slightly annoyed with my 'family'

[maria_and_matt]

Right on!!...where money is concerned there is sometimes a lack of understanding. As you, and most every one else on here will be aware that, most western couples put there money in the same ''pot'' no, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine also!! Like you rightly said, many Phil/UK marriages fail becoz of this. It is no good the husband turning a ''blind eye'' or ''having his head in the sand'' all will come out sooner or later, be it now or in 30 yrs time.

Resentment grows

hmm true to some people maybe, my husband told me last night that he sees that there is a need to help my mother back home, there was a time there that i told him not to send her some money, he only lasted a year, and he started helping again about 6 months ago. i am beginning to resent what he is doing as i feel we need to only send what is needed and not whats wanted.

[IainBusby]

"The more ya send the more they spend"

And the more they ask for and expect you to send.

[GaryFifer]

Send this book

How to speak and how to listen

[ca143]

i guess from the beggining u spoiled them,try ur very best to say NO especially for those expensive stuff.me back home i have one and only sister when i arrive her i feel she start demand to ask me the latest device what i did is send her money to start cooking bbq at weekend so she gets what she like on her profit,,,try them to feel how hard to find money....

[gWaPito]

You have the support of your husband, for that you must be grateful. You are aware they have ''crossed the line'' so, although this saddens you, you have realised enough is enough.

I know of a Filipina and an English guy near to were I live. They have been married for 20yrs with two children. They both work full time, the husband pays all the bills etc and the wife sends her money back to Phil each week £1600 a month.

This was they believed for her sick parents. They visited a while back because her Dad was on his death bed. This was the first time they gone to Phil in 8yrs (always broke!).

What they found shocked the husband. Her brothers never worked but, all had nice clothes and no end of ciggys and rum. They were having a ''ball'' at there expense.

The wife didn't want to stop the payments, the husband did, or at least reduce them.
She wouldn't compromise...the marriage failed

[Jonnywina]

My god..I am so Glad my Family is not like that. They'd be happy if I remember sending them things for sure but they would send me text messages asking for something. You should learn how to say no. If you can't afford what they've been asking for you. Tell them it is not busy working our butt off here. We don't just pick up money on the road.

Say no..and be honest and tell them how you feel about them asking stuff. It's okay to give once in a while but there has to be a limit. They should know it. Just an opinion.

[maria_and_matt]

My god..I am so Glad my Family is not like that. They'd be happy if I remember sending them things for sure but they would send me text messages asking for something. You should learn how to say no. If you can't afford what they've been asking for you. Tell them it is not busy working our butt off here. We don't just pick up money on the road.

Say no..and be honest and tell them how you feel about them asking stuff. It's okay to give once in a while but there has to be a limit. They should know it. Just an opinion.

its hubbys fault, he is the one who started to send a box home for xmas. anyway the box is being picked up this sunday, so thats that till the next one.

[Jonnywina]

Please say no this time..they have to learn the value of money and how hard it is to work to earn it. Its not something we just pick up somewhere. We work for it. I'd always tell my family back at home that what is sent there they should use it wisely and only get things that they really need and save the rest. It should always be like that. You can't spoil them that much. I am not a bank and so is my husband

[IainBusby]

Please say no this time..they have to learn the value of money and how hard it is to work to earn it. Its not something we just pick up somewhere. We work for it. I'd always tell my family back at home that what is sent there they should use it wisely and only get things that they really need and save the rest. It should always be like that. You can't spoil them that much. I am not a bank and so is my husband

Well Said.