The Clancy twins stared out across the ocean and Eamonn said:
'Look at all that water.'
'Yes,' said Pat. 'And that's only the top!'
*********************
'Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder.
'It's too late,' replied Murphy.
'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one.
'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
*********************
'I'll have fish and chips twice,' said Murphy.
'Very well,' said the shopkeeper. 'The fish won't be long.'
'Then they'd better be fat,' said Murphy.
*********************
Murphy had studied the facts carefully and had come up with the following conclusions.
The odds against being on a plane which had a bomb on board were 10,000 to 1.
However, the odds against being on a plane which had two bombs on board were 10,000,000 to 1.
'That settles it,' he said. 'From now on, every time I fly I'm taking a bomb with me!'
*********************
The Maguire twins had never known the likes before. Only two hours fishing and already the boat was full to overflowing with mackerel.
'Begod, we've struck a rare spot here,' said Mick. 'We must somehow try to remember this exact location for future reference.'
'Why don't we put an 'x' on the back of the boat so we'll know it exactly?' ventured Pat.
'No good,' said his brother. 'We may not get the same boat next time!'
