Marrying a Filipina

[britishdetained]

Well, I'd better explain this a little more clearly. I'm sorry I didn't give you more info at the start so here goes. Maritess is 25 years old and her sister, Dianne is 18. She is studying at college to be a nurse and has 3 years to go so she wouldn't be coming over until 2012.As for Maritess, we have been talking for quite a few months now. We talk nearly every day by webcam. When I talk on the phone I also talk to her parents. Maritess has a Bsc in Commerce. We just started to talk about everyday things and as I am 56 as of today I never thought about a relationship, I just enjoyed talking to her. Obviously I was aware of the age gap and as we talked I started to have feelings for her and it was the same for her and the age gap didn't seem to bother her. Yes, it did go through my mind that I was being used to get her over here but the more we talked the more I trusted her. I plan on going over there for a holiday first to see how we get on face to face. Another thing is her religion. She is am ember of Iglesia Ni Christo and this seems to be quite a radical religion, if that is the right word and she wants me to convert to her religion before we can marry. So after all that the question is ,would she be allowed to come here as my wife and could her sister come here in 2012.
Thanks for all the replies folks.
George.

First is you must realised that she cannot marry you till you convert to her religion or if she would convert to yours (which i dont think she will). So you must sort that issue first and foremost. Secondly, her sister can be allowed only for a visiting visa or a student visa...but that would cost you money. She cannot have any other visa than that as she cannot be petitoned due to her age (21 on 2012), if it is a visitors visa it will only allow her a couple of months to visit you but she will not be allowed to work. Student visa, yes she can work but only 20hrs in a week but remember she must enrolled in a college. and lastly is she will marry another brit

[aromulus]

Converting...???

It is a two way street in this world....

She has to respect your views, like you have to respect hers... What's this converting lark got to do with love for each other...???

We have a couple of professional atheists on the forum, and they did not force their strongly religious
wifes to abandon whatever they believe in for marriage purpose.

They don't mind taking the Mrs's to Church and picking them up after mass, I believe they actually encourage them to go (Enough time for a pint or three, I reckon..) and their relationship doesn't suffer, because of this mutual respect.
They will not try to convert each other.

Sorry po' but going back to my original post, I still don't like the blackmail....

Good luck.

[Pepe n Pilar]

Well, I'd better explain this a little more clearly. I'm sorry I didn't give you more info at the start so here goes. Maritess is 25 years old and her sister, Dianne is 18. She is studying at college to be a nurse and has 3 years to go so she wouldn't be coming over until 2012.As for Maritess, we have been talking for quite a few months now. We talk nearly every day by webcam. When I talk on the phone I also talk to her parents. Maritess has a Bsc in Commerce. We just started to talk about everyday things and as I am 56 as of today I never thought about a relationship, I just enjoyed talking to her. Obviously I was aware of the age gap and as we talked I started to have feelings for her and it was the same for her and the age gap didn't seem to bother her. Yes, it did go through my mind that I was being used to get her over here but the more we talked the more I trusted her. I plan on going over there for a holiday first to see how we get on face to face. Another thing is her religion. She is am ember of Iglesia Ni Christo and this seems to be quite a radical religion, if that is the right word and she wants me to convert to her religion before we can marry. So after all that the question is ,would she be allowed to come here as my wife and could her sister come here in 2012.
Thanks for all the replies folks.
George.

Hi George,
So Maritess had told you already about her religion, the INC. If i'm not mistaken anyone from this religion who wants to marry someone who is not yet an INC should be converted first ( by attending at least 13 meetings in their church,? correct me if i'm wrong)before they are allowed to get married or if not she will be ex-communicated from her church. If you have thought of this already and religion is not a big deal for you then so be it....Attendance is a must and they have a time card... did she tell you about this?

Her sister could come here via student visa, or tourist visa or marry someone who is a British citizen. I think this was already answered by one of the members/moderators in the first posts?

Best of luck to you George..

[vbkelly]

Hi George,
So Maritess had told you already about her religion, the INC. If i'm not mistaken anyone from this religion who wants to marry someone who is not yet an INC should be converted first ( by attending at least 13 meetings in their church,? correct me if i'm wrong)before they are allowed to get married or if not she will be ex-communicated from her church. If you have thought of this already and religion is not a big deal for you then so be it....Attendance is a must and they have a time card... did she tell you about this?

Her sister could come here via student visa, or tourist visa or marry someone who is a British citizen. I think this was already answered by one of the members/moderators in the first posts?

Best of luck to you George..

agree!

[KeithD]

She is am ember of Iglesia Ni Christo and this seems to be quite a radical religion, if that is the right word and she wants me to convert to her religion before we can marry.

If they do sacrifices I'll join

...and back in the real world Mr Boss ........if you do not follow any religion then it is of no meaning which banner you are under.....or tell her to convert to yours, and when she say no an gives you the reasons, tell her they are the sam reasons you can't....let her do the mental wok

[D&G]

seems like she's making demands already?? first, she wants her sister in UK with her then she wants u to convert religion?? who is wearing the trousers here?

As the old saying goes, love conquers all. People who are in different religions can definitely make a relationship work but of course it's up to u..u might like the idea of converting to her religion then go for it who knows it might be something interesting to u and open your eyes to some new experiences but also be aware that it's a lengthy process. Make sure to thoroughly discuss it with her first because it's some major decisions that u're going to make..not easy..it is definitely very important to talk about ur religious beliefs before you get ur emotions all wrapped up into it ...you need to know where the two of you stand alrighty?!

[jackmac452]

Religion..converting...maybe I'm one of the Professional Atheists on here...I do belive in God..A supreme form of conciousness...but not this stuff that we all seem to want to ram down everybody else's throat...Its a pity we cannot ask the millions of good people who have been sacrificed in the name of any religion how they feel about it all now...Rant over...back to being a nice guy now..hehehe.. Good luck to you my friend..hope it all pans out ok for you and the good lady..

[trader dave]

have not got much to say on the religion front i am c of e and the wife is a serious catholic i go to church with her sometimes


we was married by a pastor protestent in the philippines neither of us are converting to anything

[CLAMABAZ]

Thank for the birthday greeting. How did you know I was a drummer??? I hope the added information helps.
Thanks.
George.
P.S. 56 and still rockin'

[CLAMABAZ]

Thanks very mch for you all to take the time to reply. The nearest INC church to me is about 200 miles away so attending there for 13 meetings is not an option. I will have to bite the bullet and tell her this. I'll keep you posted. Thanks again.
George.

[IainBusby]

Well, I'd better explain this a little more clearly. I'm sorry I didn't give you more info at the start so here goes. Maritess is 25 years old and her sister, Dianne is 18. She is studying at college to be a nurse and has 3 years to go so she wouldn't be coming over until 2012.As for Maritess, we have been talking for quite a few months now. We talk nearly every day by webcam. When I talk on the phone I also talk to her parents. Maritess has a Bsc in Commerce. We just started to talk about everyday things and as I am 56 as of today I never thought about a relationship, I just enjoyed talking to her. Obviously I was aware of the age gap and as we talked I started to have feelings for her and it was the same for her and the age gap didn't seem to bother her. Yes, it did go through my mind that I was being used to get her over here but the more we talked the more I trusted her. I plan on going over there for a holiday first to see how we get on face to face. Another thing is her religion. She is am ember of Iglesia Ni Christo and this seems to be quite a radical religion, if that is the right word and she wants me to convert to her religion before we can marry. So after all that the question is ,would she be allowed to come here as my wife and could her sister come here in 2012.
Thanks for all the replies folks.
George.

If you have a steady job, money in the bank and suitable accommodation for yourself and your new wife then I'm pretty sure you will be able to bring to the UK to live with you.

Her sister however would be an entirely different case as she is already regarded as an adult and she would have to apply for a work visa or student visa. There are thousands of Filipino nurses who are already trained and looking to work overseas and at present the UK is only looking for highly experienced specialist nurses.

If she decided to think of studying in the UK, she would have to be accepted at a college in the UK and it's likely that the family would expect yourself and your new wife to sponsor her which is likely to cost you thousands of pounds.

As for converting to her religion, well....... I think that if your going to give into her every demand your going to have a very short marriage. Just tell her that your not asking her to convert to your religion and she should just be happy with that.

Iain.

[IainBusby]

seems like she's making demands already?? first, she wants her sister in UK with her then she wants u to convert religion?? who is wearing the trousers here?

Hi George,
As your fiancee seems to be mapping out the future as she sees it and making so many demands on you already, have you discussed the matter of family support with her, as this is something that is usually the biggest source of disagreement in Filipino/Brit marriages.

Once a foriegner marries into the family, there is usually a very high expection with regard to support and given her already high demands on you in other areas, I think it would be wise of you to get this one sorted out long before you get married....... When it comes to this subject, you really must wear the trousers.

Iain.

[pacificelectric]

Another thing is her religion. She is a member of Iglesia Ni Christo and this seems to be quite a radical religion, if that is the right word and she wants me to convert to her religion before we can marry.

Very funny...... my gf thinks i am a catholic but in fact I am an apostate (I rejected baptism!).... now I am perhaps not totally having a sound mind as some contributors know from my other postings but this is really going too far. Are you ready to wear the burqa?????

RUN AWAY....

[pacificelectric]

When it comes to this subject, you really must wear the trousers.

Iain.

And make sure there's plenty inside!

[IainBusby]

When it comes to this subject, you really must wear the trousers.

Iain.

And make sure there's plenty inside!

Money in the trouser pockets that is.

Iain.

[somebody]

The changing religion and Sister coming over hmm.

Firstly have you met in person? I think it goes without saying no commitments should be made before then

If the Sister is a Nurse she can see if she has the skills to come over herself. Some of the Wifes friends have already come to the UK as Careworkers/nurses and all are under 25. Any educating will be far cheaper in Phill than in the UK.

To have two adults move over would cost you a fortune as well as the social and possibly issues with your marriage in the early stages.

With the present climate its very unlikely to recently arrived to the UK people will stroll into Jobs also to be mentally able to seems to take 3-6 months for most of the ladies on here and that was when things were easier shall we say.

I know my Wife found it tough being here on her own at first but she was lucky enough to be able to contact family and friends, she also made friends both those originally from phill and from all over the world. I think the speaking to non phills helped her already decent English language skills to the point she is now thought of as a Brit born pinay but many!!

Would your Mahal and her sister end up rarely speaking English unless they have to?

[IainBusby]

The changing religion and Sister coming over hmm.

Firstly have you met in person? I think it goes without saying no commitments should be made before then

If the Sister is a Nurse she can see if she has the skills to come over herself. Some of the Wifes friends have already come to the UK as Careworkers/nurses and all are under 25. Any educating will be far cheaper in Phill than in the UK.

To have two adults move over would cost you a fortune as well as the social and possibly issues with your marriage in the early stages.

With the present climate its very unlikely to recently arrived to the UK people will stroll into Jobs also to be mentally able to seems to take 3-6 months for most of the ladies on here and that was when things were easier shall we say.

I know my Wife found it tough being here on her own at first but she was lucky enough to be able to contact family and friends, she also made friends both those originally from phill and from all over the world. I think the speaking to non phills helped her already decent English language skills to the point she is now thought of as a Brit born pinay but many!!

Would your Mahal and her sister end up rarely speaking English unless they have to?

I have never seen two or more Filipinas chatting away in English, they always revert to their own language whenever they get a chance.

If your new wife and sister both came here at the same time, I think it would really slow down her integration into UK society as far as speaking and understanding English is concerned because she would probably be speaking in her own Filipino dialect for about 50% of the time.

Iain.

[trader dave]

Thank for the birthday greeting. How did you know I was a drummer??? I hope the added information helps.
Thanks.
George.
P.S. 56 and still rockin'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

PLENTY OF BANGING LEFT IN AN OLDISH DRUM im only a couple of years behind so no offence intended

[joebloggs]

we was married by a pastor protestent in the philippines neither of us are converting to anything

, cannot wed until converted. we got married by a friend of the mother in-law who is a judge, all she was bothered about was the food and never mentioned religion

[CLAMABAZ]

I can only thank you for all the help. It seems I have a lot of discussing to do over the next few days. I know about supporting the family and we have discussed this at length and it is not a problem. The religion thing is going to be make or break I think. I must admit I am not thrilled about converting. The nearest INC is about 200 miles away so attending there for 13 weeks is a non starter. I would be ruined by the time I was at week 8. I will approach the religion question first and take it from there. I will keep you posted.
Thanks again.
George.

[Tawi2]

Have you been over and met the lady george?How long have you known her?

[IainBusby]

I know about supporting the family and we have discussed this at length and it is not a problem.

It might not seem a problem now, but the nature of the support is that the family will generally expect to get whatever they ask for and will ask for more and more as time goes by, as well as for "emergencies" which can run into £K's if you don't put your foot down.

The nearest INC is about 200 miles away

You should inform your intended about this, if she so serious about her religion, she might want you to move to a city where there is an INC church......... or she might even expect you to make a 400 mile round trip every Sunday so you can both attend.

Iain.

[Tawi2]

Short sharp shock test Tell her you cant possibly live up to her expectations of you nor the stipulations she is imposing upon your relationship,therefore its with heartfelt and sincere regret that you have to sever your ties with her and seek someone with lowlier expectations,and you hope she in turn finds a man to fulfill her lofty wishes and dreams watch the speed at which she does a U-Turn

[ca143]

Changing religion and sisters coming over?????????sounds demanding for me anyway just my thought...gudluck n future

[scott&ligaya]

Hi George,
with regard to this particular church, I believe they also insist on the tithe or weekly donations are something like 20% of your salary!!!! When you visit you will note that their churches are among the grandest buildings in the area.
One of our caretakers in Palawan attends and they do seem very fundamentalist in their views

[IainBusby]

Hi George,
with regard to this particular church, I believe they also insist on the tithe or weekly donations are something like 20% of your salary!!!! When you visit you will note that their churches are among the grandest buildings in the area.
One of our caretakers in Palawan attends and they do seem very fundamentalist in their views

Whaaaaaaaaaat............. Poor George, it just gets worse and worse!

[KeithD]

I know about supporting the family and we have discussed this at length and it is not a problem.

If they survived without you they will survive without your money. The best proen method is to send the family 'random bonus' goods and money. That way they appreciate it more, and do not come to live off it, whch causes laziness in the family, and then if something happens to you, or the money, they are in worse position than they are now!

Sounds like she is marrying you to feed her family and get her sis in the UK.

1000's of single Filipina's available will love you for who you are, and want nothing from you other than love. Go find one and have a happy life, you have problems before you've even start with this one.

[ca143]

Whaaaaaaaaaat............. Poor George, it just gets worse and worse!

And attendance is most....u need to attend the service 2 times a week SUNDAY and WEDNESDAY i think....

[ca143]

1000's of single Filipina's available will love you for who you are, and want nothing from you other than love. Go find one and have a happy life, you have problems before you've even start with this one.

__________________
That's the BOSS....helping verb

[Tawi2]

And attendance is most....u need to attend the service 2 times a week SUNDAY and WEDNESDAY i think....

I thought religion was about love,peace and understanding?This sounds more like an extreme religious sect,certainly a business extorting 20% of your earnings where does the cash go?What are the benefits?Think long and hard about this george,it sounds more like brainwashing