whats my chance of long term success??

[miss.piggy]

I am wondering if anybody will come forward and say "I married a Young Beauty and its going great"" thats after they have lived together here in the uk for some years.

Hi Jakeob,

I was 24 and my husband's 41 when we got married. I won't tackle about how we are physically as I didn't really think about it at the time.

I commend Florge's post. My husband and I spent a lot of time together before we decided to marry. It made a big difference at the time of the wedding because we both didn't have any hesitations that what we're doing is right. We were both comfortable, and looking forward to a lifetime of being together.

Philip and I are getting stronger together . We never discussed our age at all. It's just a number (or numbers) -- what's important is your level of thinking. Beauty? It's good to be beautiful but physical beauty is superficial, what's important is the person within.

You are not rich. If that's an issue for her, then don't marry. Please don't ever believe that you have to be rich to be able to marry a Filipina and have a lasting relationship. On your own way, you can show her that you are not exactly Mr. Branson. If she's true to you, then this won't matter.

Wishing you all the best!

[Tawi2]

.

[britishdetained]

A lasting relationship does not depends on the age gap between a husband and wife. It is how both of you can stay truthful, loyal, loving and have TRUST and RESPECT to each other.

[aposhark]

Filipina....filipina....filipina She is a woman not an ethnicityNot a fashion accoutrement,if you have any doubts stop,catch your breath and think things through,if your having doubts this early in the game do you want to go onto the pitch and play?As for the age difference,well,thats between the two of you to work out,if you dont feel comfortable with it ask yourself what would a 42 year old in the UK have in common with the typical 23 year old kid that could sustain a marriage Every situation is different,every couple are different,no two are even remotely the same,good luck in your quest whatever happens I am sure it will work itself out in time

I'm not really sure of the relevance of what I highlighted in your reply
The woman he is concerned about is a Filipina.

[Sim11UK]

If you both really want it, you can have it.

You really need to get over there & pay her a visit....You also need to see that you like the Philippines too. Regardless of whether you bring her to the UK, you're always going to have a relationship with the Philippines.

It's possible, the age gap could cause problems, but it is down to individual circumstances. I think jimottley makes a good point, in a few years, when you are old and she is still relatively young. I think this is a point often overlooked....I'm not criticising, I'm just stating a fact.

But get over there and see for yourselves.

[IainBusby]

I can live with the family support thing to a certain degree.

what would be a guestimate of long term success???

You are not rich. If that's an issue for her, then don't marry.

Firstly, you say that you can live with the family support thing to a certain extent, but does she know what level of monthly support you would be comfortable with? This is something that you would have to iron out with her and have set in stone if your not going to be constantly arguing about it in the future.

Regardless of how much you say you are prepared to send, she will probably have it in her mind that on top of that, she will work when she gets to the UK and that she will send the bulk of her earnings home. Many Filipina's talk a lot about "family" but when the marry a foriegner and come to the UK, I have never managed to find out when that change happens, when they decide that she and her new husband are also a family and that they should combine their incomes as is common in the UK, so that the can afford the good things in life, nice home hloidays etc. If you are not rich, as I and many others on this forum are not, then you will need to let her know how things normally work in this country and that she will also have to contribute towards the household bills and outgoings.

With regard to your guesstimate of how long this might all take to be successful, it depends on so many things. You say she has a child, but is she married. Some Filipina's have a tendency to brush little details like this under the carpet at the chatting stage and if she is married, she will need to go through an annulment which is a long and expensive process.

With regard to her child, I would assume that she would want to bring the child to the UK with her. What you need to know with regard to this is, is the father of the child named on the birth certificate, does he support the child and does he have contact with the child, regular or otherwise. If the answer to any of those questions is yes, it may take longer to get the visa application sorted out and you may find that you will have to pay off (bribe) the father of the child to do so.

If there are no flies in the ointment, with regard to her marital staus or the childs father, then I would suggest you go and visit her for at least 2 weeks, longer if possible and if it all works out, start making preperations for a second visit and the wedding.

Iain.

[jencha8569]

Firstly, you say that you can live with the family support thing to a certain extent, but does she know what level of monthly support you would be comfortable with? This is something that you would have to iron out with her and have set in stone if your not going to be constantly arguing about it in the future.

Regardless of how much you say you are prepared to send, she will probably have it in her mind that on top of that, she will work when she gets to the UK and that she will send the bulk of her earnings home. Many Filipina's talk a lot about "family" but when the marry a foriegner and come to the UK, I have never managed to find out when that change happens, when they decide that she and her new husband are also a family and that they should combine their incomes as is common in the UK, so that the can afford the good things in life, nice home hloidays etc. If you are not rich, as I and many others on this forum are not, then you will need to let her know how things normally work in this country and that she will also have to contribute towards the household bills and outgoings.

With regard to your guesstimate of how long this might all take to be successful, it depends on so many things. You say she has a child, but is she married. Some Filipina's have a tendency to brush little details like this under the carpet at the chatting stage and if she is married, she will need to go through an annulment which is a long and expensive process.

With regard to her child, I would assume that she would want to bring the child to the UK with her. What you need to know with regard to this is, is the father of the child named on the birth certificate, does he support the child and does he have contact with the child, regular or otherwise. If the answer to any of those questions is yes, it may take longer to get the visa application sorted out and you may find that you will have to pay off (bribe) the father of the child to do so.

If there are no flies in the ointment, with regard to her marital staus or the childs father, then I would suggest you go and visit her for at least 2 weeks, longer if possible and if it all works out, start making preperations for a second visit and the wedding.

Iain.

Totally agree

And I think you should visit first the girl to see for yourself if its worth pursuing to. It will be good too if you and her should talk things that will affect the relationship. Build a strong relationship first and see how it goes.
If u think she is the one then plan ahead after the visit prepare things for the visa. Foreign relationships can be tricky coz alot of things to consider, try to be more open. Any way you are taking my good luck and wishes to you

[trader dave]

hi jakeob glad you are making progress

some think the age gap is a problem others dont LIKE ME THE AGE BETWEEN MRS T AND ME IS 29 YEARS THE OLD SAYING IS YOU ARE AS OLD AS YOU FEEL i have never felt old my mind is very young we are so compatable in every sense we dont have a problem with the age gap i have learnt more from my young wife than i ever did from other older wifes

as for the age gap in future years i am afraid that is out of our hands someone else makes that decision live today gone tomorrow who knows

if it feels right jakeob do it go there and for want of a better word

TEST THE WATER

[aposhark]

hi jakeob glad you are making progress

some think the age gap is a problem others dont LIKE ME THE AGE BETWEEN MRS T AND ME IS 29 YEARS THE OLD SAYING IS YOU ARE AS OLD AS YOU FEEL i have never felt old my mind is very young we are so compatable in every sense we dont have a problem with the age gap i have learnt more from my young wife than i ever did from other older wifes

as for the age gap in future years i am afraid that is out of our hands someone else makes that decision live today gone tomorrow who knows

if it feels right jakeob do it go there and for want of a better word

TEST THE WATER