Quote Originally Posted by \\\\ToNy//// View Post
im lucky if she chats me once aweek now and she only chats a short time then stops answering me, ive always been so nice to her, always complimented her and never been moody or anything bad with her, i dont mind her useing me if that whats shes like, but she should stil treat me as a friend even if she not a real friend, i told her that i care for her and ill always be here for her,
i prefer to be used than have nothing, i treasure every moment with people
Tony, I can really understand where you are coming from, when I was young I had real trouble forming relationships, I felt a lot like you and I let myself get into the mindset of "I prefer to be used than have nothing" and I can tell you with absolute conviction that it won't ever work :( if you act like a doormat people will treat you like a doormat.

The problem is that when you have that mindset it shows up everywhere in your personality and people pick up on it not just women but everyone around you, that's why they shy away from you.

I am still quiet, still pretty shy in lots of ways but age brought a little confidence. I went twenty years with no one in my life, it's not so bad really there are lots of things that make life worth living but it was only when I stopped trying so hard that I was lucky enough to meet someone and be enough of myself for the nice guy in me to actually be visible on the outside.

You need to not try too hard, women really do pick up on it.

Jim