what would you do?

[trader dave]

and yes tawi sophi bt and dg

me and mrs T are fine she will be back she is a little embarresed but you know me i got a neck like a jockeys b*llocks [tawi will explain that]

as i said before this not her week ladys problems

there was another reason she has a hissi fit on here because a member [i think he is a member] took all the trouble to search ym and skype untill he found her number then called her now if you want to talk to someone talk to them on here PM THEM this guy was very sad that she was upset with her husband and he made a few derogatory remarks concerning the english

so who was it ??? anyone brave enough to come out of the woodwork

i dont bite yet

[D&G]

when you are talking about your friends they are in the philippines ??

yes my friends here in the Philippines...it is so shocking to know that only 1 out 10 married friends got a happy marriage they are either a victim of domestic violence or unfaithful husband i don't understand why they have to put up with it and pretend to the whole world that they got a perfect marriage...(another cultural issue )

[D&G]

D&G women are the same as guys quite often,I dont know if theres an infidelity gene but I am sure I am not the only one on this forum who in the past has met quite a number of pinays who cheated on their husbands

We don't know how many people exactly are unfaithful...but we can have a good guess that one-half of married men and one-third of married women became unfaithful in some ways at least once?? ... there's no infidelity gene i think...sometimes there's a truth in this common belief/Mythology : MEN ARE POLYGAMOUS BY NATURE

[trader dave]

strange...but did she try to ask her hubby why ..whats the reason behind his unusual behaviour? i find it strange really but it could also be the wifey is too noisy while doing the deed so he has to quite her down

oooooo we are talking about the pillow over the face i cant comment on that

but some women do like to be abused ,dominated even forced to have sex ,roll play it turns them on TRUE


i did not realy mean that sorry

i meant why does this guy or any guy come to that need to be unfaithfull???

me and MRS T have discussed this like we have everything ,no boundaries ,no secrets , a guy is not unfaithfull for nothing ??? right or wrong ??? the guys 40 + he is not a young studd of 20 that needs sex every 2 mins ------ can you see where i am going on this ?????

i will wait for further comment before i carry on

[Tawi2]

Someone phoned your wife Dave From this site I would be a little disturbed if that were to happen to me D&G when I was based in Hong Kong the discos of Wanchai were jam-packed with married pinays each weekend,I also had a mate who had a wierd sort of domestic relationship as his DH was married in pinas but was very friendly with him when his wife wasnt in the house When I read about the demure,devoted,shy,loving caring pinays I always wonder if the guys eulogising live in some sort of Pinay utopia where the ladies never screech like cats,sulk like kids or bang and clash around the house in temper like a caribbean steel-band

[trader dave]

Someone phoned your wife Dave ............... an old ex way before i came on the scene no problem as i told her why does he not just say hello just a strange way to go about things


back to the thread where was i i realy dont agree with those that say .....if my husband makes one mistake i will divorce him

do you realy care that little about your marriage we all make mistakes surely its not 1 strike and you are out

as someone quoted only 1 out of 10 of her friends are happly married i find that very very very sad

but i know what others are thinking .....who are you to talk you are on wife mk 3 of course i have an answer to that as well

[pocahontas]

can i say something... above all who answered this post early for this issue...you guys are great to give this very positive...you know having new bf, having new career, new life, be strong... and as my own opinion.. we are now living in very highs standard of life a very open mind life..being catholic or even not catholic my point is its not about the religion its about you and your life...thats is the issue...wake up!if you have a kids that will make your world enough. leave your husband and live for your kids... your not alone... life is too short make it worth atleast not for your self but for your kids..isnt it.

[trader dave]

can i say something... above all who answered this post early for this issue...you guys are great to give this very positive...you know having new bf, having new career, new life, be strong... and as my own opinion.. we are now living in very highs standard of life a very open mind life..being catholic or even not catholic my point is its not about the religion its about you and your life...thats is the issue...wake up!if you have a kids that will make your world enough. leave your husband and live for your kids... your not alone... life is too short make it worth atleast not for your self but for your kids..isnt it.

dont kids deserve 2 loving caring parents and i say loving ??/

[Tawi2]

And there was me almost,yup almost suckered into believing the old till-death-us-do-part pinay mantra,its a fact that when some women leave pinas and the claustrophobic confines of their religion and their families ever watchfull gaze they become westernised and they change they do indeed change,not all thats a generalisation,but a goodly number And while I think D&G's statistics of 1 in 10 is quite high I do actually know a number of ladies in Pinas who if they had a get-out clause or an escape route would leave their husbands,its only the massive cost of annulment and no where to go with a handfull of kids that stops them jumping ship.

[trader dave]

And there was me almost,yup almost suckered into believing the old till-death-us-do-part pinay mantra,its a fact that when some women leave pinas and the claustrophobic confines of their religion and their families ever watchfull gaze they become westernised and they change they do indeed change,not all thats a generalisation,but a goodly number And while I think D&G's statistics of 1 in 10 is quite high I do actually know a number of ladies in Pinas who if they had a get-out clause or an escape route would leave their husbands,its only the massive cost of annulment and no where to go with a handfull of kids that stops them jumping ship.

tawi my ol friend you hit exactly what i was trying to say ........they become westernised and they change they do indeed change,not all thats a generalisation

now thats when the problems start girls DONT CHANGE i for one do not want a westernised pilipina with western ideas and ideals

[Tawi2]

Its like bird watching,the more you study our feathered friends the more you find out about their habitat,their habits and characteristics I have known quite a few women who started out quiet,demure,shy Once they are abroad and their family ties are cast off they become totally different people with a whole new persona Not all of them but enough so its noticeable Better not sat this too loudly but I always suspected one or two might have married their guys just to get out of pinas,the love faded and whithered like an unnurtured flower The more you mingle with various groups the more you learn eye opening things,I have met one or two who admitted to being with their husbands for companionship

[JimOttley]

I have known quite a few women who started out quiet,demure,shy Once they are abroad and their family ties are cast off they become totally different people with a whole new persona Not all of them but enough so its noticeable Better not sat this too loudly but I always suspected one or two might have married their guys just to get out of pinas,the love faded and whithered like an unnurtured flower

Tawi, kids here in the UK are often shy and quiet before they go to University or College.

The experience of being away from home in an open minded environment can totally transform these kids, they grow up, develop opinions, assert themselves, they become self confident.

In a sense going abroad for a naturally shy Filipino is a very similar experience but one that has gets deferred until that exposure to the foreign culture actually happens.

Doesn't matter how old you are, we all change throughout our lives sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. For me I would expect the change of environment to bring change to the person, I think it unlikely that the person would remain static not growing into the new environment they find themselves in?

For what it is worth the amount of time I've spent in the Philippines has definitely changed me (for the better I hope) I had attained an old fart mentality by the time I first went to the Phils but I have a much more optimistic outlook on life these days

Maria, you're in a hellish position, if your friend's story is anywhere near accurate then she is in the company of a dangerous, sick, selfish man and needs to escape.

It's no different to a disfunctional relationship anywhere else, just more tragic given the hope for a better future that is often implicit in a Philippine/Foreigner relationship.

You cant fix it for her and you need to be blunt with her.

I had a Catholic upbringing, I understand the faith but enough is enough when a man treats his wife that way.

Pillow? jeez. :(


Jim

[D&G]

i realy dont agree with those that say .....if my husband makes one mistake i will divorce him

do you realy care that little about your marriage we all make mistakes surely its not 1 strike and you are out

as someone quoted only 1 out of 10 of her friends are happly married i find that very very very sad

i agree with you Dave...disagreements should not always end up in divorce. Because we are HUMAN, we are bound to make MISTAKES...(except those habitual mistakes & pre-meditated mistakes though ) I believe that we should give our best to make the marriage/relationship work...and it is not right to "jump ship" at the very first sign of a turbulence.

To hold your marriage or relationship together takes more than mere romance...it takes knowledge, commitment and hard work

[bystander09]

Someone phoned your wife Dave From this site I would be a little disturbed if that were to happen to me D&G when I was based in Hong Kong the discos of Wanchai were jam-packed with married pinays each weekend,I also had a mate who had a wierd sort of domestic relationship as his DH was married in pinas but was very friendly with him when his wife wasnt in the house When I read about the demure,devoted,shy,loving caring pinays I always wonder if the guys eulogising live in some sort of Pinay utopia where the ladies never screech like cats,sulk like kids or bang and clash around the house in temper like a caribbean steel-band

Indeed every coin has two faces...

bystander

[Tawi2]

Indeed every coin has two faces...

bystander

I have always been able to see the obverse and reverse,but some guys arent numismatists and just never see past the face value