For all the mothers here:

[eljean]

Do you worry about your child' future teenage life? i mean, you know, do you spoiled them with so much toys? how do you balance your own way of upbringing on your own child when there is a bit of uk inlaws interference,it's maybe so far from now but kids grow up so fast this day one thing you know they are already teenagers,do you worry about if they adopt to much uk culture like you what teens are like here,when they are 16 they think they can do whatever they want or is it just simply down to dicipline,me honestly im scared about it i dont know i will still be able to control them or if my kid will still listen to me,dicipline in the PI is so totally different and i am having a hard time...specially that it's legal to have sex at the age of 16 here, while i remember in PI i still get a curfew at the age of 21.

[Arthur Little]

Do you worry about your child' future teenage life? i mean, you know, do you spoiled them with so much toys? how do you balance your own way of upbringing on your own child when there is a bit of uk inlaws interference,it's maybe so far from now but kids grow up so fast this day one thing you know they are already teenagers,do you worry about if they adopt to much uk culture like you what teens are like here,when they are 16 they think they can do whatever they want or is it just simply down to dicipline,me honestly im scared about it i dont know i will still be able to control them or if my kid will still listen to me,dicipline in the PI is so totally different and i am having a hard time...specially that it's legal to have sex at the age of 16 here, while i remember in PI i still get a curfew at the age of 21.

Ahhh ... the joys of parenthood. My daughter will be 40 in just over a week's time. And my son turns 38 in October. Seems like only yesterday that they were just wee tots. I worried a great deal about them THEN ... and I STILL *worry NOW! [fathers *DO TOO, you know!].

But THAT'S LIFE! It's a sure sign we CARE!

though, that children tend to grow up too fast these days ... heavens, some 6-year-olds know more about the workings of computers than ... well ... ME ... for instance. (Mind you THAT wouldn't be difficult!). And as for Sex Education? ... that wasn't taught in schools until pupils had reached Grade V/5th Year at Secondary level ... and then only cursorily. My mum thought it ridiculous that "that sort of thing" should even be mentioned in a classroom full of ... yes ... "impressionable" 16-year-old adolescents.

All I can say IS, "My, how times have changed!" ... and in SOME ways, perhaps it's just as well. "Que Sera, sera ... !!!"

[eagles]

I got kids and it's normal to get worried . Parenthood is lifetime responsibility (as i believed) not simply financially helping them, giving good education but more importantly is leading them to be independent and be able to walk through life braver than me.. In pinas, we are reared with so much care and fear Culturally , it's how we were molded by our ancestors..so most kids (like i was before) had fears of turning away from parent's instructions or i suffer mouth lashing .. Now , child rearing has changed.. Kids are more independent than before, more aware of what's new and the "in" thing. It takes a toll But as Parents- Its our responsibility to see that our children gets the right and best in life..

[eljean]

thanks for the reply guys...but what i meant those who have kids here in uk how is it?i know mothers are more on hands on to the kids but for those who have toddlers and teenagers ,who does the diciplining? the father or the mother and how do you apply the filipino way of diciplining your kids in here and also do speak you native language to your kid or your husband doesnt allow you?or you would want hin to also learn your native language?

[Tawi2]

Its not only mothers who worry,I would worry 10X more however if my son was a daughter Boys on the whole are ok,if they are a little street wise as my son is its fine,they have to be given some amount of freedom to find out who and what they are,to interact on the street with their friends,thats how they find their level amongst their peers,as for kids here having sex at 16 thats not as bad as it seems because we have sex-education at schools,birth control is readily accessible,I met a child in pinas 3 years ago,she was heavily pregnant at the age of 14 so its not only UK that has teenage mothers.

[IainBusby]

Do you worry about your child' future teenage life? i mean, you know, do you spoiled them with so much toys? how do you balance your own way of upbringing on your own child when there is a bit of uk inlaws interference,it's maybe so far from now but kids grow up so fast this day one thing you know they are already teenagers,do you worry about if they adopt to much uk culture like you what teens are like here,when they are 16 they think they can do whatever they want or is it just simply down to dicipline,me honestly im scared about it i dont know i will still be able to control them or if my kid will still listen to me,dicipline in the PI is so totally different and i am having a hard time...specially that it's legal to have sex at the age of 16 here, while i remember in PI i still get a curfew at the age of 21.

My wife also worries a lot about this, especially about teenage sex and the peer pressure that is associated with it. She is even considering sending our daughter back to the Philippines at 12 so she can attend high school there and then return to the UK when she is 18 years old.

I worry that if she does this it will make it much harder for her to make a natural transition to college or university in the UK, which is the path we would naturally want her to follow eventually.

Iain.

[aphrodite78]

thanks for the reply guys...but what i meant those who have kids here in uk how is it?i know mothers are more on hands on to the kids but for those who have toddlers and teenagers ,who does the diciplining? the father or the mother and how do you apply the filipino way of diciplining your kids in here and also do speak you native language to your kid or your husband doesnt allow you?or you would want hin to also learn your native language?

I must admit (having 2 kids here in UK and 2 kids in the Phils) there is a massive difference with regards to disciplining here in the UK. But there is one thing that we both agree on that is to teach respect and the rest will follow. Mark and I does the disciplining equally and his rule is also my rule. You wouldn't want the child to be confused and they need routine. It's quite difficult because I also got a stepdaughter and it's like pulling teeth with her, sometimes I bite my lip because her upbringing is so different. My hubby said he prefers the Filipino way of disciplining because kids in the Phils respect elders more than the kids brought up here but I think it really depends on the parents' upbringing.

[aphrodite78]

Its not only mothers who worry,I would worry 10X more however if my son was a daughter Boys on the whole are ok,if they are a little street wise as my son is its fine,they have to be given some amount of freedom to find out who and what they are,to interact on the street with their friends,thats how they find their level amongst their peers,as for kids here having sex at 16 thats not as bad as it seems because we have sex-education at schools,birth control is readily accessible,I met a child in pinas 3 years ago,she was heavily pregnant at the age of 14 so its not only UK that has teenage mothers.

that is so true. i think you need to let them make their own way in life. wrapping them in cotton wool won't do them any good.

[Tawi2]

In a way pinoy discipline knocks some of the character out of a kid,they arent as self-reliant or independant as a british kid,sure they have very nice manners,but so can british kids if brought up to be well behaved,I just prefer a kid with a bit more spirit and independance,not as reliant on his peers,I never understood the pack or group mentality or reliance.

[Tawi2]

I have also seen badly behaved kids in Pinas,as I am sure anyone who has spent time there will have,I saw a gang of teenage snatchers near north harbour,seen gangs of rugby sniffers down in Calamba crossing,even earlier this year I was accosted by five or six "Rugby boys" in Davao,I was buying a cake and they wanted it,I felt very intimidated as they came up to my waist So I gave them 20 pesos each if I remember correctly?I had to,they made threats of intimidation and violence against my person

[D&G]

In a way pinoy discipline knocks some of the character out of a kid,they arent as self-reliant or independant as a british kid,sure they have very nice manners,but so can british kids if brought up to be well behaved,I just prefer a kid with a bit more spirit and independance,not as reliant on his peers,I never understood the pack or group mentality or reliance.

good point!

there are quite a lot of underlying factors that affect/mold a child's behaviour/attitude/manners...

its not an easy task for parents to discipline a child and i think it doesn't matter really whether the child is raised in UK or in the Phils. It was my idea before that it is best to raise the child in the Phils because i was told that kids in the UK are more "liberated" and mostly ill-mannered than our kids here. but not always the case i'm proud to say that my hunny's 2 lovely girls (born & raised in UK) are wonderful! I think they are sweet and great girls ...some are good kids here inthe Phils, yes, but some are not and i personally encountered so many juvenile delinquents here ..So i think it is not an issue on where u would raise ur child but rather it is how u raise ur child, the amount of love u give & the kind of discipline u impose on them.

It is also important to set as a good example to ur kids because most children learn by what they see in you..(they are lil copycats u know)

[Tawi2]

Well done that lady D&G you get this weeks truthfull award Most pinoys/pinays seem blind to the badly behaved kids in Pinas,I have seen enough,whether they were snatching a hat from someone sitting in a jeepney,or sitting around sniffing rugby,some people must walk around with their eyes closed because I as a visitor notice them I can show you bus-loads of well behaved english kids,its all down to the parent,its all down to how strong willed and confident the kid is I would rather have a boy who knows what he is doing and doesnt take hassle from anyone than a timid kid who is bullied and does exactly what he is told,theres a fine line but its all to do with the parenting

[D&G]

Well done that lady D&G you get this weeks truthfull award Most pinoys/pinays seem blind to the badly behaved kids in Pinas,I have seen enough,whether they were snatching a hat from someone sitting in a jeepney,or sitting around sniffing rugby,some people must walk around with their eyes closed because I as a visitor notice them I can show you bus-loads of well behaved english kids,its all down to the parent,its all down to how strong willed and confident the kid is I would rather have a boy who knows what he is doing and doesnt take hassle from anyone than a timid kid who is bullied and does exactly what he is told,theres a fine line but its all to do with the parenting

thanks Tawi oh by the way, i like ur avatar

[D&G]

...specially that it's legal to have sex at the age of 16 here, while i remember in PI i still get a curfew at the age of 21.

yeah it's "illegal" or socially unacceptable here in the Phils for kids to have sex at a very young age but they still do it anyway