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Thread: Need help

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    Respected Member socool007's Avatar
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    Need help

    Hello all need some help i have just sent my wife back home to pinoy because she show me no love did not kiss or hold my hand,was very lazzy,She is 21 i am 46 and i love her a lot, she also had been texting 3 men . Do we have a future ?


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    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    computer says no?
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    Hello all need some help i have just sent my wife back home to pinoy because she show me no love did not kiss or hold my hand,was very lazzy,She is 21 i am 46 and i love her a lot, she also had been texting 3 men . Do we have a future ?
    Doesn't sound very promising.


  5. #5
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    can i ask as she always been like this?

    are you on a spouse or fiancee visa,have you talked this over,do you have any reasons why it became like this?

    what did she say about the texting and being lazy.

    i was joking before but only you can talk it through,its seems to me age difference and culture differences even personality differences come to mind.

    only the both of you can figure this out?
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


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    Hope u can sort the problems out soon

    All the best
    It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.


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    Quote Originally Posted by bornatbirth View Post
    can i ask as she always been like this?

    are you on a spouse or fiancee visa,have you talked this over,do you have any reasons why it became like this?

    what did she say about the texting and being lazy.

    i was joking before but only you can talk it through,its seems to me age difference and culture differences even personality differences come to mind.

    only the both of you can figure this out?
    Agree with you on this BAB
    It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.


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    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    Hello all need some help i have just sent my wife back home to pinoy because she show me no love did not kiss or hold my hand,was very lazzy,She is 21 i am 46 and i love her a lot, she also had been texting 3 men . Do we have a future ?
    was she always like this or has she changed over time ?

    maybe she's bored, suffering depression ?, home sick, no friends or family here. not so exciting for some filipina's when the excitement of being in a new country wears off.

    any idea's who the guys are or what was being texted ?


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    Respected Member socool007's Avatar
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    Sorry do not agree with you about LESS TALK, LESS MISTAKES! one prob was that she would not talk,text were british .we are on a spouse visa.she also takes lots of pics of herself but none of us both.I hope to save this marriage


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    Respected Member Sim11UK's Avatar
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    I was wondering, whether she was depressed, feeling isolated, culture shock etc?


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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    Sorry do not agree with you about LESS TALK, LESS MISTAKES! one prob was that she would not talk,text were british .we are on a spouse visa.she also takes lots of pics of herself but none of us both.I hope to save this marrage.
    That is only my signature

    Im hoping that you will save the marriage, but u cannot do that alone, unless you both can communicate and talk about the issue?

    I wish u all the best
    It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.


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    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    I hope to save this marrage.
    goodluck to you!

    can you not think when it started to change,joe pointed out some good points!

    how was you guys doing until it got like this?

    you really need to talk to her and ask her side of things and get really deep with her,if me and my wife were on the brink i would be doing all i can and beg her to stay before i let her go.

    what did you guys do together,did you work all the time,what did she get upto all day?

    did you make sure she was kept busy when she was alone.
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


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    Respected Member socool007's Avatar
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    She worked alot of nights.All day she would go on laptop on fraindster.com.She has an anty here but she would not talk with her about anything.


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member socool007's Avatar
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    She went back sat just gone she phoned me when she got home but it was only to ask for my help because could not get money from ATM,pants ah.


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  17. #17
    Respected Member sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    Hello all need some help i have just sent my wife back home to pinoy because she show me no love did not kiss or hold my hand,was very lazzy,She is 21 i am 46 and i love her a lot, she also had been texting 3 men . Do we have a future ?

    Hello I remember you, you waited for your wifes visa quite awhile because of her age. I was following that thread It took longer than usual at that time.

    Sorry to hear about what happened. Maybe she did not like the uk. She arrived there just late last year i think, it is vey quick of her to change attitude Was she very loving to you before? like kiss you and hold your hands when she was still here in philippines?
    Warren and Winnie


  18. #18
    Respected Member socool007's Avatar
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    She was better.


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    dont realy know about your situation but i have a young wife and i am getting along in years my wife is so close to me and so hot will she change when she comes to the uk


    i might be posting the same message as you next year ....... if i even thought that she would not be coming here in the begining and we would have not got married


    you have to ask the question WHAT HAS HAPPENED has she changed ,have you changed ,is she bored ,is she missing her family did she socialise a lot with friends in the philippines


    its a bit late now to say it was a mistake ...but many mistakes do happen

    can a marriage survive if you are at different ends of the world


  20. #20
    Respected Member abby's Avatar
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    oh no... its so sad to hear... just what other had said, try to figure out when did it happened.. what are the possible reason why she had changed... youre married now, you better solve the problem, save the relationship. i hope she's also working out to solve this problem!

    age doesnt matter, before you get married you both know the consequences especially the big gap...

    give her time to think, then dont forget to communicate - its the most important thing. remember the things you've been through before you have each other (i mean all the visa processing, the tension while waiting)..

    Godbless you too...


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    absence makes the heart grow fonder, that my hubby word with me and i agree with this tawionce his coming here to spend his holiday we are going to make up all the absences of our relationship so that we will be more closer and closer and lots of happiness happened


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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    She worked alot of nights.All day she would go on laptop on fraindster.com.She has an anty here but she would not talk with her about anything.
    i have friendster as well i go online every next day but if my husband is here i give my all time and attention to him cause his more important than my friendstermy husband is my bestfriend even we have a 29yrs gap but age doenst matter we are very open to our relationship and i can assure him i never change if im in uk one day cause i dont like to go out make socialise with my friends just wait for my hubby to go online and i never text or talk to any mens cause my hubby is more especial in my whole lifei have friends also in friendster she dont like to post her pictures of her husband only with her new bf in germany pictures she post in friendster because she feel embrassed to show her husband pics in the publicbut just talk to ur wife and open to her with u felt inside and give her time to talk to and tell u honestly.very nice in relationship is an open relationship from the start


  23. #23
    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    Oh dear me

    Just hope and pray for you both
    LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL


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    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    Hello all need some help i have just sent my wife back home to pinoy because she show me no love did not kiss or hold my hand,was very lazzy,She is 21 i am 46 and i love her a lot, she also had been texting 3 men . Do we have a future ?
    hi socool,

    sorry to hear what happened about u and ur wife..If I remember it right u were one of the couples in here who have waited longer for their visa because of ur wife's age right?

    anyway, with regards to ur situation I hope you dont mind if I ask u few questions.. based on your posts u have just sent ur wife back home to the Philippines because...

    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    She show me no love, did not kiss or hold my hand..
    - Have u talk to her about this? In what ways u think she's not showing love to u anymore?has she been like that since she arrived here in the UK or just recently? Are u already aware of the filipina sulking, so called "TAMPO"? Have u had a fight or any arguments that caused her not to kiss you or hold ur hand?

    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    was very lazzy
    in terms of what u think she is lazy?is it with household chores? has she been always like that? is she working she might be too tired from her work thats why she sometimes feel lazy because I do believe filipinas are known for being hard working people..

    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    she also had been texting 3 men . Do we have a future ?
    I dont see something wrong if she's texting 3 men as long as there's no hanky panky involve with it and she knows her limitation. She might be just texting her dad, her brother or some male friends?

    And if u are asking me if u have a future, I think it's only the two of you who can answer that question..It will be better if u have a heart to heart talk and tell her how u feel, have an open communication.. I dont think age difference is an issue in here as long as you love each other and both are willing to compromise.

    Goodluck and wishing you all the best..


  25. #25
    Respected Member socool007's Avatar
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    No the 3 men she meet in pub.she did work some nights but always on laptop.


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    Respected Member beppe's Avatar
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    In your shoes I would move on, after all the decision is yours.


  27. #27
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by socool007 View Post
    No the 3 men she meet in pub.she did work some nights but always on laptop.
    have u asked her already why is she texting those men?She might be feeling home sick or missing her family and friends in the Philippines. It is not easy to be miles away from them, especially if they were so close to each other.Is it your mutual decision for her to settle here in the UK?

    Though I still believe it takes two to tango, we dont know the other side of the coin and for me it still better if you talk to each other openly and discuss what is best for ur marriage.. Goodluck..


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    as my wife said its not a good sign if she is not sharing pictures of you BOTH on friendster i hear many storys of the things that do go on friendster

    even in your avatar picture your wife does look cold to me just an observation no offence intended
    if she has always been like this then i have to say she would not have been my cup of tea

    i have been involved with the phil anglo community for a lot of years and i have seen many couples here in the uk

    i have seen quite a few younger pilipna who suddenly change as soon as they get to the uk they start texting guys, they want to go out on there own[without you] with FRIENDS start going to discos
    normaly a few months later they have a YOUNGER BOYFRIEND i have seen it to many times

    reading between the lines i think maybe you made the right decision sending her back home


  29. #29
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    I will endorse your comments Dave,I have been around a bit like yourself,I was never a badge-wearing member of the "pinays are the best wives in the world"club because I never once looked at them as Filipinas nor understood the odd fascination some guys had with them,I always look at them as women first long before I would mention their ethnicity,I have known several "Age doesnt matter" kids who married older guys got to the land of opportunity and changed their characters quite quickly,I also know a few who turned into wives from hell,I hope this case is different and the love isnt one way traffic Theres an old chinese saying "Many are the tales with good beginings,fewer are those with happy endings"



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  30. #30
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    So sad Best of luck for the future no matter what you decide


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