1st Blog - My First Pinay Experiance

[antony73]

I met my first Pinay girlfriend on the 1st October 2009. Compared to Western girlfriends I've had she is completely different. She is polite, caring, funny, family orientated and always refuses money... can somebody wake me up please!

My girlfriend, Rose (Rusel), lives in Fatima, Uhaw, and is a devout Catholic. Discussing Christian belief is a regular and in-depth topic for us. She lived on a farm in the mountains, and later trained as a nurse, however is currrently unemployed due to ill health.

We met on an internet dating site, AsianEuro.com, and from our very first conversation connected. After having interests and messages from over 250 other Asian women, Rose was definately the one for me!

I will visit her late January 2010 - really looking forward to that! Previously, my mind was set on visiting China having leanred Mandarin for 3 years and making Chinese friends in the local Chinese comunity.

Philippino's I believe have the edge over Chinese regarding cross-culture relationships. The Asian desire for poorer girls to live in the West is still strong, but Philippino's have religion in their culture, in their blood, so have a natural warmth. Therefore for this and other reasons, in my opinion, I think Pinays are more compatible to Western men than Chinese women are.

I hope Rose and myself will continue together, the future is bright. Such is our connection, she is eager to push our relationship forward and marry, even if that means that I lived in the Philippines with her. Trying so slow things down is difficult, and this this relationship it isn't going to be cheap. To talk with Rose, visit and marry her, I estimate £10k for everything. Still, as I've said, the future is bright!

[dave63]

Good luck next year hope all goes well and that your relationship blossoms.

[abby]

hi antony73!!

im from gensan, and Rose is from Fatima, Uhaw that is closed to the university where i used to go to... I hope everything will goes well for both of you... Godbless to your relationship...

[IanB]

Compared to Western girlfriends I've had she is completely different. She is polite, caring, funny, family orientated

sorry that you have had bad experiences with western girlfriends, but don't assume that all western girls are bad nor that all filipinas are angels. We are all humans and there is good and bad everywhere.

[New Shoes]

sorry that you have had bad experiences with western girlfriends, but don't assume that all western girls are bad nor that all filipinas are angels. We are all humans and there is good and bad everywhere.

I agree 100% with IanB
Please take off the rose coloured specs!

[September]

sorry that you have had bad experiences with western girlfriends, but don't assume that all western girls are bad nor that all filipinas are angels. We are all humans and there is good and bad everywhere.

I agree 100% with IanB
Please take off the rose coloured specs!

[kimmi]

I met my first Pinay girlfriend on the 1st October 2009. Compared to Western girlfriends I've had she is completely different. She is polite, caring, funny, family orientated and always refuses money... can somebody wake me up please!

My girlfriend, Rose (Rusel), lives in Fatima, Uhaw, and is a devout Catholic. Discussing Christian belief is a regular and in-depth topic for us. She lived on a farm in the mountains, and later trained as a nurse, however is currrently unemployed due to ill health.

We met on an internet dating site, AsianEuro.com, and from our very first conversation connected. After having interests and messages from over 250 other Asian women, Rose was definately the one for me!

I will visit her late January 2010 - really looking forward to that! Previously, my mind was set on visiting China having leanred Mandarin for 3 years and making Chinese friends in the local Chinese comunity.

Philippino's I believe have the edge over Chinese regarding cross-culture relationships. The Asian desire for poorer girls to live in the West is still strong, but Philippino's have religion in their culture, in their blood, so have a natural warmth. Therefore for this and other reasons, in my opinion, I think Pinays are more compatible to Western men than Chinese women are.

I hope Rose and myself will continue together, the future is bright. Such is our connection, she is eager to push our relationship forward and marry, even if that means that I lived in the Philippines with her. Trying so slow things down is difficult, and this this relationship it isn't going to be cheap. To talk with Rose, visit and marry her, I estimate £10k for everything. Still, as I've said, the future is bright!

Goodluck Anthony..wishing you all the best with ur relationship with Rose..

[laurel]

Nice to read good news.........hope your relationship develops well. All the best

[whiteraven]

Nice to read good news.........hope your relationship develops well. All the best

10k? i must have done something right cost half that. at the end of the day you cant think of this in terms of cost. slow things down a little and see if she still feels the same way . a coule of years will show if this relationship is genuine. good luck in your relationship

[triple5]

Such is our connection, she is eager to push our relationship forward and marry,

From my experience they're the type of girls you want to take things slow with. Very slow. Get to know her in person first.

[laurel]

[QUOTE=whiteraven;191069]10k?

wow , read over that bit . Still good luck none the less

[aug06_2006]

Hi Anthony, wish you a luck!

[antony73]

triple5, thanks for your words. You said "From my experience they're the type of girls you want to take things slow with. Very slow," you're a respected member, so obviously experianced, so could I please ask, why do you advise to go 'Very Slow' with with Rose?

I agree things are moving much much faster than I would normally allow, and pressing the brakes a little is difficult with Rose. When I want to go slower, she says how much she's not plastic or a scammer and that she's true and honest etc. It's difficult to get over to her that we are actualy moving too fast. And yet, we get along so well, it's hard to find a reason to back up my words.

Thanks to everyone else who commented.

As always - comments and advice welcome, appretiated and useful... than you

[KeithD]

.....she says how much she's not plastic or a scammer .....

Your average dating Filipino wouldn't even say that, nor want to rush things.

[triple5]

Hi Antony, my first filipina gf was very keen to marry. I spent 2 weeks with her, which at the time was great. It seemed like we hit off, but I wanted a few more visits before popping the question. Whenever she brought the subject up I kind of dodged the topic.

Anyways, I recently found out a few weeks after visiting her, a japanese guy she met online went for a visit, a few weeks after that a belgium guy. A few weeks after that she married the japanese guy. Its a long and confusing story, but in a nutshell I believe the girl would have married any guy who asked her. Some have this mindset that a wedding to a foreigner will solve all their problems.

If you were to see her on cam and chat you'd think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Like a friend of mine says, "They're all smiling assasins". I wouldn't go that far, but my advice would be to take your time a little. Even after spending 2 weeks with that girl I didn't really know the first thing about her. All her friends and family were so nice and welcoming, and she was playing the role of the perfect partner, it could have been easy to get swept away and propose. So glad I didn't.

Your the same age as me, Antony, still young Get yourself out there, meet her, enjoy the country and if it doesn't work out there's plenty more to fall for. Have a search on here. There's a few stories of guys who rushed into things and it went tits up quickly afterwards.

Best of luck.

[bornatbirth]

are new to this and feel a little unsure about what you are doing and feel pressured by her rushing you?

then tell her how you feel,infact think of some things to ask her and see what she says.

it maybe just that you have a straight talking filipina,whos not really in a rush but wants to know exactly whats going on with the both of you.

if she hasnt asked for money and she ill,then thats a good sign.

if she feels she is wasting time talking to you,she may chat with other men and unless you get there first,she may chose somebody else?

[aphrodite78]

sorry that you have had bad experiences with western girlfriends, but don't assume that all western girls are bad nor that all filipinas are angels. We are all humans and there is good and bad everywhere.

i agree with IanB, having been thru a relationship with a filipino and a westerner i totally agree.

sometimes we tend to look in rose tinted glasses. i myself have experienced it and yes i was very naive and trusting. i guess you just have to trust your own judgement and like what others say take things slow, you are not in a rush are you?

good luck and i hope you find what you are trully looking for. i have found mine and it took us 4 years, 2 kids.

[Tawi2]

IanB,New Shoes,White raven,Triple5 and win2win all gave good advice,Festina lente Hinay hinay lang Any woman wanting to rush into marriage has ulterior motives,as whiteraven says give the relationship time,and never work out costings or put a price on things,money means nothing at the end of the day,a stable relationship is priceless

[LadyJ]

Hi Anthony

Glad to hear your good news! Hope your relationship goes well.

Goodluck and Welcome to the forum.

[antony73]

triple5 - thanks for getting back to me. You tell a sobering story. And I like the "smiling assasins," very good! It is a problem dating someone so far away, and especially if they come from a very poor background. Trust and motives are both questioned.

bornatbirth - you are right. She is very keen to know my plan, however she has said she will wait for as long as I need. This is real good, but I ask myself, doesn't she want time to get to know me???

She has within about 10 weeks introduced me to about 10 members of her family including her mum and dad on webcam, this is very nice, but it doesn't half put the pressure on! I'm not blind to the fact that, although she has suggested I live in Phil' with her, she really wants to live in the uk. I don't blame her, I want an Asian wife! We were both on AsianEuro for something more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend. But none of this works long term without love on both sides.

aphrodite and Tawi2, thank you also!!!

[Tawi2]

Hope things work out fine for you,always tread softly because it really is a minefield,never be pressured into anything,your life your decisions,but I have to give you kudos for learning mandarin in 3 years,I travelled right across china,lived in HK for four and a half years,but never bothered to learn anything beyond the basic cantonese curses and blasphemies

[South-east boy]

Like others have said (and maybe you think), talking about getting married after such a short time knowing each does seem very early. I have found a few times in life that even when you think you know someone well (even after a few years!) you can find out that you don't know them as well as you thought. I guess we can be too trusting and think that others are as genuine and open with nothing to hide as we are ourselves.

I do hope that you have found a genuine lady and everything goes well for you. If you have any doubts or concerns don't be afraid to ask people on here who will have more experience on such things.

[Florge]

well, I would like to speak for myself here.. in all my relationships, i always assume that it will lead into marriage.. thus, i was very careful in choosing the man i want to be my bf.. because, for me, it is pointless to be in a relationship if you would not end up getting married anyway.. so i always assume that a current bf is a potential husband.. and when i see a fault and sees that i can't live with that fault forever, then that's the end of the relationship... maybe Rose is the same... i am assuming that she wants to know if you are both on the same page, thus asking if your relationship would lead into marriage...

but yes... you have to be very slow with it... foremost is the fact that you are in a long-distance relationship and would need time to get to know each other... i suggest that you explain to her that you shouldn't be rushing things.. but also assure her of your commitment in your relationship..

good luck!

[antony73]

FLORGE - So simple and clear! You are absolutely right, and very perceptive. This is Rose 100%, she doesn't want to be messed around. Thank you for your comment, insight and advice. Thank you!

[JimOttley]

Hi Antony,

I read your opening post and lots of points made me uncomfortable, please do not take offense, I am just trying to respond honestly and possibly prompt you into some introspection.


however is currrently unemployed due to ill health.

You have not met yet, she is not well, you mention in other posts that she has introduced you to the rest of the family remotely. This could be innocent or it could be a more gentle entrapment process?


Philippino's I believe have the edge over Chinese regarding cross-culture relationships.

What is your real basis for this? I do not wish to be rude but it feels like a cynical assessment.


The Asian desire for poorer girls to live in the West is still strong, but Philippino's have religion in their culture, in their blood, so have a natural warmth. Therefore for this and other reasons, in my opinion, I think Pinays are more compatible to Western men than Chinese women are.


This expresses your own feelings about previous attempts (possibly?) to strike up a relationship with an Asian lady. Why are Filipina girls really any better in this respect, I would feel more comfortable with your opinion if you had told us you had already been there and already had personal experience of this natural compatibility?


Trying so slow things down is difficult, and this this relationship it isn't going to be cheap. To talk with Rose, visit and marry her, I estimate £10k for everything. Still, as I've said, the future is bright![/QUOTE]

I have spent vastly more than that, but then again I am still not married technical complications but what the hell, such is life


You have not actually met yet, you really need to be careful, give it a few successful visits (should cost a lot less than 10k) then make up your mind if that is where you future is!

I met my partner 5 years ago we now have two kids, I support granny (a wonderful lady), slightly disabled sister, our kids, and we foster my partners sisters youngest girl because her dad is a waste of space, she works hard at school because she knows what a mess her family is in, this girl is only 12 years old :(

Filipina ladies are very often wonderful women but please don't try to work on the basis of stereotypical views of Asian cultures.

Like the rest of us they are a complex people with complex personal desires and very diverse reasons for getting involved with a foreigner. Not all of those reasons are good and that opinion comes from a man who absolutely loves the Philippines, his partner, family and the Filipino culture

Jim

[Tish]

Filipina ladies are very often wonderful women but please don't try to work on the basis of stereotypical views of Asian cultures.

Like the rest of us they are a complex people with complex personal desires and very diverse reasons for getting involved with a foreigner. Not all of those reasons are good and that opinion comes from a man who absolutely loves the Philippines, his partner, family and the Filipino culture

Jim[/QUOTE]


I like this!

[antony73]

JinOttley - thank you for your comments

Your first point, yes I had thought of this, but thank you anyway.

Second and third, I absolutely love Chinese, most of my friends are Chinese, but my comment was based on the experiance others of who had dated from both cultures. If I am wrong, then I apoligise, but if you read my comments I did say "I think" and "in my opinion." I could be wrong though!

Fourth, I don't steriotype, but culture does express itself through each and every personality. And culture does exist. As it happens, Rose is vastly different to the approximate 250 interests and messages sent me on AsianEuro. I'm not stupid, ignorant or blind, I take Rose as she is, and not as I percieve Asian culture to be, for good or bad.

Thanks again Jim

[jonathan47]

anthony73 welocome to the forum, i agree with a lot of the comments here and support most of them but i would say that the love of a beautiful filipina lady is like no other i have experienced i fell for my mahal quick and hard and completly she not my first filipina gf so i had some experience of the culture etc ..but i fell hard and completley within days went to see her within weeks found her to be more than i could imagine or hope for proposed and currently waiting for her fiancee visa, !!! only you know the conversations you have had and how you feel if like me you have had failed western relationships, you will know where i am coming from if i say that my mahal is completly diferent yes there is maybe an economic element i think there is in a lot of relationships, but when you met when you see her when you talk to her friends and family you will know, i had doubts from the begining with my first filipina gf, i never have had any doubts with annabel, and yes i tested her i would ring her unexpectently,i would ask her to do something for me or plans we made ahe always did what she said she would..... we have an expression trust and believe, its is the most important element of a long distance relationship, if you do decide she is the onem commit 100%.......word of warning and this is not aimmed at filipina woman but western man to or maybe everyone, its know as collect and select, collect bf's and if you not sure you carry on collecting ubtill one come to see you and if you like him then he's the one, i dont think its wrong becuase for all she knows you are messing her around and not serious !!!

[antony73]

jonathan47 - thanks for that.

I spent time chatting and getting to know quite a few Philipino women online and telephone, and had some nice relationships, just with Rose, it was completely different. It's only been two months, but we easliy chat 15 hours or more every week.

I've done a lot of the checks suggested by some, calling unexpectedly (she always has time), I said recently i need more time (she says fine, she'll wait) when offering money to pay for her time in the internet cafe, mail or something, she says, "oh that subject again, can we talk about something else please." With some Pinay girls, I just got a feeling all wasn't well. They were very nice, but my gutt instinct said "No"

I hope all works out for you Jonathon, and wish you all they very best and happiness with Annabel. Sometimes love does just work very quick, and it lasts. Rare, but it does happen.

Thank you for your comments and telling me your story - good luck with the visa

[aposhark]

.......The Asian desire for poorer girls to live in the West is still strong, but Philippino's have religion in their culture, in their blood, so have a natural warmth. the future is bright!

My wife is not religious and hardly ever goes to church, and she is very loving and has natural warmth.
IMO I do not see the connection between religion and the warmth of a person.

Glad you have found someone who appeals to you and makes the future look bright!