Originally Posted by maria_and_matt
i am glad i am not married to any of you guys
maybe they are glad they are not married to you
i am glad i am not married to any of you guys
maybe they are glad they are not married to you
Well like I said there are obviously circumstances where it helps, and can improve a persons quality of living. Having no welfare is a damn shame, especially considering how many people abuse and exploit it here, and I genuinely feel terrible for homeless living in slums around the world
I guess my argument has become a little disjointed. To me the OP seemed like sending money back was just "the done thing", and I disagree with that, and think it should only be done when the circumstances dictate
i think we will always send some money to my misses mom but it will not be so much, enough to give them a bit of help, so they don't struggle. anyway what my misses sends, will be nothing to what my misses can earn.
but i've seen somethings in the phils, how some have had to live ( the house my misses rented, at the end of the garden, an old man had built, what was nothing more than a size of a dog kennel to live in - no water, no elec) .
tawi2 i would have thought would have seen much worse than i have ever seen
I have seen bad housing and living conditions that would be described as unfit for human habitation Joe,But that was in Sunderland
To be honest I dont know if any of you know the YMCA in cebu?Just off Fuente?The road leading down to it has a sewage/sludge stream running under it,run-off from sewage or whatever,I was walking down the road and heard a kitten mewling,I looked over into the stream and a very scruffy tiny kitten was near the edge so I got over the wall and was about to slide down the banking when a movement under the road bridge on the periphery of my vision drew attention to several families living under the bridge,mothers,fathers,kids and obviously some kids kitten
I did it twice,full term,all the way through,both were girls and got degrees,ones never used hers despite her promises to her mum and dad(her mum is dying at the moment,terminal illness)because she got pregnant and married to a guy in Manila,the other one An is working in a call center,computer wizz-kid but well,I learnt a few weeks ago she is also pregnant but cant marry her boyfriend because of religious issues
But its part of being human,its inbuilt,if your close to someone and see they are lacking you feel the urge to give dont you?(any donations PM me for my account details
).
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
have you been to the phils, near manila port ? where there are people with nothing !, sleeping on the streets, living in slums
my misses wouldn't let me go anywhere near the place. no welfare, nothing.
its a shame that some foreginers cant just come down to there level no offence intended here
Good one Daveits a shame that some foreginers cant just come down to there level no offence intended here
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Good one Dave
i have 2 sons one of 15 his mother is english [i want this dad i want that
my youngest son [philipina mother ] who has been in the phils many times funny he never asks for nothing and always wants to help me with work about the house WHEN HE STAYS WITH ME ---today he helped paint all the fences around the house afterwards we had to go to town so i asked him if he wanted the latest chelsea shirt or a pair of new trainers his reply NO THANKS DAD
I love going back to my wife's parents house, its one large house that Tatay started when he was younger and fitter. So myself and sister in laws husband whom is Dutch, helped Tatay finish the house extension so that all his sons could live there with their wifes and children. my wife miss them so much. I try and go over every xmas, but had to miss this time due to the recession,bankers.
I was speaking with a friend about this yesterday. He is of Indian origin and his wife is from India
And so the family, and extended family all pull together to support one another
Personally, I think if you marry into an Asian family who have a similar sort of bond then you really should expect a few calls for money every so often. But it seems the obvious thing on this forum is that people do not like to send money to fund drink habits or whatever vices some inlaws may have.
I know my mahal was funded through college by an aunt in the USA, so I expect to be "Paying it forward" in the future, and that does not bother me. So long as the family unit here in the UK comes first, then all should be fine.
Most of us have never lived in abject poverty N,your going to meet some who do on your trip,we cant imagine our kid eating one meal a day of low nutritional value because thats all we could budget for,they say travel broadens the mind but it also opens your heart a little,I just went over to Tesco,the woman in front of me who didnt look as if she even knew how to spell starvation
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
You raised him well!
i have 2 sons one of 15 his mother is english [i want this dad i want that
my youngest son [philipina mother ] who has been in the phils many times funny he never asks for nothing and always wants to help me with work about the house WHEN HE STAYS WITH ME ---today he helped paint all the fences around the house afterwards we had to go to town so i asked him if he wanted the latest chelsea shirt or a pair of new trainers his reply NO THANKS DAD
Very poignant thread.
I support three adults and three kids in Manila.
The adults are my partner, Nanay and my partners slighly disabled sister, the kids are mine plus one neice that we are trying to help though school.
This costs me 500 quid a month + emergencies.
I have spent a lot of time in Manila and I know the price of food both in the supermarkets and in the local markets.
Yes a family can live on 200 peso a day more than half of our extended family live on less than this :( but it's not an acceptable amount of money for a decent life.
My rent in Manila is around 100 quid a month for a nice two bed terraced house in Las Pinas, full of ants
This is a lot more than most Filipinos get from abroad but in my case we have no other earners in the family, Tatay died some years ago and Nanay has been living with us for the last 5 years.
Food bills are around 3500 peso a week for 2 adults and 3 kids, (my partner is not at home just now) that provides 3 meals a day for the family and my daughter is still on bottled milk which is unfortunately expensive over there, that adds a lot each week to the food bills.
This works out at around 33 peso a meal per person on average, 105 meals a week at 33 peso a meal, it's not a lot is it?
Electric is 3000 peso a month. (we have the luxury of aircon although I dont know how much longer we can keep that up)
Water is 800 peso a month.
TV is 450 peso a month. (I have TV in the UK why should my family NOT have it in the Phils).
Emergencies never stop, in the Phils there is always someone in deep doo-doo, in the early years I helped a lot but I simply can't anymore.
You might think that the Filipino partner is just trying to milk the foriegn asawa for as much as possible but in reality when in our case the (really extended) family were constantly trying to get help, it upsets and hurts the Filipina tremendously as she does not want to be constantly asking her partner for help but her family can put her under terrible pressure to obtain help and as others have said Filipinos often have no idea of relative wealth or just what it's actually costing the foreign spouse.
The Philippines is such a disaster and black hole that no amount of help will ever be enough but that does not give one an excuse to provide less than is needed for a basic decent standard of living.
In my opinion that level is around 35,000 peso a month, we live above that standard but I don't know for how much longer we can afford that :(
If you are already a family in the UK and both of you are trying to help family back in the Phils then a couple of hundred is more reasonable.
Without aircon electric bills would genreally be around 1500 peso a month (constant use of electric fans for cooling and a basic fridge/freezer)
Water is always going to be around 500 to 800 peso a month.
Gas will be 1500 peso evey two months
Rent will be whatever you can afford, if your family is living in a slum then you are maybe paying 1000 peso a month in a half decent place Manila you might be paying 9000 peso a month.
Equivalent of Council tax is for us in our current house in our subdivision is just 200 peso a month (garbage collection etc.) in our condo a few years ago it was 1500 peso a month for association fees.
Remember that any illness will cost money when you have a newborn every vaccination will cost money and some of them are 7000 or 8000 peso.
We spent around 80,000 peso last year on hospital fees when my daughter was born, a couple of days later I was talking to my taxi driver and found out that his wife had just given birth as well, total cost 1100 peso
Lastly as an example of the kind of emergencies that always happen, a few days before my daughter was born last year my partners neice was also giving birth, she is only 19, she nearly died in childbirth she was haemorrhaging badly after delivery and no one in the family could help everyone was broke (and we have a few OFW's in the extended family) anyway it was left to me I had to help what choice did I have, I knew this girl really well she was my future brother in laws youngest, could I let her die?
This is what you are letting yourself get into when you get involved with a Filipina, don't get me wrong the adventure is huge and the rewards will help you grow up in ways that you never imagined possible, it will make a better person of you, but is it no easy path to paradise getting involved with a Filipina, they are a very beautiful people with the richest souls I have ever met but they live in a complicated world.
Jim
We spent around 80,000 peso last year on hospital fees when my daughter was born, a couple of days later I was talking to my taxi driver and found out that his wife had just given birth as well, total cost 1100 peso
Lastly as an example of the kind of emergencies that always happen, a few days before my daughter was born last year my partners neice was also giving birth, she is only 19, she nearly died in childbirth she was haemorrhaging badly after delivery and no one in the family could help everyone was broke (and we have a few OFW's in the extended family) anyway it was left to me I had to help what choice did I have, I knew this girl really well she was my future brother in laws youngest, could I let her die?
This is what you are letting yourself get into when you get involved with a Filipina, don't get me wrong the adventure is huge and the rewards will help you grow up in ways that you never imagined possible, it will make a better person of you, but is it no easy path to paradise getting involved with a Filipina, they are a very beautiful people with the richest souls I have ever met but they live in a complicated world.
Jim
i use to have money in the bank now i'm living on credit
same situation as you jim, supported my now wife, her aunt, 2 kids to support thru school and uni, and all the emergencies that came along in the last 9yrs i've known the misses.
like you, just this year, me and the misses have paid nearly £1,000 for a caesarean op for my stepsons g/f, now an extra 2 mouths to feed (his g/f and a baby)
also we've had to pay for scans and treatment for the father in law..£100s more.
no one in my misses family has been living the easy life on what we send, we got it down to 20k a month by moving her aunt,stepson and his cousin back to my misses mom on palawan.
but were lucky, my wife is a reg doc in the phils, and hopefully by the end of oct, she will be able to work in the UK as a doc, its taken 4yrs in the uk to get this far because of the
and the problems in the phils were least of my worries compared to the problems i've had in the uk over the last 5yrs. but that's another story
good luck jim, i've been there to
Three words..........."Its only money"
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Hard to live in Pinas that's why we all work together on how we can survive.
My dad was a farmer eversince and they were married early thru kasunduan (marriage arrangement by my grandparents) and had 10 kids but 3 passed away. But they were determined to raise us in good way. They had a goal which is to send us all to uni. They always said, EDUCATION cannot steal. So we tried to be all educated including our nieces and nephews.
There were always agreement, we will not eat too much meat if we want to survive and finish our course as they cannot afford to buy meat for us. We usually had fish and veggies all from farm and we are happy if we killed chicken to eat. I used to take rice +veggies+fish in banana leaves in the Uni where I was studying. Whilst my classmates food meat+rice in a decent tupper ware
When our eldest graduated, she helped my parents, as well as other elder brod and sis. Luckily I'm the 7th so I got more help from other sis and brods.
Almost all of them already finished their course and some nieces and nephews left studying. That is where my hard earned money goes. I am helping my nephew because my sis cannot able to find a job due to her difficulty of hearing and her hubby always help my Nanay in the farm. Her kid is brilliant, he's a Town mayor scholar so I only paid his 1 year sevice bus, and allowance. It is also my pleasure to send money to my Nanay as she did all the best for us. I want to pamper her as much as possible as she is already old and sending her is my happiness. That my goal before so I feel happy in supporting her. I am thankful and proud of her that she and my Tatay raised us brilliantly and taught us the golden rule. I feel 100-200£/month is not bad.
Hi Tonet,
None of my business but i cant help wonder if you plan to get your own place soon, are you saving between you both to get your own place?
But good on you for sending your own hard earned££
You are so imaginative when it comes to oil and soapSmooth bubbly soapy asian/western mixes?And Bubbly also?Sounds like the champagne soapy massages I used to have in Pattaya,lets quickly skate over that and get back on the road to how much
Try powder then
Another man having too much fantasy loldo you have photos to prove this theory?
because i tried this with my wife when i was washing the car.
Take your car to carwash Born@. For only 10£ you can have soapy wash and good BJ after rinse
i use to have money in the bank now i'm living on credit
same situation as you jim, supported my now wife, her aunt, 2 kids to support thru school and uni, and all the emergencies that came along in the last 9yrs i've known the misses.
like you, just this year, me and the misses have paid nearly £1,000 for a caesarean op for my stepsons g/f, now an extra 2 mouths to feed (his g/f and a baby)
also we've had to pay for scans and treatment for the father in law..£100s more.
no one in my misses family has been living the easy life on what we send, we got it down to 20k a month by moving her aunt,stepson and his cousin back to my misses mom on palawan.
but were lucky, my wife is a reg doc in the phils, and hopefully by the end of oct, she will be able to work in the UK as a doc, its taken 4yrs in the uk to get this far because of the
and the problems in the phils were least of my worries compared to the problems i've had in the uk over the last 5yrs. but that's another story
good luck jim, i've been there to
Cheers sir.
Well I'm at the walang pera stage now
Yes it's only pera and I guess it's the fate of all foreign asawa's (and all OFW's)
I don't resent any of it, I just worry like hell all the time
We don't have any family in the provinces although Nanay was originally from Samar and Tatay was from Bohol but the family is very much Manila based and as you know Manila is much more expensive than the provinces, there are times I would like to send a few of them far away into the jungle though.
One nephew got into trouble last year, it wasn't his fault but he had been hanging around near where some other kids were causing trouble and ended up getting a bullet in the backside from an over zealous Barangay officer, the Barangay officer ended up in the jail I think.
I generally find that the boys in the family are a lot more clueless than the girls, the girls have a much greater sense of responsibiliy, but I suppose that is true over here as well these days.
Good luck to you too !
Jim
Yeah I've been thinking that for a long time, my biggest fears are the declining pound the rising peso and all those really beautiful pregnant Filipino lassies.Three words..........."Its only money"
My partner never looked more beautiful than when she was pregnant but 2 kids were enough for us I finally got the operation last November here in the UK.
Then when I arrived at Christmas we were taking at night and one of our friends had been saying how beautiful our daughter was (she's a right wee Scottish lassie, the spitting image of me, almost nothing of her mother in her at all) and why don't we try for another one
Obviously at that point it could have still happened for us as it can take up to 6 months before a vasectomy is fully effective.
Nae wonder there are always problems
It's why I love them all though, crazy country
I have the utmost respect for what you say and what your family have gone through to educate the kids, I wish the British were more like that these days, my parents generation had these values but somewhere through the years a lot of that has been lost from British society.Hard to live in Pinas that's why we all work together on how we can survive.
My dad was a farmer eversince and they were married early thru kasunduan (marriage arrangement by my grandparents) and had 10 kids but 3 passed away. But they were determined to raise us in good way. They had a goal which is to send us all to uni. They always said, EDUCATION cannot steal. So we tried to be all educated including our nieces and nephews.
There were always agreement, we will not eat too much meat if we want to survive and finish our course as they cannot afford to buy meat for us. We usually had fish and veggies all from farm and we are happy if we killed chicken to eat. I used to take rice +veggies+fish in banana leaves in the Uni where I was studying
When our eldest graduated, she helped my parents, as well as other elder brod and sis. Luckily I'm the 7th so I got more help from other sis and brods.
Almost all of them already finished their course and some nieces and nephews left studying. That is where my hard earned money goes. I am helping my nephew because my sis cannot able to find a job due to her difficulty of hearing and her hubby always help my Nanay in the farm. Her kid is brilliant, he's a Town mayor scholar so I only paid his 1 year sevice bus, and allowance. It is also my pleasure to send money to my Nanay as she did all the best for us. I want to pamper her as much as possible as she is already old and sending her is my happiness. That my goal before so I feel happy in supporting her. I am thankful and proud of her that she and my Tatay raised us brilliantly and taught us the golden rule. I feel 100-200£/month is not bad.
Jim
neither do I,I don't resent any of it, I just worry like hell all the time
got my misses thru med school, got her cousin nearly thru uni doing a nursing degree (why help him ? hes a great guy, never had a break in his life, no parents, no family only family is my misses, and he is like a brother to my misses), stepson half way thru uni.
all the visa's are paid for, wife is a british citizen now, stepson has ILR, total cost of visa's was more than £4,000 over the last 5yrs
and GMC - exams so my misses can work as a doc , cost me more than £2,500
so i've spend about £6,500 on visa's and exams in the last 5 yrs, that as a brit i have the privilege to pay for, but if i was a european living in the uk and married to my wife it wouldn't have cost me hardly anything.. but thats another story to
anyway after more than 4yrs, the
Dont feel insulted Matt,its asian culture,totally different from ours,though this system of dependancy looks set to continue for a long time in the future as pinas has a 3% population growth and is reliant on foreign remittances
Thanks Jim. I have noticed that here. When I was confined in the hospital 2 weeks ago, I met 5 doctors, 3 of them are asian (chinese, Indian and Pakistani) 1 black and 1 white. I was thinking why many doctors here are foreigners where we have known that British people are wealthy people and can afford to send their kids to uni.
Everynight, we move to other ward because the hospital has shortage of nurse to look after us. I am sure Philippine gov't can help NHS with this since we have hundreds of thousands of nurses. I'm also thinking why british doesn't want to study nursing and medicine so they will have no more job shortage in that skills.
I met a filipina with 12 year old son, she said at 16 she wants her son to marry white. I was shocked why she mentioned that, but asked her why and she said, they can survive even not finished college.
Yes that was the old days in ten years time there are going to be a lot of very unhappy thick uneducated british people that are not surviving very well times have changed.I met a filipina with 12 year old son, she said at 16 she wants her son to marry white. I was shocked why she mentioned that, but asked her why and she said, they can survive even not finished college.
Asia is where the future is I just hope some of the future prosperity of the region rubs off on the Phils this time.
the reason you see so many foreign docs is because of pay, a consultant for the NHS can get, upto £100k a year. imagine earning that, when you've been paid in the phils a 1/10 of that. that's why they came and also because of a shortage of English docs at the time, but the gov 5yrs ago, told the med schools to take more students in, now those students are docs, and are competing against foreign docs here, so the gov has made it harder for foreign docs to train as consultants here, as British ones are struggling to find jobs.
I see. That will be great! In few years we'll see more and more white doctors.
Thats not true penny, theres plenty of British that's colored, just because we are Brits don't mean we are all white.I see. That will be great! In few years we'll see more and more white doctors.
thou many are white who go to british med schools, many non white docs (or even some white docs - south african/american/aussie would have come here on HSMP or married a brit).
Oh sorry I should of say
Asian-British
White British
Black British
Like me, filipino british soon
applaud you all the way
i will just pen a few comparisons between manila and down in cagayan de oro
1 bedroom brand new apartment 6000 php month
water 250 php
electric = air con in bedroom ,even if i am there [more use] 1500 php month
nanny salary she more like an artie to mrs t 1500 php month [she is worth a lot more than that she 40 + and she has raised 6 kids on her own since her husband died a few years back ] SHE NEVER ASKS FOR NOTHING of course we help her out
cable and internet 2000php a big expence but we are online a lot and theres plenty on the tv for mrs T and the boy to watch
off course mrs T is coming to uk soon so we give up the apartment SOON ????
GAS BOTTLE i think one lasts about 4 months 500php
i think thats it except food
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