British Men?

[joebloggs]

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

your right dom, i can watch united beat Chelsea at penalties from last year ,when UNITED became EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS , you can keep your community shield

when i get the 50" plasma dom, you can come and watch it with me , also terry making a fool of himself

[dontpushme]

can i ask why you have so many gifts offered to you did you have many boyfriends or was you a scammer

LOL! I honestly have no idea. I've never wanted a husband, let alone a foreign one. It was a big shock to my family when I said I had a boyfriend. Then they dropped their jaws when I said he was British. Plus, I've been known to spend on the guys instead of the other way around.

The one high school friend I told about the offers said he didn't understand either. Then he started acting weird coz he said whatever it was the others saw, he wanted some of it too. There went that friendship.

I have seen how hard pinays work,and the sacrifices some of them make for ang pamilya,but as I said I dont think its an englishman thing to provide,its more just a man thing Most guys want their woman to be happy,if they are happy we are happy,sorry for missing a commaI left school at 15

Don't worry. I would've understood your question after breakfast (and I wouldn't have had to ask what you meant). And my bf calls me a pedant whenever I start correcting him (I've stopped doing this). I'm probably one of a few people in the Philippines whose primary language is English and who's had to do language exercises during summer and Christmas breaks (what I get for having very nerdy parents).

[dontpushme]

Yeah, and a great excuse for anything.. "Why did you do that?" It's a man thing

Would you believe Matt (my bf) used that on me all the time when we first met? It was his excuse for EVERYTHING!

[Northerner]

Would you believe Matt (my bf) used that on me all the time when we first met? It was his excuse for EVERYTHING!

So it works then? Excellent

[dontpushme]

So it works then? Excellent

OMG, you know that's not what I meant! You're sneaky. Good luck trying it with your lady

[Northerner]

OMG, you know that's not what I meant! You're sneaky. Good luck trying it with your lady

Yeah, I'm a sneaky

[britishdetained]

You skirted my question in a most non-commital way..........How do you find british or if you want to be specific English differ from pinoy guys DPM?

I can say that Britishmen are more romantic...not about material things or providing money ok. But as I see it, they are more Romantic in a way you will be feel loved, important and a lady. My husband writes me Love letters everyday. When we are out, he hold my hands and make you feel secure. He often surprises me with his appeteting breakfast in bed with flowers and a note. When we both dont have money, we just stay at home but bet you he can make a very nice dinner. Simple things that he does makes last in my heart. I am very thankful that of all the people in the world I was found by him. No money nore any material thing that can replace him.

So as he is British, same as his friends who married some Filipinas...we all both share the same memories. Being lucky to have a romantic husband. And so grateful that we found our SOULMATES.

[D&G]

the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

so i guess u already answered ur own question so its not really peculiar to English/Brit men to give gifts or buy stuff for their gf/wives. Its not a "kano" thing or brit thing only as u just mentioned men from different countries offered u gifts. (sorry to ask were they even ur bf already when they offered?)

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. .

one thing i dont like is when people start to generalize things,,,we have what we call "individual differences" ...some pinoys are big jerks and some are not...some are generous whilst some are not. Im not trying to defend Pinoys here some pinoys do give some gifts in their own little ways because thats the only "little" thing they could probably afford.. i know a lot of Pinoys also who shower their gf/wives with expensive stuff and trips abroad.

In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

i'll just try not to comment on this hmmmmnnn....

[D&G]

I can say that Britishmen are more romantic...not about material things or providing money ok.
So as he is British, same as his friends who married some Filipinas...we all both share the same memories. Being lucky to have a romantic husband. And so grateful that we found our SOULMATES.

sorry BD i have to point this out it has nothinh to do with being british why he is so romantic i've read sad stories of pinays who were abused by brit husbands..(not romantic eh) i think we're just both lucky to find romantic, loving partners.

[dontpushme]

I agree. There are so many romantic Filipinos too. Unfortunately, all the ones I know, I met in high school and they're now happily married to their high school sweethearts. And noone else was allowed to get close enough to me to be able to prove he was romantic and good and all those fun things.

[Sophie]

Your question was a specific,why do englishmen lavish gifts and largesse on their women,I asked how do english guys differ from Pinoys?Dont they do the same?

In my opinion, men all do thesame, foreigner's and filipino's alike......not just foreigners....
I said filipinos, based on my experience and as far as the filipino men i know and knew (my dad, big brothers, ex-bf, friends)...

[Sophie]

but as I said I dont think its an englishman thing to provide,its more just a man thing Most guys want their woman to be happy,if they are happy we are happy

I agree And in my opinion, being a good provider is not just a "foreigner thing" in general....
I've seen a lot of filipino men who are great providers and lavish their women with luxuries, atleast the men i know and close to me, specially the men in my family....

[Sophie]

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

I TOTALLY AGREE

[vbkelly]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

I never felt like this with a British or American woman.
Right from the outset she did the more important little things that made me feel so happy, so yes, I do want to do everything for her.

agree!

[bornatbirth]

i think all those guys offering you lots of gifts are just being macho and bragging to you and trying to impress you!

i was also wondering why they offered you so much?

what did you have on them?

i think the foreigners you chatted with probably just earned more money and could offer you better gifts?,i dont it matters where a man comes from more to do with his job!

[Sophie]

[QUOTE=Tawi2;163416] reading it the suggestion is your guys more likely to buy you a gift if he is a different ethnicity to the woman,meaning a pinoy guy is more inclined to buy a gift for a british woman than he is a pinay woman Is that so?[/QUOTE]

I don't think so .....
I guess it all boils down to the personal and individual character of a man, and his nationality and ethnicity has nothing to do with it.....
in thesame way, that a man will not treat a filipina gf from a foreigner gf differently, because of ethnicity
but rather, because of the emotions he feel for the women irregardless of where they come from.....
As some men just feel more intense to a particular woman than the others he's been with...

[Sophie]

but soon when she gets a good job, she will be earning more than me, swings and round bouts i'm waiting for that day i can buy a 50" plasma with the misses wages

I bet, soon, you'll enjoy the fruits of your labor and you can stay home and relax, for a change

[Sophie]

one thing i dont like is when people start to generalize things,,,we have what we call "individual differences" ...some pinoys are big jerks and some are not...some are generous whilst some are not. Im not trying to defend Pinoys here some pinoys do give some gifts in their own little ways because thats the only "little" thing they could probably afford.. i know a lot of Pinoys also who shower their gf/wives with expensive stuff and trips abroad

I agree with you, totally

[bornatbirth]

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

have you seen JT cry in HD? oh and miss a penalty too??

[MarBell379]

I don't think theres any mystique here really.
For my part, I've been aware since the end of my teenage years, that I was (for the most part) earning more than anyone I was in a realtionship with and felt that I wanted to help out. There IS a historical cultural understanding deep in my psyche that says 'the guy pays' unless there is a specific reason not to.
With my fiancee, there is a definite added element in that I am so much in love with my wife to be that I WANT to help her have as good a life as possible, both now while we're apart and in the future when we're together.
She is fiercely independent and I know she'll want to earn her own money, but she is my family, I am the main wage earner, and I want to make sure there is nothing between us but love.
Money is what it is, a means to live and enjoy life. Thats it.

[englishbird]

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

Same here. My Bf has sent flowers to my cabin on the cruise ship and last time he gave me a huge bag of goodies!. A little something from every country that he has been to on the ship since I had last saw him. Bless him

[dontpushme]

I didn't say ALL Pinoys didn't do it. That's like saying ALL British guys send their money to the Philippines. In the Philippines, when a guy gives gifts, it's not because they're taught to spend on their women. Also, the women also don't grow up expecting every boyfreind to spend them. These are just personal choices. My brother gives presents to his girlfriends. I give presents to my boyfriends (even to Matt). But these are personal choices, not a product of our culture.

I really did wonder about British men because it seems that the majority of the ones here do give money and gifts at every opportunity. So it was the majority that had me guessing whether it was a cultural thing or not.

Denise

[trader dave]

I really did wonder about British men because it seems that the majority of the ones here do give money and gifts at every opportunity


i dont think at every opportunity but some are generous others feel a little pity at times and i am sure some have there own reasons

me i am a sucker my wife cons me i got conned today because none of her jeans fit her her waistline is now 24: down from 26 doh there is a mall wide sale at sm the jeans are down from 1500 to 900 says MRS T ok you better buy 1 pair i love a bargain

dont anyone say nothing

[Tawi2]

Her waist has shrunk from 26-24 Dave,thats tiny,maybe you should spend more on food and less on jeans

[Sophie]

I didn't say ALL Pinoys didn't do it. That's like saying ALL British guys send their money to the Philippines. In the Philippines, when a guy gives gifts, it's not because they're taught to spend on their women. Also, the women also don't grow up expecting every boyfreind to spend them. These are just personal choices. My brother gives presents to his girlfriends. I give presents to my boyfriends (even to Matt). But these are personal choices, not a product of our culture.

Hi denise, sorry but i beg to differ......
In my opinion, this "personal choices" you just mentioned is precisely a product of our culture.....
I believe philippine culture has a lot to do with how close-knit and family-oriented we are.....
We were taught to value our loved ones and the people we cherish in every possible way - financial and/or physical care and affection....

Women are wooed and pursued by men and that does not only include having a man to call or visit the woman
but rather giving gifts as well and taking her out on dates and also give gifts to some of her family members on occasions....
however gifts need not be lavish and grand all the time, simple things mean a lot, its the gesture and the thought that counts,
and that's what we appreciate more, and this to me, is very much a "filipino thing"....

We also pratice "pamamanhikan" as a sign of respect for women and her family by men.....
And it's even customary for men to pay for the whole wedding whether he can afford it or not....because it's a "pride" thing for men,
and that very much originated from our culture, thesame culture that taught us the moral and family values we possess and stand for...
And we may be more modern now and it may have evolved into something less traditional than it was before,
but it does exist until now and it's still being done, in a more flexible and modernized way however.....which is fine,
as long the essence is still there and still being valued, one way or another.....

So taking all that into consideration, filipino men are actually taught to value and spend for women
both on a personal choice and cultural upbringing and influence.......
I know there could be a lot of irresponsible guys from the philippines, but i still believe, they are not the majority.....
Just take a look at how vast the number of filipino overseas workers are - men and women alike....
just to have the chance to earn more money and help their family back home and give them a better and comfortable life.....
And i honestly believe that filipino men will go out of their way to provide and spend for their familly and loved ones if they have the means
and the opportunity to afford it........and yes, it's a personal conviction and choice but the culture has everything to do with it....
Some may disagree but this is just my personal view and take on this......

[dontpushme]

Well said, Sophie. The pamamanhikan still is practiced, and guys do give gifts, but they're usually tokens. Like you said, it's the thought and the gesture that counts. Just because a guy doesn't give lavish presents doesn't mean he's considered "kuripot".

Unfortunately, you can see that the guys on this forum feel a bit of pressure to spend truckloads of money just because they're chatted with a young Filipina. For example, there's a sticky outlining how much tp spend. And you can tell from the threads that collectively, the men on this forum alone (not counting the bajillions more that aren't members here) have sent several million pesos to the Phlippines for this and that.

Going back to the original question, I'm not questioning Filipinos. I'm trying to understand the extreme "save the women" attitude that seems to be everywhere here. I did wonder if Brits also tried to save their countrywomen and if the pressure is because it's expected of their culture, or if it's a personal choice. After reading all the replies, I actually did find a lot of good answers and have come to the conclusion it's all personal choice.

i think all those guys offering you lots of gifts are just being macho and bragging to you and trying to impress you!

i was also wondering why they offered you so much?

what did you have on them?

i think the foreigners you chatted with probably just earned more money and could offer you better gifts?,i dont it matters where a man comes from more to do with his job!

These were men I knew in person. This is the first forum of this kind that I've ever been on. And I didn't have anything on them. It was always a complete surprise whenever I got offered anything. I never accepted gifts from anyone I wasn't in a relationship with, and even then, only the cheap gifts. I'd rather be impressed by the guy's personality than by the money he spends on me and the "security" he can give me (security that I can have myself if I just work hard).

But anyway, thanks for the insight. I probably have as much money to my name as those guys have in their pockets (so you're right about the wealthy part), but they knew from the very beginning that I was fiercely independent and wouldn't accept help that I didn't ask for. I dunno, maybe the reason they kept trying to give me things that got more expensive with each offer was that it became a challenge to see who could get Denise to say yes. They didn't realise if they'd given me a hug when I was sad, told me about their day so I'd feel like I was being invited to be a part of their life, and listened when I was upset, they'd have won me over completely (no money spent).

[Sophie]

I did wonder if Brits also tried to save their countrywomen and if the pressure is because it's expected of their culture, or if it's a personal choice. After reading all the replies, I actually did find a lot of good answers and have come to the conclusion it's all personal choice.

I definitely agree with you on this one denise
As far as the brits or foreigner's are concerned, it's more of a personal choice for them, not necessarily a culture thing i suppose
they choose to offer and extend some financial help to the filipina they're with and at times to her family as well.....
although on some cases, they're left with no choice but to help no matter what, lol
anyway, whether they do it voluntarily or just obliged to do so, is out of the question...
The bottom line is, they made a choice to help the women they love specially if he knows how badly she needs one.....
And it will be up to the girl to accept or refuse the offer and likewise up to her, if she will value or abuse the help.....

[JimOttley]

Unfortunately, you can see that the guys on this forum feel a bit of pressure to spend truckloads of money just because they're chatted with a young Filipina. For example, there's a sticky outlining how much tp spend. And you can tell from the threads that collectively, the men on this forum alone (not counting the bajillions more that aren't members here) have sent several million pesos to the Phlippines for this and that.

Going back to the original question, I'm not questioning Filipinos. I'm trying to understand the extreme "save the women" attitude that seems to be everywhere here. I did wonder if Brits also tried to save their countrywomen and if the pressure is because it's expected of their culture, or if it's a personal choice. After reading all the replies, I actually did find a lot of good answers and have come to the conclusion it's all personal choice.

DPM I'm a Scot and your original question was first directed at the English but we are all Brits I'm old enough and I hope wise enough not to let the national divisions in the UK get out of proportion.

I've sent a small fortune to the Phils over the years, I never chatted to my partner online or by email, I met her first and then I thought long and hard about getting involved.

You may not be aware that the Scots have a reputation for thrift and that if you have the good fortune to come from the town of Paisley you have an outright reputation for for being a tight git who would hack his hand off with a rusty saw rather than use said appendage to open his wallet

That said and I am not atypical of my local clan I do care about people and I cared about people long before I met my current partner.

When I was 26 I met a lassie (girl) that I fell madly in love with, we had a very short relationship but we had a child (a girl) and my partner wanted to keep the child. I was brought up Catholic and although I fell away from the church at an early age I had qualms about abortion so I was happy to support my partners decision at the time.

I loved my partner but she had problems with me and though she accepted my marriage proposals on three separate occasions she changed her mind three times and eventually I gave up.

It is not easy to bring up a child alone in the UK and while I was not the most perfect chivalrous man in the world and I wasn't that wealthy, I cared about my ex and I felt I had to protect her and my child as much as I possibly could.

My ex would, I am sure, disagree with me on my interpretation of some aspects of our history but the simple fact (for me) is I did my absolute best to support them and look after them and to stay involved with my daughters life.

So twenty three years later I have a wonderful grown up daughter who has just graduated from Uni, just finished her Masters and is looking to start a teaching job in a couple of weeks time.

Cost me a fortune, we kept the CSA out of our lives all that time which is something I am very proud of, I helped all the way through the good times and the bad times, it was hard, very hard!

During the first 20 years I had no relationships in my life period, nada, none, I had given up completely, my ex and me, we were just friends, I considered myself an irredeemable nerd who would always be alone.

Until I met Ana when I was 45.

Now I'm doing it all over again but this time I'm actually in a relationship where the woman I love cares about me as well.

I see no reason why Ana should get any worse a deal than my ex from twenty three years ago.

I want to protect my kids and I want to protect my partner and if that means that I have to extend that protection beyond my immediate family then so be it.

I am tight, I hate waste, I don't like spending on luxuries, I am a fairly stereotypical Scot in that respect, but at the same time I can't stand by and see my immediate or extended family suffer.

So yes I think it is personal choice or rather just the way the guy is made.

One of the things I love about the Phils is that the people and the society take me back to the way I was brought up in Scotland in the 60's we had very close communities in those days and we were not that wealthy.

I dare say that many of the guys on here could find similarities to their upbringing in England but for me personally sitting in a slum in early 2005, eating and drinking with my new family, at their (considerable) expense, made me feel at home in way I could barely believe and that a lot of my need to help my partner and my family simply springs from the basic values I was taught as a child in Scotland and those values are not a lot different from Filipino values.

I would not want to change.


Jim

[Florge]

When we say majority, we mean more than half the population right? So just wondering if your claim on the term "majority" is based on a personal observation? Coz it is best to claim "majority" when it is backed up by a certain study. You have had a master's degree as you previously claimed and I believe that when reports are submitted, we should back it up, so to speak, with a data.

If there's none, then I guess we just have to make it clear that these are just based on personal observation.

I also hope that claims of trends in the Philippines should be backed-up by data as well.. I mean, it is bad enough to say that trends in the Philippines are this an d that and you're not even here...

I meant no offense... just had a long night and haven't had breakfast as well...

coffeeeee...

[Matt7]

When we say majority, we mean more than half the population right? So just wondering if your claim on the term "majority" is based on a personal observation? Coz it is best to claim "majority" when it is backed up by a certain study. You have had a master's degree as you previously claimed and I believe that when reports are submitted, we should back it up, so to speak, with a data.

If there's none, then I guess we just have to make it clear that these are just based on personal observation.

I also hope that claims of trends in the Philippines should be backed-up by data as well.. I mean, it is bad enough to say that trends in the Philippines are this an d that and you're not even here...

I meant no offense... just had a long night and haven't had breakfast as well...

coffeeeee...

If it were based on data and facts there wouldn't be a discussion of opinion here right now.