How much ££ for the family

[Sophie]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

Hi neil, is your wife the breadwinner of the family?
How desperate do you think her family needs help? I think you put that into consideration before sending money....
You don't want to encourage them to be lazy and be a free loader all the time,
specially the sibblings, if they are all grown up and adults....or even married and with kids already,
they should learn to fend for themselves - financial dependency may become a habit...
The parents, you could probably send some money specially if they are old and weak and needs medical maintenance.....
Just my opinion though, no ofence meant to anyone......

[IainBusby]

Now thats the bit that would bother me! "Asking or more than whats needed"

Sounds like people pay about £200 per month, but then get hit with "Extras" for this that and the kitchen sink. So probably more like £400 per month if your a good boy.

Hmmm sounds like wifeypoos needs a part time job. Well thats what would cross my mind

P5,000 a month is enough, especially in the provinces. That much is a living wage out there. If you give more it only encourages dependency and they will never even try to do anything for themselves.

I firmly believe that you should try to equate it to being on the dole in this country without all the extras that many people in the UK get. If the government here gave you more than you need to live on and enough for luxuries as well while you were on the dole, you'd never even try to find a job.

As far as the extras/emergencies go, question everything and check them out as thoroughly as you can before you send more money. Just make sure you don't fall into an expectation "they ask, you send" relationship with them.

Iain.
Iain.

[kenny]

Unfortunately they tend to think we are extremely rich, so they usually expect a lot more than they would really need for mere support.
Iain.

The thing is, the english pound is usually very strong in the Philippines and goes a long way. What filipinos may not realise is that the pound does not go a long way here in England.
I would say only in real emergency

[jakeob]

I can imagine a lot depends on your wife, and how she handles here family back home when they make requests for money. If she stands firm with them and sends only what is reasonable and can be well afforded then i am sure things would work out fine.

Just working out what is reasonable i guess is where the problems are!

[vbkelly]

i send a money back home £200 a month for 4 people live in the house

[pennybarry]

As much as possible, we, filipinas are trying NOT to depend with our husband.
We have also patience if our husband has no money to give us and we are also trying to help our hubby if he's in trouble with money. We can help by being patient and understanding.
We are not picky in job hunting as long as it will not harm others. This will help us not to depend too much from our husband.
Some problem arise if filipina turns into liar. If they cannot and no chance to land a job, they nicked and send money without hubby's permission. This is the saddest thing as I can't think any reason why some do that.
We all have family in Pinas, it depends on the sender how she control sending too much that will affect their relationship.
Tell your wifey to tell everything to you in the beginning, especially when it comes to money matters. You will surely have a good agreement if you discuss this beforehand.
They said it's only MONEY, but it is also the start of trouble of every relationship.
I felt, if I didn't discuss this to my hubby beforehand, I might get in trouble with him. And if I tell him something why I need that amount, he gives me some additional to my hard earned money and send it together.

That's the importance of telling true and making agreement about your financial capabilities.
I send about 100-200£/ month. That's the only amount I can afford and my Nanay is very happy for that.

[kimmi]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

hi Neil,

I think this is really a case to case basis. If you can afford to send each month then good for u. But make sure u know when to say NO. In our case, Hubby and I are both working, we both shared the bills and expenses and what's left is for our savings and if there's still left that's what we send home though I know my parents are not expecting us to send them anything and we're surprised to know that my dad keep all of them in a bank account and they only uses it for emergency i.e hospital bills.

I think it will be better if u discussed it with ur future wife..

[jakeob]

Hi neil, is your wife the breadwinner of the family?
How desperate do you think her family needs help?

Hi Sophie, yes i see your points here, every situation is a little different, i am just looking at the pros and cons before i set down that long road to looking for a Philippina

n

[Sophie]

Hi neil, is your wife the breadwinner of the family?
How desperate do you think her family needs help?

Hi Sophie, yes i see your points here, every situation is a little different, i am just looking at the pros and cons before i set down that long road to looking for a Philippina

n

Oh ok lol, i thought you're with a filipina wife already, i forgot your other thread, saying you're open to the idea of a filipina wife....
Anyway, it's good you're trying to get as much information as you can,
so in case you finally meet one, you're fully aware and prepared of the pros and cons

[joebloggs]

my wife use to say, it's just money when i had to send money to the phils , it's easy to spend and waste someone elses money.

funny since my wife has been working, and now we send some of her wages back to the phils, its not longer just money, but money she has had to earn and we dont send as much as we use to

only send what you can easily afford, dont get your self in debt or let it get out of hand

[jakeob]

Joblogs, thats a great storey, ahahaha now your wife is working and sending her own wages its no longer "Just Money" and now the family get less

n

[trader dave]

READ READ AND READ AGAIN http://www.british-filipino.com/

[KeithD]

READ READ AND READ AGAIN http://www.british-filipino.com/

Spammer

[Matt7]

You're an adult aren't you It's not like there's set figures or anything

On a personal level I'd be insulted if dontpushme asked me to send money back to the Philippines, but I guess I'm pretty lucky because she'd never ask me in the first place, (not that I have any to send)

If you're absolutely intent on sending money back, why not tell your other half that you'll match whatever she sends back? Sounds fair, no?

But I definitely wouldn't feel obliged to send anything back, like Win2Win (I believe) mentioned, they coped before you came along, they can cope when you're there

[bornatbirth]

On a personal level I'd be insulted if dontpushme asked me to send money back to the Philippines, but I guess I'm pretty lucky because she'd never ask me in the first place, (not that I have any to send)

whys it an insult?

its completely natural to support someone you have a relationship with,i guess your lucky not needing to support your gf or her family or maybe they wont accept it like my wifes family!

[maria_and_matt]

i am glad i am not married to any of you guys

[Matt7]

whys it an insult?

its completely natural to support someone you have a relationship with,i guess your lucky not needing to support your gf or her family or maybe they wont accept it like my wifes family!

Guess its the way I've entered the relationship. If she were to suddenly turn around and say "yeah send £x back to the Philippines every month". Why should I? Would she stop loving me if I didn't? Would she resent me?

I've never sent money to any girlfriends families in the UK, so to me it's not completely natural. If part of the reason a girl wants to marry me is because I have the £££ to support her family then I think I have every right to feel insulted.

[joebloggs]

On a personal level I'd be insulted if dontpushme asked me to send money back to the Philippines, but I guess I'm pretty lucky because she'd never ask me in the first place, (not that I have any to send)

well at least she knows where you stand on sending money then

but what would happen if she needed it for an emergency, or she lost her job, was at uni studying, her family were poor, you still wouldn't help

it all depends on circumstances. and if you can afford to help, but insulted is a strong word to use ..

if your parents didn't have much would you help them out ? or let them struggle ??

[Tawi2]

Dont feel insulted Matt,its asian culture,totally different from ours,though this system of dependancy looks set to continue for a long time in the future as pinas has a 3% population growth and is reliant on foreign remittances Also remember we all live according to our means,we adjust to whatever we have in our accounts or the salary we are earning,the more you send the more they spend

[pennybarry]

the more you send the more they spend

yes because the cost of living in Pinas is getting high

But lol I'm turned off to kuripots although I don't really ask money.

Do u know what I mean Tawi?

[Tawi2]

Dili ko kuripot Pen,but Asian culture and Western culture are often like oil and water,they dont mix well

[pennybarry]

Dili ko kuripot Pen,but Asian culture and Western culture are often like oil and water,they dont mix well

Well, add detergent soap Tawi and they will mix together smoothly and bubbly.

[Tawi2]

Smooth bubbly soapy asian/western mixes?And Bubbly also?Sounds like the champagne soapy massages I used to have in Pattaya,lets quickly skate over that and get back on the road to how much (It used to be 1000 baht).

[bornatbirth]

Well, add detergent soap Tawi and they will mix together smoothly and bubbly.

do you have photos to prove this theory?

because i tried this with my wife when i was washing the car.

[Gavanddal]

Nothing is the best answer. They survived before you without your money.

Too right! You don't want to be seen as a soft touch.

[Tonet]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

I arrived here on a fiancee visa (not allowed to work) so my husband used to send money to my family. He sent P10,000 monthly, but when i started working i sent from my own money.

For a year i sent them £400-£500 monthly, because i support my mother, 2 brothers and their family.Most of the people here would probably not do that but i do because i have to.

None of my 6 brothers managed to finish primary school because we cant afford to, so no chance to get a good paying job.They helped me before that's why i managed finished high school, so now its my turn to help.

My husband doesnt mind he just doesnt like me spending almost all of my money to them and not buying anything for my self, but i always ask him "would you rather see me buying endless clothes, bags shoes etc while my family are starving?" My mother have struggle financially all her life, now that i have a chance to make her life a lil better why should'nt i?

I managed to help because we are currently staying with his parents but things would need to change if we have our own place. that's why last april i bought a jeep for my 1st bro and a tricycle for the 2nd so they can start supporting themselves, and be prepared for the time that i cant afford to send anymore.

I'm telling this to show example of a situation, if my family doesnt need help i would'nt even send. You couldnt really give a specific amount to send, it depends on your situation and theirs as well

[joebloggs]

For a year i sent them £400-£500 monthly, because i support my mother, 2 brothers and their family.Most of the people here would probably not do that but i do because i have to.

None of my 6 brothers managed to finish primary school because we cant afford to, so no chance to get a good paying job.They helped me before that's why i managed finished high school, so now its my turn to help.

My husband doesnt mind he just doesnt like me spending almost all of my money to them and not buying anything for my self, but i always ask him "would you rather see me buying endless clothes, bags shoes etc while my family are starving?" My mother have struggle financially all her life, now that i have a chance to make her life a lil better why should'nt i?

just like my wife, her mom and sister helped get her thru uni when she was doing her biology degree, without their help she would never have been able to go, she owes her aunt for giving up her job for years to look after my stepson and our little gal..

it's pay back time, without their sacrifices my misses would never have got so far, or be doing the job she dreamed of since she was a little kid.

my misses is making sacrifices now, because she is repaying the debt she owes, she has not seen her family for more than 4yrs.. respect to those who repay their debts and to those husbands who understand and support their wife.

[Matt7]

well at least she knows where you stand on sending money then

but what would happen if she needed it for an emergency, or she lost her job, was at uni studying, her family were poor, you still wouldn't help

it all depends on circumstances. and if you can afford to help, but insulted is a strong word to use ..

if your parents didn't have much would you help them out ? or let them struggle ??

It's not really though, I want a girl to be in a relationship with me for the right reasons. If she has ulterior motives then I'd feel insulted by them

Obviously there are extenuating circumstances. If the girls family lived in abject poverty then I'd want to help, but if I was sending hard earned cash back to fund lavish spending when the family was already comfortable then its absolute nonsense.

Luckily this is all hypothetical

*edit - Can I just add its not my intention to offend anyone here, perhaps I'm just a little naive. But I get annoyed at the times people are somewhat "expected" to fund other peoples lifestyles, taxpayers fund enough lifestyles in the UK, but thats a different beast. I am more that willing to admit many people in the Philippines do need some kind of assistance though, especially considering there is no Welfare (I think I'm right with that? Or maybe just a little misinformed).

[joebloggs]

exactly matt your g/f is one of the lucky ones then

but many are not so lucky, and everyday is a struggle, my misses didn't have inet when i first chatted to her, as a student living 100s of miles from home, she had no money, i could say or i could help. most the money i sent went to the misses not to buy things she didn't need but to pay the bills, uni fees etc, and now much of it goes to pay for her son to get thru uni, no one is having an easy time or buying plasma tv's with the money we send. . there is helping and repaying debts owed and their is taking the

[joebloggs]

I am more that willing to admit many people in the Philippines do need some kind of assistance though, especially considering there is no Welfare (I think I'm right with that? Or maybe just a little misinformed).

have you been to the phils, near manila port ? where there are people with nothing !, sleeping on the streets, living in slums

my misses wouldn't let me go anywhere near the place. no welfare, nothing.