Trying to report spouce returned back to Philippines after 2 weeks

[mickcant]

Thany you Iain and all,
I will give it a few day to see if I get a reply then re post as advised.
soc001007 sugested I could get a divorce for around £300.00 by getting the papers from the court and that if Jennifer was willing to sign to say she had deserted me it would go through fairly easily, but she has said she does not want to divorce at the moment!
I did make it clear to her I would be sending no money to her, but she must be hoping she can claim somehow or I would have thought she would welcome the divorce.
Mick.

Hi all,
To add to the divorce issue, I have just found this on a divorce website:
What are the grounds for a divorce?
Irretrievable breakdown of marriage is the only grounds for divorce. You must prove irretrievable breakdown in one of five different ways. These are:
- adultery
- unreasonable behavior (often described as cruelty)
- desertion for two years
- separation for two years where the other party consents
- separation for five years (no consent needed)

So wth the fact that she left me does it seem I have to wait untill she has been gone two years?
If I wantd to divorce now does that mean it woud have to be "unreasonable behavior" and it would need a court case that brought everything out in the open? this sounds as if it could get expensive?
Mick.

[mickcant]

If you read to the bottom of the auto-reply it says

"13. Report an immigration offence

If you know someone is breaking immigration laws, for example by being in the United Kingdom illegally or by employing an illegal immigrant, please write to us at the following address:

UK Border Agency, Evidence & Enquiry, Lunar House, 40 Wellesley Road, Croydon CR9 2BY.

Alternatively you can send the details by e-mail to this address. (You do not need to re-send the information if you have already done so.)

We may not be able to acknowledge your letter or e-mail but we will pass it on to the relevant local immigration team. Where appropriate, they will investigate and take action. "

So it should get to the right place.

Thanks Darren-b,
The way that reads they may not answer the email at all but might take action, which leaves me wondering and not knowing!
I will send it to the other address as well and just hope!
Mick.

[Scouse]

Hi Mick

If you are a trades union member they probably have a free legal help line for anything that is not related to work.

Failing that try the local CAB or if you have a university near where you live see if they have a legal advice clinic. The latter have professional lawyers to advise and the students sit in to learn and do all the 'leg work' if any is needed.

Won't cost anything to find out.

[Tawi2]

If she doesnt want a divorce at the moment Mick she has probably listened to fourth-hand rumours and fishwives gossip in Pinas that she can claim something,somehow,in reality she is entitled to zip.Dont rush into the divorce Mick,its going to be at your expense,leave her in Limbo,at least that way she cant find and sucker another foreign husband.

[socool007]

All i did was post the letter then forgot about it.Pants to are wifes

[LastViking]

Hi all,
To add to the divorce issue, I have just found this on a divorce website:
What are the grounds for a divorce?
Irretrievable breakdown of marriage is the only grounds for divorce. You must prove irretrievable breakdown in one of five different ways. These are:
- adultery
- unreasonable behavior (often described as cruelty)
- desertion for two years
- separation for two years where the other party consents
- separation for five years (no consent needed)

So wth the fact that she left me does it seem I have to wait untill she has been gone two years?
If I wantd to divorce now does that mean it woud have to be "unreasonable behavior" and it would need a court case that brought everything out in the open? this sounds as if it could get expensive?
Mick.

Hi Mick. Claiming a divorce on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour" doesn't necessarily mean a court hearing unless it is contested. If your ex fails to reply to the case, then I understand it is treated as not contested. Would she be able to afford to instruct solicitors in the UK to argue her case?

Your problem is establishing the grounds for "unreasonable behaviour" which shows that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

LV

[jonathan47]

mick, to report you ex to the immigration authorites i would suggest faxing and explanation of what has happened to the ECM at manila also make sure you are withdrawing your sponsorship and that the relationship has brokendown


regards
j

[darren-b]

mick, to report you ex to the immigration authorites i would suggest faxing and explanation of what has happened to the ECM at manila also make sure you are withdrawing your sponsorship and that the relationship has brokendown


regards
j

To be honest they probably aren't worth involving, as if she tried to apply for another visa at the moment she'd get flagged anyway because of her existing visa/marriage. And if she tried to come to the UK now using her existing visa she wouldn't go near them anyway.

[mickcant]

Hello all,
I have had no contact with Jennifer for some weeks, I sent her a text about the operations on her younger siblings but she did not reply.
I have had emails from two of her sisters saying they thought she was coming back here, I know nothing about that!
I have now recived this emai about my trying to cancell her visa, it seems to read to me that she would be allowed to return here but after I send the letter she would be refused further leave to remain when the visa expires in
2011. here is the email:
Dear Mr Cant,

Thank you for your enquiry.

Please be advised that if your marriage is no longer subsisting, you should write a letter confirming this, to the following address:

UK Border Agency, NCC3, 9th Floor, Lunar House, 40 Wellesley Road, Croydon, Surrey CR9 2BY.

You should include in your letter confirmation that you can be safely contacted at the address you give, or provide an alternative contact address. Please also provide a telephone number at which you can be safely contacted if necessary and the address of your estranged partner
if you know it.

Where an overseas national has been granted limited leave to enter or remain on the basis of marriage, an application for indefinite leave to remain on that basis will not be granted if the British or settled partner formally makes it clear that they do not support the application.

Yours sincerely,

Umar Saif
Immigration Group
UK Border Agency

Mick.

[aromulus]

I have had emails from two of her sisters saying they thought she was coming back here, I know nothing about that

Due to her Visa she will be allowed to re-enter the country and live and work here legally for the next couple of years.

After the visa expires, she will obviously try to overstay illegally.
Nothing that can be done for now, I reckon...

[Northerner]

Seems to me Mick that once you send that letter, your wife will be stuck in Pinas without a visa and without a divorce to free her up to move on. The perfect revenge perhaps?

Perhaps not...

I can tell from your posts that you are still hurting from this incident and dragging this whole thing out is hurting you even more. The fact that she is not available to you by email or text is a classic attempt to seem disinterested and hurting you even more in the process.

I think it is best you moved on and put this woman behind you! but the healing process can take years in some people. I know it did with me some yeas ago.. But I am sure in time the day will come when she does contact you (perhaps for the divorce) and you will be almost immune to the fact it is her contacting you. And I hope that happens soon.

On my recent visit to Pinas I met up with my ex (and I am sure everyone has read my older posts/thread) and made an attempt to put her in contact with her cousins who had been the people who passed on the information to me that she was cheating me. I had long forgiven her and moved on and in some way I guess I wanted to see her face to face and know deep down I felt nothing for her.. And I felt very little for her, except I felt sorry for her. But she strengthened my feelings for Rizza as I knew I had found something far better. A real, loving woman

Good luck Mick

[mickcant]

Seems to me Mick that once you send that letter, your wife will be stuck in Pinas without a visa and without a divorce to free her up to move on. The perfect revenge perhaps?

Perhaps not...

I can tell from your posts that you are still hurting from this incident and dragging this whole thing out is hurting you even more. The fact that she is not available to you by email or text is a classic attempt to seem disinterested and hurting you even more in the process.

I think it is best you moved on and put this woman behind you! but the healing process can take years in some people. I know it did with me some yeas ago.. But I am sure in time the day will come when she does contact you (perhaps for the divorce) and you will be almost immune to the fact it is her contacting you. And I hope that happens soon.

On my recent visit to Pinas I met up with my ex (and I am sure everyone has read my older posts/thread) and made an attempt to put her in contact with her cousins who had been the people who passed on the information to me that she was cheating me. I had long forgiven her and moved on and in some way I guess I wanted to see her face to face and know deep down I felt nothing for her.. And I felt very little for her, except I felt sorry for her. But she strengthened my feelings for Rizza as I knew I had found something far better. A real, loving woman

Good luck Mick

Hi Northerner,
Yes I am still hurting; she has been in contact yesterday, but more or less to say how hurt she feels!
Remember she was the one who decided to return to the Philippines, as she said to be with her younger siblings until they had their operations.
I have been contacted by two of her sisters and the husband of her elder sister, asking why she returned there, I have drawn up an account of things to keep an accurate record and to take to a solicitor I have made an appointment for one of the free half hour appointments to make clearer to me my options for the 25th November.
I have been to the “Law Centre” and the “Citizens Advice” neither of which could help with any problems from the Philippine front.
This is what I think (learnt from friends here) my options are.
I have obtained a divorce pack from my local court, I can fill this in and send her the form for her to sign (if she would) then I send it to “Her Majesty’s Court Service”
This would need to be for her “Unreasonable Behaviour”
In that she misused £2,000 I paid into her bank account, after already paying all the wedding expenses into the account and them being paid, when I transferred the “2,000
I texted her and emailed her to please not use this money for anything else as it was for our honeymoon, but when there found there was only 4,000 pesos which is around £51.00, she did at least cry about that and said her father needed money for his sister to have an operation.
So that is 1 of the 5 or 6 points needed.
On honeymoon she would not let me cuddle or hold her, saying she needed time to adjust then towards the end of the honeymoon, I said that if we did not make love while we were together when I returned to the UK I would assume she did not want us to be married and seek an annulment on non consummation.
The next morning she said we could make love, which we did but she was then as cold as she was before.
Hopefully that is no 2.
When I returned to the UK, we had filled in the online settlement visa form, I left £2,000 in pesos with her for her trip to Manila for the visa requirements and her air fare here and of course her daily needs, I hoped we would be together in around 3 months.
But as soon as I was on my way home, she left her home in Cagayan De Oro City and disappeared according to her family, I did not hear from her for 4 months, she then told me she had left home as her father was pressuring her for money, but then lost the money in an internet scan trying to make money with an aunt of hers in Manila, and that she was now working in a phone sales shop trying to make the money up.
Hopefully that is no 3.
Some 17 months after the wedding my wife arrived at Heathrow Airport in the UK on 29th September 2009. we arrived back at my home at 2030, She was tired after the journey, and was in bed by 2045, when I went to bed later I saw she was lying fully clothed on top of the bed quilt (I had bought a new bed and thick quilt) I thought it best to leave her as she was asleep,
It turned out she slept fully clothed on top of the quilt every night.
I did of course want to hold her close and kiss her; she would allow that but soon pulled back.
She would not let me get close to her during the 12 days she was here and of course we did not make love.
Hopefully that is no 4.

She then said she needed to go home until her 2 younger siblings had operations they needed, as they were born with no rectums and had colostomy bags, but there is no date arranged for this as her father still could not get his share of the money together, I had already given £3,000 towards the cost at the time of our wedding.
But I then found from her family that she had not gone home but was back working in Manila.

Can that be no 5?

She has said she does not want to divorce, so I dough she will sign it.
I believe if a solicitor is used and they somehow serve her the papers, if she refuses to accept it a judge might proceed without her?

Or does it mean waiting until she has been gone two years or do I have to wait 5 years so that I can divorce her without needing her consent?
Mick.

[Tawi2]

How can she be hurt if your the wronged party?Dont let her twist it mick Just forget her,she has issues,if she wont sign the divorce papers just leave it,it means she is stuck in pinas unable to scam another westerner.

[mickcant]

How can she be hurt if your the wronged party?Dont let her twist it mick Just forget her,she has issues,if she wont sign the divorce papers just leave it,it means she is stuck in pinas unable to scam another westerner.

I agree but that does not let me move on, _if_ i did want to meet somone else I am not free either am I?
Mick.

[bornatbirth]

when you give more details about the money you have given her and what she tells you.....you should of stopped with her back then,sadly she as just taken your good will for a ride.

i wont bother talking to to her again,well tell her your getting a divorce and tell her to sign it