thanks angel..... winter sucksOriginally Posted by angel1231
Every time fall and winter comes im always depressed and always sad as everthing turns to grey and cold ....so what i do is feel possitive or take a trip to pinas ...and come back very happy in the summer....
Maybe you need some space and time for yourself a little vacation will do you good.good luck hope you find a positive in all this happining to you.
i dont like english weather....except summer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
rightly said, depression will stay no matter where i am.. i do try to keep busy but i find it so hard as i get tired so easy now..Things would not actually change with the way you feel at the moment if you went home, if you have real depression you easily find other things to be miserable about back in the Philippines.
The best way to help yourself is to keep active and help others, stay away from depression meds they only dumb you down, and none are a cure. You should speak to your doc about hormones replacement though, they can help a lot for most women.
Rumour on here has it you like cooking and food, do something to help with kids parties, that way making many more folk happy actually rubs off on you.
i was on HRT for 3 months it gave me high blood pressure so the docs decided that we should stop it. and i was also reading up on it and found out that it increases the risk of breast cancer by alot.
the doctors want to give me anti depressant i said no... i feel really old :(
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
Go to the House of Commons .... strip naked .....and run around screaming 'Hallalujah the Lord is a coming' ..... blame it on the menopause when the police nick you, you'll just get a warning ..... then you'll be too busy with TV interviews to get depressed
Keith - Administrator
hi miss piggy.... sometimes i tend to not let my real emotion show... i am very good at making others see that i am ok even though most times i am not... but recently i am having a real hard time controlling my anger, my temper and tears.... just last night i walked on my hubby and walked till i couldnt walk no more, i do not know where all this is coming from, maybe its down to all my built up frustrations over the years... i even told him i want a divorceAwww...Maria..sorry you're feeling down. Just like BAB, I didn't see any hints whilst reading your previous posts. Anyways, I think Tawi is right, a time off can usually help. Just like you, I get really stressed at times - be it due to work, or just living in the UK and not having my first family, etc. I normally go back home when it gets really tough and a couple of times it lasted only a week. But it helped me immensely.
I've experienced living away from my husband for three months before we finally came to the UK. It's not easy, and it's really sad. Although we keep on calling each other almost everyday, it's never the same. My kids are younger than yours, I'm sure it will make no difference but during those three months, I can fully sense that my children are missing their dad so much as well.
Within this year, I am pushing my husband to get a post back in Asia. I was at one point overly depressed, which made him give in to the idea that I stay in Manila with the kids while he's here in the UK waiting for any possible posts back anywhere in Asia which ofcourse is not guaranteed. I can't find it in my heart to leave him here by himself for an unknown length of time. I feel it will be unfair for my kids as well.
From your previous posts, I know you love your husband dearly so any decision you make won't be easy. But there's no need to be hasty on majour decisions, just take your time and even a short break will help you clear your mind.
Hope you feel better soon.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
That would be nice Rusty. I will let you know when. Thank you very much.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
i am surprise that your husband is willing to compromise with you by letting you go home and visits you twice a year, how very kind of him. Some people who have a nice life, nice house and may be plenty of money what else they can ask for but I believe we don't need to have everything in this world to be happy and contented. i think some people just make their life too complicated and that's the problem.I spoke to hubby about what I feel, and he told me that if I do decide to go back home he will visit me twice a year. part of me wants to go, but i do not want to leave hubby behind :(.... i am so depressed with winter coming up... what do you guys think i should do
hope you overcome the menopausal stage.
Have not been read other members post,only your depression (problem) but this is my opinion, as I have read you been here for 17 years,so obviously winter does not make any difference no more for been staying here for 17 years i gather.....and as for me weather would not make any problem to me at all as long as I am with my husband through thick and thin I will be w/ him no matter what temperature it was....Just my humble opinion..why not try for vacation,maybe you just missed your relatives, i read also some of your thread your moaning about your relatives the way you full the balik bayan box and never even say Hello to you at all...dont you think your husband need you more during this winter season no matter what.
Just my share (sabi nga ang mag asawa nilalang ng diyos para mag buklod hindi maghiwalay) how nice your husband saying he allow you and he will visit you,think about it thrice Maria stay with your husband.
You sound to be a reserved person.If you do not express your feelings, it causes problems. Continue as normal, people do not know if you are feeling sad.I have been married to my husband for 9 years now, i know that he loves me and my son so much. But lately I have been feeling so depressed about our life here in the UK. After having been here for 17 yrs now I feel like I am ready to go back home. Our 9 yrs has been so full of trials, we have been trying to have a baby but i keep on losing them. Last year my consultant told me I should have a hysterectomy to lessen the pain and to kill any chances of the cancer returning. I did have the op and now I am on menopause aged 38. I spoke to hubby about what I feel, and he told me that if I do decide to go back home he will visit me twice a year. part of me wants to go, but i do not want to leave hubby behind :(.... i am so depressed with winter coming up... what do you guys think i should do
I do not know, but I am just echo what you already said. I think all the pain and bad times you have been through have got to you. Trying for a baby for a long period of time without success must be painful. The fact that you use the word "guilty" means you think it is your fault. Maybe you think it is your fault because your body does not work. There are still many opinions, doctors will discuss things with you. Maria, many couples have different problems. You and your husband need to talk together about this. There is should be a support group you can join and discuss difficult issues.
Perhaps you have not had time to grieve for all the problems. You just got on with life again, like a robot doing the housework without thinking. Sorry by saying robot, but you get what I mean, continue as normal.
Your husband is wrong to let you go home. I do not think visiting you twice a year is love. Almost like he wants you out of the way. I think that is a mans way of dealing with pain, to ignore problem. If he is isolating himself on laptop always and not talking, the lack of communication in the house will not solve the pain.
You know inside your heart you must not keep your feelings bottled up.That is why you are acting this way now
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Go to the House of Commons .... strip naked .....and run around screaming 'Hallalujah the Lord is a coming' ..... blame it on the menopause when the police nick you, you'll just get a warning ..... then you'll be too busy with TV interviews to get depressedthe first time i laughed in a long time
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
very well said gary, i have had a lifetime of hurts and pains in this country... my first husband was not so nice to me... all the miscarriages, the illness...in a way i feel guilty for not giving my husband a chance to be a 'real father'...
in this house we do not talk a lot... my husband as he says is not very good with words... he always seem to say the wrong things, and it makes things a thousand times worst...
i have managed to 'mask' all those feelings, and now all of a sudden i have become tired of life... friends tell me that i cam just selfish, not knowing what i have... but all i can say is, material things do not complete life... it does not make one any happier... now that is something all of us needs to realize....
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
Hi Maria,
So sorry to hear about your situation at the moment. I was once told that we should never
make any major decisions when we are too high or too low, sounds like you fit in to the latter at the moment.
You have a hell of a lot going on! As someone advised, please consult a doctor with a view to hormone replacement treatment, menopause shouldn't be underestimated, ever!
I think you've done a brave and positive thing by starting this thread and at least
starting to offload how you are feeling. You touched on not being open regarding your feelings, that's not too good for our emotional wellbeing, especially in your present situation.
With your menopause you may feel 'ultra' sensitive and emotional, compounded by the
colder, darker weather looming.
Do you not have a close friend you can trust? A good soulmate? I'm sure it would
help to offload on a regular basis rather than letting things build up until you are ready to
explode.
Remember, this won't last forever, although sometimes it may feel like it.
Continue to address this, you may not have the answers just now, but at least you have
started to ask the questions.
God bless, Tommy.
Ading Maria, think very carefully. Dont solve the problem with another problem. Pause in a minute and say to yoursekf "is this a solution? or a another problem in the future?... Lilipas din yan ading, Im sure your hubby will be hurt if you choose to go back home. And maybe you yourself will be hurt too.
Take it easy sweetheart.
"Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city"...
(Psalm 31:21)
Hello M&M
OMG!!! I can just almost feel exactly how you feel or maybe in a different way.
I just came back from my holiday in Philippines 2 weeks ago, first time i been home for 2 and half years and when i came back i just cant explain the sadness.
I'm bored, easily annoyed, i cant be bothered doing anything,(i havent even watched tv since i came back)
All i want is to go home but i know that wont make me really happy coz i cant imagine myself being apart from my hubby.
I know (and i'm hoping) i will go back to the way i was before but i suppose it will take time and some effort from me.
If i'm allowed to make suggestion why not do a volunteering? it feels good that you help others.
There is a magazine I know ralled Take a Break, and if you share you experiences. There are 2 ways of doing this. They use ordinary folks. So this is your social network
1 Chums4mums- http://www.takeabreak.co.uk/chums4mumsChums4mums is a social network which allows you to contact other mums in your area. What you do next is up to you. You can email one another, text or meet up. You can share problems. You may become best friends. Every mum can find a chum.
2 Takeabuddy - is to put you into contact with a special issue http://www.takeabreak.co.uk/take-buddy
Who knows someone might come through the same problems as you.
with boss about not taking the anti-depressants. A good talk with people over a cuppa will do you the world of good. Stuck in the house with no lady to talk to must drive you
crazy. Left with your own thoughts is not good. Have something to look forward to everyday
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Like so many have said before, I hope this difficult period in your life can be resolved soon. Don't make any quick decisions, your thinking for not just you but your husband and son's futures too. A family split apart is a wound that takes a long time to heal and the scars never go, no matter how well we try to hide them. Be strong and let those that love you be strong for you.
Get a roll of toilet paper ..... print Gordon Browns face on each sheet, then at least when you have a dump you have something to smile about
Keith - Administrator
Dont do that, He is a nice guy I can feel. i even told him i want a divorce
Well even better. if he is a nice guy on paper he can feel soft strong and very long against your puwit
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Thanks to Tommy, I just hope that I feel better soon :-(...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
If I do not love him I would go back home now. But i know if I do he would feel so sad being here at home alone. It's just now he is hardly home anyway, so I find myself alone feeling miserable most days :-(
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
I hope you feel beter soon Ms. Maria..
I have some filipina friends nearby, but they do not understand at all.There is a magazine I know ralled Take a Break, and if you share you experiences. There are 2 ways of doing this. They use ordinary folks. So this is your social network
1 Chums4mums- http://www.takeabreak.co.uk/chums4mumsChums4mums is a social network which allows you to contact other mums in your area. What you do next is up to you. You can email one another, text or meet up. You can share problems. You may become best friends. Every mum can find a chum.
2 Takeabuddy - is to put you into contact with a special issue http://www.takeabreak.co.uk/take-buddy
Who knows someone might come through the same problems as you.
One told me I should be happy coz i have everything i want
she then went on and called me a selfish brat
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
very well said, my son never got over the emotional stress he had when his dad and i divorced.
i always think of him first maybe that is why i am still here in england.
i am just feeling so miserable and so low of late :-( here comes the tears again :-(
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
If you feel like crying, just cry it all out, after all, crying is the best outlet and keeping it all in will just make you feel heavier inside....
eventually your tears will run out and you will come out on top of this situation, tougher and stronger......
From there, decide to do something about this and be in charge of your own happiness and self fulfillment.....
As others already suggested, go for volunteering, get involve in social activities where you will feel fulfilled and happy....
Or get into a fitness club, get into a sport that interest you, shop or go to a spa and unwind,
pampering yourself once in a while could renew and rejuvenate your spirit and it will make you feel good about yourself...
Your life doesn't just revolve around your husband and son, you should have a life too, outside your family.....
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
It doesn't matter what you have in life stress and depression can get to anybody. If a friend called me a selfish brat when I wanted somebody to talk to I would seriously consider whether they were a true friend or not.she then went on and called me a selfish brat
I hope you get over this rough patch soon, Maria. take care
"Maria the Magical Magician" ..... Mud Wrestler World Champion
Just imagine how much it'll save you in skin care treatment
Keith - Administrator
hahaha, i like all ur replies sir win2win. U make me laft
i hope u make maria laff too
"Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city"...
(Psalm 31:21)
This is the place to unwind!
The Westin Beach Resort, Fort Lauderdale
http://www.starwoodhotels.com/westin...ropertyID=3328
LOL"Maria the Magical Magician" ..... Mud Wrestler World Champion
Just imagine how much it'll save you in skin care treatment
I don't think this is the kind of sport maria would be interested in, and neither would this be a good substitute for a spa either
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
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