Advice for a Friend

[bless.books]

This is a scenario of a friend. She is torn whether to join the husband or not.She will be grateful to know your advice. Thanks in advance.

Husband works abroad, who comes home (Philippines) at company's expense once a month (3days stay only). Four kids, all boys - 1 going to uni, 3 going to secondary educatiom. Education is not free and quite expensive. Wife is working by choice. They miss each other a lot.

If wife/kids join husband abroad, here is what they get -
Husband/wife are together
Kids education is free except the uni.
The Eldest kid doesn't want to go, means she will be leaving him.

[September]

I can feel why the eldest kid doesnt want to go, Barkada or friends.

If your friend didnt struggle financially I would tell her to stay where ever she are (w/ kids) living in the UK is not really paradise, you would struggle to the weather here and things are way to expensive.

[bless.books]

I can feel why the eldest kid doesnt want to go, Barkada or friends. If your friend didnt struggle financially I would tell her to stay where ever she are (w/ kids) living in the UK is not really paradise, you would struggle to the weather here and things are way to expensive.

Hello September! Thanks for this. It is a question of being away from husband, fear of going astray ... women intuition

[James Hubbard]

I can feel why the eldest kid doesnt want to go, Barkada or friends.

If your friend didnt struggle financially I would tell her to stay where ever she are (w/ kids) living in the UK is not really paradise, you would struggle to the weather here and things are way to expensive.

That could be said, but it's a matter of perspective. Like the climate here, some love it, some hate it. I have met Filipinos who loved snow and cold temperatures!

As for the expensive side, it really depends on what part of the UK. I mean, if it's London or Big City, things can get expensive.

What you also must remember is that price sometimes equals value.

You can buy a cheap computer, but it'll be a crap one!

Spend a few thousand pounds on a laptop, and it'll be an awesome computer!

It's all a matter of perspective.

When you go to the west, it's advisable to leave your eastern mindset behind, or you'll never enjoy it in the UK,

my 2 centavos

[kimmi]

This is a scenario of a friend. She is torn whether to join the husband or not.She will be grateful to know your advice. Thanks in advance.

Husband works abroad, who comes home (Philippines) at company's expense once a month (3days stay only). Four kids, all boys - 1 going to uni, 3 going to secondary educatiom. Education is not free and quite expensive. Wife is working by choice. They miss each other a lot.

If wife/kids join husband abroad, here is what they get -
Husband/wife are together
Kids education is free except the uni.
The Eldest kid doesn't want to go, means she will be leaving him.

It is really hard situation for ur friend to decide, but I think their children are all grown up now,and if there somebody they can trust to look after with their eldest then why not?

If your friend didnt struggle financially I would tell her to stay where ever she are (w/ kids) living in the UK is not really paradise, you would struggle to the weather here and things are way to expensive.

it might not be a paradise but if coming to the UK is to be with ur family or loved ones isnt it no matter how freezing it will be or how struggling the life is we'll still go for it??

[James Hubbard]

it might not be a paradise but

Personally my idea of paradise is in the UK by the fireside eating a curry and drinking a stella watching the "Dave" channel.

[pennybarry]

This is a scenario of a friend. She is torn whether to join the husband or not.She will be grateful to know your advice. Thanks in advance.

Husband works abroad, who comes home (Philippines) at company's expense once a month (3days stay only). Four kids, all boys - 1 going to uni, 3 going to secondary educatiom. Education is not free and quite expensive. Wife is working by choice. They miss each other a lot.

If wife/kids join husband abroad, here is what they get -
Husband/wife are together
Kids education is free except the uni.
The Eldest kid doesn't want to go, means she will be leaving him.

Why not first try? If they try it, then there will be no regrets in the future.. There's still way out if they don't like to live here.

Children below 18 is still parents custody and wether he likes it or not, I will convince and oblige him well rather than leaving him. It is my right to oblige him for good reasons. IMO

[Leo]

hey whats wrong with our weather its what makes England so green look at all the rain in the Phillippines of late

[James Hubbard]

hey whats wrong with our weather its what makes England so green look at all the rain in the Phillippines of late

It's only some who have problem with the weather, it's too cold for many Filipinos, but there are a goodly number who enjoy the cold weather.

As for rain, give me UK rain over Filipino rain anyday! The Filipino rain gives me bruises! In the UK, I just get wet!

We have no typhoons, earthquakes ... when we have one, we don't know until we hear on the news the next day - we don't feel them . . .

Our weather is preferable in that regard.

[bless.books]

I can feel why the eldest kid doesnt want to go, Barkada or friends. If your friend didnt struggle financially I would tell her to stay where ever she are (w/ kids) living in the UK is not really paradise, you would struggle to the weather here and things are way to expensive.

Hello again September! Yes, if I am the kid, I would feel the same. And probably would prefer staying considering the idea of freedom. You know what's it like, being told by parents Let me just add more to the info. They are a bit 'can afford' and it is not UK. Just another East Asian Country.

Grateful if you could give another input. Thanks a lot!

[bless.books]

That could be said, but it's a matter of perspective. Like the climate here, some love it, some hate it. I have met Filipinos who loved snow and cold temperatures! As for the expensive side, it really depends on what part of the UK. I mean, if it's London or Big City, things can get expensive. What you also must remember is that price sometimes equals value. You can buy a cheap computer, but it'll be a crap one! Spend a few thousand pounds on a laptop, and it'll be an awesome computer! It's all a matter of perspective. When you go to the west, it's advisable to leave your eastern mindset behind, or you'll never enjoy it in the UK, my 2 centavos

Hello James! My friends are quite well-off, meaning it is not an average family we are talking here not like the one you probably seen/observed. The husband is not working abroad bec he needs it but bec he was moved by his employer. The wife is working by choice bec she is bored just staying at home. Kids are in private schools that they pay huge amount. Whereas if they move, these will be shouldered by the company and the advantage of experiencing other culture/education system. They have relatives in the US, working as professionals and they have the option to live there for good if they want to. They choose to stay in the Philippines. And by the way they are well-travelled family.

It is more of a concern on the relationship as a family - being together and why not, if there is a free education!?

Anyway, thanks for your 2 centavos? I would rather draw a very constructive advice from you rather than pointing out something else.

[Tawi2]

Are you the lady in question Bless?Is it your family?If thats the case only you can truly decide whats best for yourself and your children,we all follow different paths but hope you follow the right one for your personal circumstances

[bless.books]

It is really hard situation for ur friend to decide, but I think their children are all grown up now,and if there somebody they can trust to look after with their eldest then why not? it might not be a paradise but if coming to the UK is to be with ur family or loved ones isnt it no matter how freezing it will be or how struggling the life is we'll still go for it??

Hello Kimmi! Thanks for your good advice. Yes, it is really hard and the weigth is on her specially. Bec it is not just her or her husband, it is for the whole family. If I may mention, it is not in the UK, it is in another East Asian country.

Yes, they have someone they can trust to look after the eldest son, but you know how it is handling a teenager.

Yes, I agree with you, talking about being with the family. And that is why she is having a big dilemma bec once she signed up to it, it is going to be permanent more or less. And this of course will make a great impact on the kids life.

[bless.books]

Personally my idea of paradise is in the UK by the fireside eating a curry and drinking a stella watching the "Dave" channel.

Hello again James! You are entitled to your opinion that - paradise is in the UK

UK is not the only country in the world apart from the Philippines. I think you should travel more and have a look around and you will realise what I mean. I Saying this doesn't mean that UK is not a paradise.

Q -What makes the place paradise?
A -The people in that place.

[James Hubbard]

Hello again James!
UK is not the only country in the world apart from the Philippines. I think you should travel more and have a look around and you will realise what I mean.

Well it's always nice to be pwned with a bit of Pretentious Condescension! :sport-smiley-003:

[bless.books]

Why not first try? If they try it, then there will be no regrets in the future.. There's still way out if they don't like to live here. Children below 18 is still parents custody and wether he likes it or not, I will convince and oblige him well rather than leaving him. It is my right to oblige him for good reasons. IMO

Hello pennybarry! Really thanks for your input. First, I just would like to add that is it not UK but moving to another East Asian country.

And if ever they decide moving abroad, it is more like a permanent. The trial and error bit there she is worried about is the disruption on education and at the same time balancing the fact of being with the husband.

[bless.books]

hey whats wrong with our weather its what makes England so green look at all the rain in the Phillippines of late

Hello Leo! Thanks for dropping a note. Nothing wrong with your weather/climate. UK is UK bec of your weather. otherwise ...

How about giving an advice to a friend, eh? This is a real situation and she will be grateful to hear anything from you and everyone here.

[bless.books]

Are you the lady in question Bless?Is it your family?If thats the case only you can truly decide whats best for yourself and your children,we all follow different paths but hope you follow the right one for your personal circumstances

Hello Tawi2! Thank you very much for your words and how nicely you put it. To answer, nope ... this is not my family though she is a very close friend of mine and I am affected in a way bec I know them. So, to add more to what I've said, I decided to put this one here. This is my way of helping her. I am very sure that she will be very grateful. Your comments/suggestion are valuable. It makes one see the other angle. And maybe she can come up with a decision most beneficial to her family.

If this is my family, it would really really be hard! And I would not know how am I going to handle it. I will go safe by saying, I'll cross the bridge when I get there.

[joebloggs]

The Eldest kid doesn't want to go, means she will be leaving him.

is the husband a brit or pinoy ?? if brit the eldest might not want to go now, but if they change their mind, and the rest of her family go abroad or to the uk, good chance she will not be able to join them, only way would be to try and get a visa on her own,,

my stepson came to the uk, after a few weeks he wanted to go back to the phils, he spent 18 months here, went back to the phils nearly 2 yrs ago , to go back to uni, now wants to come back to the UK for good, he can as he has ILR. but your friends oldest might not have a choice soon, if they do anyway because of immigration law.

[bless.books]

is the husband a brit or pinoy ?? if brit the eldest might not want to go now, but if they change their mind, and the rest of her family go abroad or to the uk, good chance she will not be able to join them, only way would be to try and get a visa on her own, my stepson came to the uk, after a few weeks he wanted to go back to the phils, he spent 18 months here, went back to the phils nearly 2 yrs ago , to go back to uni, now wants to come back to the UK for good, he can as he has ILR. but your friends oldest might not have a choice soon, if they do anyway because of immigration law.

Hello joebloogs! Thank you for sharing. Your advice will be very much appreciated.

Here to explain and making it clear.
They are all pure Pinoys, has abandon the idea of moving to the US. They also got no problem with visas, bec it is not required in South East Asian countries. If they remain in the Phils - she sees the husband only once a month. Not much father figure for the kid. Wife go to work as a matter of choice (boredom). They have to pay for the education but they can afford it, financially, no problem. It is more of a family being away from one another and the oppurtunity of free education.

If they join him in Thailand -
Wife cannot work, not allowed, so she might be bored.
The company will pay for the kids education except for the UNI.
The eldest son doesn't want to go (he will be in UNI).
Langguage is a barrier (to get around, you have to knowat least know basic Thai)

[bornatbirth]

Hello again James! You are entitled to your opinion that - paradise is in the UK

UK is not the only country in the world apart from the Philippines. I think you should travel more and have a look around and you will realise what I mean. I Saying this doesn't mean that UK is not a paradise.

Q -What makes the place paradise?
A -The people in that place.

can i ask,what advice did you put in your book about being nice on the internet

the more you say the meaner you sound

[bless.books]

can i ask,what advice did you put in your book about being nice on the internet the more you say the meaner you sound

Hello bornabirth! First, why don't you buy one to find out?!
Second, the book is about the life in the uk not about something else. Third, about 'the meaner you sound' that is entirely to you - that is you perception of me. Fourth, it was a reply to JH.

[bornatbirth]

Hello bornabirth! First, why don't you buy one to find out?!
Second, the book is about the life in the uk not about something else. Third, about 'the meaner you sound' that is entirely to you - that is you perception of me. Fourth, it was a reply to JH.

yep,you skipped that chapter

[bless.books]

can i ask,what advice did you put in your book about being nice on the internet the more you say the meaner you sound

Hello again bornabirth! I would just like to clarify things. When I said what I said, I was merely stating and telling to JH that - wherever/anywhere - IS A PARADISE. And what makes it THE PEOPLE.

To be understood and make it plainly - I may be living in a slum area, bec I have my family, it's a paradise! We could living in a mansion with no one in it, no soul!

[James Hubbard]

Hello again bornabirth! I would just like to clarify things. When I said what I said, I was merely stating and telling to JH that - wherever/anywhere - IS A PARADISE. And what makes it THE PEOPLE.

To be understood and make it plainly - I may be living in a slum area, bec bec I have my family, it s a paradise! Whoat could living in a mansion with no one in it, no soul!

In logic dear, that is called a false dichotomy (click here to learn your crime)

pwned back

[James Hubbard]

can i ask,what advice did you put in your book about being nice on the internet

the more you say the meaner you sound

It's ok - it's a matter of credibility! I don't need any as I'm not trying to sell anything!

[bless.books]

Hello everyone! Thank yous to those who shared their insights. Here, making it more specific. Maybe you can add more. If you are in my friend's shoes, would you move or not?

Here to explain further - The family, all pure Pinoys, has abandon the idea of moving to the US. They also got no problem with visas (South East Asia), they can move there any time.

If they (her and kids) remain in the Phils -
She will only see the husband only once a month.
Not much father figure for the kid.
Wife goes to work as a matter of choice (boredom).
They have to pay for the education but they can afford it, financially, no problem.
It is more of a family being away from one another and the oppurtunity of free education.

If they join him in Thailand -
Wife cannot work, not allowed, so she might be bored.
The company will pay for the kids education except for the UNI.
The eldest son doesn't want to go (he will be in UNI).
Langguage is a barrier (to get around, you have to know at least know basic Thai)
Big adjustment for the kids

[somebody]

Hello again James! You are entitled to your opinion that - paradise is in the UK

UK is not the only country in the world apart from the Philippines. I think you should travel more and have a look around and you will realise what I mean. I Saying this doesn't mean that UK is not a paradise.

Q -What makes the place paradise?
A -The people in that place.

James and Bless I think you should both switch countries

[somebody]

Hello everyone! Thank yous to those who shared their insights. Here, making it more specific. Maybe you can add more. If you are in my friend's shoes, would you move or not?

Here to explain further - The family, all pure Pinoys, has abandon the idea of moving to the US. They also got no problem with visas (South East Asia), they can move there any time.

If they (her and kids) remain in the Phils -
She will only see the husband only once a month.
Not much father figure for the kid.
Wife goes to work as a matter of choice (boredom).
They have to pay for the education but they can afford it, financially, no problem.
It is more of a family being away from one another and the oppurtunity of free education.

If they join him in Thailand -
Wife cannot work, not allowed, so she might be bored.
The company will pay for the kids education except for the UNI.
The eldest son doesn't want to go (he will be in UNI).
Langguage is a barrier (to get around, you have to know at least know basic Thai)
Big adjustment for the kids

I would say do it.

Like Penny says what do you have to lose? The children see another culture possible learn another language free education a father figure sounds a good Idea.

Im guessing if the Hubby there he is not the only phill possibly other ex pat Phills there.

Seen plenty of Ex pats from Various asian countries hopping back to Phill as not a long flight.