Hey Guy's,
I think we have all noticed recently a number of members getting themselves banned from this forum at various times and for basically the same reason. And the reason is simple - being abusive!
The fact is that this forum deals with very human emotions and people who are either living with the person they have found from the other side of the world, or people going through the struggle that comes with having a relationship over such a long distance. Both situations cause varying degrees of problems! Obviously, for those of us (including myself) who are trying to have a relationship over the telephone, email and instant messenger and the problems coming with it. There are also the people who have been successful at getting their visas and are now living together and married. Giving rise to cultural problems and the heartache felt from leaving a family behind and living on the other side of the planet.
Basically, every single one of us has a story to tell and something that bothers us all!
And there are times when something is written over the forum which will come across as insensitive, intrusive or just plain rude. But it might often be the case that this was not the intention, but words that are written can fail to carry with them the emotions often meant to be portrayed within the writing. Offence is too often the case when you are telling strangers over the internet some of the things you dare not mention to even your closest of relatives, then opening yourself up for the responses by the various people interested to comment, only to find someone making light of what might seem the most important part of your life right now.
I can recall 2 times when I have taken personal offence to things said by members of this forum! After reading those same comments a few times, they seem to lighten and I realize the writer was not meaning to be critical of me or my situation, but trying to give advice to me. Even though I might not like the advice they seemed to give me.
There is also the obvious banter on this site. Banter which can often be sexual in nature (typical of British humour), sometimes a little insensitive at other times. However, it is always meant as a way to diffuse the emotions and tensions that exist within any social grouping. And sadly, is often mistaken for rudeness and/or argumentative. And banter can easily deteriorate into a nasty slanging match leaving the moderators little choice but the banning of those arguing. Also, remember that Keith and the moderators are as the same as you - human and emotional. Imagine coming to this forum as a moderator after a stressful day at work, only to find a poster politely telling you tooff? Do you react with another couple of posts trying to win the argument or simply forget about it and ban the person who is aggravating others?
And why argue? Why fight?
Does giving somebody over the internet a literal beating make you happier with your day? Does it improve the chances of getting your visa? The obvious answer is no, it does not; It is a waste of time, energy and emotion to continue along the lines of a conversation like this!
Basically, my advice to everyone on this forum is to chill out! If somebody says something to you that offends you, forget about it. If somebody is out and out trying to upset people, the mods will get rid of them. No need to react to a person who has little to do than insult people with the hope they will respond in kind. This forum is for advice and support for those of us trying to gain a better understanding of UK and Filipino laws and customs. A place to get help for how to apply for a visa, support from those who have already taken those steps. And a place to make light of life and enjoy some banter with others like ourselves.
Take it easy people
Originally Posted by Northerner
..
babykins
...And to add to that... Since everybody knows this is a public forum so anything we post here is viewable by anyone in the universe!...lol... so if we post a thread on something we thought is very sensitive but because we need advice or get different opinions from others then we should be ready for whatever responses we will receive from the readers, may it be advantageous or not on our part. Likewise, if we think it is confidential then.... hmmm.... better not post it anymore.... 
........
