Going to get married.. what next?

[mark99]

Hay there all.

My first time posting here and nice to see so many like-minded people in the same place .

Anyway I just want to pick your experienced brains so I can be better prepared for what is ahead of me. Essentially, after a lot of hunting, I finally met a wonderful Filipino girl through a dating site who shares similar experiences, interests and is genuine.

Since then we have chatted, called and video called every single day for the past few months. In December I am going on Holiday to the Philippines and am looking forward to spending a lot of time with her. If we both have the same feelings at the end of that time then I am considering asking her to marry me.

Now I own my own home (no rent or mortgage to worry about), 29 years old (she is 24), financially secure, no history of bad credit or debt, self-employed with a reasonable income and I'm a nice bloke too . So, assuming I ask this person to marry me, what is the process after that? For example, where is – with respect to proving our legal unity to the authorities - the best place to get married and what is the process after that for her to get a visa and back to the UK with me (I assume we go to the UK Embassy to get things rolling). I recognise and am prepared for it being a long process.

Any advice you folks can offer or tips would be most welcome.

I already read this on the UKVisa’s site:

How do I qualify to join my husband, wife or civil partner in the UK?
You must show that:

1. you are legally married to each other or are in a civil partnership recognised in the UK
2. your husband, wife or civil partner is present and settled in the UK (see the next section)
3. you both intend to live together permanently as husband and wife or as civil partners
4. you have met each other before
5. you can support yourselves and any dependants without any help from public funds
6. you have suitable accommodation, which is owned or lived in only by you and your household, and where you and your dependants can live without any help from public funds
7. your husband, wife or civil partner is not under 21, and
8. you are not under 21.

Most of those seem quite straight forward, but what the information does not say is precisely what “evidence” I need to have in order to “show” or prove each point. No.1 is easy enough I guess, no.2 should also be obvious from my passport , no.3 - how do we actually “show” that lol?, no.4 - well I guess if we visit the embassy together in Phili then it’s a no brainer right?, no.5 – do they want to see bank and investment statements from me, no.6 – got that but again how do I “show” it (copy of agreement o buy my flat or..)? and 7/8 are obviously not problems.

Thanks to anybody who takes the time to offer their experience or advice.

[belfast_dude]

the honeymoon is after the wedding....lol...only joking...i think you wud easily pass all the requirements...but i am not an expert...maybe one of the old timers on this site will have good advice...i am still a spring chicken...lol

[vbkelly]

Hay there all.

My first time posting here and nice to see so many like-minded people in the same place .

Anyway I just want to pick your experienced brains so I can be better prepared for what is ahead of me. Essentially, after a lot of hunting, I finally met a wonderful Filipino girl through a dating site who shares similar experiences, interests and is genuine.

Since then we have chatted, called and video called every single day for the past few months. In December I am going on Holiday to the Philippines and am looking forward to spending a lot of time with her. If we both have the same feelings at the end of that time then I am considering asking her to marry me.

Now I own my own home (no rent or mortgage to worry about), 29 years old (she is 24), financially secure, no history of bad credit or debt, self-employed with a reasonable income and I'm a nice bloke too . So, assuming I ask this person to marry me, what is the process after that? For example, where is – with respect to proving our legal unity to the authorities - the best place to get married and what is the process after that for her to get a visa and back to the UK with me (I assume we go to the UK Embassy to get things rolling). I recognise and am prepared for it being a long process.

Any advice you folks can offer or tips would be most welcome.

I already read this on the UKVisa’s site:



Most of those seem quite straight forward, but what the information does not say is precisely what “evidence” I need to have in order to “show” or prove each point. No.1 is easy enough I guess, no.2 should also be obvious from my passport , no.3 - how do we actually “show” that lol?, no.4 - well I guess if we visit the embassy together in Phili then it’s a no brainer right?, no.5 – do they want to see bank and investment statements from me, no.6 – got that but again how do I “show” it (copy of agreement o buy my flat or..)? and 7/8 are obviously not problems.

Thanks to anybody who takes the time to offer their experience or advice.

what you can do now is gather all documents like 6months of bank statements, mortgage statement for your house if you have one or rental agreements, house bills e.g.landline phone, water, gas and electric bills, yearly income tax, letter from your employer, evidence of your relationship, and etc.

[somebody]

Welcome mark well first of all meet and if you can afford a couple of times for a decent length of time.

The evidence is basically that your a real loving couple not just there to sneak your young lady friend into the country. Your unlikely to pop in to the embassy to do this photos showing you both with family and friends also are needed in most cases in situations young lovers find themsleves in.

As well as worrying about the visa process and the marriage process.

Have a think about these questions.

Are you prepared to be form filling, saving paperworks for 3-5 years? Much of it once she is in the UK.

The Wife recently got her British Passport the amount of goverment departments in the UK and Phill we have dealt with is amazing. For us it all started early 2004, its cost an absloute fortune in time and money.

Simple things like getting your potential Wifes National insurance number do you remeber your poping though the letter box when 15-16? Well tad more to it when you move over later in life with interviews and the like.
What if your Wife comes here will she do? Work, study, stay at home? Hows her English does she have any skills or qualfications?

Does she have a good friend of family member who can help her? One of my Wifes Aunt helped her when traveling to manila and sorting other paperworks.

Also read up about marrying in phill or the UK pro's and con's to both depending on your situation.

My advice if no major reason to marry in UK, marry there your family if British citzens can fly out there but unlikely that your Wifes family will find it possible. Also it gives faith to the family your serious.

Basically what im saying is start reading up on this site and Petes site http://www.british-filipino.com/

The next is find out your Lady friends real situation. She is young but check has she been married before? Has she any Children? Does she have siblings or others who rely on her? Does she intend to support family?

Get it all out in the open before you start the process.

Part of the evidence you need to collect (what you need to show will vary from time to time but as always better to have much than to little) is your contact so keep phone bills and emails, letters, parcel notes anything you can think of.

As I have mentioned before on here go out and buy a metal case lockable case like you might have for your bills and documents. If God forbid you need to leave the house in a hurry get those out of the house asap.

Also back up and keep safe all IM archive and email histories your now keeping.

Make a list early on of all the paperwork you need to sort, also its worth checking your passport how longs it got left? of course you need six months min to get in the UK but you will want a record of all stamps (remeber to copy visa stamps you collect for phill just in case and keep airline ticket stubs)
My advice looking back is get your own passport sorted now if only a few years to go your going to need for id, for the process of ilr and of course traveling.

Another thing find out the nearest asian food shop, westen union in emgencies even though costly easy and quick for you to send emgency money, sort out ways to remit money easily (cost of visa, money for holiday possibly) PNB is the best for most on here a quick search will show you.

Basically just some random thoughts and comments feel free to ask myself and others question there are no daft questions.

Wheres your Lady friend in Phill? where are you?

I suggest in the next few days you read as much of this site and petes as you can and just join in we will support you though the process.

[pumpkins]

i agree with somebody..i think i have no more to say
just keep on loving to each other

goodluck mark

[mark99]

Thanks for the helpful replies, especially you 'somebody' .

I'll get reading that site and pop back here with any questions.

[mark99]

I've been reading through Pete's site, just a few small questions from what he says and on the settlement application form.

Firstly, Pete mentions my future wife needing to pay a £500 (Php 47,500.00) visa fee, though it's not actually explained what you are supposed to ask for or what this actually is?

Then in the settlement application form there are a few Q's I have questions of my own about:

5.8 Is this an arranged marriage/civil partnership? (yes or no)

Now in the UK "arranged" marriages are somewhat frowned upon but ours wouldn't exactly be "arranged". However on the other hand, technically speaking, all marriages are "arranged" once you've popped the question . So a technicality, but how should she answer if this is the result of a normal 'man asks woman to marry him - woman says yes' situation?

5.11 Have you lived with your sponsor in a relationship like a marriage or civil partnership at any time (including since a wedding or civil partnership ceremony)?

Does staying in the same hotel for X amount of time together count or is this more for "living together in a shared home" only situations?

7.22 Have you ever been concerned in the commission, preparation or organisation of genocide or crimes, including crimes against humanity and war crimes, committed in the course of armed conflict?

Apparently her pork and rice dish has been known to kill, is this a problem hahaha ? Ok just joking on 7.22 .

[bornatbirth]

5.8 you put no,it means has she be forced to marry you or you forced to marry her ie arranged marriage.

5.11 just put have often you have been together as bf and gf ie living together in a relationship

7.22 as for her killer food,i suggest you just eat it to keep her happy

[aromulus]

I am afraid you are looking at it in a negative kind of way.
You are searching and dwelling on things which are not designed to worry you unduly.

The whole process is pretty easy and straightforward, as many members can vouch, it looks daunting and nearly impossible at the beginning and "Somebody" has been giving you the right advice on expecting the worse.
As long as the list of documents is correct, there should be no worry in obtaining visas, as lately the ECO has been giving them away like confetti, at the moment there has been a record 4 days wait for one member.

Ok.... You want to go over there, and if you two click, you may feel compelled to pop the question....

I would strongly advise you to marry the girl in the Philippines.
It is very important for them to be with their family for such a big occasion.
Also you may have to consider the costs involved...
It is far cheaper in Philly than over here, one hell of a lot cheaper, even including flight and hotel stay.

I am starting to rabbit on.....

Welcome aboard by the way....

[aromulus]

7.22 as for her killer food,i suggest you just eat it to keep her happy

Just keep the "Imodium" handy.....

[Sophie]

Just keep the "Imodium" handy.....

Lol, i agree It pays to be always ready

[IainBusby]

The next is find out your Lady friends real situation. She is young but check has she been married before.

This is a must. Many Filipinas will, at this stage of a relationship, tend to tell little white lies about this sort of thing because they don't want to put you off and until you actually arrive in Phils they won't really believe that your really going to come there, so they think it doesn't matter too much.

Has she any Children? Does she have siblings or others who rely on her? Does she intend to support family?

This is something that you also need to sort out because most Filipinos tend to think that the streets are paved with gold in the UK and were all extremely rich, so if their daughter marries a Brit the expectations of the family can be far higher that what you may be prepared to give. This can lead to many disagreements between husband and wife.

On top of that many Filipinas, newley arrived in the UK don't understand how expensive things are in the UK and they assume that sending money to the family won't be a problem because they will work themselves and send all of the money they earn to the Philippines whilst the husband supports their needs.

Iain.

[jaishann]

[QUOTE=belfast_dude;174532]the honeymoon is after the wedding....lol...only joking..

not for me.. lol...only joking too

[mark99]

Hi there all, hope everybody is fine.

Couple of quick questions, I keep seeing people saying "ILR", can somebody just mention what it is short for as I have totally forgotten .

Other questions, what is the process when actually putting an application in to get married in the Philippines? I heard there was a 10 day waiting period? Also do I have to be present with my wife2b when the application is entered and, once you have been approved, is there a time limit on when you can get married or is it anytime you choose? For example I'd like 2 months to prepare .

[darren-b]

Hi there all, hope everybody is fine.

Couple of quick questions, I keep seeing people saying "ILR", can somebody just mention what it is short for as I have totally forgotten .

ILR is indefinite leave to remain, and you usually apply for it after two years or so of being in the UK. Though you will never have to apply for ILR as it will have been replaced by something else when you get to that point.

[estherboaz]

Other questions, what is the process when actually putting an application in to get married in the Philippines? I heard there was a 10 day waiting period? Also do I have to be present with my wife2b when the application is entered and, once you have been approved, is there a time limit on when you can get married or is it anytime you choose? For example I'd like 2 months to prepare .

Under Philippine Law, a Marriage License is required for either a Civil or Church wedding which is to be held in the Philippines. The Application Form for a marriage license must be secured at the Local Civil Registrar from the city, town or municipality where either the bride or the groom resides. The personal appearance of those getting married is required in applying for a marriage license.

Each of the contracting parties shall file separately a sworn application for each license with the proper local civil registrar. Philippine law prescribes a ten-day waiting period from the filing of the Application to the issuance of the marriage license. The license is valid for 120 days from date of issuance and may be used anywhere in the Philippines.

At the time the contracting parties appear to file their application for a Marriage License to the local civil registrar, he or she must also submit the following supporting documents:

Birth Certificate: Certified True Copy required of each the contracting parties with the respective registry number. This document is issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO).
Parents' Consent (for 18-21 years old) or Parent's Advice (for 21-25 years old): Under Philippine law, the legal age for marriage is 18. If the contracting parties are between the ages of 18 and 21, they must present written consent to the marriage from their father, mother or legal guardian. While any contracting party between the age of 22 and 25 must present written parental advice, i.e., a written indication that the parents are aware of the couple's intent to marry.

Certificate of Attendance in a pre-marital counseling and family planning seminar conducted by the Division of Maternal and Child Health at the Municipal/City Hall in the same municipality or city where the contracting parties applied for the marriage license.

[Arthur Little]

A belated Welcome to the forum, Mark ... plenty of good, sound advice here, mate!

[mark99]

Can you tell me more about these pre-marital counseling and family planning seminar, are they conducted often or is there a waiting period? How can I book one?

[mark99]

Quick question, I have everything that estherboaz mentioned above in regards to getting a Marriage License for either a Civil or Church wedding which is to be held in the Philippines. However I then just read this on the British Filipino website:

On any given weekday, you need to telephone your local [UK] registry of births, marriages and deaths, and make an appointment to go in and inform the Superintendant registrar or their appointed deputy, that you wish to file notice of your intended marriage under the ("Marriage to Foreigners act 1906) This is so that You may obtain what is now known in the UK as a "Certificate of No Impediment to Marriage".

I did not see that mentioned before and am about to visit Phili, so not much time left. Do I need the 'Certificate of No Impediment to Marriage' to apply for the Marriage License in Phili or does that only need to be presented on the day itself?

[Sim11UK]

Quick question, I have everything that estherboaz mentioned above in regards to getting a Marriage License for either a Civil or Church wedding which is to be held in the Philippines. However I then just read this on the British Filipino website:


I did not see that mentioned before and am about to visit Phili, so not much time left. Do I need the 'Certificate of No Impediment to Marriage' to apply for the Marriage License in Phili or does that only need to be presented on the day itself?

Yes Mark you will need a 'Certificate of no Impediment'. It will take at least 3 weeks, to acquire....Without it, you will not be able to marry.

You haven't met though, from reading this thread....Aren't you jumping the gun a bit?

[Sim11UK]

Why don't you just go & visit this time. You'll get too stressed trying to do everything at once.

Take your time, get to know each other properly, by spending time in each others company...The rest will follow.

[triple5]

Just echoing what Sim says. Try not to think too far ahead, and just go for a visit and enjoy your time together. You really need to meet the girl in person before even thinking about marriage. If it's meant to be everything will fall into place thereafter.

[mark99]

Oh I will, don't worry, I'm just a Mr Organised type and thinking far ahead is what I do best lol.