Nice post from GP..........thanks
Nice post from GP..........thanks
as always, GREAT post PeteI love everything you wrote here. So right! Makes us understand more about the complexities of a fil-brit relationships and how to handle each diff'rences.
More!
Thank you Pete. Another absorbing read!
Al.
Pressed rat and warthog closed down their shop!
well that just about sums it up as always a good read many words of wisdom
what more can i say
The Philippines isn't really that far away, it can take 24hrs just to do a loop of the M25 on a Bank Holiday
Keith - Administrator
what a great thread to read Kuya Peter..thanks!
If someone had told me even six months before I went, that I would get on plane and go to the Philippines to meet a girl, I would have said "NO WAY", that sort of thing is just for saddos.Originally Posted by ginapeterb
Once (after chatting to Louella for a while) I had actually decided to go to the Philippines and had told Louella I was going to go there, it was like I was living in some sort of a dream world, when I was online chatting to her, I was never more certain about anything in my life, but during the in between times, I would say to myself, "why are you leading this girl on, you know your never going to go through with this". But when I went online again and saw her on the webcam, all my worries just disappeared, so I just seemed to let things drift and carried on living in my dreamworld.
When I woke up on the morning of my flight, I just lay in bed thinking to myself, are you really going to do this! Later that day I found myself in the departure lounge at Birmingham airport thinking to myself, you must be mad, stupid, crazy, ahhhggggggh!!! someone get me outa here.
Needless to say, something drove me on, I got on that plane and after a disastrous journey where everything went wrong, I eventually found myself ar the NAIA. When I walked out of arrivals, across that road and down the (wrong) ramp to the road below, I thought to myself, my god, what have I done.
Eventually, with the help of a policeman, I eventually found Louella and apart from getting bundled in to a taxi van in the confusion of it all and in so doing, got ripped of big time, after that things started to go right for me at last and all I can say about it all now is: I'M SO GLAD I GOT ON THAT PLANE!!!
Iain.
How I came to log on to an internet chat site....... Well, I'd been on my own for about 8 years after a 10 year marriage and another failed relationship (living in as they say in Phils) which lasted 16 years. At that time I would have described myself as a little bit lonely, but not unhappy. My life was very busy with a full time job in IT and at night and weekends, doing my one-man-band, 60's, 70's & 80's show, gigging in pubs, clubs etc.What made you log onto an internet chat site for Filipinas in the first place?
It just happened that a friend of mine threw a gig my way that he couldn't manage to fit in and it turned out to be a private party for a Fil/Brit couple who had married in the Philippines and had arranged the party to celebrate their nuptials with their friends here in the UK. The bride's mother had married a Brit and she came here as a child so she had lots of Filipino friends in the UK.
Towards the end of the night I got talking with a group of Filipina's and one of them asked if I was married, to which I replied nooooooooo, my frame of mind at that time being one of a paid up member of the confirmed batchelor club. She started saying that what I needed was a nice Filipina wife, which at that time I thought was a ludicrous idea.
Anyway she went on about it a bit and she mentioned various dating websites that she thought I should log onto. Eventually I finished the gig, packed up my gear, said my goodbyes and headed for the takeaway to pick up my jalfrezi.
I thought no more about that night for a few weeks until one Sunday night when I didn't have a gig and I went for a few pints in the afternoon and fell asleep on the sofa, waking up too late to get showered and go out.
I have always chatted online to people online to various people in various countries around the world (usually english speaking countries) and being bored, I went online and went to various online haunts that I'd had some fun before.
After a while, having found no one interesting to chat to and very still bored, for some reason that Fil/Brit party crossed my mind and the only site that I could remember that the Filipina mentioned on that night was Cherry Blossoms, so I googled it and signed up, even though I wasn't really looking for a wife or even a relationship at that time, just some interesting conversation.
It was a total shock to me at then 55 years old, that almost as soon as I'd signed up, I was being buzzed and invited to chat by lots of very young, very attractive Filipina's, some even as young as 17 years old.
Anyway, although flattered, I managed to contain myself admirably and as soon as they asked me the question that almost all of them seemed to ask, "are you seriously looking for a wife", I would say no not really, but I might think about it one day. In this way I managed to get rid of the really pushy ones very quickly, which probably means I was only left with the ones who were bored because they couldn't find a prospective husband to chat to.
After that night I found that although I still had no intention of finding myself a wife or even forming a romantic relationship with anyone, I still found the thought of logging on to Cherry Blossoms and chatting to Filipina's somewhat intriguing.
I even went through a period where I wouldn't accept chat invitations from anyone under 35 (still baby snatching for me really) because I thought that might lead to more interesting conversation, but I found that the ladies over 35 tended to have even less time to waste on anyone who wasn't interested in marriage.
After about 3 months or so I met Louella online and we got on like a house on fire from the word go. She was not at all heavy (are you seriously looking for a wife?) and she really made me laugh, which is why I came back time and time again to chat to her.
Well I suppose the rest of the story would seem just natural and predictable to those of you that have been there, done that and bought the tee-shirt, but after I had fallen for her hook, line and sinker (me, a card carrying member of the confirmed batchelors association) and I had told her that come hell or high water, I would be coming to Phils to meet her, I started to live a double life. One life online with Louella and another life where I seemed to be living in a parallel universe to the real one that I inhabited from day to day the rest of time.
The rest is history, Birmingham airport, the doubts, Schiphol airport, even more doubts, NAIA, lock me up I must be crazy, Louella.......... no more doubts.
Iain.
Thank's a lot. With regard to my earlier post, the trip to Phils etc, if you really knew me you would know that that whole episode of my life, getting on a plane and going to Phils to meet a girl I had only chatted to online etc is completely out of character for me as I have always been a rather cautious person. Even today I still can't believe I really went through with all that. But then I look at Louella and Mary Grace and I think to myself, wow, I really did do that! ........ and I'm so glad that I did.I like your story Iain(and I wouldnt say it if I didnt mean it),I looked at your family album,you both have happy eyes,the child as well,you all have sparkle,its like looking in a garden,you can tell if all is rosy,you all are,seems like your a what you see is what you get sort of guy,no pretensions,your lucky
Iain.
I understand 100% and think the same for me. I've always played it safe and this is the craziest thing I have ever done! But it is also pretty exciting to think I am doing something a lot of people would think I had lost it for
It's an adventure
You can say that again. But I'm afraid I wasn't able to look at it as an adventure at the time. I was too scared to think about it at all really. If I had thought about it too much I would have have chickened out. But I still went all the same!It's an adventure
It's an adventure
You know this upcoming holiday is hitting me in a similar way. I'm not backing out and I am really looking forward to going. But the expectations I have are mind boggling, in that I really do not know what to expectBut I'm loving the fact I am going with these emotions
That's how I viewed my trip when I went out there last year, which kind of screwed things up - giving the impression I was just going for a holiday. The lady in question was looking for a firm commitment asap. I found that to be the main moral of Peter's post - understanding what both parties are hoping for in the future as early as you can.It's an adventure
You know this upcoming holiday is hitting me in a similar way. I'm not backing out and I am really looking forward to going. But the expectations I have are mind boggling, in that I really do not know what to expect But I'm loving the fact I am going with these emotions
Oh, I only regard it as a holiday so much as there is no other word I can really use to describe this trip
People said to me when they saw my pics from Samal Island, "Wow, holiday of a lifetime!" But I now plan to go back often, maybe even settle there someday, who knows. And it's not just about the women. Even just spending two weeks there I found many things to like about the country.
Yeah, I hear similar things from other guys who have married FilipinasI might not do that, things might change
Unless I finance a bunch of businesses in Cebu and retire their a mogul
It'll be a very changed place in 33 years and possibly not for the better, although there is a good chance that will be true here too :(Yeah, I hear similar things from other guys who have married Filipinas
Unless I finance a bunch of businesses in Cebu and retire their a mogul
You need to see the place and people now so you know what's been lost from the culture in ten years or 15 years time.
Jim
You know what they say about foriegners starting businesses in the Philippines, the only way to make a small fortune in the Philippines is to start off with a very big fortune!Yeah, I hear similar things from other guys who have married Filipinas
Unless I finance a bunch of businesses in Cebu and retire their a mogul
I do not think a successful relationship depends on how long you have known each other, but rather a commitment to the relationship and to work through any difficulties.
it can be easier to walk away from problems, people will tell you to move on and forget them, advice given by many people on here, remember simm
those who are happily married now and have not faced any major problems yet, what would happen to their relationship if there was?, those who have had problems b4 or after they wed, if they got thru their problems then, maybe they can get thru any problems in the future.
but everyone and each situation is different, so who knows what your future holds
just go with the flow
Absolutely right there Joe
it can be easier to walk away from problems, people will tell you to move on and forget them, advice given by many people on here, remember simm
those who are happily married now and have not faced any major problems yet, what would happen to their relationship if there was?, those who have had problems b4 or after they wed, if they got thru their problems then, maybe they can get thru any problems in the future.
but everyone and each situation is different, so who knows what your future holds
just go with the flow
The actual starter of this thread told me to walk away, when I had problems...In the heat of the moment, I agreed with him, but in my heart of hearts I knew that wasn't an option... Just because they are 6000 miles + away, isn't an excuse to give up....a relationship is a relationship, wherever they are.
Iain's posts are interesting, just glad he threw caution to the wind & got on that plane...the proof now is in his happiness.
In my case, I thought this is a crazy idea, but I knew I was going to go through with it....I just got on 3 planes knowing where I was going. I thought if it dosen't work out, I'll head to Cebu, for the rest of my stay, with no other plans, other than that.
I do procrastinate about some things in life, but when there is something I really want to do, I just get on with it.
For people planning to go out there for the first time, do it, but do it for the right reasons....if you don't, you may regret it for the rest of your life.
Yes I know I missed out on a lot.Its changed massively in the 20 or so years since I first went,even peoples attitudes have changed,20 years ago you would never see a pinoy RastaEven though it was classed on the DEA files as the worlds second largest producer back then of Grass(baguio gold)nowadays its commonplace to see a younger guy sporting dreads
In 1997 I re-engineered a factory management system, ERP/MRP system for a large electronics company that was opening a new factory near Batangas, my customer was based in Cumbernauld in Scotland and I did all the work there, kept hoping that I would get on the implementation team as well but sadly they left the one man (me) development team in Scotland
So I missed out on seeing a lot of the changes already, although the guys did have to live in a guarded compound back in those days as it was a bit less safe
When I finally went over myself it was to hire programmers from one of those two posts grad guys, he stayed as a trainer and support tech for a year then decided after coming back to rainy grey Cumbernauld for four weeks that he had to start a business over there.
He was gone in just over a month and was selling programming services back to my customer within another month
I was asked to do the telephone interview of his first programmer, a lad who later visited the UK three or four times and who became a good friend to me long before I went over there myself.
That French post grad engineer has now been out there over ten years, he started with nothing and is now employing over a hundred Filipinos, done well for himself, so although it is hard to succeed in business in the Phils as a westerner it is possible.
I'm rambling a bit, but the above is part in answer to Iain's point as well.
Yeah a Pinoy rasta is a strange sight but seems to be very popular with the young folk in the Visayas.
I rather envy this lad he bums about surfing and kite boarding all day, sings and plays at night (mostly reggae) looks like he gets good tips from the tourists, relaxes with his mates drinking before and after his spot, good life
As you say 3% population growth will put a lot of pressure on the country, I really hope they manage it well.
You've had a colourful life TawiIt had a wild-west feel to it in the early days Jim,I first went there when Ermita was in full flow just before Mayor Lim stamped down hard and turned Del Pilar and its environs into a virtual ghost town
Pinoy Rastas?I met a good number,as you said good life for a kid,some of them go up to the cordilleras,sagada especially,buy cheap keys of grass and sell it to the puti on Boracay,Jah rastafari
Funny country,gets under the skin ringworm
I've not seen the dealing but I know it goes on, something to keep well away from when you are a puti foreigner.
Yeah "wild west" was kind of the way my friends described it back then
By the way Mayor Lim got back in again the other year and cracked down on Manila's Baywalk nightspot, this time he killed off all the businesses along the waterfront, it's now back to being a scary place where you would not walk at night.
It was getting a bit too touristy but it was a nice place to eat on a Sunday night and easy for us to take the family to as it was close to where we lived in P. Ocompo.
As you say though, it gets right under your skin
Jim
You've had a colourful life Tawi
when's the book or film coming out Tawi, and who do you want playing your leading roll
you must have been or seen some crazy situations on your travels,,
i think one day maybe i can tell, even better sell mine and the misses story to a sunday rag, one of those stories where the chances were a million to 1, but you beat the odds
Superb story, I can well believe it, I'm of the shy quiet persuasion generally, I've spent my life in your mates shoesI think everyones got a unique story to tell,as to who will play me?Someone suave,debonaire and handsome,everything I am not,Eddie Izzard maybe?
Back to the Topic of English guys marrying Pinay Ladies,I was with my mate in Wanchai around about 1994 or '95
Always wondered what TNT meant, Ana thought she was a TNT in Korea in the 90's even though she wasn't, for some reason I've never actually tried to understand the acronym till today - TNT : Tago-ng-Tago I think meaning super hidden or super secret the double entendre in English being quite appropriate too, a bomb waiting to explode
Jim
That's just cruel TawiTago-ng-Tagos
The lady that has helped Ana so much in Korea this time is a TNT Filipina, an older lady, she's been there for donkeys but she's still remained a great kind human being for all her years living in Seoul, my Ana is one that would have fallen for that TNT tease, she needs good people to protect her from the world but she is also the luckiest lassie I have ever met she will just make the sign of the cross and head off into the wilderness but it always seems to work out for her somehow
Yeah pretty much like Korea from everything Ana has told me
Almost all the pinay's in Korea have a husband or boyfriend back home and a man on the side in Korea.
Regards overstaying or being illegal, I really can understand them, the barriers to entry to a first world country are so high and the poverty in third world countries so great that what can you expect when they get a chance to be in the west.
The fact that they have to live in conditions that are often worse and more dangerous than what they left doesn't seem to matter to them :(
Jim
Ah sorry my primary disk caddy just packed in I had to do a permanent hard install into the case instead, looked like I wasn't getting my operating system back for a few minutes thereSounds the same as Hong Kong,at the time there was approx 120,000
I can imagine that it is probably very similar for all pinoy's living abroad, temptation versus their innate loyalty, that's a cultural area where things are surely going to keep on changing over the next few decades.
We have a lad in family whose mum is working abroad to put him through school, specifically for him to study as a Merchant seaman, he blew it and dropped out, got married recently and has no prospects at allhe has no concept of the life he has thrown away or the future he has now guaranteed for him and his wife.
His brother graduated recently not in the merchant navy but in a good trade thank god.
Lord if I had it all to do over again I would have been in Asia in the early 80's one of my mates tried really hard to convince me to do just that way back then.
But now is now and I am happy the way things have turned out in spite of the huge challenges that still face Ana and me
Jim
You've lost me here pal - why would other peoples attitudes have a negative effect on a visa application involving yourself ? Its a bit like saying that maniacs driving past the test centre might make the driving test examiner fail you.
Nice one Mod Pete
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.
a very good read indeed!
@ iain , had the same feelings and thoughts as u on my first depature day! from the moment i woke up to the moment i'm getting out of my bro's car to enter the airport! i smoked so many cigs that day, standing outside thinking to myself.... what am i doing!? i've not been on a plane for years let alone know my way round terminal! whats its going to be like connecting at hong kong?! (i made a mistake at HKG airport! i went to collect my bag there cus i thought i had to check it in for the flight to manila LOL d'oh!!)
The whole journey was a buzz and a dream come true, meeting my hun.... just amazing and i ll never forget it! the thought of seeing my hun just drove me all the way there! i did suffer from jet lag the first few days there, was like a horrid hangover >< !
i'm looking forward to my 4th visit in dec... so much to do and see out there, we both love the natural beauty and exploring! well she wasnt too keen on the batad trek!
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