Communication has to be two-sided, in order to be effective. Perhaps your boyfriend simply feels more at ease with people in his own "peer" group. Lots of folk [myself included] find it easier to carry on a conversation with someone they know well. It's possible, too, that he's particularly self-conscious in front of your family and friends because, for instance, he may be overly concerned about the kind of impression he THINKS he's likely to make on them ... be afraid of becoming tongue-tied ... and decides to take the line of least resistance by "retreating into his shell".Originally Posted by sassy
Hi
anyone have any ideas as to why my filipino b/f is very quiet in front of my friends and family? He is very talkative with his own filipino friends etc. Have been in a relationship with him for two years and he has been living in U.K. for 1 year already but always seems not to make any effort with them? He says it is the language barrier but his english is fluent! When I try talking to him about it he dismisses it. He isn't shy at all and will only answer them when spoken to. Obviously to the outsider this can appear rude and anti social. Even if one's english was very basic, anyone can have a simple conversation. But as I say there is no problem with this. What do you guys suggest I can do? Very difficult to talk to him about it.
Certainly in my experience, it's rare to encounter an inherently anti-social Filipino... and if I were you, I'd have a talk with your parents, sibling(s) and close friends, and try to persuade THEM to "draw him out" a bit ... make the 'first move' in other words. This will, at least, help your b/f to relax in their company and encourage HIM to establish a more naturally responsive and spontaneous line of communication.
