Sad news about Jennifer and Michael

[lizaphil]

You make even bigger sacrifice Liza as you son is waiting. Will you see him soon? Wish you luck too

thanks gary2jessica
yea i know since i come here
never been seen my son yet and that is about 2years and 2months
but i see him on webcome on ym ,call him nearly everyday,and he is only 6years old
i mis him so much

[GaryFifer]

thanks gary2jessica
yea i know since i come here
never been seen my son yet and that is about 2years and 2months
but i see him on webcome on ym ,call him nearly everyday,and he is only 6years old
i mis him so much

I miss my baby too. I have not seen him in real yet. He is big boy but I know I will never give up hope see him. Do you record your talk on video? I always record him on video and watch him. Makes me smile always.

[Queenbee]

thanks gary2jessica
yea i know since i come here
never been seen my son yet and that is about 2years and 2months
but i see him on webcome on ym ,call him nearly everyday,and he is only 6years old
i mis him so much

oh god me so can relate to that lizaphil but me was workin as a musician in HK,soo hard...he's almost 8 now... So about 2 years went home,as im not already happy anyayzzz,smetimes theres always a time when yah just want to chill a bit...
My boyfriend is smewhat worried if the time comes me get married and all it stil takes time to get ma son right???worried id be homesick and stuff...im more actually worried about ma parents cz they treated ma son as their own child,actually spoils him more than me,,hehehe
I kno theyre gonna be heartbroken if its time that he gets to be with me....
But like lizaphil said if the other one just gave up and uses sibling whatsoever,thats just proves that her love is not that strong...I think everyone wants to be long to someone,One uah could go home to and share al yah joys and pains.There's always a little bit sacrifice to get what u want.She had a choice..I think one should never settle for anything less..Everybody deserves to be happy...So mick choose to be happy!

[estherboaz]

sorry to hear that mick...Hope one day you will be really happy and get the happiness you deserve...

[laurel]

Mick , just want to pass on my thoughts and best wishes to you. Im gutted for you after reading this....dont know you from Adam but I feel so sad for you.
Stay strong!!!

[Peanutz]

I hope you overcome all this Mick, the show must go on...I wish you all the best.

[MarBell379]

I'm gutted for you Mick.
My fiancee has been here 10 days now and I know how I'd feel if she decided to return home. I'm not going to give any advice - you've had it from all angles now anyway.
My thoughts are with you though.
Be strong, fella. The feelings are horrible now I'm certain, but they will mellow with time.

[acs]

so sad to read your story mick. I'm from Cagayan de Oro too and been here in the uk almost 10 months now and from time to time misses my mother and siblings back in the Philippines. just like to ask though if you dont mind me asking,Does Jennifer have any communication with other Filipina in your area? Or someone she can pour herself into, i know she's with you only for a very short while,maybe her mind is very preoccupied in things back home and no one she can talk to that can give her advices that everything will all be sorted back home even if she's not there . Sometimes it really also good she can talk to someone. The amount of money, time and effort you invested on your relationship is so big already, i hope and pray one day it will be sorted out for both of you. I wish you all the best.

[LadyJ]

Hi Mick Im so shocked and saddened to hear this story, please be strong...that's all I can say.

[mickcant]

so sad to read your story mick. I'm from Cagayan de Oro too and been here in the uk almost 10 months now and from time to time misses my mother and siblings back in the Philippines. just like to ask though if you dont mind me asking,Does Jennifer have any communication with other Filipina in your area? Or someone she can pour herself into, i know she's with you only for a very short while,maybe her mind is very preoccupied in things back home and no one she can talk to that can give her advices that everything will all be sorted back home even if she's not there . Sometimes it really also good she can talk to someone. The amount of money, time and effort you invested on your relationship is so big already, i hope and pray one day it will be sorted out for both of you. I wish you all the best.

Hello ACS,
I Yes their is another Filipina living nearby.
Jennifer has had contact with her siblings every day.
I set up Skype for her to call her sisters every day by phone or text she hgad 2 new phones.
MJick.
She has gone from here now.

[ron]

Hi Mick im so sorry and feel your saddness at this time. I can truly undertstand your thoughts and feelings. A marriage should be together no matter how things are. I really hope she will realise that this is a committment. The way you have committed the love for your wife .......



Ron

[bornatbirth]

hi mick

im not sure how you will feel,probably gutted?

after reading when your wife disappeared with the visa fee,i was surprised that she came here,so i was thinking maybe shes not so bad and willing to make it work.

i dont think this as anything to do with a age gap more of a culture gap,not micks but his wifes...whats that you can take the filipina out of the philipines but cant take the philipines out of the filipina?

when we get into LDR's,first we need is trust then we need the truth.

after meeting online we need to build a relationship with the person we are chatting to and learn to trust them,then we make the big step to go and see them to see if everything they have been chatting about is the truth.

before you even thought about marring her,you should of know all about her families situation,how do you know everything shes saying about her family is for real?

im not sure if shes just after your money or her family are some excuse to go back home,it like she only needs you when she needs money and then disappears.

can i ask how well do you know her families background ie are they poor or better off and everything shes telling you is the truth?

after just 2 weeks here shes already back home and you think she wont come back,are you sure she was really interested in a relationship with you or getting married because her families situation would of been the same before you met!

telling you to stop wasting any more time or money on her is easy but somehow the next time you talk and she asks for money,you have your answer

goodluck my friend!

[Piamed]

Mick, I'm too stunned by what has happened to make a meaningful contribution but please know you are in our thoughts!!!

[tiN]

Hi Mick,

Im really sorry for what happened, but I know you'll get through it ..


All the best

tin & Paul

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Mickant,

I was stunned by your post. I can't believe a spouse would just decide to leave only after 2 weeks. In my opinion, she just married for money, pls excuse me this is just my opinion and maybe wrong for some on here. Based on your previous posts and this latest, this is what i have in mind. It would be acceptable if the homesickness is due to her son or daughter left behind but her reason was to be with her sister and brother. She has a father and step mum to take care of them. She decided to get married with you and so has to keep with that commitment. She neglected you and had stepped on your rights. I suppose that is already in her plan which is to get married to you, process the visa, get into the UK then leave because her love is not that strong. If the love is strong it won't happen this way. She will stay with you no matter what.

There are some members here who have son(s) and/or daughter(s) left behind but because they have come to a decision to be with their husbands hence the sacrifice to be away from them although plans are working out for their children to be here soon. I salute these mums they were able to make sacrifice for the sake of their husbands!!

Yes there is a great difference when it comes to neighbourhood and culture but once she noticed the difference, a two-week decision to leave the country is not reasonable or acceptable. No need to elaborate on this for everyone knows the difference. I'm sure the age gap is not the reason. There are many filipinas with great age gap but are in a happy relationship.

I hope you will be able to move on very soon. You are a very loving man i can tell in your posts. You love your wife very much and was so blind to see her doing such painful and inconsiderate acts on you. All your time and money went down the drain.

Wish you will get out of this situation soon. All the best.
Regards,
P&P

[sparky]

Mick

i dont know you being relativley new member here but my heart goes out to you.
i have been in a similar situation myself in the past albeit with a thai lady who couldnt settle here so i know the numbness that you will be feeling right now

no words of condolance can help right now but there are others out there that are thinking of you and hoping that you will be ok and come out of this stronger

[Dedworth]

Very sorry to read all this. Tomorrow's another day Mick, I wish you lots of luck.

[eagles]

Hi mick, its sad to hear your story.. But its best that you have known her desires deeply at this early time. As others say it- She had married you and her commitment should be to you, but in a matter of 2 weeks- she realized that its not..

Move on.

You got a golden heart

[GaryFifer]

Let us know how you are doing Mick. A cup of kindness does you good,but alas, you are still left with your own thoughts. I hope you talk about it when you feel ready.

[jam07]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

this is such a sad story to read :(

sorry that she went back to PI after all the things you did to her... but letting go of her and respecting her decision only shows how gentleman, kind and loving you are...

i know you are under gray skies now, dont worry, the sun will shine again...

[aromulus]

Mick....

I do feel absolutely gutted for you.

And I take this sad occasion to agree with some other members, there is no need to dwell in the past, and your main concern should be to start to move on.

To me, it seems that her heart was not in it from the start, and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.

Raise your chin, start divorce proceedings, cease all contact and money sending and look forward to a better future.
Who knows...? The real gem may just be around that corner.

She is not your responsability anymore, mate.

All the best.

[D&G]

Mick....

I do feel absolutely gutted for you.

And I take this sad occasion to agree with some other members, there is no need to dwell in the past, and your main concern should be to start to move on.

To me, it seems that her heart was not in it from the start, and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.

Raise your chin, start divorce proceedings, cease all contact and money sending and look forward to a better future.
Who knows...? The real gem may just be around that corner.

She is not your responsability anymore, mate.

All the best.

[walesrob]

this is such a sad story to read :(

sorry that she went back to PI after all the things you did to her... but letting go of her and respecting her decision only shows how gentleman, kind and loving you are...

i know you are under gray skies now, dont worry, the sun will shine again...

Agreed.

Mick, I was also stunned to read your story, I agree with most people on this forum that its probably best to put this behind you, and get on with life.

Good luck for the future.

[mickcant]

Mick....

I do feel absolutely gutted for you.

And I take this sad occasion to agree with some other members, there is no need to dwell in the past, and your main concern should be to start to move on.

To me, it seems that her heart was not in it from the start, and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.

Raise your chin, start divorce proceedings, cease all contact and money sending and look forward to a better future.
Who knows...? The real gem may just be around that corner.

She is not your responsability anymore, mate.

All the best.

Thank you,
I bought her flight back home and gave her money, she will not get any more, I have had text from her family that they are in need, but when Jennifer left they are not my main concern, I am worried about them but Jennifer has ended the marriage.
Mick.

[paulgee]

Hi Mick,
We are really sad the way things ended between you and Jennifer. But sometimes, things happened for a reason. Take this as a stepping stone to move on and live your life to the fullest.We know how hard and painful this is for you,entrust all this things to God and hold on to your faith. Don't give up, "there's always a light at the end of the darkness".

Shirley and Paul

[ginapeterb]

Lessons can be learned, and experiences make us wiser the 2nd time around


I think by now, Mick knows where he stands, it would be easy to carry out a post mortem on Jennifer and her motives, I think reading between the lines, we all get a general picture of what her motives were.

Whether we carry out an online forum post mortem, and follow the evidence as they do in CSI, remembering what Grissom says, we don't seek to investigate the WHY'S we only investigate as to how and when !

The WHY'S are very difficult to investigate, and gathering quantative evidence, i.e. money sent, fees paid, allowances given, material objects bestowed, will never really give us the Why's only what social science academics, call Qualitative evidence gathered over time in objective studies, will we start to gain some insight as to why someone like Jennifer will take the course of action she did.

Qualitative evidence can be easily obtained from previous experiences of similar cases, Mick now has a good amount of experience in dealing with Jennifer to get some understanding of the Why's of the matter.

But in my experience of hearing many such stories, I always seem to pin it down to needs and Agenda's for one Needs, hers !, Agenda's hers also, are not often met in the relationship, the needs come from the Agenda, and if the needs are not met, and do not fit with the Agenda, then the relationship will crumble and collapse shortly after.

I did not hear earlier about Mick's wife Jennifer running off with the visa fee, and if this is true, i.e. disappearing out of sight for a few days, with the visa fee, and spending it on something else, that was already a crack starting to appear.

If you take collectively the experiences of everyone on this forum who is interested in this story, I doubt whether many would subscribe to the experience that their partner ran off with the visa fee, and spent the money on other things, that at the time, had a higher priority and need than getting a visa to come to UK.

If that is the case, and I suspect it is, then you would have to say, that Jennifer's evidenciary behavior shows signs of someone who would not play ball for the whole course of the relationship.

Sometimes, it has been said, that when all the signs are there, we do not want to see them, when friends tell us, "She is not good for you", "She is a money grabber", "She is just after your money" or "This girl will break your heart", we tend not to believe them, since we follow the heart and not the head, even when the head is clearly telling us, we are going to get hurt.

In this case, I am sure if Mick examines, all the evidence he can gather, he would have seen that there was a reasonable chance that this woman, would be likely not to last the course, and yet he decided to go on with this project, he is entitled to do that, and to go to the lengths of getting a marriage contract to this woman, he has stayed the course, I am happy to hear that Mick has decided that he will not now send any more money, and I suspect that when he switches off the tap, and their are no more remittances, the contact will also disappear quite fast.

Aromulus has stated in his post, that Mick should start divorce proceedings, and if the marriage has subsisted for 12 months, he could do that almost certainly straight away, desertion comes to mind, and I think that is what will be the reason.

As some one else in their post said, "Its easy to tell someone to drop her, but not so easy when you are married" that is also true, and messy as well, as I said in an earlier post, Mick doesnt need to hear how he got it wrong, I think his intentions were honourable, and it was his desire to be happy, and he tried to make that happen, sadly, this did not work, I think now is the time to rally round Mick and tell him, he is in our thoughts, and we seem to have done that.

I hope Mick does not give up, in truth, I hope he puts this behind him quickly, and to be honest, I hope he starts to find a girlfriend quickly, in my experience, if he does, this will soon be a passing memory, Get cracking Mick, make today the 1st day of the rest of your life, we are with you all the way. !

[ViesVies]

Thank you,
I bought her flight back home and gave her money, she will not get any more, I have had text from her family that they are in need, but when Jennifer left they are not my main concern, I am worried about them but Jennifer has ended the marriage.
Mick.

Mick please dont send funds as I feel that if wife asks for funds for what ever reason, she is with you for funds and not love. There are some genuine phils out here who ask for love and nothing more. Please Im not saying your Jeniffer was not genuine, not at all. I can not give you advice but I can say my thoughts are with you.

ViesVies

[Sophie]

Thank you,
I bought her flight back home and gave her money, she will not get any more, I have had text from her family that they are in need, but when Jennifer left they are not my main concern, I am worried about them but Jennifer has ended the marriage.
Mick.

Good decision mick
You're such a kind and honourable man, you truly deserve better and she's so not worthy of you.....

I suspect she will contact you the moment she ran out of money and if you refuse, she may come up with false stories
probably about someone dying in her family or herself having a serious illness, just to manipulate you into sending her money,
she may concoct any form of drama and script just to play on your kindness and vulnerability.....don't ever fall for that mick....

She cannot just disregard you and take your feelings for granted and and walk out on your marriage and get away with it
without facing the consequences of her selfish actions and her inconsiderate & uncaring behavior......Sorry if i've been so blunt about this mick.....

[angel1231]

Maybe there is something deeper than her excuse for leaving the uk...but im sure thing will get better just give it a time......

[IainBusby]

Lessons can be learned, and experiences make us wiser the 2nd time around


I think by now, Mick knows where he stands, it would be easy to carry out a post mortem on Jennifer and her motives, I think reading between the lines, we all get a general picture of what her motives were.

Whether we carry out an online forum post mortem, and follow the evidence as they do in CSI, remembering what Grissom says, we don't seek to investigate the WHY'S we only investigate as to how and when !

The WHY'S are very difficult to investigate, and gathering quantative evidence, i.e. money sent, fees paid, allowances given, material objects bestowed, will never really give us the Why's only what social science academics, call Qualitative evidence gathered over time in objective studies, will we start to gain some insight as to why someone like Jennifer will take the course of action she did.

Qualitative evidence can be easily obtained from previous experiences of similar cases, Mick now has a good amount of experience in dealing with Jennifer to get some understanding of the Why's of the matter.

But in my experience of hearing many such stories, I always seem to pin it down to needs and Agenda's for one Needs, hers !, Agenda's hers also, are not often met in the relationship, the needs come from the Agenda, and if the needs are not met, and do not fit with the Agenda, then the relationship will crumble and collapse shortly after.

I did not hear earlier about Mick's wife Jennifer running off with the visa fee, and if this is true, i.e. disappearing out of sight for a few days, with the visa fee, and spending it on something else, that was already a crack starting to appear.

If you take collectively the experiences of everyone on this forum who is interested in this story, I doubt whether many would subscribe to the experience that their partner ran off with the visa fee, and spent the money on other things, that at the time, had a higher priority and need than getting a visa to come to UK.

If that is the case, and I suspect it is, then you would have to say, that Jennifer's evidenciary behavior shows signs of someone who would not play ball for the whole course of the relationship.

Sometimes, it has been said, that when all the signs are there, we do not want to see them, when friends tell us, "She is not good for you", "She is a money grabber", "She is just after your money" or "This girl will break your heart", we tend not to believe them, since we follow the heart and not the head, even when the head is clearly telling us, we are going to get hurt.

In this case, I am sure if Mick examines, all the evidence he can gather, he would have seen that there was a reasonable chance that this woman, would be likely not to last the course, and yet he decided to go on with this project, he is entitled to do that, and to go to the lengths of getting a marriage contract to this woman, he has stayed the course, I am happy to hear that Mick has decided that he will not now send any more money, and I suspect that when he switches off the tap, and their are no more remittances, the contact will also disappear quite fast.

Aromulus has stated in his post, that Mick should start divorce proceedings, and if the marriage has subsisted for 12 months, he could do that almost certainly straight away, desertion comes to mind, and I think that is what will be the reason.

As some one else in their post said, "Its easy to tell someone to drop her, but not so easy when you are married" that is also true, and messy as well, as I said in an earlier post, Mick doesnt need to hear how he got it wrong, I think his intentions were honourable, and it was his desire to be happy, and he tried to make that happen, sadly, this did not work, I think now is the time to rally round Mick and tell him, he is in our thoughts, and we seem to have done that.

I hope Mick does not give up, in truth, I hope he puts this behind him quickly, and to be honest, I hope he starts to find a girlfriend quickly, in my experience, if he does, this will soon be a passing memory, Get cracking Mick, make today the 1st day of the rest of your life, we are with you all the way. !

Well summarised as always Pete.