Hi Northerner,Originally Posted by Northerner
Seems to me Mick that once you send that letter, your wife will be stuck in Pinas without a visa and without a divorce to free her up to move on. The perfect revenge perhaps?
Perhaps not...
I can tell from your posts that you are still hurting from this incident and dragging this whole thing out is hurting you even more. The fact that she is not available to you by email or text is a classic attempt to seem disinterested and hurting you even more in the process.
I think it is best you moved on and put this woman behind you! but the healing process can take years in some people. I know it did with me some yeas ago.. But I am sure in time the day will come when she does contact you (perhaps for the divorce) and you will be almost immune to the fact it is her contacting you. And I hope that happens soon.
On my recent visit to Pinas I met up with my ex (and I am sure everyone has read my older posts/thread) and made an attempt to put her in contact with her cousins who had been the people who passed on the information to me that she was cheating me. I had long forgiven her and moved on and in some way I guess I wanted to see her face to face and know deep down I felt nothing for her.. And I felt very little for her, except I felt sorry for her. But she strengthened my feelings for Rizza as I knew I had found something far better. A real, loving woman
Good luck Mick
Yes I am still hurting; she has been in contact yesterday, but more or less to say how hurt she feels!
Remember she was the one who decided to return to the Philippines, as she said to be with her younger siblings until they had their operations.
I have been contacted by two of her sisters and the husband of her elder sister, asking why she returned there, I have drawn up an account of things to keep an accurate record and to take to a solicitor I have made an appointment for one of the free half hour appointments to make clearer to me my options for the 25th November.
I have been to the “Law Centre” and the “Citizens Advice” neither of which could help with any problems from the Philippine front.
This is what I think (learnt from friends here) my options are.
I have obtained a divorce pack from my local court, I can fill this in and send her the form for her to sign (if she would) then I send it to “Her Majesty’s Court Service”
This would need to be for her “Unreasonable Behaviour”
In that she misused £2,000 I paid into her bank account, after already paying all the wedding expenses into the account and them being paid, when I transferred the “2,000
I texted her and emailed her to please not use this money for anything else as it was for our honeymoon, but when there found there was only 4,000 pesos which is around £51.00, she did at least cry about that and said her father needed money for his sister to have an operation.
So that is 1 of the 5 or 6 points needed.
On honeymoon she would not let me cuddle or hold her, saying she needed time to adjust then towards the end of the honeymoon, I said that if we did not make love while we were together when I returned to the UK I would assume she did not want us to be married and seek an annulment on non consummation.
The next morning she said we could make love, which we did but she was then as cold as she was before.
Hopefully that is no 2.
When I returned to the UK, we had filled in the online settlement visa form, I left £2,000 in pesos with her for her trip to Manila for the visa requirements and her air fare here and of course her daily needs, I hoped we would be together in around 3 months.
But as soon as I was on my way home, she left her home in Cagayan De Oro City and disappeared according to her family, I did not hear from her for 4 months, she then told me she had left home as her father was pressuring her for money, but then lost the money in an internet scan trying to make money with an aunt of hers in Manila, and that she was now working in a phone sales shop trying to make the money up.
Hopefully that is no 3.
Some 17 months after the wedding my wife arrived at Heathrow Airport in the UK on 29th September 2009. we arrived back at my home at 2030, She was tired after the journey, and was in bed by 2045, when I went to bed later I saw she was lying fully clothed on top of the bed quilt (I had bought a new bed and thick quilt) I thought it best to leave her as she was asleep,
It turned out she slept fully clothed on top of the quilt every night.
I did of course want to hold her close and kiss her; she would allow that but soon pulled back.
She would not let me get close to her during the 12 days she was here and of course we did not make love.
Hopefully that is no 4.
She then said she needed to go home until her 2 younger siblings had operations they needed, as they were born with no rectums and had colostomy bags, but there is no date arranged for this as her father still could not get his share of the money together, I had already given £3,000 towards the cost at the time of our wedding.
But I then found from her family that she had not gone home but was back working in Manila.
Can that be no 5?
She has said she does not want to divorce, so I dough she will sign it.
I believe if a solicitor is used and they somehow serve her the papers, if she refuses to accept it a judge might proceed without her?
Or does it mean waiting until she has been gone two years or do I have to wait 5 years so that I can divorce her without needing her consent?
Mick.
