not in her room. So the I checked it as I dont really see her, went to other rooms, and even asked my neighbor if they saw her. I was in panic call the school and asked what time she finished school today...and the guard told me that he saw her going out around 3 PM with her classmates. I need to drive to where her school service lives and asked why he didnt pick her up. He then just said he thought I picked her from school. I drive around the area trying to look for her...phoned everyone and no answer. Then my sister and I was surprised to see her walking near the guard house. Angrily, stopped the car and asked her to get in. My sister started nagging her as I dont know how to start with her.

    When we got home I asked her to go to her room and change. After few minutes I knocked and asked if I can speak to her. I try to be calm though my body still shaking as I knew it was late for her to be home. I asked where she went and why she never informed me of her plans. She just told me she went to her classmate's birthday party. Told her off by not asking permission, and by going home too late. She start crying and told me I should not get angry as she just went to a party. I explained why I am angry, I told her I am not angry to her but to what she did. Explained that she is only 11 years old and that age she must not go anywhere without me knowing it especially now that we still have problems. Burst into tears and told me that she is OLD ENOUGH and can handle her self...


    Oh...this is the hard time having teens in the house. Cant understand her at all. But as a mum has to have patient and extra understanding. Dont know what to do with her at the moment. Cant really allow her with going out especially at her age.
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    My son is worse,my goodness the schemes and machinations in his mind make my blood BOIL but then when he smiles I never had a daughter so cant speak from experience,but you have to explain bad things happen sometimes in this life,tell her not every man is as nice as her dad or grandfather,tell her your laying down a set of rules that need to be adhered to for a reason,tell her you love her and that makes you worry about her safety,give her a cell-phone so theres always contact,make sure its always got some load on it,explain its for emergencies and she must keep it handy at all times.I was in Polomolok 2 years ago,maybe 3 2 schoolgirls got into a tricycle,the driver took them just outside of town where his drunken friends were waiting,the girls bodies were found in a sugar-cane field,children are never really fully aware of the dangers



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    Charlene, those days when we only play patintero or piko in the neighbourhood is over. I don't have a teenager yet, but we are also worried about our kids because they have no sense of fear. I think we just have to keep on reminding them of the do's and never's, and tell them beforehand the consequences if they disobey.
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    My son is worse,my goodness the schemes and machinations in his mind make my blood BOIL but then when he smiles I never had a daughter so cant speak from experience,but you have to explain bad things happen sometimes in this life,tell her not every man is as nice as her dad or grandfather,tell her your laying down a set of rules that need to be adhered to for a reason,tell her you love her and that makes you worry about her safety,give her a cell-phone so theres always contact,make sure its always got some load on it,explain its for emergencies and she must keep it handy at all times.I was in Polomolok 2 years ago,maybe 3 2 schoolgirls got into a tricycle,the driver took them just outside of town where his drunken friends were waiting,the girls bodies were found in a sugar-cane field,children are never really fully aware of the dangers
    Its really terrible eh...have to have a long string of patience to understand her. I gave her cellphone but she always switch it off and will have alot of excuses why it should not be switched on. I have been telling her how would it be dangerous for her to be outside especially at night, but then just ignores me at all. Most of the time I would blame myself for not being with her. She grew up with my dad's and my sister. When I gave birth to her, coz I was only 19 then...my father didnt gave her to me. She grew up thinking that I am her eldest sister coz even in her BC her paprent are my parents...that time just have to follow my dad as I needed to finish my studies. Then only last year, Kevin able to have my dads approval to tell her the truth about me and she living with us. I think it is something to do with that...O guess. But I am trying to be a good mum and a friend to her. But ost often she will just ignor me and even would tell me, why would I care...she didnt grew up with me and she only knew me as her sister. Wish she would really understand me not allowing her going out. I even tried inviting her friends in the house so she wont say im very strict. How would I get to understand teenager?
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    Charlene, those days when we only play patintero or piko in the neighbourhood is over. I don't have a teenager yet, but we are also worried about our kids because they have no sense of fear. I think we just have to keep on reminding them of the do's and never's, and tell them beforehand the consequences if they disobey.
    I hope my love for her would be enough for her to understand me why its a big NO NO going out at night. Really trying my hardest to be close to her and somehow scare her of what outside can do for her
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Complex story,but not unusual in Pinas we both know that,hope she isnt going through a wild-phase,but she is only 11 Boys are different,my sons 12 but he knows when my eyes widen and my voice is low and quiet fireworks are about to start I have never hit him,I always threaten to kick his ass,he just laughs,but when my voice is at full volume he is sensible enough to be on his best behaviour for a few weeks.Tell her if she turns off the phone your going to take it away from her,it was bought as a communication tool,if its switched off its uncontactable so whats the use of her having it?Ground her?Theres loads of people on here with similarly aged daughters,anyone else going through the same sort of thing with a girl?Whats the answer?



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by britishdetained View Post
    I hope my love for her would be enough for her to understand me why its a big NO NO going out at night. Really trying my hardest to be close to her and somehow scare her of what outside can do for her
    I was once an angry child ( ), and I can still remember the days when I go past my curfew, and had to climb up the gates to get in the house! Your 11 year old is still young, and she will only see your advices as criticms. (That's how I felt at that time) You can only wait for her to mature a bit to understand that mummy knows best!
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


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    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    and since your dad told her the real score...she now have no choice but to understand that. you can't limit yourself as a mother specially now. Eitherway, what you're asking from her is respect, that even an older sister should get, di ba?
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Complex story,but not unusual in Pinas we both know that,hope she isnt going through a wild-phase,but she is only 11 Boys are different,my sons 12 but he knows when my eyes widen and my voice is low and quiet fireworks are about to start I have never hit him,I always threaten to kick his ass,he just laughs,but when my voice is at full volume he is sensible enough to be on his best behaviour for a few weeks.Tell her if she turns off the phone your going to take it away from her,it was bought as a communication tool,if its switched off its uncontactable so whats the use of her having it?Ground her?Theres loads of people on here with similarly aged daughters,anyone else going through the same sort of thing with a girl?Whats the answer?
    yeah sad but true...my life is a big hell diffirent really. During that time all i need to do was to follow my dad or I'll loose everything. But Coullene went through counselling ;last year for her to understand the complexity of the situation. She went good with that. Only started these problems early June...her attitude on being so independent really annoys me at all.
    I used that technique...lowering your voice, making your eyes big but...i think my eye balls would pop out my eyes and she would just ignores me or just do the total opposite. I thought at that age they would be contented playing in their room or reading...got her own cp but always switch off-give her freedom to have visitors but then she prefers going out..I even chat with her every night but not interested at all.
    Im more protective as she is female and it is alot hell dangerous having a her out at night especially she doesnt look like 11
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    and since your dad told her the real score...she now have no choice but to understand that. you can't limit yourself as a mother specially now. Eitherway, what you're asking from her is respect, that even an older sister should get, di ba?
    youre right...I has to accept me and understand why im being angry. Sometimes t am thinking what other option to use...softie one or the firm one? She thinks she is a teenager and old enough to handle herself...
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  11. #11
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Teenage girls always think they are old enough to handle themselves,but by the time you have walked into the lions cage,seen the big-cats lurking in the shadows,and the door slams shut behind you its already too late 11 years old is still a kid,your the adult,she is the child,she needs to realise that.



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    I was once an angry child ( ), and I can still remember the days when I go past my curfew, and had to climb up the gates to get in the house! Your 11 year old is still young, and she will only see your advices as criticms. (That's how I felt at that time) You can only wait for her to mature a bit to understand that mummy knows best!
    actually i think im trying to be a better mum for her. as when i was young, gosh didnt got any friends and never allowed out. my parents are very very very strict...im not even allowed to stay in the living room only school and my bedroom! But with her, every weekend I send her to her voice lesson school, then she can go out with her friends but with the yaya and go back before 6 but dont know what else i should do..
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by britishdetained View Post
    youre right...I has to accept me and understand why im being angry. Sometimes t am thinking what other option to use...softie one or the firm one? She thinks she is a teenager and old enough to handle herself...
    Ask her if she really think she's old enough to understand, then if she'd say yes, then talk to her like how you would speak with an adult. Open your heart to her hoping she'd understand. It may take time, but atleast you are making yourself clear as how you, her own mother, are feeling about the whole thing starting from when you had to let her go. You, of all people, would have the best story to say and learn from. Let your children get something from your past.
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    back in 2002 a kid was walking through my village on her way home from school,six months later her skeletal remains were found in thick undergrowth in Hampshire,quite a famous case,Milly Dowler,it probably happens dozens of times a day across the world,brings incredible heartache to the family,explain these things,she thinks she is old enough to be treated as an adult,explain the harsh realities to her.



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Teenage girls always think they are old enough to handle themselves,but by the time you have walked into the lions cage,seen the big-cats lurking in the shadows,and the door slams shut behind you its already too late 11 years old is still a kid,your the adult,she is the child,she needs to realise that.
    You know your lucky as yours is a male...im having nightmares that oneday she'll get pregnant early. I told her what happened to me not listening to my parents... but she thinks she knows everything... I even told her that if she wont change ill give her back to my dad as he is very strict, sometimes i want to be a bad mum...you know the strict-nagging mum but i dont believe in that-i thought diplomacy would work...but seems like its not enough. Im only 30 but feels like im already at my 50's.
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    I even show her pictures of girls rape and killed to scare her (hopefully that would work) and even threaten her to stay at the jail during weekends if she wont change.
    She is now grounded to all liberties she is getting (cp, voice school, malling, TV in her room, allowance) and I will speak to the school why they are allowing students to go out without the school service. I hope im not being hash to her but this is the only thing i think is good for her
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  17. #17
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Your not being harsh with her at all,some kids need the gentle approach,some need shock tactics,you know her character and which one she will respond to best,let her know you have striven and struggled to give her a decent standard of living,remind her some girls are tinderas at her age in the streets selling candies and foods to earn extra pesos to keep their families afloat,a little gratitude from her wouldnt be amiss and tell her your going to kick her ass



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    and tell her your going to kick her ass
    I cant...she's taller than me
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    My lads 19 and just starting puberty mood swings!
    Keith - Administrator


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    back in 2002 a kid was walking through my village on her way home from school,six months later her skeletal remains were found in thick undergrowth in Hampshire,quite a famous case,Milly Dowler,it probably happens dozens of times a day across the world,brings incredible heartache to the family,explain these things,she thinks she is old enough to be treated as an adult,explain the harsh realities to her.
    Coincidentally the Police questioned a fella yesterday

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle6738403.ece

    It seems this vile Bellfield creature is responsible but the Police haven't the evidence. Didn't he live near Walton Railway Station ?


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    I know he has just been released,its big news at the moment,I dont know if he lived up by the train station however,he is gypsy stock,the houses around the station if you know the area are 500K+ properties,not saying he didnt live around there,just that most people there are commuters and inner city workers,he would have stood out like a sore thumb with a Daewoo Edited to add,I just asked someone,apparently it was his girlfriend who lived in the Village,he himself lived over Hounslow way they think.



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  22. #22
    Respected Member Happy_Now's Avatar
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    hello Mrs britishdetained,
    yap,i agree that raising teenager is not easy on this generation. I had 4 kids (23, 20, 18, 16) But i praise God, He gave me wisdom to understand my kids. Everyone of them had different attitudes, (tahimik pero nasa loob ang kulo) (mabunganga pro trabaho ng trabaho) (eldest ay disiplinado pero magaan ang kamay) (bunso, tamad pero masipag manghingi ng pera haha)... Good thing is, they respected me as their mom & God is the head of our family... Oh what a wonderful feelin when you have grown kids walkin on the streets laughin together "akbayan" havin jokes, laffin and sometimes nakikipaghabulan pa sa kanila...

    What can i advice you is "make friends with them. Try to get her feeling. Give quality time on her, ask her problem, her subjects, her "crush" or boyfriend. Let her speak to you as a friend not a mom.. This days, teenager are revelious. Hard to insists what we want, but all they need is understanding, an ear to listen what is in their heart...
    "Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city"...
    (Psalm 31:21)


  23. #23
    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy_Now View Post
    hello Mrs britishdetained,
    yap,i agree that raising teenager is not easy on this generation. I had 4 kids (23, 20, 18, 16) But i praise God, He gave me wisdom to understand my kids. Everyone of them had different attitudes, (tahimik pero nasa loob ang kulo) (mabunganga pro trabaho ng trabaho) (eldest ay disiplinado pero magaan ang kamay) (bunso, tamad pero masipag manghingi ng pera haha)... Good thing is, they respected me as their mom & God is the head of our family... Oh what a wonderful feelin when you have grown kids walkin on the streets laughin together "akbayan" havin jokes, laffin and sometimes nakikipaghabulan pa sa kanila...

    What can i advice you is "make friends with them. Try to get her feeling. Give quality time on her, ask her problem, her subjects, her "crush" or boyfriend. Let her speak to you as a friend not a mom.. This days, teenager are revelious. Hard to insists what we want, but all they need is understanding, an ear to listen what is in their heart...
    thanks for the advise happy now. today i gave her the house chores she is the one assigned washing all the dishes but i think she wasnt happy but i tried to explain to her that she needs to stay home and help us in the kitchen but... she really got very angry and starts throwing things wish she would understand me
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  24. #24
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Who in here is watching SKINS or have watched any of the episodes? It's utterly shocking Drugs, Sex & Violence in teenagers.


  25. #25
    Respected Member miss.piggy's Avatar
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    Throwing things?? You kidding me!!! Your daughter is trying to scare you, thinking that if she do what's she's doing now, then you would just bow to everything she wants. Be Margaret Thatcher for once! Don't let her get used to this sort of behaviour. If you need to ground her then so be it, but don't ever give up as she may just end up mocking you if you're not consistent.

    I am (so far) lucky with my two chikitings. My daughter is 6 turning 18, who always asked about getting married, etc . My son is 3, but baby-ish. That's just how far they go. If they've done something wrong, they're so quick to apologise and both me and my husband does not need to raise a tone to scare them. Nakukuha sa tingin, thank goodness! But how they'll be when they're 11 -- I don't know!
    "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


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    Respected Member britishdetained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.piggy View Post
    Throwing things?? You kidding me!!! Your daughter is trying to scare you, thinking that if she do what's she's doing now, then you would just bow to everything she wants. Be Margaret Thatcher for once! Don't let her get used to this sort of behaviour. If you need to ground her then so be it, but don't ever give up as she may just end up mocking you if you're not consistent.

    I am (so far) lucky with my two chikitings. My daughter is 6 turning 18, who always asked about getting married, etc . My son is 3, but baby-ish. That's just how far they go. If they've done something wrong, they're so quick to apologise and both me and my husband does not need to raise a tone to scare them. Nakukuha sa tingin, thank goodness! But how they'll be when they're 11 -- I don't know!
    Yes miss piggy...so annoying as messed around the kitchen and broken a couple of plates for asking her to wash it. I really needed to break my temper but then im not like that though im trying to be a hitler. Maybe tomorrow ill send her to a child psychologist as i must sort her problems before my dad comes back here. She almost made me crybut i know i should not...im very very disappointed
    There once was a girl that believed in mankind, that there was still honor and chivalry that existed in everyone of us. She also believed that everyone deserves a chance to prove oneself individually and hoped that the courtesy would be returned. That girl is dead now, and all that is left is her shadow. To give one a chance to prove thyself is a chance for you to become dwindled in the dissappointment.


  27. #27
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    Hi charlene, the most effective key really is not just to be her mom, but be her bestfriend as well....
    i'm not yet a mom so i cannot give advise on a mother's point of view
    but i can talk by experience, having been a teenager myself once....

    I was really close to my oldest sister growing up, she's like my surrogate mom,
    She pretty much guided me on what i should and should not do and what are the consequences of every action i make...
    She taught me how to make the right choices in my life and never stumble on the bad ones and regret the consequences....
    but she never forced anything on me, not even once....she gave me the free will to make up my mind and my own choices,
    she trusted me and my judgement, knowing fully well that i took her advises at heart....
    she established a trust, a bond and an open communication with me and i pretty much can open up and tell her just about anything, like a bestfriend..
    and i know that no matter what, she will never judge me and that i can really trust her....
    and most of all, she made me feel so loved and i felt so secure that whatever happens, she's the one i can run to and count on
    and she will be the first person to pick me up if i fall and be there for me for comfort and understanding, if i fail and mess up.....

    And it really worked as i pretty much have been a good girl growing up, in a sense that i never got involved in any rebelious activities....
    nor party with friends and hang out with the wrong crowd in my teen years and even in my college days....
    I never had a bf until i'm working already and mature enough to handle a relationship...
    And i chose to follow everything she told me, because i know it's the right thing...
    not because i'm afraid of her as i was never brought up in fear, but because i know how much she loves me
    and i love her so much that i cannot afford to hurt her, disappoint her and break her heart....
    coz i know, whatever mistakes i make and suffer, she will suffer just as much....
    and whatever i do that will hurt me, she will be hurt just as much or even more...
    and i just cannot bear that thought....knowing that she only wants nothing but the best for me,
    so why should i mess it up when i know better already.....

    So i can say, i pretty much lived a sheltered life and always "played it safe"...which others may find boring lol, but i definitely got no regrets...as i turned out ok, lol.....
    she inculcated in me all the values i carry with me until now and molded me to be who i am....
    My teenage years may be too safe and less fun and exciting, but it was all for the best...
    and if i'll have a chance of a do-over, i will never do it any other way......
    And this is exactly how i'm gonna raise my kids in the future

    Being a teenager is a difficult period, it's a phase where you are trying to form and find your identity
    and isn't it great to be with your daughter to witness and guide her well, in her transformation......
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  28. #28
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Befriend her,chat to her,get on her level,my sons started looking at topless women in mags He actually said "Look dad,these ladies have no bras on"(he stared at that page for a long,long time),I said "Mate,the time to get interested is when they have no bra OR panties in" Kids are changing rapidly,not like our generation,my nephew is mestiso,half Thai,very good looking,last year my sis found two packs of condoms AND VIAGRA in his school bag,he said he had bought the tablets when they were on holiday in Thailand and was going to sell them to his friends Each generation has a totally different set of issues and problems on their road to adulthood



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  29. #29
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    well, I always believe in treating the child like an adult by levelling with him/her... shouting, throwing things, widening one's eyes would work for toddlers... but since your daughter is, as you say, independent, she would appreciate it if you talk to her as a friend... that's what she needs now...

    well, just my 2 cents worth... who knows, it might work! good luck!


  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    Befriend her,chat to her,get on her level
    Each generation has a totally different set of issues and problems on their road to adulthood
    Very true, so its best to be flexible and keep up with the changing times and the issues your kids are dealing with and going through.....
    Parenthood is not all about teaching your kids, its also about learning
    you learn from your kids in thesame way you teach them...
    You don't just talk and your kids should just listen, you should hear them out as well....
    and i guess that makes you an even better parent.....
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


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