Age Difference... When Is Too Much Just Too Much..??

[Northerner]

Re read post number 76 concerning the context in which the discussions on this thread are taking place.

Your association with the weight of an individuals opinion and the ability to pass legislation is somewhat obscure to say the least.

If there are enough individuals with equal opinions concerning a particular issue. Then all have equal weight at the ballot box when they try to elect representatives with similar opinions, however objectionable they may be.

They may, or may not be outnumbered by people with differing opinions, but both have equal weight in our society.

AJ

If by equal weight you mean you have as much right to speak your opinions. Absolutely!

But that is not my argument. I say that the opinion that personal freedom and expression far outweighs the opinion that 20 years of an age gap is 'over the line'!

[Sophie]

Korek I always wondered what attracted nubile Anna Nicole Smith to BILLIONAIRE Howard Marshall

"kerching"

[Pepe n Pilar]

All this seems to indicate that age-gap relationships have very different effects on men and women.

Read on....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#ixzz0SiQBhASB

[Tawi2]

"kerching"

You think it might be for money Soph

[Ayjay]

Good luck with that one, when you hear the fatal cry "But I love him Daddy"

Hi Guys..

Indeed, now the threat of the convent is no more, ones options become limited..

AJ

[Tawi2]

Interesting article P&P,particularly the part about age chasm relationships not lasting,thats more of a western concept as most young pinays in a foreign country with their older partner would be more reliant on the Hubby?At the end of the day we all have our own social and moral codes,some view a 20-30-40 year age gap as acceptable,some dont,if its mutually beneficial to both partners let them get on with it

[Sophie]

All this seems to indicate that age-gap relationships have very different effects on men and women.

Read on....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#ixzz0SiQBhASB

just read the link sis, very interesting article

[Pepe n Pilar]

Korek I always wondered what attracted nubile Anna Nicole Smith to BILLIONAIRE Howard Marshall I mean she had a 60+ year age gap twixt her and the BILLIONAIRE so what could a young lady with her upbringing have in common with an octagenarian BILLIONAIRE

60+ year age gap?. hmmm. what seems to be the reason why the attraction???... why did you capitalised the word billionaire??... if it is not relevant???.. sorry so many questions here...

[JimOttley]

As we both know jim,some pinoy fathers(note,I said some)reactions would indeed be "Kerching" its more socially acceptable over there,thats just how it is,and part of that root-cause is poverty,anyone can dress it up in fancy-clothes but poverty causes people to do things out of character,someone once asked me "Do you think its every young pinay girls dream to marry a middle-aged westerner"?It was a pinay who asked the question,it was rhetorical

Ageed Tawi, but I was talking about me - right now!!! and part of that would be driven by difficult financial circumstances right now!!!

Your question reminded me a little of the circumstances of the conversation between "Bob" and her father in Blackadder III

Anyway my comment was tongue in cheek but I have had serious conversations with my Scottish daughter (who has not yet met her new wee sister) where she has seriously commented about how she wants to be successful to be able to help her mum and to help me her dad as well as we get older

I made it quite clear to her that the parenting thing was a one way transaction and that I uphold the western view that my kids owe me nothing. I expect them to make their way in life and my payment is seeing their success and happiness nothing more, I am not looking to be a burden to my children when I get old.

Interestingly my daughter commented recently about her mum who lives on her own in Orkney and made it clear to me that she worried more about her mum right now, especially for the future, she was less concerned about me, even though I am living on my own too, this was because I have Ana, James and Janna.

So Dad was ok because he had someone in his life even though that someone was still far away.

I love my daughter dearly and I am incredibly proud of her she recently gained her Masters degree and has landed a very good job which she started 3 weeks ago. I was never married to her mum but we are still friends 25 years later.

My wee girl has had to confront the questions of large age gaps raised in this thread, in the case of Ana and me a gap of 14 years, and she has coped with this admirably in my opinion!

She has met Ana by the way.


Jim

[bornatbirth]

Korek I always wondered what attracted nubile Anna Nicole Smith to BILLIONAIRE Howard Marshall I mean she had a 60+ year age gap twixt her and the BILLIONAIRE so what could a young lady with her upbringing have in common with an octagenarian BILLIONAIRE

that was true love,he went to bed everynight with a big smile on his face

so it goes to show age gaps can work!

[GaryFifer]

Hi Guys..

Indeed, now the threat of the convent is no more, ones options become limited..

AJ

the conventI thought you said no sense of humour . But they would run to Gretna green in Scotland where you may be married at 16.

[Northerner]

that was true love,he went to bed everynight with a big smile on his face

so it goes to show age gaps can work!

The man died happy! And left his kids all bitter and angry

[Sophie]

You think it might be for money Soph

Given their 60 year age gap, that broke the record of all age gap relationships, lol
And in this particular case, i don't believe nicole was in it for love.....unless of course, if the guy's not the billionare that he was.....

[Ayjay]

Interesting article P&P,particularly the part about age chasm relationships not lasting,thats more of a western concept as most young pinays in a foreign country with their older partner would be more reliant on the Hubby?At the end of the day we all have our own social and moral codes,some view a 20-30-40 year age gap as acceptable,some dont,if its mutually beneficial to both partners let them get on with it

Hi Tawi,

You touch upon an interesting transitional concept that pervades most of these age chasm and inter generational marriages. And that is the possibility of the relationship progressing from the initial desperation phase, into a longer term dependency phase, both of which are devoid of genuine romantic notions.

AJ

[Tawi2]

that was true love,he went to bed everynight with a big smile on his face

so it goes to show age gaps can work!

Thats correct actually BAB,she was always smiling so it did indeed work,and he certainly smiled,probably died smiling actually cradled in her arms with his head resting softly,cushioned on one of her fun-bags
Congratulations on your daughters masters degree Jim,lifes just a game mate,never worry too much about cash,easy come easy go and you cant take it with you as Howard Marshall found out

[JimOttley]

Hi Tawi,

You touch upon an interesting transitional concept that pervades most of these age chasm and inter generational marriages. And that is the possibility of the relationship progressing from the initial desperation phase, into a longer term dependency phase, both of which are devoid of genuine romantic notions.

AJ

How many people get to go through life without experiencing at some point desperation and or dependency in their relationships ?

When your wife has just given birth she is going to be pretty dependant on you possibly for the next 5 or 6 years at least, dependency is a fundamental part of the whole reason we get involved with each other in the first place!!!

When you have just lost your job your partner is going to feel pretty desperate as are you.

Finding a partner is a specific answer to a particular type of desperation and it's not confined to long distance inter cultural relationships.

None of the above excludes love or romance.

Love, desperation, romance, dependency are part of every relationship!

I'm not saying that cynical relationships do not exist just that it is not fair to assume that the majority of relationships with generational gaps are cynical.


Jim

[JimOttley]

I think age is important, but what really counts is how awful it looks when you see an 60 year old man with a girl, who would be old enough to be his grand daughter, thats when it makes it all a bit scary. but it all depends for example a 17 year old with a 40 year old man is really bad, but a 40 year old with a 63 year old man is ok.....Its all to do with experience, and no one can say that a girl of say 18 or 19 or 20, would really want to have ahusband older than her father.... it looks really bad

A 40 year old Filipina will often still look like a 27 year old

When I first met my partner and before we actually got involved with each other I thought she was 20 it was only when I had listened to her life story that I realised she was 31

Sorry Mike but this just sounds like squeamishness Mick Jagger doesn't look that bad and he was never exactly "pogi" to start with

And look at Keith Richards being old doesn't mean a cloth cap and a pipe anymore


Jim

[GaryFifer]

Inter generational, inital desperation, long term dependency. How utterly scientific of you. It's love Jim, but not as you know it.

[Queenbee]

Personally, i feel no one is in the position to question or judge people about their relationship preferences in particular about the age thing......
To each his own and whatever works for others, so be it.....we are all entitled to our own individual choices.....

very well said ms sohphie dear,i agree!im 27 and the love of my life is 29,thats just perfect for me..In ma case,if im 27 and IF im with a 50 year old guy,i think it doesnt work for me..My father is 53....just doesnt work..and THATS just MA OPINION...But to some women they may get attracted to older men like 20 plus years...Thats their own choice and they may be happy about it or not,,Ill JUST MIND MY OwN BUSINESS..

[Sophie]

very well said ms sohphie dear,i agree!im 27 and the love of my life is 29,thats just perfect for me..In ma case,if im 27 and IF im with a 50 year old guy,i think it doesnt work for me..My father is 53....just doesnt work..and THATS just MA OPINION...But to some women they may get attracted to older men like 20 plus years...Thats their own choice and they may be happy about it or not,,Ill JUST MIND MY OwN BUSINESS..

[Ayjay]

very well said ms sohphie dear,i agree!im 27 and the love of my life is 29,thats just perfect for me..In ma case,if im 27 and IF im with a 50 year old guy,i think it doesnt work for me..My father is 53....just doesnt work..and THATS just MA OPINION...But to some women they may get attracted to older men like 20 plus years...Thats their own choice and they may be happy about it or not,,Ill JUST MIND MY OwN BUSINESS..

Indeed, and I would venture that this represents the point of view of the majority of Filipinas. I would doubt that any young woman would feel comfortable when out on a shopping trip with a husband 25+ years her senior, either at an ASDA Superstore in the UK, or at SM Megamall on Edsa.

AJ

[jaishann]

I noticed on the "Introduce Yourself" thread yet another young 20 year old female student hooking up with a 47 year old boyfriend... 27 year age gap...

In my opinion this is out of line, and the guy should get a grip and look for someone in his own age bracket.. indeed in this case his own generation..

When is too much just too much....?? Surely this is..??

AJ

age is just a number what matters is if you are happy together. age difference is something to onsider but as a man would you rather say wow to 20 than to a 60 year old woman? when you say out of line in this case is it because of the age difference or because he is 47 and she is 20? my friend is 52 husband is 82 is this out of line? when is it acceptable in your eyes? when two are both old ?

[KeithD]

This forum appears to be based upon Western Christian values,.....

You certainly don't know this forum then!

[Ayjay]

age is just a number what matters is if you are happy together. age difference is something to onsider but as a man would you rather say wow to 20 than to a 60 year old woman? when you say out of line in this case is it because of the age difference or because he is 47 and she is 20? my friend is 52 husband is 82 is this out of line? when is it acceptable in your eyes? when two are both old ?

Inter generational marriages are generally suspect in terms of motivation, and are usually founded upon desperation, dependence, manipulation etc.. See previous posts..

AJ

[gWaPito]

Hi Tawi,

You touch upon an interesting transitional concept that pervades most of these age chasm and inter generational marriages. And that is the possibility of the relationship progressing from the initial desperation phase, into a longer term dependency phase, both of which are devoid of genuine romantic notions.

AJ

You sound a right bundle of fun, I must say!

the states have already been quoted to you by our leader. Doesn't that tell you what works and what doesn't.
The age gap with my wife is the same as Dom's and I also love her and I know she loves me. I doubt I will get the same response you gave Dom but, then I don't care because, when you start caring what others thing about you and and your beautiful pinay wife, you have lost

[KeithD]

No i am sorry i think you are wrong , when a old man of 50+ wants a girl who looks like a 15 year old ( but could be 23, as you say) as his girlfriend, it screams out as a pedophile to me, and thats why they go to asia, because they can get away with it there, money pays for everything

50 Is not old, when the average says you are only 2/3rds through life!

And as far as I know a 53/23 realtionship is not illegal so does not make you a pedophile, nor is a 75/13 in the Philippines illegal so does not make you a pedeophile. You seem to be getting confused over the definition, it is officially defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children, and not two consenting pubic people who are of legal age.

[Ayjay]

You sound a right bundle of fun, I must say!

the states have already been quoted to you by our leader. Doesn't that tell you what works and what doesn't.
The age gap with my wife is the same as Dom's and I also love her and I know she loves me. I doubt I will get the same response you gave Dom but, then I don't care because, when you start caring what others thing about you and and your beautiful pinay wife, you have lost

I am sorry, but I cannot follow this..

AJ

[SteveL]

I'm 40 and my fiance is 23. If anyone has a problem with our 17 year age diiference, they can write to:
The Chairman
The I dont give a Damn Society
22 It's upto us to fall in love street
In the town of I just think your jelousshire

Seriously, if you live your life worried about what people think, your not living yor life, your living theirs.

[KeithD]

I am sorry, but I cannot follow this..

AJ

I'll give you some string to keep hold off

[aromulus]

if you live your life worried about what people think, your not living yor life, your living theirs.

Blimey....

This well deserves some rep.

I like it, Can I quote you, mate...???