why i just cant change..

[Sophie]

Hi Sadly Confused, i know you're trying your best now but you have to try harder to work on yourself and your mindset.....
Focus on how good of a man your husband is, rather than what he is not and count your blessings and not what you don't have.....
Be happy with little things, if you are not happy with small things, you will never be happy with bigger things....
Like him signing you up for the gym, you should be happy for that instead of looking at how bad the gym is,
how it sucks and how it lacks all the amenities you were used to back home....
Its all about contentment and making do of what you have and being thankful about it....

Marriage is about give and take....your husband signed you up for the gym to show he thinks about you and want to do things that will make you happy....
your fair share would be, is to appreciate his effort instead of criticising how cheap and rubbish the gym he signed you up for....
I feel that whatever your husband do for you, you will never be happy,because your mind is programmed
to be always critical about everything and whatever he does, will never be good enough for you....
I understand you're trying hard to be the better and more appreciative wife, but i suggest you try harder....

And forget about your single life, you are married now and single no more,
so you can never live the single life you used to before, you have to come to terms with that....
And the worst part is comparing your husband to your ex....Your husband and ex are two different people...
you cannot expect your husband to be like your ex and you're not being fair to your husband by doing that.....
Stop focusing on what your ex have that your husband don't, and instead, think of what your husband have and what's special about him,
remind yourself of the very reason why you married him in the first place.....your ex is history and it should stay that way....

Obsessing about how you miss your single life back home and how you miss being pampered and spoiled by your ex,
this are excess baggage you should not bring into your marriage.....
If you don't reconcile that with yourself now, you will end up ruining your marriage
because the weight of your baggage will be too much to handle....both by you and by your husband....
Anyway, keep trying for a job, you will have one in time, just be patient...it will come.....

[IainBusby]

From reading both this and your earlier posting it seems to me that you have married for all of the wrong reasons. All you can do now is decide once and for all what it is you want from life and if it isn't your "very good husband" (a summary of you words) then you should stop moaning and do something about it.

You can either accept the fact that your married and accept and learn to live with all that goes with marriage, both good and bad, or you can leave him and try to make a new life for yourself that is more to your liking..... without your husband.

[Queenbee]

Hi Sadly Confused, i know you're trying your best now but you have to try harder to work on yourself and your mindset.....
Focus on how good of a man your husband is, rather than what he is not and count your blessings and not what you don't have.....
Be happy with little things, if you are not happy with small things, you will never be happy with bigger things....
Like him signing you up for the gym, you should be happy for that instead of looking at how bad the gym is,
how it sucks and how it lacks all the amenities you were used to back home....
Its all about contentment and making do of what you have and being thankful about it....

Marriage is about give and take....your husband signed you up for the gym to show he thinks about you and want to do things that will make you happy....
your fair share would be, is to appreciate his effort instead of criticising how cheap and rubbish the gym he signed you up for....
I feel that whatever your husband do for you, you will never be happy,because your mind is programmed
to be always critical about everything and whatever he does, will never be good enough for you....
I understand you're trying hard to be the better and more appreciative wife, but i suggest you try harder....

And forget about your single life, you are married now and single no more,
so you can never live the single life you used to before, you have to come to terms with that....
And the worst part is comparing your husband to your ex....Your husband and ex are two different people...
you cannot expect your husband to be like your ex and you're not being fair to your husband by doing that.....
Stop focusing on what your ex have that your husband don't, and instead, think of what your husband have and what's special about him,
remind yourself of the very reason why you married him in the first place.....your ex is history and it should stay that way....

Obsessing about how you miss your single life back home and how you miss being pampered and spoiled by your ex,
this are excess baggage you should not bring into your marriage.....
If you don't reconcile that with yourself now, you will end up ruining your marriage
because the weight of your baggage will be too much to handle....both by you and by your husband....
Anyway, keep trying for a job, you will have one in time, just be patient...it will come.....

oh miss sexy sophie can you be ma doctor love,,You really give good advises!

[Queenbee]

There's a reason why and EX is an ex..He's the past and life must go forward...

I hope you got married for the right reasons ma dear as divorce and annulment is hell expensive,,,Plus you have to have strong grounds for that...

[KeithD]

....annulment is hell expensive,,,Plus you have to have strong grounds for that...

My wife could do that easily, put me down as a mental nutter ..... I'd have to agree