SPEECH THERAPY...

A stammering man goes to a speech therapist:

Man: p p p please c c cure my st st stammer!?

Therapist: Certainly sir, I'll just put this wooden spoon on your tongue.

Man: Wow! I can speak perfectly now! I can't thank you enough! How much do I owe you?

Therapist: £500

Man: b b b bloody how mu mu mu much?!