British Men?

[dontpushme]

Okay, this might be more for the Englishmen. I was just wondering if it's part of your culture to want to provide everything for your wife.

I know I was the one that changed my bf and made him see that I wanted to be self-sufficient and that wouldn't mean that I didn't need him, but it would help us save up for the future if we didn't have too many unnecessary expenditures. We never really talked about it, but he saw my determination to pay for my needs myself (even if I had to save up for months or years).

You say women are headstrong over there and you prefer someone who isn't going to run you over with her personality. But I noticed you men like to nurture and dote on women. I mean, you've pretty much spoilt Filipinas so they now come online already expecting you to spend on them (hence,all the scams and the sob stories). I'm sure it wasn't done on purpose either. But that's what happened and is still happening and it probably won't stop anytime soon.

Before my bf came along, different men offered me expensive things (someone offered me his souped up car that he likes to race in the streets with coz he was buying himself another one, and one other offered me a lot more money that I could make here in the US, even with my master's degree). But I turned all of them down because those men made me feel that although they were looking for love, they would most likely treat me like a prize, not a woman with a personality and a mind.

So I guess my main question is whether you're brought up to actually want to dote on women. And why is it that you show that by sending gifts and money instead of with actions? Is it cultural? Or is it more of a personal choice?

Btw, I'm sure you've noticed that Filipinas are headstrong too, but in a completely different way. Think of all the times your wife won an argument or made the final decision on something.

[Tawi2]

How do you find british or if you want to be specific English differ from pinoy guys DPM?(can....worms....opened)

[aromulus]

Okay, this might be more for the Englishmen. I was just wondering if it's part of your culture to want to provide everything for your wife.

That counts me out, to start off with, then......

So no Jocks, no Taffys and no Paddys either, that leaves only the Limeys......

So apart from a couple of Scousers, Brums, Geordies and Mackams, and a manc or three, there isn't much left to go on asking is there...???

[dontpushme]

How do you find british or if you want to be specific English differ from pinoy guys DPM?(can....worms....opened)

Haha! Okay, it's hard to ask this question when we're all from different countries. I wanted to ask the English, but I know even the other guys dote on their Filipinas too. So I don't know the scope of the question I'm asking. Is upbringing similar in all the parts of GB? I see the relationships and all the talk of gifts and sending money and I'm wondering if it's all because of upbringing and if relationships with Englishwomen also involve a lot of gifts too.

[aromulus]

if relationships with Englishwomen also involve a lot of gifts too.

Mainly arsenic.....

[Tawi2]

I dont think its specific to english guys to want to treat their woman,its more primeval than that,harking back to the cave-man days,all animals protect their mate,look at a peacock or lyrebird displaying and protecting their mates,Lion will fight off rivals,sea-horse males take over parental guarding of the young seahorses,theres even a male frog incubates the eggs on his mucus covered back,its nature that man has always protected his woman/mate and brought things back to the cave,its a primal urge to provide I guess?As for lavishing gifts but not actions hasnt one of your boyfriends ever taken you to the greatest testimony to love ever built?The Taj Mahal?I took a girlfriend there

[Tawi2]

You skirted my question in a most non-commital way..........How do you find british or if you want to be specific English differ from pinoy guys DPM?

[dontpushme]

You skirted my question in a most non-commital way..........How do you find british or if you want to be specific English differ from pinoy guys DPM?

I wasn't skirting it. I didn't understand it. Could you please rephrase the question? *sheepish* I didn't understand this part "if you want to be specific English differ from pinoy guys DPM?"

[aposhark]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

I never felt like this with a British or American woman.
Right from the outset she did the more important little things that made me feel so happy, so yes, I do want to do everything for her.

[Tawi2]

Your question was a specific,why do englishmen lavish gifts and largesse on their women,I asked how do english guys differ from Pinoys?Dont they do the same?Americans also if you were offered a car and cash,I just think its mans nature to provide for his woman,its instinctual,I have done it in the past,went out shopping for clothes and ended up buying a diamond ring Which wasnt cheap,certainly a few months income,but I had the cash,and couldnt help dipping into my pocket,like I said,Instinctual

[dontpushme]

Umm, are you asking if I want to differentiate Brits from Pinoys? Or if I'm stating that they're different? Or if I'm saying the Brits are different from Pinoys?

I'm not trying to differentiate. I can do that in my head. But I'm wondering where the differences come from. Is it cultural and do they do it to all women, or is it just personal? Brits are different in that the Filipinos have grown up around strong women and they know that Filipinas will share the workload and work as hard as the men to put food on the table. All this without expecting gifts from them. I don't know if I've answered your question, but if I haven't, I'd appreciate a rephrase.

[Tawi2]

Dont need a rephrase,just asking are you saying its a specific to english guys and dont pinoy guys do that?

[dontpushme]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

I never felt like this with a British or American woman.
Right from the outset she did the more important little things that made me feel so happy, so yes, I do want to do everything for her.

Thanks! So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?

Dont need a rephrase,just asking are you saying its a specific to english guys and dont pinoy guys do that?

LOL, I think you missed a comma or two in your first question and that's what confused me (sorry, haven't had breakfast and i've been up for several hours).

Well, you've already said it's not just Brits, and the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

[Tawi2]

I have seen how hard pinays work,and the sacrifices some of them make for ang pamilya,but as I said I dont think its an englishman thing to provide,its more just a man thing Most guys want their woman to be happy,if they are happy we are happy,sorry for missing a commaI left school at 15

[Sun Shine]

Thanks! So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?



LOL, I think you missed a comma or two in your first question and that's what confused me (sorry, haven't had breakfast and i've been up for several hours).

Well, you've already said it's not just Brits, and the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

[Tawi2]

My pinoy bf has offered and bought me gifts, so not ALL Pinoy don't do it.

Thats why I said originally "Can....worms....opened) its always best to throw a debate open and have a lively one

[dontpushme]

True, and the guy that dragged me to Cartier was Pinoy. But in the Philippines, it's not in the culture to do that. It's more of a personal choice. We're taught that the men are the providers, but in so many families, the daughters are the ones who bring home the bacon. Like, how many of the women here send money home to pay for the bills over there?

I think the reason so many women opt for non-Pinoys is for exactly that reason. In the Philippines, they're treated like equals with an equal expectation of hard work and stability. But other men will sweep them off their feet and treat them like princesses. I'd like to know if that's because of the way the non-Pinoys are brought up.

[Sun Shine]

I could say the same about my British boyfriends, most of them have treated me like
I think what it comes down to is the relationship being Filipino-Brit rather than Brit-Brit or Filipiono-Filipino (if that makes sense).

[aposhark]

..........So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?.............

Well, my father always did as much as he could for my mother and he worked all the hours he could to provide for his family, so I did come from a family where the man did as much as he could for his wife.
When it happens to me though, I can only truly feel in my own heart that I would do everything for my lovely wife.

[Tawi2]

Brit-filipino?Surely thats more likely to be a clash of cultures than make someone more generous?Your either a giving type of person or your not,not a specific giver(have I missed any comma's?)

[aposhark]

Brit-filipino?Surely thats more likely to be a clash of cultures than make someone more generous?Your either a giving type of person or your not,not a specific giver(have I missed any comma's?)

I have no clash of culture with my wife, far from it as we find so much fun in our differences
I am not on the same wavelength as you regarding the "giving type of person", or at least in my way of thinking, I have never "given" as much as now because I never felt the all-encompassing love of a wife the way I do now.

I had so many different feelings as a single man.
Marriage changed everything, and I am just so happy to have met my (Filipina) wife.

[Tawi2]

Not saying your having a culture clash with your wife,just reading Sun Shines post,reading it the suggestion is your guys more likely to buy you a gift if he is a different ethnicity to the woman,meaning a pinoy guy is more inclined to buy a gift for a british woman than he is a pinay woman Is that so?

[Sun Shine]

"I have no clash of culture...far from it as we find so much fun in our differences"

[trader dave]

Thanks! So I'm guessing it wasn't upbringing but just an outlet of your happiness and an outpouring of love. Is that maybe it?

LOL, I think you missed a comma or two in your first question and that's what confused me (sorry, haven't had breakfast and I've been up for several hours).

Well, you've already said it's not just Brits, and the guys that offered me gifts were American, Spanish, British, and a couple other nationalities I can't remember. One of them had grown up in Australia, but was from somewhere in South Asia.

To answer your question, no. Pinoys don't do it. All their lives, they're surrounded by women who work as hard as the men do, and don't expect gifts and luxuries for it. You've most likely already seen how hard Pinays can work when they want to. In the Philippines, it's become a trend to find foreigners who would sweep the women off their feet because the men grow up expecting their women to work as hard as their moms did, and the men don't think women are more special because of that.

Can I ask why you have so many gifts offered to you did you have many boyfriends or were you a scammer?

My wife had a Greek boyfriend a couple of years ago. He gave her gifts spent money on her and she felt insulted because he was just trying to buy her heart and she told him "No, I will not marry you because I don't love you!"

YOU CAN'T BUY SOMEONE'S AFFECTION

HIS LOSS!

[Northerner]

I would say it is a man thing, or at least to some men Most men will try to buy things for their lady during the act of courting, many drop these things when they finally "get the girl". But many men continue into late life giving small gifts to their wives to show appreciation.

Some men dislike a woman working as they feel it they're duty to provide the bread as it were. But in this modern age of low wages and long working hours, that is slowly being eroded and men and women now need to work as a team And I think working as a team is harder to do for many couples, and I am sure I will find out how I go...

[Tawi2]

Thank you northerner.....Man thing Me Tarzan you Jane but a modern romanticised version

[Northerner]

Thank you northerner.....Man thing Me Tarzan you Jane but a modern romanticised version

Yeah, and a great excuse for anything.. "Why did you do that?" It's a man thing

[joebloggs]

You have asked a very good, serious question.

I prefer the ways of my Filipina wife.
She does everything she can for me and I do everything I can for her.
It is not a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg.
It is because we both think about how each other feels all the time, and not about ourselves and being selfish.

i supported my now wife for many years, paid for her to get thru med school, rents, bills etc, before i met her, after i met her, after we married and thou she works part time now, all our money goes in one big pot , but soon when she gets a good job, she will be earning more than me, swings and round bouts i'm waiting for that day i can buy a 50" plasma with the misses wages

[aromulus]

i'm waiting for that day i can buy a 50" plasma with the misses wages

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

[aposhark]

Yes, I agree, it will be much better watching UTD losing the penalties on 50"plasma...

The detail would be fantastic, don't you think...???

It was (FA Cup semi)........even on my older CRT telly