British Men?

[aposhark]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

I never felt like this with a British or American woman.
Right from the outset she did the more important little things that made me feel so happy, so yes, I do want to do everything for her.

[dontpushme]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

I never felt like this with a British or American woman.
Right from the outset she did the more important little things that made me feel so happy, so yes, I do want to do everything for her.

Thanks! So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?

Dont need a rephrase,just asking are you saying its a specific to english guys and dont pinoy guys do that?

LOL, I think you missed a comma or two in your first question and that's what confused me (sorry, haven't had breakfast and i've been up for several hours).

Well, you've already said it's not just Brits, and the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

[Tawi2]

I have seen how hard pinays work,and the sacrifices some of them make for ang pamilya,but as I said I dont think its an englishman thing to provide,its more just a man thing Most guys want their woman to be happy,if they are happy we are happy,sorry for missing a commaI left school at 15

[dontpushme]

can i ask why you have so many gifts offered to you did you have many boyfriends or was you a scammer

LOL! I honestly have no idea. I've never wanted a husband, let alone a foreign one. It was a big shock to my family when I said I had a boyfriend. Then they dropped their jaws when I said he was British. Plus, I've been known to spend on the guys instead of the other way around.

The one high school friend I told about the offers said he didn't understand either. Then he started acting weird coz he said whatever it was the others saw, he wanted some of it too. There went that friendship.

I have seen how hard pinays work,and the sacrifices some of them make for ang pamilya,but as I said I dont think its an englishman thing to provide,its more just a man thing Most guys want their woman to be happy,if they are happy we are happy,sorry for missing a commaI left school at 15

Don't worry. I would've understood your question after breakfast (and I wouldn't have had to ask what you meant). And my bf calls me a pedant whenever I start correcting him (I've stopped doing this). I'm probably one of a few people in the Philippines whose primary language is English and who's had to do language exercises during summer and Christmas breaks (what I get for having very nerdy parents).

[Sophie]

but as I said I dont think its an englishman thing to provide,its more just a man thing Most guys want their woman to be happy,if they are happy we are happy

I agree And in my opinion, being a good provider is not just a "foreigner thing" in general....
I've seen a lot of filipino men who are great providers and lavish their women with luxuries, atleast the men i know and close to me, specially the men in my family....

[Sun Shine]

Thanks! So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?



LOL, I think you missed a comma or two in your first question and that's what confused me (sorry, haven't had breakfast and i've been up for several hours).

Well, you've already said it's not just Brits, and the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

[Tawi2]

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

Thats why I said originally "Can....worms....opened) its always best to throw a debate open and have a lively one

[dontpushme]

True, and the guy that dragged me to Cartier was Pinoy. But in the Philippines, it's not in the culture to do that. It's more of a personal choice. We're taught that the men are the providers, but in so many families, the daughters are the ones who bring home the bacon. Like, how many of the women here send money home to pay for the bills over there?

I think the reason so many women opt for non-Pinoys is for exactly that reason. In the Philippines, they're treated like equals with an equal expectation of hard work and stability. But other men will sweep them off their feet and treat them like princesses. I'd like to know if that's because of the way the non-Pinoys are brought up.

[Sun Shine]

I could say the same about my British boyfriends, most of them have treated me like
I think what it comes down to is the relationship being Filipino-Brit rather than Brit-Brit or Filipiono-Filipino (if that makes sense).

[Tawi2]

Brit-filipino?Surely thats more likely to be a clash of cultures than make someone more generous?Your either a giving type of person or your not,not a specific giver(have I missed any comma's?)

[aposhark]

Brit-filipino?Surely thats more likely to be a clash of cultures than make someone more generous?Your either a giving type of person or your not,not a specific giver(have I missed any comma's?)

I have no clash of culture with my wife, far from it as we find so much fun in our differences
I am not on the same wavelength as you regarding the "giving type of person", or at least in my way of thinking, I have never "given" as much as now because I never felt the all-encompassing love of a wife the way I do now.

I had so many different feelings as a single man.
Marriage changed everything, and I am just so happy to have met my (Filipina) wife.

[Sophie]

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

I TOTALLY AGREE

[englishbird]

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

Same here. My Bf has sent flowers to my cabin on the cruise ship and last time he gave me a huge bag of goodies!. A little something from every country that he has been to on the ship since I had last saw him. Bless him

[dontpushme]

I didn't say ALL Pinoys didn't do it. That's like saying ALL British guys send their money to the Philippines. In the Philippines, when a guy gives gifts, it's not because they're taught to spend on their women. Also, the women also don't grow up expecting every boyfreind to spend them. These are just personal choices. My brother gives presents to his girlfriends. I give presents to my boyfriends (even to Matt). But these are personal choices, not a product of our culture.

I really did wonder about British men because it seems that the majority of the ones here do give money and gifts at every opportunity. So it was the majority that had me guessing whether it was a cultural thing or not.

Denise

[trader dave]

I really did wonder about British men because it seems that the majority of the ones here do give money and gifts at every opportunity


i dont think at every opportunity but some are generous others feel a little pity at times and i am sure some have there own reasons

me i am a sucker my wife cons me i got conned today because none of her jeans fit her her waistline is now 24: down from 26 doh there is a mall wide sale at sm the jeans are down from 1500 to 900 says MRS T ok you better buy 1 pair i love a bargain

dont anyone say nothing

[Tawi2]

Her waist has shrunk from 26-24 Dave,thats tiny,maybe you should spend more on food and less on jeans

[Sophie]

I didn't say ALL Pinoys didn't do it. That's like saying ALL British guys send their money to the Philippines. In the Philippines, when a guy gives gifts, it's not because they're taught to spend on their women. Also, the women also don't grow up expecting every boyfreind to spend them. These are just personal choices. My brother gives presents to his girlfriends. I give presents to my boyfriends (even to Matt). But these are personal choices, not a product of our culture.

Hi denise, sorry but i beg to differ......
In my opinion, this "personal choices" you just mentioned is precisely a product of our culture.....
I believe philippine culture has a lot to do with how close-knit and family-oriented we are.....
We were taught to value our loved ones and the people we cherish in every possible way - financial and/or physical care and affection....

Women are wooed and pursued by men and that does not only include having a man to call or visit the woman
but rather giving gifts as well and taking her out on dates and also give gifts to some of her family members on occasions....
however gifts need not be lavish and grand all the time, simple things mean a lot, its the gesture and the thought that counts,
and that's what we appreciate more, and this to me, is very much a "filipino thing"....

We also pratice "pamamanhikan" as a sign of respect for women and her family by men.....
And it's even customary for men to pay for the whole wedding whether he can afford it or not....because it's a "pride" thing for men,
and that very much originated from our culture, thesame culture that taught us the moral and family values we possess and stand for...
And we may be more modern now and it may have evolved into something less traditional than it was before,
but it does exist until now and it's still being done, in a more flexible and modernized way however.....which is fine,
as long the essence is still there and still being valued, one way or another.....

So taking all that into consideration, filipino men are actually taught to value and spend for women
both on a personal choice and cultural upbringing and influence.......
I know there could be a lot of irresponsible guys from the philippines, but i still believe, they are not the majority.....
Just take a look at how vast the number of filipino overseas workers are - men and women alike....
just to have the chance to earn more money and help their family back home and give them a better and comfortable life.....
And i honestly believe that filipino men will go out of their way to provide and spend for their familly and loved ones if they have the means
and the opportunity to afford it........and yes, it's a personal conviction and choice but the culture has everything to do with it....
Some may disagree but this is just my personal view and take on this......

[dontpushme]

Well said, Sophie. The pamamanhikan still is practiced, and guys do give gifts, but they're usually tokens. Like you said, it's the thought and the gesture that counts. Just because a guy doesn't give lavish presents doesn't mean he's considered "kuripot".

Unfortunately, you can see that the guys on this forum feel a bit of pressure to spend truckloads of money just because they're chatted with a young Filipina. For example, there's a sticky outlining how much tp spend. And you can tell from the threads that collectively, the men on this forum alone (not counting the bajillions more that aren't members here) have sent several million pesos to the Phlippines for this and that.

Going back to the original question, I'm not questioning Filipinos. I'm trying to understand the extreme "save the women" attitude that seems to be everywhere here. I did wonder if Brits also tried to save their countrywomen and if the pressure is because it's expected of their culture, or if it's a personal choice. After reading all the replies, I actually did find a lot of good answers and have come to the conclusion it's all personal choice.

i think all those guys offering you lots of gifts are just being macho and bragging to you and trying to impress you!

i was also wondering why they offered you so much?

what did you have on them?

i think the foreigners you chatted with probably just earned more money and could offer you better gifts?,i dont it matters where a man comes from more to do with his job!

These were men I knew in person. This is the first forum of this kind that I've ever been on. And I didn't have anything on them. It was always a complete surprise whenever I got offered anything. I never accepted gifts from anyone I wasn't in a relationship with, and even then, only the cheap gifts. I'd rather be impressed by the guy's personality than by the money he spends on me and the "security" he can give me (security that I can have myself if I just work hard).

But anyway, thanks for the insight. I probably have as much money to my name as those guys have in their pockets (so you're right about the wealthy part), but they knew from the very beginning that I was fiercely independent and wouldn't accept help that I didn't ask for. I dunno, maybe the reason they kept trying to give me things that got more expensive with each offer was that it became a challenge to see who could get Denise to say yes. They didn't realise if they'd given me a hug when I was sad, told me about their day so I'd feel like I was being invited to be a part of their life, and listened when I was upset, they'd have won me over completely (no money spent).

[Florge]

When we say majority, we mean more than half the population right? So just wondering if your claim on the term "majority" is based on a personal observation? Coz it is best to claim "majority" when it is backed up by a certain study. You have had a master's degree as you previously claimed and I believe that when reports are submitted, we should back it up, so to speak, with a data.

If there's none, then I guess we just have to make it clear that these are just based on personal observation.

I also hope that claims of trends in the Philippines should be backed-up by data as well.. I mean, it is bad enough to say that trends in the Philippines are this an d that and you're not even here...

I meant no offense... just had a long night and haven't had breakfast as well...

coffeeeee...

[Matt7]

When we say majority, we mean more than half the population right? So just wondering if your claim on the term "majority" is based on a personal observation? Coz it is best to claim "majority" when it is backed up by a certain study. You have had a master's degree as you previously claimed and I believe that when reports are submitted, we should back it up, so to speak, with a data.

If there's none, then I guess we just have to make it clear that these are just based on personal observation.

I also hope that claims of trends in the Philippines should be backed-up by data as well.. I mean, it is bad enough to say that trends in the Philippines are this an d that and you're not even here...

I meant no offense... just had a long night and haven't had breakfast as well...

coffeeeee...

If it were based on data and facts there wouldn't be a discussion of opinion here right now.

[aposhark]

..........So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?.............

Well, my father always did as much as he could for my mother and he worked all the hours he could to provide for his family, so I did come from a family where the man did as much as he could for his wife.
When it happens to me though, I can only truly feel in my own heart that I would do everything for my lovely wife.

[trader dave]

Thanks! So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?

LOL, I think you missed a comma or two in your first question and that's what confused me (sorry, haven't had breakfast and I've been up for several hours).

Well, you've already said it's not just Brits, and the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

Can I ask why you have so many gifts offered to you did you have many boyfriends or were you a scammer?

My wife had a Greek boyfriend a couple of years ago. He gave her gifts spent money on her and she felt insulted because he was just trying to buy her heart and she told him "No, I will not marry you because I don't love you!"

YOU CAN'T BUY SOMEONE'S AFFECTION

HIS LOSS!

[D&G]

the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

so i guess u already answered ur own question so its not really peculiar to English/Brit men to give gifts or buy stuff for their gf/wives. Its not a "kano" thing or brit thing only as u just mentioned men from different countries offered u gifts. (sorry to ask were they even ur bf already when they offered?)

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. .

one thing i dont like is when people start to generalize things,,,we have what we call "individual differences" ...some pinoys are big jerks and some are not...some are generous whilst some are not. Im not trying to defend Pinoys here some pinoys do give some gifts in their own little ways because thats the only "little" thing they could probably afford.. i know a lot of Pinoys also who shower their gf/wives with expensive stuff and trips abroad.

In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

i'll just try not to comment on this hmmmmnnn....

[Sophie]

one thing i dont like is when people start to generalize things,,,we have what we call "individual differences" ...some pinoys are big jerks and some are not...some are generous whilst some are not. Im not trying to defend Pinoys here some pinoys do give some gifts in their own little ways because thats the only "little" thing they could probably afford.. i know a lot of Pinoys also who shower their gf/wives with expensive stuff and trips abroad

I agree with you, totally

[joebloggs]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

i supported my now wife for many years, paid for her to get thru med school, rents, bills etc, before i met her, after i met her, after we married and thou she works part time now, all our money goes in one big pot , but soon when she gets a good job, she will be earning more than me, swings and round bouts i'm waiting for that day i can buy a 50" plasma with the misses wages

[aromulus]

i'm waiting for that day i can buy a 50" plasma with the misses wages

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

[aposhark]

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

It was (FA Cup semi)........even on my older CRT telly

[joebloggs]

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

your right dom, i can watch united beat Chelsea at penalties from last year ,when UNITED became EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS , you can keep your community shield

when i get the 50" plasma dom, you can come and watch it with me , also terry making a fool of himself

[bornatbirth]

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

have you seen JT cry in HD? oh and miss a penalty too??

[Sophie]

but soon when she gets a good job, she will be earning more than me, swings and round bouts i'm waiting for that day i can buy a 50" plasma with the misses wages

I bet, soon, you'll enjoy the fruits of your labor and you can stay home and relax, for a change