Lessons can be learned, and experiences make us wiser the 2nd time around
I think by now, Mick knows where he stands, it would be easy to carry out a post mortem on Jennifer and her motives, I think reading between the lines, we all get a general picture of what her motives were.
Whether we carry out an online forum post mortem, and follow the evidence as they do in CSI, remembering what Grissom says, we don't seek to investigate the WHY'S we only investigate as to how and when !
The WHY'S are very difficult to investigate, and gathering quantative evidence, i.e. money sent, fees paid, allowances given, material objects bestowed, will never really give us the Why's only what social science academics, call Qualitative evidence gathered over time in objective studies, will we start to gain some insight as to why someone like Jennifer will take the course of action she did.
Qualitative evidence can be easily obtained from previous experiences of similar cases, Mick now has a good amount of experience in dealing with Jennifer to get some understanding of the Why's of the matter.
But in my experience of hearing many such stories, I always seem to pin it down to needs and Agenda's for one Needs, hers !, Agenda's hers also, are not often met in the relationship, the needs come from the Agenda, and if the needs are not met, and do not fit with the Agenda, then the relationship will crumble and collapse shortly after.
I did not hear earlier about Mick's wife Jennifer running off with the visa fee, and if this is true, i.e. disappearing out of sight for a few days, with the visa fee, and spending it on something else, that was already a crack starting to appear.
If you take collectively the experiences of everyone on this forum who is interested in this story, I doubt whether many would subscribe to the experience that their partner ran off with the visa fee, and spent the money on other things, that at the time, had a higher priority and need than getting a visa to come to UK.
If that is the case, and I suspect it is, then you would have to say, that Jennifer's evidenciary behavior shows signs of someone who would not play ball for the whole course of the relationship.
Sometimes, it has been said, that when all the signs are there, we do not want to see them, when friends tell us, "She is not good for you", "She is a money grabber", "She is just after your money" or "This girl will break your heart", we tend not to believe them, since we follow the heart and not the head, even when the head is clearly telling us, we are going to get hurt.
In this case, I am sure if Mick examines, all the evidence he can gather, he would have seen that there was a reasonable chance that this woman, would be likely not to last the course, and yet he decided to go on with this project, he is entitled to do that, and to go to the lengths of getting a marriage contract to this woman, he has stayed the course, I am happy to hear that Mick has decided that he will not now send any more money, and I suspect that when he switches off the tap, and their are no more remittances, the contact will also disappear quite fast.
Aromulus has stated in his post, that Mick should start divorce proceedings, and if the marriage has subsisted for 12 months, he could do that almost certainly straight away, desertion comes to mind, and I think that is what will be the reason.
As some one else in their post said, "Its easy to tell someone to drop her, but not so easy when you are married" that is also true, and messy as well, as I said in an earlier post, Mick doesnt need to hear how he got it wrong, I think his intentions were honourable, and it was his desire to be happy, and he tried to make that happen, sadly, this did not work, I think now is the time to rally round Mick and tell him, he is in our thoughts, and we seem to have done that.
I hope Mick does not give up, in truth, I hope he puts this behind him quickly, and to be honest, I hope he starts to find a girlfriend quickly, in my experience, if he does, this will soon be a passing memory, Get cracking Mick, make today the 1st day of the rest of your life, we are with you all the way. !
