I can't attract zee ladies...

[nigel]

A British guy is on holiday in the south of France, he is walking up and down the beach hoping to attract some girls, but they take no notice of him..

Then he spots a French man on the beach with girls all surrounding him, so he asks "How do I attract the ladies around here? What must I do?"

The French guy says "Ahh I zhink I can help you wiz thiz, what you neeeed iz zsome zskin tight zzswimming trunkszz! When zee ladies look at you, zhey will love you! Zhey love you!

So the Brit guy buys 'zsome zskin tight zzswimming trunkszz!' walks up and down the beach in them, but still can't attract the girls..

The French guy says "Zhen what you neeeed iz a potato from zee grozery zzstore! Put zee potato down zee zzswimming trunkszz, and when zee ladies look at you zhey will love you! Zhey will zhink you are zzsexy uh? Zhey love you!

So the Brit guy rushes to buy a potato from 'zee grozery zzstore!' and puts it down his 'zskin tight zzswimming trunkszz!'

He walks up and down the beach again and still can't attract the girls...

The French man looks at him and says "Idiot! Put zee potato down zee FFFRONT of zee zzswimming trunkszz!"

[Tawi2]

I thought you had gone off to live in Japan Nigel

[nigel]

I thought you had gone off to live in Japan Nigel

Kamichiwa! (I think that's what they say?)