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Thread: Hubby's being paranoid

  1. #1
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    Hubby's being paranoid

    Hi Forum Mates,

    Well we're off to the Phils for Christmas and my kids in the Phils doesn't know it yet. It will be a big surprise for them and I am really excited as I haven't spent christmas with them for nearly 4 years now.

    Last night we were watching a programme broadcasted at ITV3 about malarias and stuff and we saw this prison officer who was bitten by 4 mossies in Gambia.

    You see I've got 2 young kids (ages 2 and 10 mos) and I previously lived in Bulacan (just 45 mins car drive from Manila) and he is now getting paranoid about us going there to see my kids. So in short we ended up in debate as he is now opposing me to go there because of this. He said if I think that it is safe then he is going to trust my judgement. So in the end I said we might as well not go because I said no matter how many times I assured him there will always be a doubt anyway.

    I just don't know what to do guys. ANy advice?
    "Success is not about how much money you have; it's about the choices you can make in life"


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    Respected Member South-east boy's Avatar
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    But surely you have lived there before, your kids, family an friends do as well as thousands of other Filipinos and they have been and are fine! Are you able to find any statistics somehow on how many people live in the area or Phils as a whole compared to how many Malaria cases there have been? If it's very very low which I think it is, surely that will put his mind at ease more?


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    Respected Member dave63's Avatar
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    Can you not go to your nurse and get maleria jabs?Would that not put his mind at ease?
    :Yesterday was history.Tomorrow is a mystery.Today is a gift.This is why it is called"The present!"


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    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    my husband and son has been to the philippines aobut 14 times now, they only bothered with anti malaria tablets once.
    if it will help him you can get him to go to his GP for anti malaria tablets. but it is more hassle than its worth. theres only a few malaria hotspots in the philippines. when you get there just buy lots of OFF mosquito lotion and apply frequently.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    Hi Forum Mates,

    Well we're off to the Phils for Christmas and my kids in the Phils doesn't know it yet. It will be a big surprise for them and I am really excited as I haven't spent christmas with them for nearly 4 years now.

    Last night we were watching a programme broadcasted at ITV3 about malarias and stuff and we saw this prison officer who was bitten by 4 mossies in Gambia.

    You see I've got 2 young kids (ages 2 and 10 mos) and I previously lived in Bulacan (just 45 mins car drive from Manila) and he is now getting paranoid about us going there to see my kids. So in short we ended up in debate as he is now opposing me to go there because of this. He said if I think that it is safe then he is going to trust my judgement. So in the end I said we might as well not go because I said no matter how many times I assured him there will always be a doubt anyway.

    I just don't know what to do guys. ANy advice?
    My advice is to get on as originally planned and not cancel the trip, its been 4years, this trip is long overdue,
    besides, the entire philippines is not malaria-infested i suppose, only certain areas.....
    I understand your husband is getting a bit paranoid but he's probably just worried about the safety of everyone specially your 2 kids,
    anyway, to assure him and for his peace of mind, look up to the philippine health advisory guide,
    so you know where to be careful and what places in and around philippines you should not go....
    and anti-malaria shots or tablets would help and some off lotion as maria just said.....
    Its best to take all the necessary precautions to be sure.....
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    When I have been to africa I had every jab under the sun(probably even a HRT shot)and took anti malarial tablets till I rattled when I walked,massive difference between africa(wasnt known as the white mans grave for nothing)and Pinas,oh and it might be an idea to stop him watching travel programs,they can be quite terrifying,enjoy your trip



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Respected Member Ana_may365's Avatar
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    my hubby is very allergic to any insect bite,spclly mosquito,but everytime we go back to phils the first thing that i need to buy is big tube of 'OFF LOTION' for himand fetch it also when we goin to thailand.nothing to worry about


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    You both need to see your GP and get the meds before you go anyway, as recommended by the government.
    Keith - Administrator


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    [QUOTE=maria_and_matt;192286] theres only a few malaria hotspots in the philippines. QUOTE]

    You will find that, especially in the north, due to the recent floodings and stagnant water, the number of "hotspots" will increase dramatically.
    Also Dengue will be on the increase.

    I cannot understand people lack of common sense.... Why risk it...???

    Nothing may have happened in previous trips....but the danger is real, and present.

    This is exactly like Russian roulette...


  10. #10
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=aromulus;192303]
    Quote Originally Posted by maria_and_matt View Post
    theres only a few malaria hotspots in the philippines. QUOTE]

    You will find that, especially in the north, due to the recent floodings and stagnant water, the number of "hotspots" will increase dramatically.
    Also Dengue will be on the increase.

    I cannot understand people lack of common sense.... Why risk it...???

    Nothing may have happened in previous trips....but the danger is real, and present.

    This is exactly like Russian roulette...
    i agree of the risk being real, but i have family there who has lived in the philippines all their life, non of them caught malaria. and we do not take risk, i make sure that my husband and son use OFF lotion and reapply every 3 hrs. on our trips home i have to admit we rarely get bitten by mosquitoes using the off lotion.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


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    [QUOTE=maria_and_matt;192309]
    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post

    i agree of the risk being real, but i have family there who has lived in the philippines all their life, non of them caught malaria. and we do not take risk, i make sure that my husband and son use OFF lotion and reapply every 3 hrs. on our trips home i have to admit we rarely get bitten by mosquitoes using the off lotion.
    After living all her life in Cebu, my sister in law died of Dengue last year, and her 10 year old nephew the year before, in a different location....


  12. #12
    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=aromulus;192312]
    Quote Originally Posted by maria_and_matt View Post

    After living all her life in Cebu, my sister in law died of Dengue last year, and her 10 year old nephew the year before, in a different location....
    again off lotion could have prevented mosquito bites. the people back home are made aware that it is around, they are given advice.

    back to malaria, my son took the anti malaria tablets just the once as the side effects was so bad it made him ill.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


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    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    My hair fell out taking anti-malarials Luckily it grew back I packed in taking them,always use deet nowadays(I hope that makes the lamoks hair fall out).



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    My hair fell out taking anti-malarials Luckily it grew back I packed in taking them,always use deet nowadays(I hope that makes the lamoks hair fall out).
    I'd heard the side effects of anti-malaria tablets can be quite severe. Hair loss being quite common. I shared a room with a guy who had taken a course and he was complaining of voices in his head, nausea, headaches.


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    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by triple5 View Post
    I'd heard the side effects of anti-malaria tablets can be quite severe. Hair loss being quite common. I shared a room with a guy who had taken a course and he was complaining of voices in his head, nausea, headaches.
    i've learnt the hard way, my son was in hospital for 6 days, vomiting, headaches and general fatigue. luckily his pediatrician noticed that he was taking anti malaria tablets, he told me to stop it, after a week or so my son was back to normal. we thought he was going to die, he just cant stop vomiting.

    we were just adviced to be extremely careful from dusk till dawn, apply insect repellent lotions every 3 hrs.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


  16. #16
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    I had headaches as well but it was the hair loss I found shocking Got to admit however its better than what happened to an old mate of mine,had 2 weeks leave when he was based in HK,flew to Thailand and went up to the Burmese border for a mooch around,came back to Honkers and was complaining of headaches,dead within a week,cerebral malaria If its your time its your time I guess.



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  17. #17
    Restricted Access September's Avatar
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    Awww, tell her million of millions of people living in pinas and they're all fine, your right he is paranoid


  18. #18
    Respected Member liane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite78 View Post
    Hi Forum Mates,

    Well we're off to the Phils for Christmas and my kids in the Phils doesn't know it yet. It will be a big surprise for them and I am really excited as I haven't spent christmas with them for nearly 4 years now.

    Last night we were watching a programme broadcasted at ITV3 about malarias and stuff and we saw this prison officer who was bitten by 4 mossies in Gambia.

    You see I've got 2 young kids (ages 2 and 10 mos) and I previously lived in Bulacan (just 45 mins car drive from Manila) and he is now getting paranoid about us going there to see my kids. So in short we ended up in debate as he is now opposing me to go there because of this. He said if I think that it is safe then he is going to trust my judgement. So in the end I said we might as well not go because I said no matter how many times I assured him there will always be a doubt anyway.

    I just don't know what to do guys. ANy advice?
    He's just worried about the health of the young kids. But give him some time and he will realized that there's nothing to be worried about the mosquitoes here. Your place I think is safe and just take some lotions when you get here as most of the members here suggested. It's nice to be home here so go on with the plans
    Though you do not write books, you are the writer of your life. Because everything depends on YOU.


  19. #19
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by South-east boy View Post
    But surely you have lived there before, your kids, family an friends do as well as thousands of other Filipinos and they have been and are fine! Are you able to find any statistics somehow on how many people live in the area or Phils as a whole compared to how many Malaria cases there have been? If it's very very low which I think it is, surely that will put his mind at ease more?
    Yup you are right I should have showed him the stats and all that and assured him that my family is there and they are fine, I think I must have taken it personally since I am so itching to see my other two kids hence we have had an argument. He said he was just being protective which in a way I understand I guess I am the one being paranoid and being unreasonable.
    "Success is not about how much money you have; it's about the choices you can make in life"


  20. #20
    Respected Member aphrodite78's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    I had headaches as well but it was the hair loss I found shocking Got to admit however its better than what happened to an old mate of mine,had 2 weeks leave when he was based in HK,flew to Thailand and went up to the Burmese border for a mooch around,came back to Honkers and was complaining of headaches,dead within a week,cerebral malaria If its your time its your time I guess.
    Totally agree, if your numbers up you can't do anything about it. I guess we just have to be careful and avoid the places known for these cases. Thanks everyone I guess I have calmed down now, sometimes it's nice to get it off your chest. And this site has definitely helped. Thanks maria_and_matt, I was just about to ring surgery for that just in case hubby was persistent but he has backed down now (my porridge helped ) and thanks everyone for your advice.
    "Success is not about how much money you have; it's about the choices you can make in life"


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    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    He won't be going the Lake District then! All people in the flooded area are having shots in case the contaminated water gets in there system and causes several diseases
    Keith - Administrator


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    Oh boy oh boy please tell your husband to stop being paranoid.

    Four years without seeing your family back home is too much homesickness. Too looooong for you to wait! If everyday, you think of them as they are part of you.

    Philippines is not that bad!

    If you have the courage, determination and confidence, go for it!

    My desire to see my nearest and dearest in the Philippines can overcome all the obstacles and objections.

    There are huge number of Pinays wives who always wish to visit their love ones, as well as British to visit their mahal.

    If I won in a lottery and buy tickets for those friends who wish to visit Pinas, I'm sure they will be on a queue.


  23. #23
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    You could advise him that could take some malaria tablets to ease the worrying.
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


  24. #24
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    When I've been in RP I didn't bothered with antimalarics as I've been told about their side effects.
    Instead of them I've used strong repellent containing DEET designed for areas with high humidity and haven't got hardly any bites.
    Take a look at this: LIFE Systems - Expedition 100+ repellent
    Jiri & Maricel


  25. #25
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ji&Ma View Post
    When I've been in RP I didn't bothered with antimalarics as I've been told about their side effects.
    I only had one side-effect, and an extra testicle can be a bonus
    Keith - Administrator


  26. #26
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    I only had one side-effect, and an extra testicle can be a bonus
    Hmmmm
    Would have to try them next time then
    Jiri & Maricel


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