What happens if you say NO?

[Pepe n Pilar]

I was just reading over a thread about sending money to the Philippines for the wife's family - http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=18606

and was wondering if anybody had ever said NO to this? Do most/all filipinas expect the husband to provide for the whole famlily back home? And if the husband says he's not prepared to offer that kind of support what are the consequences? Will he lose her respect/loyalty/love???

In my opinion sending money to the family back home is not the wife's obligation neither the husband. If the wife sends gifts, presents or money may it be on regular basis or occasionally then that should be coming from her heart and not feel obliged. This should be talked about between the couple and should have agreed when to send and how much will be sent. If one is not agreeable to that then they should talk about it so as there would be no conflict.

Luckily, my family doesn't ask or expect from me and my husband knows that. If i send something to them that is coming from my heart and i am happy doing that. They too, are very thankful and even sends a thank you card or sometimes call me and my husband. My husband never say "no" because i never ask him to send. If i forget then he reminds me if we are going to send something.

Alhough it is a filipino culture that we filipinos are family oriented and we help families back home it is not the same on all families. Some of us here has family members who has their own earnings either from employment or businesses and/or are self sufficient and they don't rely from anyonelse's support simply because they want it that way.